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  • #61
    Originally posted by CiKi90
    Well, it depends on what I'm curious about. If I'm wondering if the person hates me for some unknown reason, then I would just ask that person if they were angry toward me. If I'm not sure if the person has feelings of romantic love toward me, then usually I have a hard time saying/asking anything, honestly. If I don't have romantic feelings toward them, then it's usually a lot easier for me to tease them and see just how they feel about me based on their reaction. If I am having some emotional connection, though, it is just in my nature to shrink up and get pretty shy. That being said, I haven't had to deal with things like this since high school, since I've been in a relationship since then, so I guess that's normal high school behavior, ha.

    I was going to ask you about your sleep troubles, too. I can't remember now, but did you eat very little food yesterday? If you didn't have enough calories, you can have a tough time staying asleep sometimes. This would ring especially true if you woke up sweating, twitching, very hot, etc. Maybe tonight you'll sleep a bit better =)

    Also... the day after a lifting day, or a day after a busy day for me, will always be a hungry day! If you've been lifting weights recently, then yeah, hunger should be expected. Yeah muscles!
    It's pretty fascinating how different people react to different things. If I'm really interested in someone, I mostly stick to teasing - I feel like if I keep it light and jokey, I can't mess anything up. However, I am shy by nature, so I blush while I do it, haha.
    All my experiences with males have also started off with them teasing me. I think literally each and every single one of them did start with teasing, lol. I've heard I give my reactions to teasing are pretty amazing though (as in, really damn funny). So I don't know if they tease me out of interest, or if they tease me and like my reactions to things, then develop interest. I have no males I can question, unfortunately! I wish I could read minds for a little while

    Uhhh, yesterday I think I had around 1300 calories. I usually sleep easier when there's less food in my stomach, actually. I wake up sweating and very hot when I eat too much though! I know my lack of sleep was because of my anxiety, and I was just thinking too much. I might just pass out from being completely exhausted tonight. I hope so anyway - restless nights suck. But considering I'm seeing that guy tomorrow again, and I have a lot to do tomorrow, I'd imagine my levels of anxiousness will peak again.

    I do seem to be ravenous on the days when I lift! And my appetite is extremely low on days when I do cardio. Haha i really hope I'm building muscle, at least. Every time I eat a lot after a heavy lifting day, I'm like "woo, it's okay, IT'LL ALL TURN TO MUSCLE". Probably not, but one can dream
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

    Comment


    • #62
      Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
      Can't answer the QOTD today in any helpful way. I am not direct and am intimidated by people who are. Too many years of working retail where you had to be pleasant NO MATTER WHAT.
      I think I'd hate that, I apparently have a bad temper. I wouldn't last very long in retail - but I do try to be super nice to people who do work in retail!
      Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

      Comment


      • #63
        Tuesday, 18th June 2013

        Day Off Of My Little Willpower Challenge


        So last night I decided I would skip today out of my challenge. I knew there was going to be lots of cake, and that if I told myself it wasn't allowed - I'd end up binging on all the baked goods. So I let myself have a slice of my sister's birthday cake. And it was sooo yummy.

        Sleep
        1.30 - 9.00

        Exercise:
        Lifting again
        Benchpress: 45/5 - 45/5 - 45/5 - 55/4 - 65/4 - 75/4 - 75/4 - 85/1 - 85/1
        Squat: 45/5 - 95/4 - 115/5 - 115/4 - 115/4 - 115/4
        Deadlift: 45/5 - 95/4 - 125/4 - 145/3 - 155/3 - 155/3 - 115/3

        Food:
        Breakfast: Chicken breast deli meat
        Lunch: Pigeon/Squab/whatever you want to call it, I didn't enjoy it, so I left most of it.
        Dinner: Chicken breast deli meat
        Snacks: Slice of birthday cake, smoked salmon and loooots of dark chocolate.
        Calories : I hate to put this number out here, and although my counting wasn't militant, I'd say maybe ~2000-2500 calories. I don't know how much the slice of cake was. It was all spread out throughout the day, so although it wasn't a binge, I still feel bad about the number. I feel like such a cow . I'm going to hate myself for this when I weigh-in on friday!

