Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Primal derailed...and back

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Primal derailed...and back

    I might have a journal somewhere else, but I'm too lazy to look it up. Anyway, this is a new beginning; a reboot of sorts with Primal living. A few major changes since I first stumbled upon Paleo/Primal back in July 2012:

    *Death of step-mother in October 2012 and hospice care took its' toll on us which led to plenty of late night meals from kind friends and neighbors. Of course, not Paleo friendly.

    *At the same time, I developed pelvic organ prolapse. THAT was a shocker. Never heard of it, really. Chronic constipation, birthing 3 kids and lifting heavy stuff led to it. I will not have surgery (too high of a failure rate) so I must readjust my lifestyle.

    *Started working again after 15 years! Not going back to my profession (law enforcement and victim advocacy), but instead an AWESOME job as a cashier at my local food co-op where I have been an owner since moving here (Milwaukee, WI) 9 years ago. I love it, plus the 15% employee/owner discount helps offset the cost. Only part time, but perfect for me since all 3 kids are still at home. My oldest now drives, so that makes it possible for me to work.

    *Relationship of 27 years (19 married) is falling apart. We are working on it, but it will be slow and perhaps will end in divorce. I am married to an MD which has been tough. I'm at the point where I have had to be so independent over the years that I grew apart from him. I feel badly that I am distant and no longer present in our marriage despite the fact that he is working hard to change his behavior. Therapist tells me it might take a few years and I think she is correct. If my husband has the patience to wait I think we can figure this out. SO stressful!

    So, I found sugar (again), and my 80/20 Paleo eating meant that 20% was entirely composed of chocolate. I was still thin, but I was having trouble sleeping and started having hot flashes (menopause?) up to 24 times a day. Between November-now I've done no lifting or running so my body is soft. I have been able to use the elliptical but I fell back into chronic cardio. Hurt my foot from overuse of Vibram shoes so now I've really been sidelined for 2.5 weeks as it heals.

    I did do a 60 day stint over at Whole30. While it greatly helped me with my sugar habit and made my hot flashes disappear, I was unhappy with the level of restriction and rigid inability to individualize the plan, so I am back!

    Keeping a daily log of my eating and activity for accountability reasons. Also hoping that, if anyone reads what I write, they will pop in for support or suggestions.

    Breakfast: 9:45am

    I find that IF works for me. I typically eat at 6PM and then not again until 10am or later. If I am super hungry I will eat earlier. My morning cup of Crio Bru with full fat coconut milk is technically a break, so I guess I do "eat" at 6-7am; no meal until later.

    *2/3 c raw rolled oats, agave sweetened gluten-free granola, raisins with 1T coconut oil ghee to satiate me.
    *1" energy greens chunk from co-op (a little agave in it but otherwise date based)

    I struggle with eating non-stop for a few hours once I start eating. Since I have a family and we eat meals together, I cannot eat all of my calories between 10-2 and then not eat again. Family meals are really important since we don't spend a lot of time together with busy teen and husband schedules.

    Off to work!

    Snack: 2pm

    Gingerade kombucha (no added sugar)
    banana

    Dinner: 5:15pm

    *Huge sweet potato with 4c wilted spinach. Topped it with cinnamon, sea salt and 1T ghee
    *1" energy greens chunk from co-op

    I do better with some vegetarian days thrown into my routine. Tomorrow I have off so I'll eat a big old hunk of animal protein in the afternoon so I have time digest it before bed. I'm breaking out the bacon again tomorrow! I tend to use it as a protein source and not a condiment because I love it so. I need to be careful about that one.

    I know I'm not eating enough. I just don't feel hungry with being so inactive. This week I am going back to some type of cardio and I hope my toes tolerate it. I won't be wearing the Vibrams quite yet. I need a harder sole to finish the healing. I had to borrow my daughter's running shoes since Dansko clogs aren't going to be great for cardio. hah

    Snack: 8:30pm

    Popped a chunk of Cookie dough into my mouth without thinking. Swallowed it, too! Ah, well. If I were Whole30ing it I'd be putting my tail between my legs and starting over. Instead, I'm fine with lumping my day into a 98/02 category and moving onward.
    Last edited by PHaselow; 07-08-2013, 07:06 PM.
    sigpic
    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

  • #2
    Another day, another day

    Woke up around 5:30 am to get the dog ready for spay day. She is supposed to be adopted on Thursday (I foster), and her hips are looking funky so we need an OK from vet before family is willing to move forward. On pins and needles.

    Crio bru; lots of it.

    Was supposed to meet a girlfriend at a nice restaurant but she stood me up. It was 10am before I left, and 10:30 before I got to The Vitamin Shoppe to pick up some turmeric. I fell for a crappy protein bar. Should not have done it. It tasted bad, and started a cascade of eating to forget the taste.

    Breakfast 10:30am-11:30am

    Icky protein bar
    handful chai yogurt covered almonds
    several slices salami and cheese
    1c meusli with raw oats, Steve's Paleo crunch, sesame seeds, raisins, cinnamon, sea salt
    2T coconut oil ghee

    ugh. I am full now. I guess that will hold me for the rest of the day until dinner!

    Took 1.2g fish oil, 1 turmeric cap, coQ10, Bcomplex. Feeling like I need some supplement help for a bit. Inflammation

    Woah. I ate an entire container of Steve's Paleo Crunch cereal today. Why is it that I cannot go low carb past the 14 day mark without a binge day? I am so very full. Big carb day.

    I guess I load up on protein these days? I'm just not sure how to interpret what I am craving. Do I eat high carb and just be OK with it or do I play around and try to stay low carb?

    Just ate a few chunks of bacon at 7pm; maybe 3oz. I kind of wish I had not done that (feeling nauseous), but I wish I had eaten it 3 hours ago! Might have stopped the carb binge.

    Onward to tomorrow. I learned there can be too much bacon in my belly. blech
    Last edited by PHaselow; 07-09-2013, 05:20 PM.
    sigpic
    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

    Comment


    • #3
      Friday!

      Waking up with my Crio Bru and full fat coconut milk. I dropped and broke my Bon Jour frother a few days ago which meant no emulsifying for a few days. I actually upgraded my Amazon.com credit card so I could get a new frother in 2 days. Sucker. Hopefully I can really cancel it after 30 days without being inundated with crap. Still, it seems worth it today.

      I am upping my fat intake for this month to see if I can get past my habitual 'bad day' that I experience every 14-16 days. It has happened for the past year: do well for 2 weeks and then wake up wanting to eat all pre-Primal garbage. It is like clock work. I used to think it was coincidental that I was extra tired each of those mornings, but now I wonder. It isn't really a carb craving, although that seems to be what I go for. Probably mostly because crappy food is carb laden more than really craving the carbs. If it happens again in 10 days, I will opt for a 16 oz rib eye and see what happens! Or a few ounces of bacon.

      I'm thinking about weighing myself. I haven't done so in 6 months. I am probably around the same weight, but less muscle since I haven't been working out at all for the past 4 weeks because of a foot injury (and had to quit my cross fit permanently due to pelvic organ injury 6 months prior to that; tough winter for this girl!). Now I go on vacation for a week with the family. I really want to get back to the gym or on my bike. My plan is to do that when we get home.

      Bacon and 1 small kohlrabi for breakfast.
      Last edited by PHaselow; 07-12-2013, 08:27 AM.
      sigpic
      Age 48
      Start date: 7-5-12
      5'3"
      121lbs
      GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


      "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
      Henri Frederic Amiel

      Comment


      • #4
        Up early for the Farmer's Market

        My husband wants to buy some goat. I think I'll need to talk to the lady to see what she feeds them. Doesn't sound very clean...

        No goat.

        Crio bru with coconut milk.
        2 slices thick cut bacon
        2" chunk 'energy' bar (date based) with greens from co-op

        More snacking. In response to tough discussion with my husband. I'm so predictable! I wish I could get rid of the emotional eating. Working on a rocky marriage is so stressful. He loses his appetite. I eat for both of us. We will need to get divorced once he reaches anorexia state and I'm obese.

        1/2c flax based granola
        1/4 c honey toasted almonds
        1 bite lemon poppy seed muffin

        Stopped myself at the muffin. Gluten muffin. I know I would have just kept going and going had I reached the point where I rationalized the muffin going down the gullet.

        Crazy day at work. Only able to eat a pear, banana and 1 bottle of Gingerade Kombucha (no added sugar). I was hoping it would be extra alcoholic, but alas... no.

        I just got home at 10pm and I really don't want to eat. I'm not going to.

        Tomorrow will be a short ribs day! Get some fat and protein into this body.

        A little ticked off that my foot continues to ache when I wear Vibrams for a period of time. I probably should not have worn them for 7 hours straight the first day back in them. Foolish. Now the pain has moved from the 2/3 toes to the 3/4 toes. Progress? Hah
        Last edited by PHaselow; 07-13-2013, 08:19 PM.
        sigpic
        Age 48
        Start date: 7-5-12
        5'3"
        121lbs
        GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


        "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
        Henri Frederic Amiel

        Comment


        • #5
          I just stumbled by.

          If it's of any help at all you might like to read that 5 Love Languages book. Just google, I know you can get it on Amazon and since you just upped the Amazon account, well...

          Good luck with everything...
          Breathe. Move forward.

          I just eat what I want...

