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  • My biggest pet peeve? Abbreviations. Say parmesan, not parm. Siberian husky, not sibe.
    Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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    • Driedmango, maybe you wanted to binge cause you only ate 1100 calories on such an active day!! You should eat more! (annoying repetitive background voice)

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      • Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
        My biggest pet peeve? Abbreviations. Say parmesan, not parm. Siberian husky, not sibe.
        ohemgee I totes agree. B-T-Dubs... please don't hurt me

        My biggest pet peeve is when people ask me what my biggest pet peeve is. No, I'm kidding, but I've honestly never been able to answer this question because I really don't think about these things or get irritated with people very often. I would say people being inconsiderate. That's probably the only thing that ever truly frustrates me about human behavior.

        Mangs, it is really easy to under eat when you're on vacation so please listen to your body when it tells you to eat. You are not wanting to "binge," your body is just trying to tell you it needs food! Please don't confuse the two.

        P.S. I said "Mangs" just to piss Honey off but I kind of like it so it's sticking.
        Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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        • Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
          My biggest pet peeve? Abbreviations. Say parmesan, not parm. Siberian husky, not sibe.
          Originally posted by ombat View Post
          ohemgee I totes agree. B-T-Dubs... please don't hurt me

          My biggest pet peeve is when people ask me what my biggest pet peeve is. No, I'm kidding, but I've honestly never been able to answer this question because I really don't think about these things or get irritated with people very often. I would say people being inconsiderate. That's probably the only thing that ever truly frustrates me about human behavior.

          Mangs, it is really easy to under eat when you're on vacation so please listen to your body when it tells you to eat. You are not wanting to "binge," your body is just trying to tell you it needs food! Please don't confuse the two.

          P.S. I said "Mangs" just to piss Honey off but I kind of like it so it's sticking.
          Originally posted by CiKi90
          I second what max said. You're working out more than I am, and eating less than I am. You're on vacation, relax! RELAAAX! >:O lol. If you had a binge-y feeling, then why didn't you eat more food? You're really not doing yourself any favors by not eating when you are actually hungry you know. But now I feel like I'm always nagging you, and I feel like a hypocrite! But I'm only telling you these things because I know how it goes and I don't want you to do the same thing as me. <3

          QOTD: (I'm kind of giggling at honeybuns pet peeve because I'm abbreviating Question of the Day! Sorry, not trying to irritate you honeybuns!) My biggest pet peeve. Let's see, I think it's when people are flaky or dishonest about what they are truly feeling. I absolutely cannot stand when someone agrees to do something with me, and then ignores me when it's time to go do it because they actually didn't want to do so in the first place. Like the other day, when we invited our friends to go walk with us to the bridge to see fireworks, but when the time came around to leave for the show, they ignored the phonecall and ruined our whole night! Ugh, I think I would prefer someone to just tell me they hate my stupid guts to my face, than to ruin my night by pretending to want to hang out, lol.
          Originally posted by max219 View Post
          Driedmango, maybe you wanted to binge cause you only ate 1100 calories on such an active day!! You should eat more! (annoying repetitive background voice)
          Haha I actually really dislike the abbreviation of stuff like that too. I get stuff like "QOTD" but oh my god, when someone says "totes" in front of me, my brain kind of just glitches and goes like "WHY, WHY, WHY".

          Ci, that's definitely annoying, and I think it ties in with Om's thing about people being inconsiderate. I would much rather someone tell me they don't wanna do something too.

          Max, Om and Ci, about the "bingey feeling": when I felt it, it wasn't actually hunger, because I was full from the frozen yogurt I'd just had. I know my calories were low, but at the time of the feeling itself, I was pretty stuffed. Buuuuuuut, I absolutely 100% binged today. I'm super embarrassed, but since this is my journal, and I want to be honest, I prooobably had like 3500+ calories today. And I didn't do any exercise. I feel like such a garbage disposal!

          P.S. I like Mangs, haha. I'm gonna go ahead and share this sad little sentence that popped in my head: YESSS, finally an MDA forum nickname.
          Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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          • I forgot to post yesterday, so I'll post both today's and yesterday's.

