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Random Thoughts (Confessions of an Obsessed Mind or My PB Journal)

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  • I'm definitely an introvert. I'm not usually that nervous on interviews, but I was really nervous yesterday because I really wanted that job. It was also a phone interview, and I was bombarded by questions from like 8 people.

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    • I used to be a major introvert, but I massively overcame it over the years. I know it sounds stupid, but actually learning social skills is neglected in our world, and just taking time to learn a few things made a huge difference to my confidence, and the way I related to people. Brought me from being very socially anxious to being pretty lively. Confidence is only part of it though. Mood has a lot to do with it. I was 50:50 for a long time, now with the progesterone I'm more like 80:20!

      Di, are you still hula-ing? I just found this video and it's given me some nice ideas for how to progress! Thought you might like it.

      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

      - Ray Peat

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      • Okay, so I guess that interview wasn't a complete bust cuz they invited me to an in-person interview. This actually creates some insanity in my life cuz the in-person interview is going to be at the end of the month, right when I'm moving to CA. Perfect timing? Not really cuz now I'm not going to know where I'm going to move to. I've been talking with some friends about getting a place together, and we were thinking about getting a place starting Oct. 1st. Now, I'm going to have to move that back to Nov. 1st, and, in the meantime, I have no idea where I'm going to live in October. I'm getting to CA during the last week of Sept. and staying with a friend for a week. But I can't really stay there for more than a week. I might be able to stay with some other friends or maybe just find a room on airbnb, I guess.

        Well, it's better than not getting the job.

        Hey YB - how did you over come your introvertedness? That's really not a word. Any tips? I'm super socially inept. It would be nice to fix it or at least improve on it.

        Thanks for the video. It looks pretty cool. I'll have to watch it with the sound on when I get home and incorporate some of it into my routine!

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        • Do they do month-to-month rentals out there?
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          • Originally posted by diene View Post
            Okay, so I guess that interview wasn't a complete bust cuz they invited me to an in-person interview.
            Do I get to say -- I told you so?

            It's only three weeks, I'm sure you'll find a place.

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            • I think there are places that rent month to month, but it's not that common. It's also possible to find temporary/short-term rentals, like week-to-week ones, but these are usually more expensive than normal rentals. They're usually $350 or more per week. Yikes!

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              • Originally posted by Graycat View Post
                Do I get to say -- I told you so?
                Yeah, I guess things always seem worse to me than they really are. Or maybe they're just really desperate.

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                • Thanks for the video. It looks pretty cool. I'll have to watch it with the sound on when I get home and incorporate some of it into my routine!
                  My routine was totally basic, and this gave me loads of ideas! It's actually a lot of fun to expand the range of movement. Challenging too!

                  Originally posted by diene View Post
                  Hey YB - how did you over come your introvertedness? That's really not a word. Any tips? I'm super socially inept. It would be nice to fix it or at least improve on it.
                  Great question First tell me: how are you socially inept? What do you do / not do?

                  It's going to sound strange, but the first thing I did was develop compassion for other people. I started to understand where other people were coming from, and when I understood that most people have insecurities, neurosis, paranoia, people became a lot less scary and I was able to relate to them better. The main thing is that you have to learn to like people, not see others as the enemy. This is the biggest difficulty I see in people.

                  Then there's really fundamental things that we should really be taught in school but never are. Like, ask other people questions and don't just blab about yourself. A lot of the time, people who are interesting are interesting because they're interested. There's so many little things like that, I don't know if you want more examples or it's a bit obvious.

                  Eye contact is a big thing, and is really hard to get right for some people. I used to find it really hard to look people in the eye, and no one trusts someone who can't look them in the eye! My problem was that I was overanalysing everything that people were saying, so eye contact became very awkward. I was also afraid of showing them who I was, in case they would think I was X / Y / Z.

                  Overthinking is basically the enemy of social interaction. These days I'm on fire socially, and it's because when I'm with people I'm not thinking so much. As a result the interaction is more spontaneous, and lighter.

