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Erm, if it is, I don't know actually. Might have to go and do some google research (rough translation = nonsense on stilts) to see if there's a link between drastic diet changes and hormone regulation.
Well, journal, I am definitely feeling brighter today. Just done a couple of hours work in my own garden/veg patch after work instead of sulking inside, so must be getting more motivated again.
Was it the wine? Was it the sugar in the wine? Was it the not-so-good sleep caused by drinking the wine?
I truly hope it wasn't the sugar, because today I have bought a LARGE box of early strawberries (mine aren't in flower yet) and they smell so very, very wonderful. I am going to eat them (when I've digested dinner). I am. All of them.
Hey strawberry girl, how's your day? Glad you are feeling better.....
I have taken a last minute decision to disappear for a few days on some kind of spiritual recalibration type trip. But i think the biggest challenge may be staying primal while on the road.... (Or the train, bus, boat etc). However IF is always a good option if this cave woman is unable to hunt down the nearest waitrose ;-)
Ps Vino Moroso is off the list for a while.
If the primal lifestyle is like a formula one race, everybody on this site is in pole position.
Even more alert today. Definitely found the culprit. Blast.
A disappearing job sounds wonderful. You'll just have to eat cold lumps of meat and raw veg from whatever shops you pass. Yum.
One of the best trips I ever had was here in the UK. I started from London and just drove North, further North, further North, through all the mountainous bits I could find (I had quite a few weeks) - getting out and walking/camping of course at the most rugged parts. It turned into quite the Ultima Thule epic when I finally found myself on one of the tiny islands off the north of Orkney and had to stop, unable to travel further North without ending up in Iceland. Which I did the next year...
But it was glorious not having any set distance, goal, or expectations of what the next day would be. Just exploring.
My dinner - the only dinner I have in the fridge as Friday is shopping day - is bloody well off. I've been looking forward to that steak for days. DAYS. And now what do I have? Asparagus. In butter, yes, but just asparagus. It's a 20 mile journey to the nearest shop with food and I can't justify the cost of the diesel - yes, it's also payday on Fridays - and it probably wouldn't have any acceptable meat anyway. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks.
Sigh. Being the self-sufficient type, I could rustle up some elderly root veg that are still lurking about I suppose. Hmm, a goose fat roast... but they're VEG. I don't want VEG, I want MEAT. MY MEAT THAT I BOUGHT BECAUSE IT LOOKED SO... SO... SO... GOOD.
So, roast the elderly veg, and mix it into... into... well, there's a tub of greek yoghurt in the fridge. This will be exciting.
Right, things are looking up. I've found a tin of tomatoes and some elderly mushrooms.
What with the elderly veg and all the herbs in the world growing outside the back door, I almost have ratatouille, as long as no-one squeals on me to Jamie Oliver. Add some (a lot) of cheese, plus a bottle of the elderberry wine I made last year and found whilst rummaging, and I almost have a party on my hands. I've lit the fire since it's just starting hailing () outside, the cats haven't vomited up any bits of rodent today, and things are not at all bad, actually.
[ don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak don't think about steak ]
Dear journal, I am sorry I have neglected you. I haven't cheated, promise. Thing is, my house was flooded by the river on Saturday and I've been a bit wet and busy. Right, that's sitting-down-time over, on with the work...
On the other hand, there's something to be said for this paleo / fasting / fatburning business, above and beyond the raptures I've already been in. I think if I were still on the old bread'n'pasta wheel I would not have managed so well this week.
[ short break for illustrative story! A lady at work fainted last week - one moment walking, the next, 'squeak' and full length on the floor. She's absolute fine now, BUT, but the interesting thing was how everyone reacted, after the initial flurry of first aid positioning was over - everyone asked her what she had last eaten since breakfast/had she had enough to eat/what had she eaten that morning/had she eaten something recently etc etc. It was only about 11.30. It made me realise just how used to the idea we've all become - that food is something that must be shoveled down every two to three hours or you'll feel faint, your blood pressure will drop, your blood sugar will drop, you'll get dizzy, you'll be ill, got to eat, eat, eat! /end story ]
I haven't had a hot meal since last Friday. I haven't had a 'meal' since last Friday. But I have scarfed down kilos of cold roast meat, gooey cheese and tomatoes whenever there's been time. And I AM tired, can't deny it. But I've also been up at 4.30, going to bed at midnight. On Saturday I speed-lifted 75% of my entirely worldly belongings and furniture in under 20 minutes. And I've spent the rest of the week carrying it in and out of the house for drying / hosing / throwing in the skip. I've also done my 40 hours in the office this week. Gutted the kitchen. Cleaned the barn. Sorted out the soggy paperwork from the last 20 years. So 'tired' is normal. What I'm NOT, is running on adrenaline, believe it or not. I'm sleeping peacefully, I'm fairly laidback, I'm not twitchy during the day. I'm not exhausted, I'm not stressed. I am, finally, that magical sounding word - resilient. Because my body is coping. Because I've been paleo for a few months now, it's used to making the most of what it gets and not struggling with what it doesn't want - I've just been able to keep going in a steady slog. Not wearing myself out, just plodding on.
Admittedly, that is probably not the most dazzling encomium that Mark has ever received, but it's been a bloody life-saver this week and I have been amazed at just how well this diet (in the sense of 'things you eat', rather than 'shedding weight') boosts your body, which boosts your mind.
Bah. I don't understand why, but I can't get to the second page of my thread. Here's hoping this will post anyway.
I think my paleo food needs some updating. It appears my diet, when under stress, defaults to meat or cheese. Meat AND cheese. Which while delicious for me, is probably causing me to slowly wither away due to a lack of something.
[ not a lack of wine however. I've had no less than 7 bottles of commiseration wine delivered by nearby-neighbours in the last 4 days. I am not lacking all the nutrients and trace minerals to be found in wine. ]
So, plan B. Log back on to whatsit, the paleo tracker site, and stick a virtual 'ideal' week's worth of food into the daily tracker. If the relative percentages turn out alright, then buy that food and nothing else. If I wish, I can comfort eat meat and cheese all I like, but by the end of the week I will have had to eat all the veg left in the fridge to bring my weekly average percentages back into shape. As long as the fridge is empty at the end of the week, I'll be getting what I need.
Sigh. Who'd have thought food could be so important when you can't just stick your head in the sand.
Right, off to investigate the nice looking Syrah that came round this afternoon...
Aha! Reordered my chronology, and now I start at the top.
Thanks, Skip. It sent me to sleep, so pros and cons, etc... Sandstone cottage so not drying particularly quickly. Will be some weeks yet before the floors dry out completely. Just me in solitary splendour on a beanbag on a damp dirt floor surrounded by nothing but four damp walls. Hoorah. Just like bothying, only with added beanbag. How did the retreat go? Where did you get to? Was it edible?
Gorged like a pig on dates today - never realised before that they're exactly what toffee should taste like, if toffee were really, really, really good. Unlooked for side-effect of drastic change in lifestyle - waist down to 22 inches (found a drowned tape measure washed under the step whilst tidying). Arse down to 33. