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  • #76
    Friday, 21st June 2013

    Thoughts and Stuff

    So i overate today (probably up to 2500ish calories now - and my stomach feels uncomfortably full. I didn't feel so bad about it till i went to reorganize some old boxes that had letters/notes/writing i'd saved.

    I found the weight log paper thingy i'd kept when i was losing weight before. It just made me feel like crap to see that i'd binged my way to gaining like 15lbs. And here i am, overeating again.

    Uuugh why can't i stay positive for two days in a row? What is it with me and these constant crashes?

    Well. It's safe to say i feel like crap again. Welcome to my pity party!
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

    Comment


    • #77
      Alcohol, noopept, and cigarettes.

      Also, if I were to choose one place it would be between Paris, Tokyo, and the moon.

      One day of eating past satiety won't make a difference, think of it that way. Go into it with a different mindset, eventually you won't bother binging anymore. It's that guilt that drives you each time. Besides, overeating can be healthy too, you know?
      Make America Great Again

      Comment


      • #78
        Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
        Alcohol, noopept, and cigarettes.

        Also, if I were to choose one place it would be between Paris, Tokyo, and the moon.

        One day of eating past satiety won't make a difference, think of it that way. Go into it with a different mindset, eventually you won't bother binging anymore. It's that guilt that drives you each time. Besides, overeating can be healthy too, you know?
        I had to google noopept, lol. I always feel so air-headed when i read your posts on stuff. So smart!

        I went to Paris once, but i was too young to enjoy it. I'd love to go to Tokyo and the moon though, lol.

        Yeah, i know. It just feels like i'm running myself in circles, since i have a day like this each week, and i feel it puts a huge damper on any progress i might make. Sorry to be such a downer!
        Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

        Comment


        • #79
          It's just too much time on my hands.

          There is a striking contrast between Tokyo and Paris for me. One, enriched in history, the other a post-modern monolith. The moon is just beautiful in its isolation and freedom from the restraints of gravity.

          Well, if you've been restricting calories all week, it's likely you're still in a deficit. Don't worry about it!

          Also, if you exercise, you need to eat more, or it's counter-productive and stressful.
          Make America Great Again

          Comment


          • #80
            Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
            It's just too much time on my hands.

            There is a striking contrast between Tokyo and Paris for me. One, enriched in history, the other a post-modern monolith. The moon is just beautiful in its isolation and freedom from the restraints of gravity.

            Well, if you've been restricting calories all week, it's likely you're still in a deficit. Don't worry about it!
            Haha well at least you use the time to enrich your knowledge. I have to say, though, I think your intelligence must rub some people on here the wrong way. You always seem to be getting attacked for absolutely no reason.

            Is there something specific stopping you from going to Tokyo and Paris? Obviously the moon's a bit more difficult, lol.

            Haha i don't know if i'm still in a deficit, but your support actually made me feel lots better. You're completely right! I need to stop letting my negativity get the best of me. It's what leads to the binges anyway.

            Thanks a lot Mr.Derp! (Btw i love your sig )
            Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

            Comment


            • #81
              Originally posted by Driedmango View Post
              I have to say, though, I think your intelligence must rub some people on here the wrong way. You always seem to be getting attacked for absolutely no reason.
              It's cause he loves the sugar and most people on here fear the sugar.

              Also, you are overeating for a reason, your body probably needs the energy, especially after lower calories days. Enjoy the food you overeat!

              Comment


              • #82
                Originally posted by Driedmango View Post
                Haha well at least you use the time to enrich your knowledge. I have to say, though, I think your intelligence must rub some people on here the wrong way. You always seem to be getting attacked for absolutely no reason.

                Is there something specific stopping you from going to Tokyo and Paris? Obviously the moon's a bit more difficult, lol.

                Haha i don't know if i'm still in a deficit, but your support actually made me feel lots better. You're completely right! I need to stop letting my negativity get the best of me. It's what leads to the binges anyway.

                Thanks a lot Mr.Derp! (Btw i love your sig )
                I think it's just the sugar. Also, I take opposite stances on everything so it's easy for people to gang up on me. This forum has a knack for the mob mentality. Probably because they're all roleplaying cavemen.

                Not really, probably just that I think I need money(my biggest setback). I wish that moon settlement thing in the Netherlands took off, I was all ready to sign up.