        Thoughts and Stuff:
        Leeet's start off with the food stuff! So, I ate a truckload again. I was just reallyyyyy craving chocolate, so I just kept eating and eating it. I wasn't counting throughout the day, and only noticed when I was tallying everything up, that I'd eaten a loot. I think I might be PMS-ing though.
        Well, for the past 3 weeks I've been in the gym almost everyday. Hopefully it won't be too bad. And hopefully it'll make me build some muscle too. I'm really embarrassed putting up the number of calories I ate today. Not happy with it at all! I think I might go back to counting throughout the day tomorrow. I promise I'm not always like this, I think I'm just losing my mind. But I'll get back on track.
        On other unrelated news, last night was really weird for me. I just felt reallyyyyy hollow, and like I had no purpose. I keep thinking if I found myself some sort of passion, or something I truly loved...that everything would fall into place. But maybe that's just wishful thinking. But the feeling carried over today, and although I managed to ignore it for most of the day, when I had a moment to myself I just ended up crying because I felt sooo lost. I have no clue what I'm doing with myself. I feel like my life isn't going in any particular direction, and I'm spinning myself in circles (as you can see by my eating habits, too - I wish someone would just tell me what to eat everyday, so I wouldn't have to think of food at all).
        I also didn't manage to talk to that guy alone today, but he gave my younger sister a birthday present (which I think was really sweet). I walked into the lobby with a male relative of mine and when we were in the elevator he snapped at me for apparently being too friendly with the security guy. Which is funny, because I didn't even smile/look at him that time, since I was embarrassed that he'd seen me right after I cried earlier. At first, I took it as a joke and I laughed and asked what he was talking about. And this is basically how the conversation went:
        Jerk #2 (#1 being the one I posted about who was being mean about my fitness ) : What was that with the security guy, then?
        Me: What do you mean? I didn't even talk to him.
        Jerk #2: You didn't need to talk out loud, you two were obviously talking with your eyes.
        Me: Talking with our e-...you're joking, aren't you? (I laughed. I really thought he was kidding).
        Jerk #2: Wait till we get upstairs.
        He then proceeded to go upstairs and try to tell my mom how her daughter was frolicking with "the help" (you might have guessed - but he's a major snob). Which just resulted in my yelling at him and my mom snapping at him for being ridiculous. So, you know, sucks for him. I might've believed him, if it weren't for the fact that talking with our eyes would require eye contact for more than half a second. But honestly. What's with all these toxic vibes people keep spitting in my direction? Maybe people are catching on to how toxic my thoughts about myself are, and they're treating me how I treat myself. I just want to be happy. It always surprises me when I realize I really am unhappy. I don't think anyone would guess it (unless they read my journal, of course )

        I really want things to get better. I really want to get better. But I feel so stuck. Blah.

        Question Of The Day
        Does it really get better?

        Super gloomy, lol. Sorry, I'm just trapped in my own negative state of mind lately.
        Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

        Comment


        • #64
          Originally posted by CiKi90
          Well, I feel pretty certain that even though every little bit of extra food you eat may not turn to muscle, I do believe that most of it will get used up metabolically since lifting weights raises your metabolism for a while after you're done. So, even if you're not gaining muscle, I don't think you're gaining fat either, unless you ate like 4kcals every day!

          Ohh, and on the green tea matcha powder -- I LOVE that stuff! Whenever I have it (I just ran out the other day, boo) I can pretty much put it in everything: coffee for lattes, almond milk for chai tea, smoothies, lemon juice + pellegrino (green tea soda! ha) and I've even baked with it before. It's supposed to be really good for you, too, since you're consuming the whole leaf instead of just the steeped bits from the plant. I think the next time I pick up some matcha, I'm going to try making green tea flavored gummy candy with gelatin! haha, I love making weird stuff.
          Haha I've never gone as 4k, but 3k appears to be happening more often than I'd like. I worry my bulimia is turning into binge eating disorder. Although I haven't actually had a "binge" recently. Uuuugh! I need to remember to buy some next time. I was even next to the store like 4 times today.
          Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

          Comment


          • #65
            I wouldn't be upset about the calories. You are lifting heavy and often, and could probably use the energy. It is more likely to be turned into muscle since it's not like you were sitting down all day. I find that stressing over the food intake sometimes is often worse than overeating. Also, overeating here and there is NOT going to make you blow up like a balloon! It takes daily overeating of mostly unhealthy food for that to happen. It's not like you are eating junk, which is addicting. You are eating whole real food, which keeps you full. Also, don't be afraid of the scale - muscle weighs more than fat!

            Also - another thought. Maybe you are eating a lot of the dark chocolate because it looks like your carb intake is rather low. Including some starches like potatoes and rice might help diminish those cravings. Primal doesn't mean low carb (I went pretty low carb while being active when first finding primal too, and felt a LOT better adding some starch back).

            As for feeling down about life, keep your head up. When I used to binge (not saying you binged), I'd feel pretty bad about myself the rest of the day. Now instead of feeling sorry about nothing, I think how I am born in a time where I can learn so much about life and better myself in all ways.
            Last edited by max219; 06-18-2013, 08:19 PM.

            Comment


            • #66
              QOTD~ Yes, it does get better.
              Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

              Comment


              • #67
                Originally posted by max219 View Post
                I wouldn't be upset about the calories. You are lifting heavy and often, and could probably use the energy. It is more likely to be turned into muscle since it's not like you were sitting down all day. I find that stressing over the food intake sometimes is often worse than overeating. Also, overeating here and there is NOT going to make you blow up like a balloon! It takes daily overeating of mostly unhealthy food for that to happen. It's not like you are eating junk, which is addicting. You are eating whole real food, which keeps you full. Also, don't be afraid of the scale - muscle weighs more than fat!

                Also - another thought. Maybe you are eating a lot of the dark chocolate because it looks like your carb intake is rather low. Including some starches like potatoes and rice might help diminish those cravings. Primal doesn't mean low carb (I went pretty low carb while being active when first finding primal too, and felt a LOT better adding some starch back).

                As for feeling down about life, keep your head up. When I used to binge (not saying you binged), I'd feel pretty bad about myself the rest of the day. Now instead of feeling sorry about nothing, I think how I am born in a time where I can learn so much about life and better myself in all ways.
                You're definitely right, and I'm going to try upping the carbs. I don't think low carb works well for me, at all. Thank you soooo much for your response and your support .

                Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
                QOTD~ Yes, it does get better.
                Haha I'm soo sorry about that question. I was being so negative yesterday. Thank you, though. I think I'm just too impatient!

                Originally posted by CiKi90
                Aww, I just want to give you a giant hug! I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Did you see my journal from last night? We're in the same boat, food-wise. I had so much food yesterday, too! Since you are really feeling down and out, I think that this article will really help you to feel better about everything that's going on: Your Eatopia - Blog - Bingeing is Not*Bingeing
                It's a great site, and there are plenty of cited sources that explain things about eating disorders. It really helped me when I was at my worst! Keep your chin up, hun!

                Ah, the matcha! I just bought 2oz. of it today! I wonder what I should make with it? Usually, I just mix it with lemony water, or with gelatin, or coffee. Idk. Frozen banana-green tea "ice cream?" Maaaaybe. Ha.
                Haha I'd have loved a hug! I did read your journal, and your bf's mother is something else (I almost said mother-in-law, shame on me). I checked out that link and it actually made a lot of sense to me. I'm going to re-read it later, though, because I read it when I was grumpy, and so I probably missed a fair bit .
                Oooh my vote's for the Frozen banana-green tea ice cream. Do it do it! And then let me know how it was !

                Again, I'm sooooo sorry for being so negative yesterday. I cringed when I re-read yesterday's journal entry. Thank you guys lots and lots and lots for being so supportive. You're the best!
                Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                Comment


                • #68
                  Wednesday, 19th June 2013

                  Day Four of Willpower Challenge

                  Sleep

                  00.30 - 2.30 and 4.30 - 11.30. I also napped between 16.30 and 18.30.
                  Woke up at 2.30 with a crazy need to just write, so I wrote and wrote. Then my best friend back in Dubai texted me, so I stayed up talking to her till around 4.30. I mentioned to her that I was feeling kind of aimless, and I was surprised to hear that she felt that way a lot too. We decided to try and volunteer for some charity work when I went back for the summer. Did I mention I was going back to Dubai on the 26th ?

                  Exercise
                  Nothing today. I decided to give myself a bit of a break before I went back to lifting on Friday.

                  Food
                  Today was pretty unstructured, food-wise. I only actually had one proper meal today.
                  Meal: Grilled chicken breast with a huuuuge salad (sooo yummy!)
                  Snacks: Dates and walnuts
                  Drinks: Coffee with a bit of milk and stevia + Tea with a bit of milk and stevia
                  I was lost in my own head for the majority of the day, and since we're leaving so soon we don't have much at home, grocery-wise. I only ended up eating at around 20.30, and even then, I wasn't so hungry. Sometimes when I think of a salad I'll be like "oh man that sounds so boring". But then I'll have a really good salad, like I did today, and I remember how good vegetables can be.
                  Calories: ~500-600 - Maybe my body's getting the hang of this calorie cycling thing?

