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Jac's back - the next 10 years

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  • aww what a beautiful dog! re: protein and travelling. i have found good sucess with taking out something like cold roast beef or venison. hard boiled eggs. some black pepper and salt to go on the meat and eggs. a flask of coffee. piece of fruit and a bottle of water. saves me ending up with having to go with best case scenarios or thinking i can get away with starving myself and not winning on worst case scenarios.

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    • congrats on your daughters engagement. I hear you on the too young bit... you can imagine how I feel about the firemans daughters being pregnant at that age (or at least one at that age) ... and neither him or I feel that enthusiastic about the partners.

      Keep up the good work.

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      • Originally posted by seaweed View Post
        aww what a beautiful dog! re: protein and travelling. i have found good sucess with taking out something like cold roast beef or venison. hard boiled eggs. some black pepper and salt to go on the meat and eggs. a flask of coffee. piece of fruit and a bottle of water. saves me ending up with having to go with best case scenarios or thinking i can get away with starving myself and not winning on worst case scenarios.
        Yep - the bonus is that this week I can do that. I didn't feel that I could take our own food to my daughter's place, and they feed us meat and salad anyway. But Melbourne was a real challenge! I've cooked some primal sausages, hardboiled eggs, salsa and salad for the show tomorrow.

        Originally posted by Suse View Post
        congrats on your daughters engagement. I hear you on the too young bit... you can imagine how I feel about the firemans daughters being pregnant at that age (or at least one at that age) ... and neither him or I feel that enthusiastic about the partners.

        Keep up the good work.
        Thanks Suse - I distinctly remember feeling very mature when I decided to get married at 17 . I guess I should be grateful that she waited an extra 5 years!!
        Started Feb 18 2011

        Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

        Journalling here

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        • Wow, another conference finished - I'll never again do 2 x 3day conferences in 2 weeks. I'm absolutely shattered. This template is a kind of mash-up of the last week and this morning.

          Hunger: I've been eating sugar, so I'm getting hungrier.
          Energy: none
          Cravings: sugar, caffeine
          Movement: heaps of walking
          Play: some good times, but during the time I was away I never managed that joyful feeling that comes with play
          Food: some alcohol (not much - a glass of wine on Tuesday afternoon, a vodka on Monday night), rice and potatoes most days, icecream, chocolate, honey, you get the picture. NO wheat or the frankenfood supplied by the conference
          Protein intake: very low
          Sleep: insomnia, short sleep times
          Bloat: like a full term pregnancy
          Pain: not as bad as it could be
          Other: I've gained 2kg on the scale in 4 days.
          Started Feb 18 2011

          Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

          Journalling here

          Comment


          • Great work Jac! I've been through your entire journal, you certainly have tried quite a few different treatments!

            I've been trying to eliminate the candida from my system, just very hard when 8 months pregnant, so it has been diet changes only. I read up on fructose being a fuel for the fungus, so have taken all fruit except banana and berries out. Starches can fuel as well, and potato and rice are giving me bad heartburn, so they're out with grains. I've got the low carb flu, moving lots of stuff out of my chest as well, but really haven't felt better!
            The yeast really fights back when it dies off, so I've had to be really mindful of cravings to ensure I'm not rebuilding the colonies!

            Best of luck, will definitely keep checking back!

            Comment


            • Hi Vicky. 8 months pregnant - that's a lot . My 'kill the candida' diet was 3 weeks of no fruits, fermented or aged foods, or sweet foods. It worked, but it wasn't pleasant. Low carb flu at your stage sounds awful. Sympathies!!

              Hunger: a bit of hunger, but no starvation or blood sugar drops

              Energy: none
              Cravings: I really wanted fruit last night but we didn't have any. Didn't really turn into a craving though
              Movement: none - I sat and watched movies
              Play: had a bubble bath, but again I couldn't get much joy out of it
              Food: 3 egg omlet with cheese, coffee, 5 chicken drums and stir fried veges, peppermint tea
              Protein intake: probably only around 60g
              Sleep: great
              Bloat: going down - I lost 1kg overnight
              Pain: none
              Other: feeling miserable . But I'm trying to let myself experience it instead of checking out.

              I think I'm feeling anxious. It's like a free floating guilt that just hovers above me and every now and then swoops down and grabs at me. I'm feeling it in my gut mostly.

              Last week I was talking to a psychiatrist friend about my stress levels - she's had very severe depression over the years, and has pulled herself out of it one step at a time, so she's very cool to talk with. She described 'running hot' all the time - so the baseline stress level is way high, which means that any additional stress, no matter how tiny, puts you into the red zone. That makes sense. Only now I'm wondering if it's anxiety that is at the heart of the 'running hot'. I'm also wondering if working has been one way I've dealt with it - a different way of checking out that I hadn't recognised before.

              Now I'm supposed to be on sabbatical and I'm still responding to people, still working hard on non-creative things, and still not leaving the emails alone as much as I could. But trying to reduce all those things is making me feel really anxious, guilty, and miserable. I'm also stressing about money, my weight, the house and garden, the kids, - everything!! It's all rolling around in my head.

              I know lots of people who are very sure of themselves and have no problem organising their lives to suit themselves. I've never really done that - I tend to go for what I want but try and accommodate everyone else at the same time. It drives me crazy, literally, when I see myself doing that, but it's sooo hard to stop!!

              Of course, this could also be sugar withdrawals . . .
              Started Feb 18 2011

              Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

              Journalling here

              Comment


              • I think its in our make up Jac. Its about caring.
                Stop absolutely everything that you are doing RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! Yes i am talking loud. Put on your walking shoes and get out of the house. For one whole hour!!!!!!!! I am going to check back later this morning to see if you have been, gone, and come back!!!!
                Okay - good
                Have a nice time
                G x

                EDIT how did the walk go???????
                Last edited by NZ primal Gwamma; 12-05-2013, 04:43 PM.
                "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                ...small steps....

                Comment


                • Haha, thanks Gwamma - I'm reporting back as instructed!! I went to town instead, and feel better.
                  Started Feb 18 2011

                  Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                  Journalling here

                  Comment


                  • LOL retail therapy! always helps but sometimes i end up with serious anger management issues instead at this time of year. i dont really want to put too much about me on public domain but i so understand where you are coming from. i also dont think it is the sugar. i think it is an underlying issue and it is much easier to self medicate with food than anything else as we need it to live. which is why i think it is so hard to fix. not like being a drug addict as you can live the rest of your life without drugs. not food. unravelling the underlying issues. especially the propensity to check out is mind boggling. i mean we have almost half a century of doing it and coping mechanisms and behavioural patterns to deal with it that it is like peeling an onion. always a different layer underneath. i have gotten onto more lean protein and vit B. i got a deer at the weekend so i am just adding a hunk of venison to my breakfast every day. my desire for the more and more when i have sugar has evaporated. literally overnight but it is early days. i also am trialing sodium asorbate too. i read some old medical article once from like the 1930s which was talking about diptheria and they were talking about diseases of the adrenals and vitamin C helping. so i figure give it a go for a month see where it goes.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by seaweed View Post
                      it is much easier to self medicate with food than anything else as we need it to live. which is why i think it is so hard to fix. not like being a drug addict as you can live the rest of your life without drugs. not food. unravelling the underlying issues. especially the propensity to check out is mind boggling. i mean we have almost half a century of doing it and coping mechanisms and behavioural patterns to deal with it that it is like peeling an onion. always a different layer underneath
                      Amen .

                      As a kid I read books to check out. I didn't start with the sugar and overeating until I was in my teens and had quite a bit of trauma going on - that's when it all started, when I left school. Maybe I was safe there. Haha, maybe that's why I went back to get my degrees!!

                      I have a friend who has 'schizophrenia' - I put it in inverted commas because it's not something that actually exists. Anyway, she hears voices. They developed because she believes deep down that the world isn't a safe place for her, so the voices kept her in her house for years. She went through a healing stage where she actually talked to them (and they talked back!) about why they were with her. I think I'm doing something similar with the eating and the other checking out activities. If I assume that I do these things for a reason, what is it?? And what would happen if I didn't check out?? And what skills do I have to learn so I can stop doing it??

