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  • #16
    Hey YogaBare! Yeah, I decided to start a journal since everyone else is doing it. But it's mostly turned into a food log for me, just tracking what I eat, in case the JUDDD thing fails, and I have to tweak it. Might help to have a log. Less irritating than entering everything into FitDay because that would require me to measure/weigh the food and will remind me of my crazy track-everything-I-eat days.

    I consider myself to be recovered from my ED, but I have to admit that I still binge on occasion and (even more rarely) purge afterwards (can't believe I just admitted this on the Interwebs). Hi everyone, yes, I still make myself puke after binging every once in a while (like maybe three or four times a year). I go months and months at a time without doing it though. I have to admit that when I was VLC and restricting calories a couple of months ago, I'd end up binging a lot of weekends (weekends were my carb-refeed days, but they were more like carb-binging days). And I did the binge/purge thing two or three weekends in a row, and I was like, okay, I have to stop this. Then I stopped restricting mid-Feb and started the eating a ton thing, and I'm happy to say that it hasn't happened again since. (This is not to say that it will never happen again.)

    I'm not sure if taking out the IUD has done anything for me weight-wise. I definitely didn't experience any magical weight loss from having it removed, but it's possible that these things take time. I used to never get menstrual cramps before I got the IUD, but this last time I had my period, after I had it removed, I had a very slight amount of cramping. So it's possible that my body is still adjusting to not having it there. Who knows. But I don't regret taking it out though. It's good not to have a foreign object in my uterus, causing chronic inflammation there.

    My journal

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    • #17
      5/24/13

      Food
      2 bananas
      1 tbsp sun butter
      protein shake (~200 cal)
      sweet potato muffin (1 egg, 1 sweet potato, mashed, cinnamon, ginger, cloves, nutmeg)
      couple bites of vanilla-flavored raw milk yogurt (best ever)
      3 rice cakes w/ feta cheese
      1 chocolate truffle
      brunswick stew (376 cal)
      1 banana
      fruit salad (cantaloupe, honey dew, watermelon, strawberries, mango, and orange) --> fruit overload, but, yesterday, on my DD, I kept walking by these fruit salad trucks, and the fruit smelled SO good. So I had to get a fruit salad today.
      1 non-fat Greek yogurt (100 cal)
      sausage cooked with kale and mushrooms
      2 bananas cooked in coconut milk with splashes of rum
      2 or 3 alcoholic beverages
      I think I may have had more rice cakes and sun butter (which means that I failed to stick to the only one tbsp of sun butter thing)--I can't really remember b/c that was Friday and I'm not trying to fill in the gaps on Monday.

      Workout
      Crossfit--I don't usually CF on Fridays, but my plantar fasciitis made me not want to run.

      Since yesterday, I've been trying to remember to engage my abs and squeeze my butt at all times. Apparently, that's the proper posture you're supposed to be in all the time (one where your spine is in a straight line, rather than curved, which is the relaxed state). One of my crossfit coaches said that if I remembered to be in that posture all the time, it will help build up endurance in those core muscles. That will make things easier when I'm lifting weights and doing bodyweight stuff like pullups and pushups. Needless to say, I have fairly crappy core strength and even crappier endurance in my core muscles. But I can hold a plank for 3 minutes. Anyway, it's pretty hard to remember to engage those muscles all the time. I feel like I'm having to exert effort constantly, and that makes me feel lazy the rest of the time? I mean, I feel like a lazy bum for not being in the proper posture my entire life and going about with my belly sticking out and my spine curved, hehe!
      Last edited by diene; 05-27-2013, 12:08 PM.

      My journal

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      • #18
        Originally posted by serenity View Post
        Hey YogaBare! Yeah, I decided to start a journal since everyone else is doing it. But it's mostly turned into a food log for me, just tracking what I eat, in case the JUDDD thing fails, and I have to tweak it. Might help to have a log. Less irritating than entering everything into FitDay because that would require me to measure/weigh the food and will remind me of my crazy track-everything-I-eat days.