                Good, and thanks!
                Make America Great Again

                Comment


                • #83
                  Originally posted by CiKi90
                  Didn't I tell you that you should be expecting a big eating day today? It's fine, it's good to eat! Besiiiiides, shouldn't you be happy with your numbers going down today, anyway? Also, I was wondering if you were still doing the weekly counting thing for calories. If you haven't done that yet, maybe it'll surprise you to count that up to see where you're at!

                  AOTD: It depends on how shitty my day has been. If it's a mildly crappy day, sometimes laying out in the sunshine, doing some yoga, singing songs (out of key, no doubt lol), or going window shopping will help to get my mind off of things. If it's a sorta depressing type day, I'll try to write or draw, and it'll help to express my feelings sometimes. But, the worst of the worst days are the hardest to deal with, and most of the time I end up bottling it up and trying to forget about it, or pretend that nothing is wrong at all. :/
                  You did, you did, and I should've listened, lol! And don't bottle stuff up, missy. That's not good for your sanity! I do it too though, so pfft.

                  Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                  I think it's just the sugar. Also, I take opposite stances on everything so it's easy for people to gang up on me. This forum has a knack for the mob mentality. Probably because they're all roleplaying cavemen.

                  Not really, probably just that I think I need money(my biggest setback). I wish that moon settlement thing in the Netherlands took off, I was all ready to sign up.

                  Good, and thanks!
                  Aaah, well I hope you get to go to the moon very very soon! And Tokyo and Paris!

                  Originally posted by max219 View Post
                  It's cause he loves the sugar and most people on here fear the sugar.

                  Also, you are overeating for a reason, your body probably needs the energy, especially after lower calories days. Enjoy the food you overeat!
                  If i had his metabolism, I'd probably like sugar a lot more than I already do . I knowww, and I'll try to keep that in mind instead of freaking out every time I do overeat. I always end up getting so caught up in the guilt that I don't even enjoy it! I might as well enjoy it if I'm going to eat it anyway. Silly me!

                  Thank you all for your support/help again and again
                  Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                  Comment


                  • #84
                    Originally posted by CiKi90
                    I should listen to my own advice, too. I totally had a binge tonight after my bf left. Sucks, feeling lonely AND having a heavy lifting day = major eating.

                    Yeah, I know I shouldn't bottle things up, I'm starting to feel the consequences of doing that. Apparantly, corking up your emotions eventually turns you into a deadpan zombie all day and a cookie monster all night! Errr, zombie cookie monster? =/
                    Cookies are a girls best friend - the best friend that stabs you in the back after >
                    I definitely know what you mean, though. I know you're not confrontational, but you gotta stand up for your own happiness at some point, yunno? Just think what sort of advice you'd give me if i was in your situation.

                    Speaking of lifting! Im trying to figure out a routine for when i'm on holiday since i wont be with my trainer. I just posted one that i found in the fitness section. Hopefully someone will tell me if its crap
                    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                    Comment


                    • #85
                      Saturday, 22nd June 2013

                      Day Seven of Willpower Challenge

                      Sleep

                      4.30 - 13.30

                      Exercise
                      I won't be seeing my trainer till I get back from my holiday, so my brother agreed to come to the gym with me while I tried day one of that routine I posted in the fitness section (I know, I know - everyone said it was way too much. But I just wanted to try it out!).

                      Benchpress: 45/12 - 45/12 - 55/8 - 55/8 - 55/8
                      DB Bent Over Row: 20/12 - 30/12 - 30/12 - 30/12
                      DB Shoulder Press: 20/12 - 30/12 - 30/12 - 30/12
                      DB Lying Tricep Extensions (or Skull Crushers as my brother calls them ): 20/8 - 20/8 - 20/8
                      DB Curls: 20/12 - 20/12 - 20/12
                      30 Incline DB Benchpress: 30/5 - 30/5 - 30/5 - 40/5 - 40/5 - 50/5

                      For all the dumbbell exercises, I put the total, so if it says 50/5 i actually mean two 25lbs dumbbells, and so on.
                      I did one set of each exercise at a time, so it was kind of circuit-y.
                      Although I liked it, because I wanted something new, it wasn't as fun as the barbell stuff. So back to the barbell tomorrow . And my brother said he'd go with my again, so I don't have to be scared of lifting heavy.

                      Food
                      Breakfast: 4 dates
                      Lunch: Salad
                      Dinner: Pan-fried salmon fillet
                      Snacks: Cherries and a square of dark chocolate
                      Drinks: Coffee with a splash of milk and stevia
                      Calories: ~650 - I wasn't very hungry today. Not surprising considering the amount I ate last night . I'm sensing a patterrrrn.

                      Thoughts and Stuff
                      I'm feeling soooo motivated exercise-wise. I spent most of the day looking up different circuits and lifting programs. And I looked through my exercise journal to see all the stuff I could do on my own when I'm on vacation. I'm not some nut that won't relax on my holiday - but I'm actually just going to be at home, since I lived there most of my life, and we have a house there.
                      But my trainer said she'd e-mail me some stuff, and a friend of mine who also works as a trainer offered to write me a program for my holiday. And I jokingly told my brother he should write me one, and he agreed (but I doubt he will).
                      I'm super psyched to try a workout I chose by myself tomorrow (I loooove the barbell). And only 3 days till I go on holiday!

                      As for yesterdays binge, as crappy as I felt last night, a lot of you guys on here helped me see it wasn't that bad. Soooo thank you again and again Ci, Derp and Max! I just considered it fuel for my workouts instead. And I didn't feel that disgusting bloat/sluggishness that I get when I binge on junk, so yay . It actually took a looot of willpower not to binge on junk though, lol.

                      Today I realized just how desperate I am to be super healthy when I'm older. Although I've never really feared my death, I'm terrified of the time before I die. If I end up really unhealthy, and helpless, and I'm just left in the hands of others. It just got me thinking. I was doing all this for vain reasons, because I want to look good. But, honestly, I'm in good health (physically, at least). I want to make sure I can keep my health as great as possible, for as long as possible. Hopefully I'll keep that in mind, and not be a doofus and get obsessed with the vain aspects of eating well and exercising. Health should be my main goal, really. Buuut I know the vain part of it will always be there. Maybe I can make the two goals equally important. Oh well.

                      Question Of The Day
                      What's your favorite and least favorite part of yourself? A physical aspect or a characteristic.

                      Day seven of my willpower challenge, overrrr!

                      And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off.
                      Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                      Comment


                      • #86
                        Originally posted by CiKi90
                        Congratulations on 1 full week of a successful willpower challenge! High five!

                        I'm glad you didn't feel gross from eating, like I did. It really shows just how important it is to watch what you put into your body (as opposed to how much.)

                        AOTD: My least favorite characteristic of myself would probably be my anxiety and negative outlook that I have on things. It causes a lot of unnecessary stress in my life that I really want to work toward eliminating. I've tried a couple self-help books, but they're all too religiousy for me. Ah well, maybe one day I can be a bubbly happy person more often than not.
                        Haha wow it didnt actually register in my brain that 7 days = a week.

                        The QOTD asked for your favorite thing too, missy! Dont focus on the bad part and forget the good one! I think you're a bubbly happy person whenever it comes to other people - you just never cut yourself any slack! However, i think that's pretty justified considering your current situation with your SO/sister/family and stuff.
                        On the flip side, sometimes it's better to have a negative outlook, lol. Spares you disappointment and stuff.
                        Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                        Comment


                        • #87
                          Driedmango, just an observation. Maybe on days where you eat very low calories, why not eat extra even if you don't feel hungry? 700 calories is pretty low, and I feel like it will lead to a necessary binge later this week (where you might feel guilty the whole time). Just a suggestion.

                          Also, as for enjoying life, I find whenever I don't stress about anything I am in a great and happy mood and just enjoy life. Stress is some awful stuff.

                          Comment


                          • #88
                            I don't dislike anything about myself, I think I'm the greatest, and I'm really beautiful; yet it doesn't stop me from being completely depressed. I think I just dislike everything else.
                            Make America Great Again

                            Comment


                            • #89
                              Sunday, 23rd June 2013

                              Day Eight of Willpower Challenge

                              Sleep:

                              2.30 - 9.30

                              Exercise:
                              1)Lifting
                              Back Squat: 45/6 - 95/6 - 115/6 - 115/6 - 125/6
                              Deadlift: 45/6 - 125/6 - 135/6 - 145/6 - 155/6
                              Benchpress: 45/6 - 55/6 - 65/6 - 65/6
                              Front Squat: 45/6 - 55/6 - 65/6 - 76/6
                              Pushpress: 45/6 - 55/6 - 55/6 - 65/6 - 45/6
                              I actually hit myself in the jaw doing the pushpress and ended up biting the inside of my mouth and bleeding on the second set, lol.

