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Random Thoughts (Confessions of an Obsessed Mind or My PB Journal)

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  • diene, I feel/understand the your pain. I felt it when I ended a 20 year marriage even when I KNEW it was well past time. Things that helped me include:
    1. Reading the book Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway
    2. Making a list of all the negative things done or said to me/reasons why the relationship doesn't work and reading it over and over when my resolve wavered.
    3. Learning to sit in my own anxiety instead of doing things that might ease the feelings temporarily but hurt me or others long term.
    4. Realizing/embracing the fact that I'd rather be healthy alone than sick with someone else.

    It does get better but takes time.

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    • Thanks, marcadav. I've been learning to feel all of the pain, embrace it, and walk through it that way. I think I'll be okay. I'm slightly afraid that I'm using FB guy as an analgesic, but I swear that I had every intention of not contacting him for a few days...but he messaged me...And then I didn't have the self-control to not talk to him.

      I think it'll be okay though. I hope. Well, he'll probably just think that I'm fat anyway.

      You guys, I'm going to need your help picking an outfit...

      I'm thinking jeans, a cute top, and a hoodie. I want it to be casual. Somewhere between friends and a date.



      Sent from my SPH-L300 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

      My journal

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      • Nice pea coat or something instead of hoodie? Maybe I have a bias against hoodies...


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
        ------
        HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

        My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


        Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

        " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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        • Hell nah hoodies are awesome

          Make America Great Again

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          • Leather jackets and pea coats all the way.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
            ------
            HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

            My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


            Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

            " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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            • I do like leather jackets, I have a temple of jawnz one my moms bought me a few years ago for my birthday. Had to be tailored because it was boxy on my frame.
              Make America Great Again

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              • I don't like peacoats, they're too upscale for me. I can't do urban shit in them. I guess I feel uncomfortable in them.

                Also euphoric neckbeards ruined peacoats with fedoras.
                Make America Great Again

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                • Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                  I don't like peacoats, they're too upscale for me. I can't do urban shit in them. I guess I feel uncomfortable in them.

                  Also euphoric neckbeards ruined peacoats with fedoras.
                  <3 peacoats precisely for that reason. dress up dress down perfect for my purposes.




                  Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
                  ------
                  HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                  My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                  Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                  " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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                  • Originally posted by turquoisepassion View Post
                    <3 peacoats precisely for that reason. dress up dress down perfect for my purposes.




                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
                    Ugh tried to delete that post but it won't let me edit due to the heart thingy being read as part of the code.

                    Sorry to hijack your journal di.

                    Back on point: wearing a hoodie covers up the cute top right? Or is it a zip down??

                    I still vote a jacket that makes him wanna touch you. Textures like leather, satin, lace, fur and velvet are sexy for a reason.



                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
                    ------
                    HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                    My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                    Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                    " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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                    • No worries, hijack away.

                      My problem is that I don't have most of my stuff right now. I moved my stuff in a pod, and it's in storage right now. All I have are two suitcases and whatever clothes are in them

                      I have two jackets that are sort of like peacoats but not here with me. And it's not cold enough for that anyway. Don't own any leather jackets.

                      I don't even know if I have my best pair of jeans. Sigh. What was I thinking when I was packing?

                      I'm going to go through my clothes and post some pictures later.

                      Sent from my SPH-L300 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

                      My journal

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                      • Ugh! Just wrote half a post and accidentally closed the tab and now have to rewrite it.

                        I went out with FB guy Thursday night and then again yesterday during the day. Meeting for the first time wasn't as awkward as I had feared. We even went out to dinner (my idea of a nightmare first date), but it was okay. The worst first date I ever went on was with someone I didn't really know (we had only met once), and we went out to dinner but had nothing to talk about. It was really awkward so I kept getting more and more drunk, but that didn't help either. Anyway, that didn't happen here, and I didn't get drunk either.