                  Developing a thicker skin is important too. That's been my biggest challenge! I'm doing better on it these days though...
                  "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                  In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                  - Ray Peat

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                  • When I meet people I don't know, I often have no idea what to say to them. I find it almost impossible to make small talk, at least when I'm sober. I also have a hard time making eye contact. I don't think it's because I'm over-analyzing or over-thinking or concerned about what they might think of me. It's an instinctive thing. I instinctively avoid eye contact--I think it's just cuz I'm shy. I don't usually overanalyze while I'm interacting with others. I might over-analyze later on if the person in question is a love interest, but, otherwise, I actually don't care that much what people think about me.

                    Mostly I just don't know what to talk about with people so I usually just don't say anything. My natural expression is unsmiling--if I had a dollar every time complete strangers on the street told me to smile or said things like "Smile, it' can't be that bad," I'd be rich! It doesn't come off as friendly so people often think I'm standoffish. The fact that I also avoid eye contact makes it worse.

                    I think I'm just really shy and introverted and talking to/meeting strangers makes me anxious. And for some reason, I don't come off as a nice but shy person with a shy smile, I come off as standoffish and cold (and possibly mean). It's a combination of (1) I don't smile that much, (2) I don't make eye contact, and (3) I don't know what to say so I just don't say anything. There's probably other body language things that I'm not even aware of that give off a bad impression.

                    By the way, I just told my boss that I'm moving. This is getting real!

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                    • I can't do eye contact too!!! My #1 obstacle in interviews last month.

                      I also come off as a B* for being shy. Darn my scientist geeky upbringing! I just want to hide behind my books and science documentaries.
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                      HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                      My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                      Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                      " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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                      • I forced myself to make eye contact with people while I was in college & it eventually became habit. I can now monitor my anxiety by how much I'm avoiding eye contact. A bad day means I'm trying to stare at the ground while talking to someone. It was very uncomfortable and took a lot of reinforcement, but it's possible to train yourself out of.

                        Small talk is awkward, but I just pick a topic that interests me. If they can't run with that, oh well. I tried. Honestly, the weather is a great topic, as well as "what did you do last weekend?" "Doing anything fun this weekend?" Talking about your move right now is a great topic too! Practicing on cashiers/waiters is good experience since it's such a brief interaction, you may never see this person again, and they won't remember you.

                        I used to be accused of looking pissed all of the time. People were apparently afraid of me in high school, but I was just a depressed & anxious little teen!
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                        • I'm a scientist too and generally don't play well with lawyers! Hah!

                          I know I should practice making eye contact more frequently. During interviews, I usually try to force myself. Not sure if that just makes things worse cuz it's unnatural or what.

                          I don't try to look at the ground when talking to people. I've gotten really good at looking at their face without making eye contact. It's really weird.

                          Small talk with cashiers and waiters? No way! I mean, talking about the weather or their weekend--it all seems so fake to me! It's like why bother. But I guess you bother in order to improve so you can do it when you need to. :/

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                          • Diene: so random but since you brought up you are a scientist... Is your name referring to the organic chemical structure?

                            http://imgur.com/sSClZ6z
                            ^i always think of that joke when I see your name.
                            ------
                            HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                            My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                            Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                            " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

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                            • Haha! That's hilarious. I love it!

                              Yup, my name refers to the chemical structure.


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                              • New profile pic! Lol.
                                ------
                                HCLF: lean red meat, eggs, low-fat dairy, bone broth/gelatin, fruits, seafood, liver, small amount of starch (oatmeal, white rice, potatoes, carrots), small amount of saturated fat (butter/ghee/coconut/dark chocolate/cheese).

                                My Journal: gelatin experiments, vanity pictures, law school rants, recipe links


                                Food blog: GELATIN and BONE BROTH recipes

                                " The best things in life are free and the 2nd best are expensive!" - Coco Chanel

                                Comment

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