        I consider myself to be recovered from my ED, but I have to admit that I still binge on occasion and (even more rarely) purge afterwards (can't believe I just admitted this on the Interwebs). Hi everyone, yes, I still make myself puke after binging every once in a while (like maybe three or four times a year). I go months and months at a time without doing it though. I have to admit that when I was VLC and restricting calories a couple of months ago, I'd end up binging a lot of weekends (weekends were my carb-refeed days, but they were more like carb-binging days). And I did the binge/purge thing two or three weekends in a row, and I was like, okay, I have to stop this. Then I stopped restricting mid-Feb and started the eating a ton thing, and I'm happy to say that it hasn't happened again since. (This is not to say that it will never happen again.)

        I'm not sure if taking out the IUD has done anything for me weight-wise. I definitely didn't experience any magical weight loss from having it removed, but it's possible that these things take time. I used to never get menstrual cramps before I got the IUD, but this last time I had my period, after I had it removed, I had a very slight amount of cramping. So it's possible that my body is still adjusting to not having it there. Who knows. But I don't regret taking it out though. It's good not to have a foreign object in my uterus, causing chronic inflammation there.
        "Serenity - NE US - I know that chick!!!"

        Aw girl, don't feel bad about the purging - particularly not about revealing it online. I find that the more transparent I am on here, the more "normal" I am in real life..! We all have a lot of dark thoughts / habits, and the internet gives us a place to vent them anonymously. So share away!

        If it makes you feel any better, my ED was pretty similar to yours: binging and purging. I also had bouts of starvation and being underweight thrown into the mix. 13 years of my life I was a slave to it. Makes me sad now to think of all that time I wasted I have to say, the binging and purging was way more destructive psychologically than the starving. It's so horrible to feel so out of control. At the worst, darkest phase of my ED I was binging every day, and literally had no will to live.

        That's amazing that the "Eating a Ton" ended your issues as well!!! My god, we should write a book on it. And like you, I only gained a couple of pounds. How ridiculous...

        How's the JUDD thing going? How long have you been doing it? I think it's great that you're starting to journal - for me it was definitely a turning point. Just taking note of all this stuff makes you so much more aware, and helps you draw correlations between things.

        Also, where in Cali are you based? (If you don't mind revealing that info on the web! ) I'm going to be travelling through Cali when I come over (between SF - Santa Cruz - Los Vegas) so our paths may cross yet!
        "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

        In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

        - Ray Peat

        Comment


        • #19
          Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          "Serenity - NE US - I know that chick!!!"
          Unfortunately, Serenity is my real name. When I joined this forum, I had no idea that I would be oversharing with everyone so didn't feel the need to use a fake username since my real name was available. Anyone who knows me in real life and who happens to read this would know that it's me so there's no point in hiding at this point...

          Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          Aw girl, don't feel bad about the purging - particularly not about revealing it online. I find that the more transparent I am on here, the more "normal" I am in real life..! We all have a lot of dark thoughts / habits, and the internet gives us a place to vent them anonymously. So share away!
          Only anonymous cuz you guys don't know me in real life! And (hopefully) people who know me in real life don't read these forums!

          Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          If it makes you feel any better, my ED was pretty similar to yours: binging and purging. I also had bouts of starvation and being underweight thrown into the mix. 13 years of my life I was a slave to it. Makes me sad now to think of all that time I wasted I have to say, the binging and purging was way more destructive psychologically than the starving. It's so horrible to feel so out of control. At the worst, darkest phase of my ED I was binging every day, and literally had no will to live.
          I've read that bulimia is more pathological (psychologically) than anorexia. It definitely takes up more time. I would spend HOURS each day binging and purging.

          Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          That's amazing that the "Eating a Ton" ended your issues as well!!! My god, we should write a book on it. And like you, I only gained a couple of pounds. How ridiculous...
          I know! It's crazy that the difference between restricting a lot and eating a ton is only a few pounds. CICO fail!

          Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          How's the JUDD thing going? How long have you been doing it? I think it's great that you're starting to journal - for me it was definitely a turning point. Just taking note of all this stuff makes you so much more aware, and helps you draw correlations between things.
          So far, it's going pretty well. I'm at the end of my second week. I haven't binged on it yet. I think it's easier for me to deal with just one day of restriction at a time. That way I never really feel deprived. It's actually easier than 1500 calories a day, 5 days a week because that to me is just restricting 5 days in a row, which causes me to want to binge at the end. Not restricting macros really helps too. I don't think I can ever do VLC without binging. Restricting carbs like that just isn't sustainable for me.

          Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          Also, where in Cali are you based? (If you don't mind revealing that info on the web! ) I'm going to be travelling through Cali when I come over (between SF - Santa Cruz - Los Vegas) so our paths may cross yet!
          I'm not in Cali right now, unfortunately. I'm from Cali, and I plan on moving back there hopefully by the end of the year, possibly by September. You're going to be there in June, right? It sucks that I'm going to miss you! (There should be a smiley face that's a crying face. Just the one sad face gets repetitive.) BUT are you still planning on moving to SF? (When I move back, I'll be moving to the Bay Area--probably not going to move to SF but close--across the Bay from SF, Oakland, probably.) I can recommend a couple of good places to eat when you're in the SF area, especially if you have time to visit Berkeley, which you totally should because it's where I went to college and it's beautiful there. And lots of good food. It's beautiful there in June. And did I mention the food?

          Edited to add: I currently live in Philly. Hi--everyone who knows me!! @_@
          Last edited by diene; 05-24-2013, 01:31 PM.

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          • #20
            Originally posted by serenity View Post
            I've read that bulimia is more pathological (psychologically) than anorexia. It definitely takes up more time. I would spend HOURS each day binging and purging.
            Both are slow forms of suicide, but I consider ana more like a cry for help, and bulimia / BED, a death wish.

            So far, it's going pretty well. I'm at the end of my second week. I haven't binged on it yet. I think it's easier for me to deal with just one day of restriction at a time. That way I never really feel deprived. It's actually easier than 1500 calories a day, 5 days a week because that to me is just restricting 5 days in a row, which causes me to want to binge at the end. Not restricting macros really helps too. I don't think I can ever do VLC without binging. Restricting carbs like that just isn't sustainable for me.
            That's great you're doing well on it! Any weight loss? And I totally agree - restricting an entire group of macros is a dangerous game for people with previous EDs.

            I'm not in Cali right now, unfortunately. I'm from Cali, and I plan on moving back there hopefully by the end of the year, possibly by September. You're going to be there in June, right? It sucks that I'm going to miss you! (There should be a smiley face that's a crying face. Just the one sad face gets repetitive.) BUT are you still planning on moving to SF? (When I move back, I'll be moving to the Bay Area--probably not going to move to SF but close--across the Bay from SF, Oakland, probably.) I can recommend a couple of good places to eat when you're in the SF area, especially if you have time to visit Berkeley, which you totally should because it's where I went to college and it's beautiful there. And lots of good food. It's beautiful there in June. And did I mention the food?

            Edited to add: I currently live in Philly. Hi--everyone who knows me!! @_@
            If you could recommend some places to eat that would be ace! I might spend a few days in SF by myself - any recomms on where to stay, or should I try Oakland?

            Btw, I think Ciki90 is near Philly!
            "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

            In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

            - Ray Peat

            Comment


            • #21
              I may have lost 3 lbs so far on JUDDD. The weight bounces around a lot so it's hard to tell for sure.

              I can find out about good places to stay in SF for you. What's your budget like? Also, some friends of mine rent out a little cottage on their property in Berkeley on https://www.airbnb.com/. Airbnb is a good place to go if you don't want to spend extra $$$ to stay at hotels.

