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Jac's back - the next 10 years

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  • Back to the PT on Wed morning, and I want to talk to him (different trainer) about why I don't get doms in my legs and ass. I get tired and wobbly that day, but no mild soreness the next day - unless I just don't notice it because my chest and arms are screaming??
    I have the exact same trouble. no doms ever in my legs and ass. always in my chest but not so much my arms as I don't directly work them. even when we worked out the padding for the bar for the glute bridge. the first time I did 10 @ 80kgs, 10 @ 90kgs and then 10 @ 100kgs, my ass muscle totally fatigued. it was the weirdest feeling of total exhaustion. I never get that ever. and once I had it once, it never happened again.

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    • Originally posted by seaweed View Post
      I have the exact same trouble. no doms ever in my legs and ass. always in my chest but not so much my arms as I don't directly work them. even when we worked out the padding for the bar for the glute bridge. the first time I did 10 @ 80kgs, 10 @ 90kgs and then 10 @ 100kgs, my ass muscle totally fatigued. it was the weirdest feeling of total exhaustion. I never get that ever. and once I had it once, it never happened again.
      That makes me feel better!!

      Second day of teaching is done and dusted - I'm wiped out. PT in the morning, then heading to Napier for 3 days to help my pregnant daughter.
      Started Feb 18 2011

      Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

      Journalling here

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      • The training last week was great - I loved it and buzzed for hours.

        Today I've been to the physio for 'myofascial release' - kind of like sports massage, but not painful. There's a whole field of recent science about how the fascia reacts to stress, and to put it in a nutshell (way oversimplified) it gets more and more rigid until the muscles have a kind of cocoon around them, and they freeze into whatever position they adopted over the years to cope with whatever stress it was - then the body compensates for muscles not working and puts others into weird positions and freezes them there. Sounds odd the way I've written it - more tomorrow!!
        Started Feb 18 2011

        Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

        Journalling here

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        • Today I've been to the physio for 'myofascial release'
          SNAP!!! I got a deep tissue massage off grab one and she did my right quad for an hour and diagnosed what I already knew for 30 mins. so not a 1.5hr massage so I was a tad irritated. i am so happy for you that you are getting into your training too.

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          • Originally posted by seaweed View Post
            SNAP!!! I got a deep tissue massage off grab one and she did my right quad for an hour and diagnosed what I already knew for 30 mins. so not a 1.5hr massage so I was a tad irritated. i am so happy for you that you are getting into your training too.
            Lol - we are very different, but it's amazing how our lives are connecting lately! That's a bummer about the length of time on the massage - you don't often hear good things about grabone.

            I've been sore since the physio yesterday, and considering how gentle he was, I'm surprised. He did mostly diagnostics, and (like the doctor) he pinpointed some of my main issues and explained them really well. I have slight lordosis - my lower back is permanently arched - probably because of the pain from endo over the years, and therefore my ass and stomach stick out. My psoas are rigid. One leg is shorter than the other because of those 2 issues. So, whenever I try to do upper abs I don't get the effect because my back is taking the strain. Walking is uncomfortable because of the back and psoas rigidity. The psoas runs through the abdomen in the same place that I experience 'IBS' pain from stress. The rigid muscles transmit feelings of panic and pain by effectively shortcutting the nervous system and resonating with the stimulus so I experience it in a really intense way. Holy shit!! He also explained the lack of DOMS while experiencing shakiness and pain the same day as the exercise - more to do with compensating mechanisms than with building genuine muscle strength.

            Yesterday he worked very briefly and lightly on my psoas muscles - going into my stomach area until I felt pain, then staying there. The pain lasted a little while, then it was replaced with intense heat. Amazing.

            Sadly, he said that I'll lose some of my strength as he progresses, but I'll replace it with genuine muscle gains. I have to stay off the free weights for the next couple of weeks because he thinks I could hurt my back really easily. I can keep going with the machines and the goblet squats, and then he'll start me on classes he runs to strengthen my core. Once I'm doing OK there, I can go back to the powerlifting and he works with a trainer who will work with me on health issues as well as strength. I explained that I really need someone who understands about the exhaustion part of recovery and not just the strength part and asked for a referral. Yay. It was also very cool that he said the only really good exercise I should be doing now is powerlifting! He said what I've felt - that first I have to get stronger, THEN I might be able to get the feel-good energy from walking or cardio type exercises. Oh, and the rigidity through my whole body is why I don't get the endorphin rush - it's all stress and overcompensating. I can't even describe how excited I am that the feelings I got last week at the gym could be a regular part of my life after this .

            I'd never heard of this guy before, but I'm so glad I went! He has a gym and core classes that I can access any time for free during the time that I have weekly appointments. I think that's a really good deal. It's an 8 week course, next appointment is next Thursday.