          Comment


          • #6
            Thanks for being so honest. I am a Life Coach and have spend hundreds of hours with couples who have broken marriages. YES it can work, but you both need to ask this question: "DO YOU WANT IT TO WORK"? If so it can if you are both committed to put in the work.

            Can I suggest that you get 2 copies of: "The Seven Principles For Making A Marriage Work" by John M Gottman. Read them and discuss what you are learning and what changes you are personally going to make.

            Terry

            Amazon.com: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (9780609805794): John M. Gottman, Nan Silver: Books
            "The problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other peoples money"

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by excursivey View Post
              I just stumbled by.

              If it's of any help at all you might like to read that 5 Love Languages book. Just google, I know you can get it on Amazon and since you just upped the Amazon account, well...

              Good luck with everything...
              We have the book around here somewhere... I know his love languages. I've never quite figured out mine.
              sigpic
              Age 48
              Start date: 7-5-12
              5'3"
              121lbs
              GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


              "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
              Henri Frederic Amiel

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by evotell View Post
                Thanks for being so honest. I am a Life Coach and have spend hundreds of hours with couples who have broken marriages. YES it can work, but you both need to ask this question: "DO YOU WANT IT TO WORK"? If so it can if you are both committed to put in the work.

                Can I suggest that you get 2 copies of: "The Seven Principles For Making A Marriage Work" by John M Gottman. Read them and discuss what you are learning and what changes you are personally going to make.

                Terry

                Amazon.com: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (9780609805794): John M. Gottman, Nan Silver: Books
                Thanks for the interest in my marriage! 27 years together; 19 of them married. We should have done this hard work two decades ago, but instead put band aid after band aid on the problem resulting in a vicious cycle of crisis. This, I decided, is our last chance.

                I am just at the point where I can say I DO want it to work. Recent development. Before that, I was just scared of not being married and not being with him because it has been the two of us since age 20. He is trying. I am trying. We are just not always able to recognize the other's efforts because we are clouded by expectations. Rough road in the first year of hard work.
                sigpic
                Age 48
                Start date: 7-5-12
                5'3"
                121lbs
                GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                Henri Frederic Amiel

                Comment


                • #9
                  Any therapist who told you it will take years to get your marriage restored is incorrect. Start by siting down with each other and telling 2 stories that attracted you to each other.

                  Good luck, GET THE BOOK.
                  "The problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other peoples money"

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You've gone through so much in such a short time. Coming back to Primal and getting a new job that you like are awesome ways to find new focus. I got nothin' on relationships because I suck at them.

                    Welcome back and good luck!
                    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                    B*tch-lite

                    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by evotell View Post
                      Any therapist who told you it will take years to get your marriage restored is incorrect. Start by siting down with each other and telling 2 stories that attracted you to each other.

                      Good luck, GET THE BOOK.
                      Will do.
                      sigpic
                      Age 48
                      Start date: 7-5-12
                      5'3"
                      121lbs
                      GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                      "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                      Henri Frederic Amiel

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Good Sunday morning!

                        Stayed in bed longer than normal. Husband went fishing at 4am and I don't even remember him leaving. I rarely sleep that soundly these days.

                        Crio Bru and full fat coconut milk when I got up. Ran some errands so waited to eat breakfast until 10:30am

                        *3oz filet mignon
                        *Big bed of wilted spinach with 1T coconut oil ghee
                        *Maybe 1T raisins
                        *1oz parmesan cheese
                        *2T toasted almonds
                        *2 pcs salmon sushi

                        All of the above (except sushi) made into big salad. It was VERY good. I'm hoping the fat will keep me full until dinner. I am headed to a local Catholic school festival and all they have there to eat is carnival crap. Beautiful day to hang out with a bazillion sugared up kids.

                        *Had to eat 2T Yumbutter almond butter after I replied to someone's post asking for good almond butter. So suggestive!
                        *4, 1" chunks green energy bites (date based with spirulina, nuts and other stuff)

                        http://www.yumbutter.com/

                        Talked the 12 yr old munchkin into walking the 1.5 miles to the fair. It was hot. Poor guy isn't very conditioned. The Autism and the lack of socializing (plus low tone and muscle mass) work against him. Partially our fault for letting him stay sedentary as he chooses, but there is some underlying medical issue too. Makes me angry for him; what was taken. Still, the walk was nice for me. It was the longest I had used my feet for 4 weeks other than standing for 6 hours at work since I injured the toes. Feet feel good wearing Teva sandals. Fair was, well, a Catholic festival. Bad music, cheap beer and snow cones all very easy to resist.