                  Thoughts and Stuff
                  Today was pretty uneventful (but in a good way - my day's have been pretty eventful lately, in a negative light). I had a lot of time to think and unwind.
                  I found myself feeling a lot more positive today, and like Max told me after my super negative post yesterday, I just needed to think of how lucky I really am (Thank you, Max!). I don't have it bad at all. I also realized there's no point being so hard on myself when I'm still learning to trust my body. It also finally registered that I am getting better. In the past, if I'd eaten as much as I did yesterday, I'd have instantly gone to the gym and stayed there till I felt I burned enough calories to be back into a heavy deficit. So I'm proud of myself for not falling back into the exercise bulimia (even though it crossed my mind)!
                  I'm really excited to be going back to Dubai. I really miss a lot of my friends there. I keep noticing that a lot of my friends back home have gone in opposite directions from me, but when we sit down together and stuff, it's so easy to fall back into our old ways. I miss how things were when I didn't obsess over food and my body. I used to have such a full schedule, and I was so happy. I distanced myself from most of them a year before I moved away (I knew in advance) and I didn't want to upset anyone.
                  I even noticed I pulled away from all the social networking stuff, which was how we would've stayed in contact. I'm kind of considering throwing myself back into all of it. Oh well! I don't know, yet! But today was a lot better than yesterday, as far as my mental state goes.

                  Question of The Day
                  If you were aware that someone might not be the best person to introduce into your life, but you strongly felt you could help them, would you kind of put yourself at risk and ignore your better judgement?

                  And because yesterday's question was silly, here's a replacement question for yesterday:
                  What's your happiest memory?

                  Day four of the willpower challenge, dooooone !

                  What if I got it wrong, and no poem or song, could put right what I got wrong
                  Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                  Comment


                  • #69
                    Originally posted by CiKi90
                    congratulations on completing four days of your willpower challenge.

                    QOTD: That would depend on what sort of help the person needed. If they were young, and in need of an older figure for a role model or guidance, then I would open myself up to them in hopes that I could be able to help (if I felt like I was up to the challenge of being a role model for anyone, lol.)
                    But, if the person was dangerous in a codependent, needy, draining sort of way, I don't think I would even try to be more than acquaintances with them. People like that usually don't benefit from help offered by others, and have to help themselves in the end. Getting involved would most likely mean that I would just get hurt and sacrifice my own happiness for pretty much nothing.
                    Also, I've gone against my better judgement more than a few times with negative consequences. So, when I remember to trust my gut instinct, I always do as best I can to follow what I feel is right. Kinda harder to actually do, though, I know.

                    QOTD2: My happiest memory. I'm feeling so down about things right now that it's hard to bring anything to mind. It is helping my mood a bit though, to think of happy things, so thanks lol. Now that I'm sitting here, a few things are coming to mind: The month-long trip I took to France, my graduation/graduation parties, the day(s) my nephews and niece were born, the day I moved out of my parents' house and out into the world lol, my 3rd place national jr. world class award in figure skating. I can't really pick just one!
                    Thank youuu, Ci! See, you're always there to support other people, you're just awfully critical of yourself.
                    I'm glad the QOTD2 could help you a bit, and those all sound like really great memories . Maybe it's time you make some more of those really happy memories!
                    I already posted in your journal, but try and keep the good vibes going, as hard as it is.
                    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                    Comment


                    • #70
                      Thursday, 20th June 2013

                      Day Five of Willpower Challenge

                      Sleep:

                      4.30 - 9.30
                      Couldn't fall asleep, then I couldn't stay asleep.

                      Exercise:
                      Nothing, again. I was kind of just being a couch potato today. But I'm lifting tomorrow

                      Food:
                      Really unstructured again, with only one "proper" meal.
                      Breakfast: Dates
                      Bits and pieces (as in I just tasted the stuff): Chicken livers and a beef stew
                      Dinner: Pan-fried beef scallopini (not breaded, cooked in coconut oil) with a huge salad again
                      Snacks: Cherries
                      Drinks: Coffee + splash of milk and stevia
                      Calories: ~700
                      Wasn't particularly hungry throughout the day, again. But I guess I'll be ravenous again tomorrow, since I'm lifting. Hopefully it won't get too crazy!