            In other news - I've found my tattoo artist. She has a private studio, and has done three people I know with amazing results. She works 4 hours a day, and has a waiting list - my appointment will be in September!! I don't know yet what I'll be getting, but it'll include the words 'still becoming'.

            And I finally sorted out a standing desk. Tony made it, and I painted it. It has the benefit of sitting over an L shaped desk, so I have four positions I use - standing, kneeling on a chair, sitting at the L part, and I also tucked an armchair into the corner for reading and resting. I love it!!

            20140317_124746.jpg
            Started Feb 18 2011

            Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

            Journalling here

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            • 51 years old today .

              I had the biggest meltdown last night that I've had for years. Something major is changing for me. Anyway, the kids gave me a facial/makeup session for my birthday, and it was just awful. I've had them twice before, and it's never good! But my youngest daughter works in the cosmetic industry and she was so excited about it that I went along with it. I had this oily goop plastered on my face, then she painted makeup as though I was a paint by numbers canvas. The face, in the end, had no resemblance to me with doll-eyes, rouged cheeks, and lipstick that was just weird - bright but 'neutral'?? I went home to shower it all off, and sobbed. It felt like I wasn't enough in any part of my life - not enough to get the next promotion at work, hair appointments to pretend that my hair isn't grey and frizzy, and now the kids apparently wanting a different mother altogether. And a husband who is a lot more cautious than me, so my impulses to race to the next big thing are rarely acted on these days.

              After my big pity party, I actually felt better. I'm still feeling tearful and a bit fragile, but kind of cleansed. I wonder if it's a part of the myofascial release?? John (the physio) did warn me that I might feel things that I haven't experienced in years - he talked about it in terms of the chemical responses to trauma being held in the muscle cells that he was releasing, and said it's pretty common to have people get really emotional in his rooms. He keeps tissues on his desk, which is kind of weird for a physio, lol. Maybe it's that??

              Fortunately I didn't act on the impulse to shave my head, or to scream at anyone . I may need therapy . . .
              Started Feb 18 2011

              Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

              Journalling here

              Comment


              • happy birthday Jac xx I hate makeup too. last time I got plastered was when they took some pics of me. Looked great from a distance on film but in real life all my wrinkles got "exaggerated" I think my teen told me LOL so many good ways of showing them why we don't do the pancake makeup when we get older and can! I think too they probably mean well giving you makeup. there is such a CW idea we love having make overs so it probably comes from there. Rather than you are not good enough. More a way of pampering you to make you feel special and show you how beautiful you really are to them.

                I don't know about those physios and massage people. it pisses me off big time when someone tells me I am stuffed and the only way to fix myself is to go see them regardless of how they explain it. or it is all over as this bit and that bit is starting to fail. kind of annoying when this bit and that bit still work the same way they have for years if not better. and have, ftr, been about to fail for years. maybe one day I will simply fall to pieces as I have ignored them all for several decades now, but till then, I will keep on going.

                getting a tattoo is way better than shaving your head. I am going to the hair dresser today btw! getting a promotion at work is often not what it is cracked up to be. things like more money, less responsibility, a job that enables you to live your life better, a job you genuinely enjoy is far better than "promotion" for promotion's sake. I don't need that kind of vindication myself. you have survived over half a century so celebrate that. and as to the less adventurous partner. relationships are about compromise. eg mine doesn't hunt. I don't take him either. the deal I have always stood on is if he doesn't want me to hunt, he can buy me a whole dead wild deer once a month or so and we can go tramping together. I also have never had to remind him, as he knows, he loves me for how I am, not how he can make me be. maybe I am also rash and impulsive at times and simply being with him keeps me in check a bit. but a good partner is about balance. I have had plenty of bad husbands who pushed me over the edge. so look on it as a reality check. he should also support you in anything reasonable you want to do.

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                • My less adventurous partner is actually a good grounding for me. If I really want/need something he doesn't stand in my way (even as far as moving Islands for me ) - but he asks the kind of questions that confront my need for change for its own sake, which pisses me off sometimes! But in the end, he helps me to take things more slowly and I help him to get out of his comfort zone. I do sometimes tease him that he'd have been a lot more comfortable with a 'sweet young thing' that wouldn't challenge him, lol. I was having a really bad day when I wrote that last post.

                  It's endlessly fascinating to me that science, well fringe science , is catching up with things the spiritually informed practitioners have been saying for ever - like memories are held in the body. I was referred to this particular physio by my 'fringe' doctor because he thinks some of my stress and anxiety are muscle memories that are triggered, rather than being based on current stressors. Given how much I freaked out about that last trip to Auckland, that makes sense. There's no logic to that level of anxiety, so it's got to come from somewhere. So the process of releasing muscles that are holding tension is a bit stressful in itself, and is likely to change how I experience things.