                        I had sex with him yesterday. Yup, you read that correctly. Too soon? Maybe, maybe not. If I like a guy, I'm not one for playing coy. And given the substance of the things we've talked about (our attitudes towards sex being one of them), I really didn't think that there was any point in waiting.

                        That said, there's still a lot to worry about here. I'm usually pretty afraid of getting hurt (who isn't, right), and when I start developing strong feelings for a guy in a situation like this, I'll try to quash the feeling. But I really liked moluv's attitude towards falling in love and experiencing heartache and that poem she posted in that other thread (can't remember which one, but I'm going to look for it in a sec). So I've decided not to be afraid this time. What's the worst thing that can happen? I get my heart broken, but that is beautiful too. I would relish the heartache...

                        I also realize that there's a good chance that this is a rebound for me or whatever (even though I'm not even entirely sure I know what a rebound is or why people have them). But I guess it's too late to worry about that now. FB guy knows that rebound is a possibility as well since he brought it up at one point a few weeks ago.

                        Well, all this doesn't mean that I'm not going to obsess over whether he's going to call/text me today. I hate it, HATE it when guys don't call/text the day after you have sex with them, unless it's understood that it's a one-night stand or a friends-with-benefits thing. I think he will, unless he's totally not into me, which I guess is possible although there's no real evidence for that, but I always think that...

                        My journal

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                        • Found it! And I'm re-posting it here since I love it so much. Thanks, moluv!

                          When love beckons to you, follow him,
                          Though his ways are hard and steep.
                          And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
                          Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
                          And when he speaks to you believe in him,
                          Though his voice may shatter your dreams
                          as the north wind lays waste the garden.

                          For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
                          Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
                          So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

                          ~Kahlil Gibran on love, from "The Prophet"

                          My journal

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                          • Well... You already know "him" for some time anyway so second date isn't a big deal. It isn't a big deal if you barely know him either... But you know what I mean.

                            What'd you end up wearing (lol)?

                            How is reality of meeting him in person vs his online persona?

                            If it is love... Go for it. The more I grow the more I realize real love is so hard to find. I didn't believe in love until I found it... And when I did I found a side of myself I never knew I had.


                            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk - now Free
                            ------
                            HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                            My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                            Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                            " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by turquoisepassion View Post
                              If it is love... Go for it. The more I grow the more I realize real love is so hard to find. I didn't believe in love until I found it... And when I did I found a side of myself I never knew I had.
                              Wow, that's beautiful, turquoise!

                              On Thursday, I wore tight-fitting jeans and a black see-through peasant top with a black tank top underneath. Oh, and a black hoodie (sorry!), but it was a zip-up and I didn't wear it the whole time. Yesterday, I wore a dress.

                              Thursday I thought that he was kinda odd in person. I don't think I would have liked him that much had I not already known him. Neither of us is super outgoing so you can imagine how weird it was. I don't think his online persona is fake or inaccurate. It's just that for those of us who are introverted, it's much easier to type words on a screen than it is to interact with another person face to face.

                              Well, rather, he does have an online persona based on his FB posts, and that is somewhat contrived. But that was obvious to me as soon as I started chatting to him over IM. What I meant was that his personality over IM isn't fake/inaccurate. And he was already a lot more normal yesterday.

                              Oh, he just sent me a message on FB saying that he's writing me an email...It was followed by a <3 so I'm guessing that it's not going to say something like thanks but no thanks, lol!

                              My journal

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                              • WOW. Big news on here!!! Very happy for you Di! I dont think it makes a difference how quickly you sleep with someone... you just need to be ready, and some people are ready sooner than others.

                                From my experience, it doesnt matter when a guy contacts you after first time sex. It took YG a day and a hlaf to call me after we had sex the first time (torturous for me), but then it turned out that he was as scared as I was afterwards and he didnt want to smother me. What I'm learning is that when two people fall for each other their minds go into the craziest places. You have to stay centred and each of you need to weather your own storms... and meet in the middle.

                                xx
                                Last edited by YogaBare; 10-27-2013, 11:33 AM.
                                "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                                In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                                - Ray Peat

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