                      I'm also reading a student's work where she's talking about how we are positioned to believe certain things and behave in certain ways. It's kind of scary to think that my thoughts and behaviours actually aren't mine at all, they're products of my history and environment.

                      First things first - protein and vitamin B. I need energy to think about this shit
                      Started Feb 18 2011

                      Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                      Journalling here

                      Comment


                      • Wow, eating as a way of "checking out" very profound and true for me. I'll have to do some thinking on this one.
                        I am am in the middle trying to get off sugar again after a week of binging set off by allowing certain things at Thanksgiving.
                        When will I learn?
                        Primal since 9/24/2010
                        "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                        Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                        MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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                        • Originally posted by Pebbles67 View Post
                          I am am in the middle trying to get off sugar again after a week of binging set off by allowing certain things at Thanksgiving.
                          When will I learn?
                          Haha, I could so have written that! Well, not the Thanksgiving part, but any time I have any sugar for any reason it's inevitably going to be painful and need lots of focus to get off it again.

                          It's been a pretty good weekend.

                          Hunger: appropriate. I've dialled back the protein a bit because I don't really want to go from always hungry on sugar to always feeling mildly ill on heaps of protein. I like feeling hungry - it's one of the joys of life that I'm trying to connect to
                          Energy: improving. I did some garden/pool maintenance stuff, went shopping, put the Xmas tree up - and laughed while I did it.
                          Cravings: Absolutely. None.
                          Movement: as above. No formal walking or exercises but I kept moving
                          Play: Hmmm. I didn't even try. I got some enjoyment out of life, but could have put some play in there
                          Food: Ate 3 meals a day, focusing on protein. At present I'm quite low carb - nothing starchy and minimal fruit. That will change any day now, I'm sure, and I'll go with it. No sugar at all from Friday evening, but had some very nice icecream on Friday afternoon.
                          Protein intake: probably around 80 - 100g, including dairy. Lots of eggs
                          Sleep: I'm dreaming a lot - that could correlate to more serotonin from the protein. Feeling rested though.
                          Bloat: quite significantly bloated after eating but it goes down after a couple of hours
                          Pain: some niggles - I used neurophen last night
                          Other:I was very checked out on Friday - irritable when I was interrupted. I was on my own Friday night until mid-morning Saturday. Honestly I could have done with another day of quiet. I stayed sad and grumpy til Sunday morning, then seemed to pick up mood-wise. No checking out at all last night, and feeling OK so far today. I'm still trying to recognise my triggers, which is bloody hard from the inside
                          Last edited by Jac; 12-08-2013, 02:11 PM.
                          Started Feb 18 2011

                          Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                          Journalling here

                          Comment


                          • I'm still trying to recognise my triggers, which is bloody hard from the inside
                            nothing is ever simple is it! what really f's me off is the triggers are so text book. exhubby comes to get the kids. makes a comment about my ass being big so i go eat loads of sugar. i am not stupid. who is continuing to win in this situation?!!

                            you have edited since i read the above. i was going to suggest lean protein in large qtys to counteract the sugar binge. i have been finding it helps if i fall down the hole. good example saturday. had to go to lunch with the exhuband. thankfully i managed to leave one of the kids at her best friends so she didnt have to deal with it. hugely hugely stressful. i couldnt even enjoy lunch. on the way home me and the remaining child stopped in the supermarket. they were doing free samples of bundaberg. got conned into trying some. literally prob a shot glass of pure sugar. it was sickly. not even pleasantly sweet like chocolate. fell down the hole. a combo of too much stress, too many traumatic memories and pure sugar. next day. got up had a huge omlette and stacks of venison. and clawed my way back out of the hole. i am sure if i hadnt of added the venison, it would have spiralled out again. not prepared to retest the theory so i am going with it for now! i am currently still winning today. upside is if i fall down the sugar hole momentarily then protein myself out, i have large amounts of energy the following day.

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                            • You're exactly right, seaweed - protein really helps to get over the sugar. I did it deliberately this time, and the cravings just vanished. Stress is my #1 trigger, it is now totally obvious. I read a paper yesterday that highlighted that a body under stress does not digest food. That's really helpful to know, and I should have it stapled to my forehead . Summary for now - prioritise protein over all other foods, don't eat when stressed, and avoid gluten like the plague.