                  I'm increasingly aware that I've entered into a huge healing process. I went into it looking for gut health and weight loss, and instead I'm now doing 'bodywork' that is designed to build genuine strength and resilience, and connect me with my body in a way that I've never managed to do before - and in the process I'm addressing life issues like anxiety, panic, checking out, handling conflict, and what the hell I'm doing with my life. I haven't started with the new trainer yet, but I did find and start with a therapist. If I'm in this process, I might as well do it with all the resources I can find, and this woman comes highly recommended. She also has a waiting list to get into her, but when I phoned for an appointment she'd had a cancellation. Go figure.

                  I have about 10 weeks of sessions with the physio and the therapist - it'll be very interesting to see what happens. I'm so ready to do things differently.
                  Started Feb 18 2011

                  Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                  Journalling here

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                  • Tired - sooo tired. I'm waking in the night, which means my cortisol is messed up again. I've ordered the magnesium supplement again; it worked really well last time, and I didn't need it while I was away from work.

                    Apart from that, not much to say really! I did weights on Saturday, and the soreness faded yesterday. I can't do them again until after physio, though.
                    Started Feb 18 2011

                    Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                    Journalling here

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                    • I've been doing the night waking too. I tried carbs for breakfast yesterday but I am not really sure what I am doing with it. does the mag supplement help with cortisol at night?

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                      • Originally posted by seaweed View Post
                        I've been doing the night waking too. I tried carbs for breakfast yesterday but I am not really sure what I am doing with it. does the mag supplement help with cortisol at night?
                        I think so - I think it resets the cortisol cycle somehow. It's prescribed to take in the morning, although I usually like it at night.

                        I've been reducing carbs, and having horrible feelings like guilt/anxiety. Last night I ate several servings of kumara and it went away completely within minutes. Hmmm.
                        Started Feb 18 2011

                        Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                        Journalling here

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                        • that is interesting. I start worrying about weird things like having left a pot on on the stove when I go out sometimes or the truck making strange terminal noises. when I do that, I know something is wrong and in retrospect, these events usually occur when I am super low carb and/or major stress. I prob need to work out how the cortisol cycle works. all that peat stuff makes a lot more sense when you look at sugar lowering cortisol.

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                          • Yes it does make sense - I've been looking at my diet from too much of a short term perspective. Yesterday it was the result of inadvertently having very low carbs on Sunday and through Monday til teatime. I ate icecream on Saturday (Whittakers creamy chocolate - YUM!!) and felt fabulous. I didn't have any more carbs after that, though. The icecream carried me until Sunday evening, then the anxiety came back.
                            Started Feb 18 2011

                            Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                            Journalling here

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                            • I'm staying home today for most of the day - I'm exhausted, wired, and very sore. The sleep issue is part of it, but so is the standing desk! I've gone from sitting or lying down to work at home to standing and walking for hours during the day. My hips and legs feel like lead weights. I dosed up on painkillers last night, but I still woke up often with a racing mind and aching body. I just have to hold on for now, until I adjust to getting more activity and sort out the cortisol.

                              I had sushi for lunch yesterday, followed by about 8 roses chocolates, then came home and had potato salad with my chicken, then peaches and cream - that's a lot of carbs for one day! I didn't get any anxiety feelings at all. Will have to see what today brings.

                              I've been keeping a record of my pulse rate first thing in the morning. It's generally around the early-mid 70s, but for 2 days after I'd had a glass of cider it was over 80, and it was that way again today. I noticed it had increased after the chocolates yesterday. After the icecream it was normal. I have no idea what it means .

                              Session with the therapist this afternoon, and I have nothing to say. I'm beginning to think 'no idea' is my new way of living!!

                              I heard back again from the tattoo artist yesterday, and we're working out the right day in September for the appointment. She's confident that she can create a design that works for me, and since all her work is original I won't run into some random person wearing my art!
                              Started Feb 18 2011

                              Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                              Journalling here

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                              • OK, that has to have been my last low-carb experiment EVER. Now that I'm back on carbs the panicky feeling has gone.

                                The therapist was OK. I felt tired and emotional at the beginning, and more peaceful afterwards. I'm reminded of how great it feels to not be worrying all the time, which is definitely partly the low carb factor but also my standard way of coping with stress. In fact I seem to go looking for it, whether it belongs to me or not, when I'm in that bad space. Fortunately I know what it's like to NOT do that, so at least I have a point of reference. I'm big on the body hate at the moment.

                                Back to the physio today - he really finds the sore spots. He also did a stretch thing of my lower spine and pelvis, and at the moment I don't have the major curvature at the base of my spine. No doubt it will come back over the week until I go next, but right now it feels good.

                                I got the magnesium supplement yesterday, and had a much more restful sleep last night. The question is, though, whether it was the carbs, the therapy, or the mag!! I don't care, I'm working with all three. I'll stop the therapy at some point, but will keep going indefinitely with the others.
                                Started Feb 18 2011

                                Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                                Journalling here

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