                              2) Mini timed circuit
                              Three sets of:
                              Russian Twists (with 15lb dumbbell) x40
                              Mountain Climbers x30 (15 on each leg)
                              Box Jumps x20
                              Pushups x10
                              Time: 11:10:02 minutes
                              My arms gave out on the 9th pushup on the last set. I'm sooo bad at regular pushups, lol.

                              UPDATED: I was feeling a fair deal of aggression, sooo I looked up the fitnessblender videos Ci suggested, and found a kickboxing video. And it was amaaaazing
                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFUxgIXEHAk

                              Food:
                              Breakfast: Smoked Salmon
                              Lunch: Chicken kebab
                              Dinner: Fruit salad/platter/thingy (strawberries, apples, pears, bananas, kiwi, pineapple)
                              Snacks: Almond butter, 1 sweet potato, cherries and dark chocolate.
                              Calories: ~1100
                              UPDATED: ~1200 (I reallyyy wanted a tbsp of almond butter)

                              Thoughts and Stuff
                              My triceps were sore from yesterdays experiment workout, and I haven't been sore in ages, so that was a bit weird. But I was sooo pumped for the workout today! I think it went really well (except for the incident with the pushpress, lol). I was out with a friend today, and I flexed my bicep for her and told her to touch it and she was really impressed, which made me laugh, because my brothers always tease me about how small it is . It's also starting to dawn on me that other people really don't see me how I see myself. She was saying something about how she's one of the "chubby" people, and I asked her what constitutes being a "chubby" person. Her response was "anything from me and bigger". I told her I had a very messed up perception of my own body, so I didn't know if I was in that category. Her response was "well, I'm size 12 in pants...what are you, like, a size 2?". So although I'm not a size two, at least not in pants, thanks to my butt, it just kinda made me see that it's possible that I'm not the elephant I think I am.

                              I also saw that guy today, and he tried to talk to me, but I was kind of spaced out, so I wasn't particularly responsive. He seemed kind of dejected by the whole incident, and I felt like crap for having such "come-and-go-at-the-speed-of-light" interests and curiosity. I always make people feel like they're super special, then when I start to pull away (and I always do) they end up feeling like shit. I don't think I can really change that though, lol.

                              It's also coming to my attention that my relationship with food is even more messed up than I figured. I probably spent most of today and yesterday panicking and obsessing over what I was going to eat while I was travelling, and dreading the fact that I might end up eating too much, and just anticipating. It's like I'm setting myself up for failure in my head. And why is something like "omg what am I gonna eat" the first thing on my mind, when I should be excited about the trip? Need to get my shit togetherrrr.

                              Question Of The Day

                              I got this question after I saw Ci's QOTD about food : if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

                              Day eight of ze leetle challenge is ovarrrr.


                              I had a dream the other night, about how we only get one life, it woke me up right after two, I stayed awake and stared at you, so I wouldn’t lose my mind
                              Last edited by Driedmango; 06-23-2013, 11:14 PM.
                              Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                              Comment


                              • #90
                                Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                                I don't dislike anything about myself, I think I'm the greatest, and I'm really beautiful; yet it doesn't stop me from being completely depressed. I think I just dislike everything else.
                                Maybe it's cause almost everyone else is crappy, I don't know

                                Originally posted by max219 View Post
                                Driedmango, just an observation. Maybe on days where you eat very low calories, why not eat extra even if you don't feel hungry? 700 calories is pretty low, and I feel like it will lead to a necessary binge later this week (where you might feel guilty the whole time). Just a suggestion.

                                Also, as for enjoying life, I find whenever I don't stress about anything I am in a great and happy mood and just enjoy life. Stress is some awful stuff.
                                I saw this like an hour ago, and I was going to end on my day on around 700 calories again, so I went and forced myself to eat some more (and I enjoyed it!) .
                                I agree, I think life is the best when you're not stressed. Unfortunately, I stress myself out over dumb stuff wayyy too often!

                                Originally posted by CiKi90
                                Ah, sorry! I'm on my phone, so I couldn't see the question while I was typing my answer out. Guess I forgot to answer half!

                                My favorite part of me is... My hair. I like that it's not just one color naturally (it's at least 3 distinctly different shades), and I like that it's finally getting really long. And to not just think of my physical self, I like that people perceive me as funny. I don't talk a lot in real life, but people say that when I decide to pipe up, most of the time I say hilarious things. lol.
                                Your hair is really pretty, from what I've seen of it. And that's a sign that you should pipe up more often!
                                Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                                Comment

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