                      Thoughts and Stuff:
                      I was playing with my Omron hand-held body fat monitor and realized it had two modes: athlete and normal. Although I wouldn't consider myself an athlete, based on the formula the manual gave me, I was supposed to use the athlete mode. When I switched to that, I got a BF% reading that was 2% lower. Anyone ever use the things and have any clue as to their accuracy? I heard they overestimate, in general. I'm just using it to track progress or lack of progress. But it'd be nice to know!

                      I was also looking at the print-out thing my doctor gave me of my weight + bf% half a year ago (when I had to start gaining again). Honestly, at the time, my bf% was still high, and if my omron is accurate at all, I've only gained like 2-3kgs of fat out of the 7 or something that I gained. I also noticed that the majority of my BF was in my butt. I mean, it's a family thing, so all the females in my family have prominent butts, but it still made me laugh (a lot) to see it on paper. And I showed it to my mom, who burst out laughing and said "ahh GENETICS". I'll probably get it checked out at the doctor's office again soon. Or not, ignorance might be bliss!

                      I was about to get into a reallyyyy negative place at some point today, but I managed to turn it around. I was thinking that there was no point, and I'd never get to where I want to be. Then I thought "why not?" There are people out there who are 100+lbs overweight, and I'm going to cry and give up over ~15-20? I know some of you disagree with my setting a "goal date", but I think that I can definitely get those 15-20 off before next April. I mean that's around 10 months. It doesn't sound impossible to me. So I'm going to do it! It really is just a matter of patience. I just get so demotivated when I don't see instant progress. Patience patience patience. I'm going to do it this time, and I'm going to do it right.

                      Unrelated to food and body issues, I suddenly completely let go of all my thoughts of that guy that made me anxious. I just had the most random "ahh, whatever, who cares, it's not like that's someone I'd actually want to be with." I don't know if I mentioned it before, but my curiosity has no limits, and I sometimes confuse it for interest. I guess my curiosity ran dry in his case .

                      WARNING: Skip this next bit if you think periods and/or bowel movements are icky!

                      I'm not really going to say anything about periods, just that I think mine is on it's way. Definitely feeling the bloat in my lower tummy today, and the general aching in my joints (and a slight hint of cramps). As for BMs...wellllll, where the heck are they? I've never been very regular, and certainly not a "once a day" person (except for a very brief period of time), and not even a "every other day" person. Any tips on how to fix that?

                      Question Of The Day
                      If you could go absolutely anywhere in the world, where would you? Why would you go there, and would you take anyone with you?

                      I forgot to sayyy, day five of the willpower challenge iiiis done done done

                      She's such a charmer, oh no.
                      Last edited by Driedmango; 06-20-2013, 07:49 PM.
                      Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                      Comment


                      • #71
                        As far as the BMs go, you eat good food, you poop less. Garbage in, garbage out. Eat food that your body doesn't utilize and you poop a whole lot more.

                        I cannot help but wonder if you are getting enough calories for your activity level. Even after two years I find myself thinking that if I eat less it will be better for me. Not. When I eat more, that is when good changes happen.
                        Last edited by honeybuns; 06-20-2013, 07:16 PM.
                        Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

                        Comment


                        • #72
                          Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
                          As far as the BMs go, you eat good food, you poop less. Garbage in, garbage out. Eat food that your body doesn't utilize and you poop a whole lot more.

                          I cannot help but wonder if you are getting enough calories for your activity level. Even after two years I find myself thinking that if I eat less it will be better for me. Not. When I eat more, that is when good changes happen.
                          That actually makes a lot of sense. I find that whenever I would binge on non-primal junk, I'd have to use the bathroom a lot more the next day.
                          I don't think my calories have been up to my activity level for the past two days, but I think it balances out with the rest of the week. I kind of want to do a little experiment where I test different levels of calories to see what my real maintenance level would be. Not sure how to go about it yet! A lot of the time I think that if I up my calories, I'd see a lot more progress. But it's scary for me, because the only time I ever lost weight was by counting calories and keeping them low.

