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  • Derp--I saw what you wrote in moluv's journal, and I just wanted to let you know that I thought it was really heartfelt and beautiful. I'm sorry that you had to experience so great a loss when you were so young. And I'm sure that your grandma understands.

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    • Originally posted by diene View Post
      Derp--I saw what you wrote in moluv's journal, and I just wanted to let you know that I thought it was really heartfelt and beautiful. I'm sorry that you had to experience so great a loss when you were so young. And I'm sure that your grandma understands.
      Thanks ;_; I couldn't imagine what my grandpa felt, they were together for over 50 years. He passed away shortly after, I think depression really got to him. He would have the hardest time making it through the day, and he became extra attached to my company. We would talk a lot, and I'd spend days just watching sports with him, talking about his hometown, and my grandma, drinking coffee, and discussing politics. I was 13, so I doubt I was good conversation.

      I think they would both be disappointed in what a failure I've become though. They used to praise me so much, about everything -- saying I could become anything, and instead I became nothing. I pretty much collapsed without their leadership and parenting. I took to drugs, cutting, drinking, and other things at a young age out of depression. For me, it was like losing both of my parents in my teenage years, because my mom was a complete mess and neglected me entirely.

      Even now, over a decade later, I still have a hard time accepting the whole thing.
      Last edited by Derpamix; 09-06-2013, 08:34 AM.
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      • Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
        Thanks ;_; I couldn't imagine what my grandpa felt, they were together for over 50 years. He passed away shortly after, I think depression really got to him. He would have the hardest time making it through the day, and he became extra attached to my company. We would talk a lot, and I'd spend days just watching sports with him, talking about his hometown, and my grandma, drinking coffee, and discussing politics. I was 13, so I doubt I was good conversation.

        I think they would both be disappointed in what a failure I've become though. They used to praise me so much, about everything -- saying I could become anything, and instead I became nothing. I pretty much collapsed without their leadership and parenting. I took to drugs, cutting, drinking, and other things at a young age out of depression. For me, it was like losing both of my parents in my teenage years, because my mom was a complete mess and neglected me entirely.

        Even now, over a decade later, I still have a hard time accepting the whole thing.
        Oh Derp I can't spend any time here right now but glad I checked in and can share a heart connection even with relative strangers is powerfully cathartic. Will converse more about this at a later time.


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        • Oh, that must have been so hard. It sounds like you were really close to them! Closer than a lot of people are to their parents. It must have been unimaginably difficult to lose them when you were just a kid.

          I don't think they would be disappointed in you. They sound like really nice and intelligent people who really loved you. Not everyone fits into society's mold for success. It's a stupid mold anyway. Plenty of "successful" people have completely messed up lives, and a lot of them are either completely evil or are screwed up in other ways. Or they're actually really dumb and are only successful because they were handed everything.

          You're obviously really intelligent, and you're a good person so you're not a failure. Plus, you can still become anything you want.

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          • Derp,
            Just chirping in here, hope you don't mind.

            First of all, I am sorry for you loss. I lost a grandparent while I was very young (5 or 6 years old) so I don't remember much...other than my mother being so distraught she cut a huge chunk of her finger off while making soup for grandpa. That was such a weird experience to see someone who I thought was invincible...be so vulnerable. I thought mom was superwoman before that since she had it all under her belt: career, family, looks, etc.

            Second of all, you are NOT a failure. Not only are you still way too young to admit defeat, the societal definition of success (degree + $$$$$ job + marriage = happiness!!!) is so very misguided. I know a lot of people who are by the traditional Chinese definition of "successful"...lawyers, doctors, engineers, etc....but they're absolutely miserable. You're obviously intelligent and capable of doing a lot that you put your mind to, you just have to overcome the self-defeating outlook.

            We have only truly failed when we stopped trying.
            ------
            HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

            My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


            Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

            " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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            • Hey Derp, eloquence is not my strong suit, but what you had written earlier moved me, so I wanted to tell you few things anyway.

              Firstly, I was very sad to read about the profound affect your grandparents passing has had on you at such a young age. They seem to have been wonderful and generous people just like you are, and somehow I don't think they would be disappointed in you.
              Secondly, no one is or becomes nothing. I've done some things in my adolescence that I'm not particularly proud of, but that certainly did and does not make me be nothing, or a bad person for that matter. You, my friend have a lot going for you, and I have no doubt you can and will realize that potential and will become exactly what you want to be. Time is on your side too.

              I've said this to someone else before and it applies to you as well. Be as nice to yourself as you are to everyone else.

              How's the kitty btw?

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              • Waaaarghhhhhhhh I'm going to pull this journal out of the grave for no reason

                <3 you guys, thanks much for your comments which I got shy and ran away from.

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                • Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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                  • Originally posted by moluv View Post
                    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
                    Hi hi
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                    • "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                      - Ray Peat

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                      • Fuck...
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                        • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                          Lol!!!!


                          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
                          ------
                          HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                          My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                          Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                          " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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                          • I'm not gonna lie: it took me a second to get the joke. Then I laughed

                            I thought it would be up your street Derp.
                            "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                            In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                            - Ray Peat

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                            • It hits close to home
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                              • The moment I've been waiting for has arrived...

                                Pokemon X and Y

                                Any Pokemon fans? I'll post my FC if anyone has a 3DS and the game(which I'm not sure is very likely)
                                Make America Great Again

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