                              Hunger: hungry in the morning, and again later in the evening
                              Energy: really good. I got heaps of work done, but should have moved more
                              Cravings: Absolutely. None.
                              Movement: minimal. This has to change
                              Play: watched QI last night and laughed like a lunatic. Got lots of fun out of playing with the dogs
                              Food: I had a 3 egg omlet for breakfast, and added salad and dressing to it - was totally stuffed to the point of not even wanting fluids until about 7pm. 4 chicken drumsticks for dinner
                              Protein intake: probably around 100g
                              Sleep: disturbed again. Dreams.
                              Bloat: I'm going to the dr again on Thursday for a progress check up, so will ask him about the bloating after I eat. It's major.
                              Pain: minimal - what there was was related to overeating at breakfast time. I still seem to have a really sensitive gut when it comes to overextending via overeating (and it wasn't all that much, really) or gas. They HURT.
                              Other: I'm down to 92kg. The lowest I've been this year is 88.3, after ketosis in Feb (the highest was about 99kg in late winter). I felt great then, but my mood tanked. Watch this space . If it drops again I'll be hitting the kumara. But if the healing protocol of the last few months has worked, it'll be a whole new ballgame. Right now I'm feeling happy

                              Edited to add that there was very minimal checking out last night, and I was able to recognise it and put the computer away. It was tempting, though, because I got confirmation of a successful grant application yesterday - which is wonderful and very scary at the same time. I have no idea how I'll cope with my workload next year, so I need to take some time to plan it before I go back. I need to be more chillaxed than this, though, before my problem solving skills kick in, lol.
                              Last edited by Jac; 12-09-2013, 03:39 PM.
                              Started Feb 18 2011

                              Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                              Journalling here

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                              • Yesterday . . .

                                Hunger: Not very hungry, but decided to eat anyway. It kind of backfired on me
                                Energy: pretty steady across the whole day
                                Cravings: None - the icecream came from a different place
                                Movement: minimal. This still has to change
                                Play: I went and visited our new greyhound at the kennels yesterday. She's been vet checked and assessed for small dog and cat safety and came through with flying colours. She's off to get the snip today, and we should be able to pick her up later this week
                                . She's a bit shy but not pathological about it, and looks like she could be quite cheeky. I also brought home a couple of old stuffed toys from the op shop for the other dogs, and they've made me laugh with their happiness. Weird that dogs who have never had a toy in their lives just love carrying around teddies!
                                Food: 3 chicken drumsticks and coffee @ 10am, a pottle of mussels @ 3.30, 2 scoops of icecream @ 5pm, sushi and diet lemonade @ 7pm
                                Protein intake: probably high enough
                                Sleep: I tried chelated magnesium and slept like I was drugged. I'll try it again in a couple of nights and see if that's what it was. The prep I have from the dr has lots of other things in it apart from mag
                                Bloat: still there. Sigh.
                                Pain: I didn't overeat, but my belly hurts. It started last evening - not enough to take meds, and it didn't disturb my sleep, but it's not comfortable at all. Just like tiny needles randomly shoved into me. I wonder if it's the mussels. Normally I would suspect the rice, but when I was on the very restrictive diet I had some fresh mussels that definitely caused some problems. These were brined. Dunno. Or it's just a continuation from yesterday's overeating. Or it's the rice. Or the icecream. But I've had all those foods without issues recently, except for the mussels.
                                Other: time to think about the icecream. Now that I'm actually thinking about it, it was a checking out thing. I'd gotten stressed - the whole day was kind of weird, with underlying stuff I didn't acknowledge, then I spent too long at the kennels, was late picking T up from work etc etc etc. No drama, just constant niggles. By the time I got to the shopping centre I already knew I was going to get icecream. It was a self-soothing thing. And last night I justified it as an 'I'm going to enjoy my trip out' thing. It wasn't. It gave me about 10 minutes of total self soothing, of switching off my brain. Afterwards I felt more settled. I could have done something else instead - but I'm not sure what.
                                Started Feb 18 2011

                                Tried basic primal and almost everything else in pursuit of IBS control, mood stability, and weight loss.

                                Journalling here

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