                          Originally posted by CiKi90
                          I'm glad to hear that you could turn your negativity into a positive energy and start to feel hopeful again! That's great ^__^

                          Also, I think it's pretty cute that most of your body fat is in your bottom. I mean, what if you had it somewhere undesirable, and carried it mostly in your stomach, or even weirder, like .. your forearms!?!? Popeye, ha. Sorry, I'm being silly! I just want you to realize that having butt fat is pretty desirable for a lot of people... Me included! That's just about the only place that I don't mind gaining at this point.

                          If you're feeling uncomfortable about your BMs, have you tried any supplements? I have (had?) IBS pretty severely for a long time, but going Primal and eating healthy helped it out a lot. Now, I still have troubles, but I take Magnesium Citrate nightly. This might be a good supplement for you, especially since you have trouble sleeping sometimes! If you take it at night, you'll feel relaxed and tired, but it's nothing like a sleeping pill. I think it also helps with PMS, but I could be wrong on that. Are you going to continue your willpower challenge through PMS? If so, that's very brave of you :P haha

                          Question Of The Day: If you could go absolutely anywhere in the world, where would you? Why would you go there, and would you take anyone with you?

                          Answer Of The Day: ha. Well, I don't know if you read my journal, but I had a really intense/vibrant dream last night about packing everything up and living off the land in Hawaii! I've never been there, but I had such a strong sensation in my dream that it was the right thing to do. I had been talking about doing something like this with my friend months ago (a year ago maybe) and she lived in Hawaii like that for about a year, then came back. She said it was so beautiful and such an awesome experience to live freely, without bothering with money or beauty or magazines or physical, material things. I guess right now, I am just yearning for something more than a superficial life. I want to get down into the fullness and richness to see what life can really be for you, if you let it.
                          Haha it was a very risky moment! I was just so fed up with it that I went back to bed twice, totally dead-set on going back to sleep because I couldn't be bothered with the day. But I kept talking myself out of it. I'm glad I managed it though!

                          I know, I know. When I think about it I always say "well, your waist is pretty small, and your stomach is flat for the most part. your arms are nice and well...it's all junk in your trunk. that's not so bad, is it?" and people always tell me that it isnt a bad thing. Funny/awkward story, my butt was kind of a very common topic while I was at school haha. I actually had younger girls come up to me and compliment me on it, as well. It was at a time where I didn't really think of my body, so I laughed and thanked them. I guess I'm pretty lucky it goes to my butt and not anywhere super undesirable, like you said (haha I just pictured myself with guns like Popeye's).

                          My brother has a treasure chest of supplements and I just went and found some Magnesium pills. I don't know if I should take them though? I've been reading your and Om's journals, and it made me want to try it out. They're just Magnesium though, not Magnesium Citrate (are they different? I'm a total supplement noob). I'm deeeefinitely going to continue the challenge through PMS haha. That's like my "danger zone". If I let myself, I'd have all the junk in the house, and then feel like crap. It makes me cramps soooo much worse. Howeverrr, I was thinking of stopping the challenge on my 24 hours of travel (I tend to pig out when I'm travelling - the 14 hour flight makes me extremely restless). But maybe I should stick to it, to counteract that .

                          I did read it! I absolutely think you should go for it, if you can. Have you ever looked into a trip to the Maldives? Maybe with the SO (or without, since you clearly need some time apart). It's absolutely stunning. I think that if you can manage to travel around, you should totally embrace that while you can. If I didn't have an absolute bunch of worrywarts for a family, I'd have left and gone travelling ages ago! But I've never been one to cause anyone worry/stress intentionally. It's one of my dreams to see the world, haha. That's super cheesy, I know. I definitely get what you mean about wanting to get into the richness of life. I keep waiting for the richness to find me. But if we're honest with ourselves, we kinda have to make an effort and get to it, you know?
                          Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

                          Comment


                          • #73
                            Originally posted by CiKi90
                            Magnesium supplements that do not distinctly say that they're Mag C only are usually a mixture of magnesium types that don't absorb well into the body. It will still work for digestion, but not as well as purely Mag C. Also, if the magnesium supplement has calcium mixed in with it, then it will not work for digestion.

                            Good luck x 1000 with your willpower challenge through your cycle and through traveling! That will be a true test. I want you to remember though!!! You didn't eat very much today and a few times in the week, so try not to get discouraged if you're ravenous very soon. It's the natural way of your body to need more food when you're on your period, too, so try not to restrict or get upset!