                        *1/2 kabocha squash with ghee/salt/cinnamon (2.5 c squash)
                        * few ounces chicken

                        Carbs! With fat.
                        Last edited by PHaselow; 07-14-2013, 03:32 PM.
                        sigpic
                        Age 48
                        Start date: 7-5-12
                        5'3"
                        121lbs
                        GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                        "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                        Henri Frederic Amiel

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Good luck with everything! Your honesty and commitment to change is both very moving and extremely inspirational. I sincerely hope that this long road you are on eases up and turns into a loving and delightful journey. Best wishes,

                          Joapple

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Road Trip!

                            Packing for a trip to Ocean City, MD. Leaving tomorrow morning at 3am with the family. All 5 of us, adult size, stuffed into a Toyota 4 Runner for 954 miles. They might be teenagers, but the kids still act like they are toddlers when sandwiched together. This is where I find out if Primal Living has given me more patience and resilience!

                            Eating will be pretty easy for me this week. I'm really not the person that succumbs to social eating. My issue is when I am alone at home. I'm sure not a fan of Atlantic fish, but I'll avoid the salmon. Crabbing and deep sea fishing for a few days with a trip to the boardwalk for Thrashers fries and a few amusement park rides is good for the soul.

                            Crio bru this morning to wake me up and (hopefully) clean me out! I get constipated EVERY time I travel. It is always worse when I fly. I literally stop "moving" once I wake up the morning of the trip and don't get back to myself until the morning we get back. So frustrating. Even the heavy duty OTC remedies don't help. I have to overload myself to the point of cramps and diarrhea if I want to go. I don't get it. I drink plenty and eat fine while traveling. I must stress myself into constipation or something. So, I'm not looking forward to that portion of the trip. With the pelvic organ prolapse I really need to stay regular. This is my first trip since developing that problem in October 2012.

                            Ugh. Waited too long to eat breakfast. I went to the chiropractor, and ran errands afterwards instead of coming back home to eat. Mistake.

                            *big bowl spinach, wilted with 1T coconut oil ghee and salt
                            *1c kabocha squash with cinnamon/ghee
                            *1/4 c raisins
                            *2, 1" chunks energy bites
                            *1/4 gluten free pancake

                            Cleaning out the fridge before our trip. Tonight we eat elk rib eyes from the Farmer's Market with the rest of the spinach.

                            *2oz 70% dark chocolate
                            *(large) handful of Giddy up and Go Granola. Really good, organic, gluten free, vegan stuff.

                            I'm going to ask my employer if they can carry it for a short time to see if it sells.

                            That is the most chocolate I have eaten in one sitting since the end of April! Although I absolutely love it, I can honestly say that 2 oz is way more than enough for me now. I hope that feeling stays. I think that is what dark chocolate is SUPPOSED to do. Satisfy. Almost too satisfying. I feel a little 'uck'

                            *6 oz elk ribeye
                            *baby spinach, blueberry, parmesan salad without dressing
                            Last edited by PHaselow; 07-15-2013, 04:42 PM.
                            sigpic
                            Age 48
                            Start date: 7-5-12
                            5'3"
                            121lbs
                            GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                            "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                            Henri Frederic Amiel

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Back again. The months of July and August were stress filled, busy and often even fun. I somehow fell back to eating sugar more than I wanted to and my eating habits derailed again. I've learned so much but now need to somehow make how I feel more important than the short term enjoyment of what I put in my mouth. Nothing horrendous, really... I don't eat processed food, fast food, soda, (much) gluten but I've opted for the easy to eat foods which usually means low on veggies unless they are in prepared salads from the co-op deli where I work. I would often 'treat' myself to handfuls of chocolate covered ginger or almonds on the drive home from work which ALWAYS triggers overeating once I get home. Always.

                              Refrigerator is stocked with vegetables and lean meats. Avocados on the counter top and my order of Arroy-D coconut milk came in from Amazon.com yesterday.

                              I found a picture on my iPhone that I took a year ago. I am in my shorts and a sports bra, standing in front of the mirror. I think I used it when I first joined this forum. I look at it, and see my belly this year is much bigger. Ouch. Since it isn't about the actual weight (I probably weigh 3-5lbs more now) but more about the food I am hopeful to get back there. Funny that this picture was my 'before' shot for PB. I had just returned from a Western States road trip where I had eaten mostly grass fed elk and beef and vegetables and I noticed how energetic I felt and how much flatter my belly had been. I hope it takes the same 2 weeks to get back to that 'before' feeling!

                              How do people stick with Paleo long term? I need to figure out my reasons for being unable to stick with it. I know I have long standing issues with food. I hate that term but it is true. I turn to food for comfort and pleasure and the choices are often poor. I don't want to just start making Primal treats to eat in substitution for conventional eats. Blech.

                              Well, here i go again.
                              sigpic
                              Age 48
                              Start date: 7-5-12
                              5'3"
                              121lbs
                              GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


                              "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
                              Henri Frederic Amiel

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X