            Sunday, 7th July 2013

            Sleep:

            Errrr I think 5.30 - 14.45 (I don't ever sleep in that late, no matter how late I go to bed, so it was odd)

            Exercise:
            1) Walking
            ~2 hours
            ~7 miles
            2) Fitness Blender
            Fat Blasting Total Body Strength and Toning Workout - Fitness Blender

            Food:
            Meal One: Chicken Salad + Yogurt + Cherries
            Meal Two: Sushi again!
            Meal Three: Froyo again toooo
            Calories: ~1200

            Monday, 8th July 2013

            Sleep:
            5.00 - 11.45

            Exercise:
            Nothing yet, but I might do a FB video later and/or walk. All the crap I ate drained my energy.

            Food:
            Absolutely everrrything. Even Mcdonald's and donuts and stuff. It was definitely a full blown binge day. Like 3500+ calories. I feel really bad about it now. I feel like I keep shooting myself in the foot with this bingeing stuff, and I don't mean to eat so little on other days, but I eat stuff that just kind of doesn't make me hungry.
            Buuut I'm trying to learn from things like this, and I've realized that stuff like donuts or crazy processed sugary crap just starts a sugar craving cycle with me, and I just can't seem to stop it. And when I think "oh I've already gotten to 1200 calories, and my maintenance is 1500ish, I've only gotten 300 left for the day" and I kind of panic and then break down and let the binge get out of control. Not gooood. I'm really hoping to use this holiday to relax but still kind of "grow", if that makes any sense.
            And I so desperately want to see progress in my body *sigh*. I'm such a broken record!

            Question Of The Day
            How do you get yourself out of a vicious cycle? (In case it wasn't obvious enough, I'm looking for advice about my bingeing thing, and how to get past it and really make some progress and reach my goals )

            BONUS QUESTION (woo exciting!!) : For anyone who takes gelatine, have you noticed any really obvious changes/improvements from it? I'm thinking of starting, and wondering what to expect. And how do you take it?
            Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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            • Just for the record, acronyms are fine.......unless you are answering phones for a business. If I am calling Trans Global Express for the first time, am I going to think I have the right place if the receptionist answers the phone TGE? Nope. I am gonna think I screwed up.

              Mangs works for me.
              Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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              • Originally posted by Driedmango View Post
                P.S. I like Mangs, haha. I'm gonna go ahead and share this sad little sentence that popped in my head: YESSS, finally an MDA forum nickname.
                It's a rite of passage.

                If you want practical advice on your binging, what did it for me was eating adequate calories daily (I'm lookin at you, Mangs) and eating plenty of sugar and fruit. n=1, but I realized that my "binging" wasn't psychological... I just wasn't getting enough nutrients. D'oy.

                Bonus question: It helps my digestion... I think.
                Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

                Comment


                • Thursday, 11th July 2013

                  Day One Of My Little Experiment

                  Ahh i've felt so crappy over the past few days, so I haven't gotten around to posting . And i'll reply to posts on here ASAP (i don't have access to a pc so i'm just using my phone).

                  The experiment: Can eating fully primal for 2-3 weeks make me feel less sick?
                  1) The day after my binge, the area right under my breast bone (where the GORD usually hurts) had this constant dull ache, and I kept vomiting in my mouth (little bits of vomit - which I read on a GORD thread is pretty common after eating non-primal or bingeing). Aaand i had difficulty breathing.
                  2) Everyday since I got here, I've woken up feeling like crap. Sore throat, stuffy or runny nose, suuuper dry and just generally uncomfortable. Usually it would subside as the day progressed, but now it seems to be sticking, and my earaches are coming back.
                  3) I've gotten this weird break out on my cheeks (and i've never gotten one like this).
                  So! I'm going to try to eat 100% clean for the next few weeks and see if it helps any of those things.

                  Sleep
                  I napped at different points throughout the day but I didn't get any sleep last night.

                  Exercise
                  No actual exercise today, or any day till the 14th. We're at some fancy schmancy hotel, and although they have a gym (and I can work out in the rooms obviously), i thought it'd do me good to take a break. And because i know i'd have difficulty not exercising, i intentionally didn't bring any clothes I can exercise in.