              Golden Lotus in downtown Oakland.
              State Bird Provisions in SF (you should make reservations WAY ahead of time).
              Thai Delight in Berkeley if you like Thai food. There are lots of good Thai restaurants in Berkeley. Siam is another good one. Thai Restaurants - Berkeley, CA | Zagat[name]=Berkeley%2C%20CA&where[id]=4293471419&yp=&pp=10&s=open&sort=relevance&er[0]=1348&er[1]=1381&er[2]=1383&er[3]=1391&er[4]=4830&er[5]=4673&er[6]=4886&er[7]=4672&er[8]=4671&er[9]=4670&er[10]=4850
              The Buddhist Temple one (first one on the list)--I've never been, but it's supposed to be amazing (it's also vegetarian).
              900 Grayson also in Berkeley. 900 GRAYSON RESTAURANT
              Gregoire GRÉGOIRE RESTAURANT

              I'll have some more recommendations for you shortly.
              Last edited by diene; 05-27-2013, 11:46 AM.

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              • #22
                5/25/13

                DD--all I had was my chai tea jello (1 packet unsweetened gelatin, chai tea, and a packet of stevia--less than 24 calories total), 4 stalks of celery (~24 calories), and 2 poached eggs (~150 calories). I also had a few tastes of the bone broth I was making in the slow cooker (probably negligible calories).

                Workout
                1.25-mile warm-up
                1 x 40-s interval @ 10 mph
                4 x 40-s interval @10.5 mph
                Fewer intervals today due to plantar fasciitis and fact that gym is closing early today b/c it's a holiday weekend (hate it when they close early).

                5/26/13

                Ate a whole bunch of stuff--really can't remember for sure.

                Food
                Lots of rice cakes with cream cheese, cinnamon, and raisins (and maple syrup too, sometimes)
                2 bananas
                some lychees
                1 beer (really should stop drinking beer)
                sausage and egg scramble with leftover sausage, kale, mushrooms, and 2 eggs
                sun butter (too much)
                cheese (at random times throughout the day)
                root beer float (oh yeah--root beer made with cane sugar & rum raisin ice cream)
                bone broth (including some of the fatty marrow)
                home-made apple cinnamon raisin cake--I made up the recipe myself and will post it shortly!
                fish congee for dinner (went out to Vietnamese restaurant but didn't feel like having pho)

                Felt uncomfortably full after dinner. Ate entirely too much.

                Workout
                None -- felt really guilty about it too. Was supposed to run but was way too lazy. Not a good running week. Haven't been running nearly enough this week. Must change that next week. Must. Run. Moar.

                5/27/13

                It's so much easier to log food on DDs! So far, I've only had:

                150-cal protein shake

                Other food
                1 preserved duck egg
                1 bag of arugula (20 calories)
                1 cup of chai tea with 1 packet stevia (4 calories)

                Workout
                Crossfit -- scaled scaled Murph: (1-mile run, 20 rounds of 5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 squats, 1-mile run)
                I did the pushups against a box and the pullups with a band. By the end, I was using such a big band for the pullups that I was totally cheating - heh! That's the problem with doing a gazillion pullups, after a while, I just stop being able to do them, even with a band.

                The problem with Crossfit is that they're too into the military. Military people really like CF, and CF really likes the military. While I don't have problems with individual service members--I see (most of) them as victims of the warfare state more than anything--I'm also disinclined to worship them as heroes.
                Last edited by diene; 05-28-2013, 05:35 AM.

                My journal

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                • #23
                  Apple Cinnamon Raisin Cake Recipe

                  CAM00103.jpg

                  Ingredients:

                  1/4 cup coconut flour
                  3/4 cup rice flour
                  3/4 cup sweet rice flour
                  1/4 teaspoon baking soda
                  3/4 teaspoon baking powder
                  1/4 teaspoon salt
                  cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and ginger (to taste--I didn't measure any of it, but I used generous amounts of cinnamon and cloves and small amounts of nutmeg and ginger)
                  raisins (~1/2 cup or as much or little as you like) soaked in rum overnight
                  2 Granny Smith apples, peeled and diced, mixed with more cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg
                  3 eggs
                  1 tsp vanilla extract
                  1/2 cup coconut oil, melted
                  2 tbsp coconut milk (or some other milk)
                  2 tbsp maple syrup
                  2 packets stevia

                  Directions:

                  1. The day before, soak raisins in rum. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap so that the rum doesn't evaporate.
                  2. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
                  3. Combine the dry ingredients, including spices, in a bowl, and mix well.
                  4. Beat the eggs and vanilla extract together in a separate bowl. Add coconut oil and coconut milk and beat some more. Add maple syrup and stevia and beat some more. Pour the rum in which the raisins have been soaking into this mixture and beat more.
                  5. Peel the apples, cut into chunks, and place in a third bowl. Add cinnamon, cloves, and nutmeg, and toss.
                  6. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients slowly, mixing in between each addition until combined.
                  7. Add raisins and apples, and mix until combined.
                  8. Pour into a cake pan and bake at 350 degrees for approximately 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean (you should start checking for doneness after ~30 minutes of baking).

                  Note: The amount of sweetener I added makes a not very sweet cake. I actually only used 1 tablespoon, which was definitely not enough so I put 2 tablespoons in the recipe. For additional sweetness, add more maple syrup!!!

                  Man, it's a DD today, and I'm feeling hungry just looking at that picture!

                  Edited to add: So I'm not posting this in the recipe section because I don't really think it's primal since I used rice flour.
                  Last edited by diene; 05-27-2013, 12:44 PM.

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                  • #24
                    5/28/13

                    Food
                    protein shake (~200 calories)
                    BCAAs mixed with coconut oil, unsweetened chocolate, maple syrup, and sun butter -- like a sun butter cup! (This is the first time I've taken BCAAs in a week--forgot to take it a bunch of times last week. Since I stopped taking it on DDs, I've been forgetting to take it on UDs too.)
                    1 banana
                    1 tbsp sun butter
                    1 slice of apple cinnamon raisin cake (this cake is better after refrigeration)
                    3 sweet rice cakes
                    more rice cakes (not sweet)
                    Buffalo chicken salad (445 calories)
                    Steak Diane (556 calories)
                    frozen yogurt (at least I verified that it was made with sugar and not HFCS)
                    couple of lychees
                    some rum
                    2 more small slices of apple cinnamon raisin cake w/cream cheese
                    small amount of sun butter
                    a bite of feta cheese

                    Workout
                    Crossfit
                    Last edited by diene; 05-29-2013, 05:49 AM.

                    My journal

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                    • #25
                      5/29/13

                      Skipped the protein shake for the first time today.

                      I started feeling sore yesterday afternoon (DOMS from Monday's WOD), and today I'm super sore. Still went to crossfit this morning though. Still practicing engaging my core at all times. Going to try practicing the poses Zoe suggested later.

                      So my DDs had been getting way easier, but I guess skipping the protein shake after crossfit this morning has made it harder again.

                      So at 2:50 pm I had a couple pieces of broccoli. Then had a few more pieces, I think, around 5. That's all I ate, except that when I was making my BCAA concoction, I licked a small amount of coconut oil off the spoon.

                      It's weird cuz I was pretty hungry in the afternoon, but when I got home from work (late, close to 10 pm), I wasn't hungry at all.

                      Workout
                      Crossfit
                      Last edited by diene; 05-30-2013, 09:59 AM.

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                      • #26
                        5/30/13

                        Weight was 137 this morning, which was a new low for recent times. Probably has something to do with the fact that I only ate a bit of broccoli yesterday.

                        Food
                        slice of apple cinnamon raisin cake (last slice )
                        a couple spoonfuls of raw vanilla yogurt
                        spoonful of sun butter
                        protein shake (~200 cal)
                        BCAAs in coconut oil, unsweetened chocolate, maple syrup, and sun butter
                        sirloin with small amount of broccoli (~460 cal, probably negligible carbs b/c I ate most of the broccoli yesterday)
                        spaghetti bolognese (with spaghetti squash) (605 cal; 46 g carbs, 8 g fiber)
                        1 banana
                        frozen yogurt (yeah, I know I said I'd stop eating this, but I haven't. At least it's made with sugar and not HFCS!)
                        More spaghetti bolognese (I ate most of another portion--yikes--that's a lot of food, considering the fact that I'm planning on making primal pizza tonight, but apparently I can eat like a pig on UDs and still lose weight so that's what I'm gonna do until the weight loss stops.)
                        a couple of lychees
                        1 drink (snap with seltzer water)
                        primal pizza
                        1 small apple

                        Since I saw that my weight had hit a new low this morning, I've become hopeful that I'll be able to continue to lose weight without restricting on up days. I was becoming concerned that my weight loss would stall since I've been eating a TON on up days. It's like doing the eating a ton experiment, except only every other day.

                        On Tuesday I was thinking that I've been eating way too many carbs and that I should limit my intake to 100-150 g per day. But then I realized that since I eat very few carbs on DDs, that maybe I should double that number for UDs so that I'll average 100-150 g per day. I think that's the thing to do for now. So I'll be aiming for roughly 200-300 g per day without really weighing everything like a crazy person.

                        Workout
                        Crossfit
                        45-minute pilates
                        Last edited by diene; 05-31-2013, 10:16 AM.

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                        • #27
                          Hello Diene

                          That's so great that you're losing! You must be delighted. How tall are you out of interest?

                          Btw, I totally disregard the belief that carbs make you fat. That's never been my experience... Any time I was really thin, I was on a low fat diet.
                          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                          - Ray Peat

                          Comment


                          • #28
                            Hey, hey, see I got my new username!!!

                            I'm 5'4"--same height as ombat but like 20 pounds heavier than her.

                            I don't think carbs make you fat either, but I just don't know if it's healthy to eat tons and tons of carbs all the time, you know. When I got my blood test in April, my fasting glucose was 92 mg/dL, which I think is a bit high. The upper end of the healthy range is 95, but, you know, those cut-offs are all arbitrary so I really don't see the difference between 92 and 96. Anyway, I'd be more comfortable if I could get it down to the 80s.

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                            • #29
                              Originally posted by diene View Post
                              Hey, hey, see I got my new username!!!

                              I'm 5'4"--same height as ombat but like 20 pounds heavier than her.

                              I don't think carbs make you fat either, but I just don't know if it's healthy to eat tons and tons of carbs all the time, you know. When I got my blood test in April, my fasting glucose was 92 mg/dL, which I think is a bit high. The upper end of the healthy range is 95, but, you know, those cut-offs are all arbitrary so I really don't see the difference between 92 and 96. Anyway, I'd be more comfortable if I could get it down to the 80s.
                              Well, Derp or Zach would be able to argue the case for carbs more. Personally I just eat what I want now... I think once you're avoiding processed food most things sort themselves out... unless you have allergies, or specific conditions or whatnot.

                              Hey, btw - if you're worried that you're developing Hashis you could get a scan of your thyroid. THat's how my mum was eventually diagnosed.
                              "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                              In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                              - Ray Peat

                              Comment


                              • #30
                                Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                                Well, Derp or Zach would be able to argue the case for carbs more. Personally I just eat what I want now... I think once you're avoiding processed food most things sort themselves out... unless you have allergies, or specific conditions or whatnot.

                                Hey, btw - if you're worried that you're developing Hashis you could get a scan of your thyroid. THat's how my mum was eventually diagnosed.
                                I don't think I can afford a scan now. And I don't think I could convince a doc to give me one either because my TSH isn't high enough yet.

                                Oh, and I talked about restricting carbs (if 200-300g is really restricting), but it hasn't happened yet.

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