                            I would love to travel all over the world, too. The world is beautiful and full of so many life-enriching experiences! If I went to Hawaii the way that it turned out in my dream, though.... It would be alone, and I don't think I would be returning back to my boyfriend, if you know what I mean. He doesn't even like me to go to the grocery store by myself, he would never wait for me to take a trip to Hawaii on my own! I could probably convince him to take a vacation there some time soon, though. But! We have our Monaco trip coming up, and we'll probably go back to Florida at least once more this year... and I still have to go to Texas at some point!
                            Oh god, haha. I wrote my reply out and casually deleted it.

                            I took the Magnesium pill, but I'm going to go and get Magnesium C, since you said that's better. Hopefully it helps!

                            I don't mind if I get ravenous and eat stuff that's good for me. It's just that when I go crazy on all the junk in the house - I know I'm not gaining anything but stress and stuff. When it's good stuff, with some real nutritional value, then I don't feel as bad after. The travelling is actually worse for me than PMS, because I always end up making excuses for myself like "oh well, it's just one day" and eat unnatural amounts of croissants/pasta/chocolate. I'm reallyyy intent on getting to a point where I'm comfortable in my own skin though, so hopefully I won't stray too far off (maybe I wont stray at all!).

                            Sometimes I think I won't really "find myself" until I explore the world, lol. Is that weird? I've been thinking about it since I was around 15. Is it also weird that I'm starting to develop a dislike towards your SO, lol? He just seems soooo controlling. I don't think I'd have the patience for that at all, so props to you for managing it. The trip to Monaco sounds exciting! I think it'll be good for you, get your mind off stuff and change it up a bit .
                            Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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                            • #74
                              Friday, 21st June 2013

                              Day Six of Willpower Challenge


                              Sleep:
                              ~2.00 - 9.30
                              Really restless again. Kept waking up almost every hour.

                              Exercise:
                              My warm up before every lifting session is:
                              -5 minutes on any cardio machine
                              -10 squats
                              -10 pushups
                              -10 situps (with my legs making a kind of diamond)
                              Lifting
                              -Squats: 45/5 - 75/5 - 95/4 - 115/4 - 125/4 - 125/4
                              -Deadlifts: 45/5 - 85/5 - 105/4 - 125/4 - 145/4 - 155/4
                              -Benchpress: 45/5 - 45/4 - 55/4 - 65/4 - 65/4
                              [With 1 minute in between each set on every exercise]
                              Burpee Test [50 Burpees]
                              Time : 4 minutes 23 seconds
                              I'm soooooooooooo bad at burpees, that was torture for me.

                              And later on in the day I did 95 minutes on the treadmill at 3.0 mph (nothing impressive, I know, but my knees were starting to ache, so I thought I'd give them a break from the jogging.)
                              4.72 miles total.

                              Food:
                              Breakfast: Tuna frittata (2 wholes, 2 whites) - Not the best idea, it was kind of good but kind of not
                              Lunch: Grilled rainbow trout and tilapia
                              Snacks: Dark chocolate with banana, a banana, a pear, dates and some almond butter
                              Dinner: leftover beef stew
                              Calories: ~2000 - 2200
                              Update: Got really hungry, so i went and had strawberries + pineapple + almond butter. Am i just going to have 2k calories every lifting day? It feels sooo excessive. At least it was all good stuff, i guess.

                              Thoughts and Stuff
                              Pretty mellow day today. I was pretty stressed about the weigh-in, but all my numbers were down (scale + bf% monitor), so I'm happy . It's weird how just a number can have such an impact on my mood.

                              My mom made pancakes for breakfast this morning. I'd never fully explained to my parents how I was eating, so I felt soooo bad when she said "I even made it with coconut milk for you!". I still didn't eat any though . I told her they smelled amazing, but I wanted to get some protein in before my workout, so she wasn't too upset. And my brother's gobbled all the pancakes up anyway!

                              I'm feeling really good today, thankfully. And and and aaaand I'm super excited to be travelling in 4 days . Travelling makes me feel like crap every time, but I still absolutely love it. And I'll get to see my best friend the same evening that I land, hopefully! Still some pretty obvious PMS-ing going on though.

                              Question Of The Day
                              When you're having a bad day, how do you pick yourself up?

                              Day six of the willpower challenge, doooone!

                              Baby we both know, that the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day
                              Last edited by Driedmango; 06-21-2013, 06:11 PM.
                              Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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                              • #75
                                QOTD~ I get my forest fix when I am feeling out of sorts. Puts me right every time.
                                Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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