                  Food
                  We went to a buffet today, and I didn't really eat much (buffets frazzle me) - I had a small piece of seabass fillet, a little bit of roast chicken and some butter chicken. I also had watermelon, cantaloupe and pineapple slices. Aaand i tried a triangle of ashawan cheese. It tasted a lot like mozzarella to me (but not to anyone else), which I love!
                  Aside from that, i ate lots and lots of dates and a few walnuts.
                  Craving: Pancakes!
                  Calories: ~1000-1100. Not sure.

                  Thoughts and Stuff
                  WARNIIING: BM talk!
                  So i hadn't had any BMs for the past few days at least, but today after dinner, my stomach started hurting like crazy, andddd well, I think it was compensating for being backed up. Not sure what triggered it though.
                  Last night i was feeling pretty down in the dumps about everything, and wondering how i let the whole ED thing get so far. I still don't really get how it escalated so much. Sometimes i get really optimistic and i think 'today will be the last day - i wont let this control my life anymore' and others it's just like 'wow this is neverrr going to end - am i going to be like this ten years from now?'
                  I really feel like i need some big change or something drastic to happen to just snap me away from all this obsessive stuff.

                  Question Of The Day
                  How do you distract yourself when you feel yourself begin to fall into the whirlpool of obsession or negativity?
                  Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by ombat View Post
                    It's a rite of passage.

                    If you want practical advice on your binging, what did it for me was eating adequate calories daily (I'm lookin at you, Mangs) and eating plenty of sugar and fruit. n=1, but I realized that my "binging" wasn't psychological... I just wasn't getting enough nutrients. D'oy.

                    Bonus question: It helps my digestion... I think.
                    I'm thinking that might be partially (a huge part) my issue. I just can't help but panic if i feel like i'm eating too many calories though. I actually almost ended my day at like 800 cals today, then I remembered what you said and had more dates (always room for dates!)

                    My digestion is pretty crappy, so it would be really good if it actually helps.
                    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by CiKi90
                      I hate to say this, but really, there is no "big change" that is going to happen. You are not going to just snap out of it and be normal around food again, instantly. It just simply doesn't work that way, unless you are some kind of exception to the rule. But, that doesn't mean that being normal again is a hopeless pursuit. What will happen is that over time, with adamant work toward letting go of your obsessions and hang-ups around food, nutrition, body image, and everything that comes with it, you will slowly let things go, one by one. For me, a catalyst of things happened that helped me to be where I'm at now. First, my food scale broke, then I got used to just estimating. Then, I got less obsessive over counting calories, and I just estimate those, too. I am working toward not having to plan out my meals obsessively, and the whole planning ahead thing with food is starting to get tedious, honestly. I always thought that I would LOVE counting/weighing/planning and all that stuff, but now that my focus is more toward fitness, stress relief, and just enjoying life more, my thoughts are simply just gravitating toward other stuff. And one day, you'll look back at your obsessive days and think, "wow, I can't believe I used to do that! I was soooo silly!" It just takes time. Don't worry!

                      QOTD: when I am getting into a negative headspace about anything, and it's REALLY bothering me or holding me back, I try to stop and think about why I'm feeling this way. This might seem really weird, but the fact is, is that YOU did not come up with these negative thoughts, but you picked them up from others around you. When there is a nagging voice in your head, telling you that you aren't good enough, or you can't do something, just stop and try to find out who that sounds like in your life. For me, a lot of the negative things that played in my head were coming from my sister. Throughout my life, she was one of the most negative people. And once I found out that it was her influence, I could easily just shut that voice out! I could tell her that she is wrong about her negative way of thinking, and that I know that I can handle anything that's coming my way. Ugh, that sounds so weird and crazy now that I read that back, sorry if that was too "out there" and confusing!
                      I wish I was the exception to the rule! But I think it's more of a 'big change' to just keep me busy or distract me that I had meant. Not necessarily to change my obsessive habits. It feels like it'll be forever before that happens, but i do think that about how I was with my exercise bulimia.
                      I know it would probably help if I stopped restricting, but I'm the heaviest I've been in a long time, and I can't seem to talk myself out of trying to lose fat - I keep thinking 'everyone else can do it, why can't I get the body I want?' It shouldnt, but my body and my weight plays a huge role on me. So although I'm still trying to lose, I'm trying not to let it get like last time.

                      Is it weird that after reading that, I can instantly conjure up every negative thing I've had said to me? And pinpoint the people who put me in this horrible whirlpool lol. Of course, it's my fault too, for letting things get to me.

                      Haha it wasn't too out there or crazy, it made lots of sense. Sorry for going off on a rant in my reply! And thank you for always reading and replying to my journal!
                      Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                      Comment


                      • Saturday, 13th July 2013

                        Sorry for not keeping on top of the journal - it's just really annoying with no computer. I'm going back home tomorrow, so I'll be journaling properly again.
                        I actually fell asleep really early (forced myself to, actually) because the pain I get under my chest bone was really severe and I was having difficulty breathing. I understand that when I binge, but I hadn't binged yesterday, so I don't get it.

                        Anyway, i'll be back to happy journaling tomorrow! And i'll start over with my little primal experiment then (although most of what i've been eating is dates and nuts - i want to have the entire thing 'documented').

                        Can't wait to go home! I've missed exercising - i think i have an exercise addiction, lol. And my dad said he'd go to the sports equipment store with me tomorrow to look at barbells and racks - I've missed heavy lifting sooo much.

                        I hope your day is absolutely brilliant (whoever reads this, that is)

                        ETA: Forgot the question of the day!
                        Question Of The Day
                        What's your favorite type of exercise and what changes do you feel exercise makes on your body (mentally or physically)?
                        Last edited by Driedmango; 07-13-2013, 01:24 PM.
                        Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by CiKi90
                          Ah, that kind of "big change." All I can say, is that you can't wait for something to happen in your life in order to change yourself. You will end up procrastinating your life away when your attitude toward improving your life is, "When THIS happens, theeeennn... everything will be perfect!"

                          I think it's perfectly normal for your body image to play a big role in your life. Everyone cares about what they look like, but go about trying to look good in different ways. I don't really know what you look like (I would love to see you though, so I can help you with your goals and probably help you to realize that you're closer to what you WANT to look like than you think. Also I could really know what you look like for myself instead of relying on your silly skewed view of yourself! lol) but having this balance of loving to exercise and keeping your mental health in check can be one of the hardest things to figure out. You don't want to seem crazy about exercise, you don't want to seem lazy either, and you can't think/talk about it too much for fear of being called an addict or whatever. I know. I get it. It's hard. But ... I really believe that you can find the balance (and so can I!) as long as you work through the emotional barriers that you may have against your body and with exercise. Working out is a tool, not a weapon.

                          I love reading your journal and staying in contact with you! I'm the one who persuaded you to start one up, I'm not just going to leave you high and dry without keeping up! :P

                          QOTD! Exerciiiise. My favorite exercises change all the time. A while ago, I was really into pilates and yoga. Then I got into cardio, running, biking. Now I'm really loving lifting weights and doing HIIT/tabata type stuff. Right now, though, I specifically really enjoy doing lifts that are extra hard for me to accomplish! Whenever I can finally make all of the reps, or finish a whole set without taking breaks, it makes me feel so accomplished. Physically, I get sore, and it makes me happy because I know I'm getting stronger and better than I was yesterday. Mentally, I work out and it gives me this happy sensation, like I'm actually doing something right for myself. It helps everything to seem a little less stressful.
                          I knoww, I need to kick my own ass into action, haha. I probably should get a picture and show you, so i could get an honest perspective instead of my own jaded view. Orrr it would make things awkward if i really am huge and you have to tell me, lol!

                          I think the key would be to completely disassociate exercise and weight loss and just focus on fitness + loving exercise. I think i already seem crazy to some people because of how active i am and how often i talk about exercise - it makes me feel reallyyy awkward sometimes.

                          Haha i'm glad - i'm always like 'what if no one reads it though? Waiiit, Ci's here!' and i perk up again.

                          I'm the same, i used to love cardio, now i'm all about the heavy lifting. I never thought i'd miss the barbell so much!
                          Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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                          • I'm reading your journal too, friend.
                            Make America Great Again

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                            • Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                              I'm reading your journal too, friend.
                              Why thank youuu mr.derp!
                              I'm not too certain why i always feel i have to add mister when addressing you..
                              Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Driedmango View Post
                                Why thank youuu mr.derp!
                                I'm not too certain why i always feel i have to add mister when addressing you..
                                It makes me feel old...
                                Make America Great Again

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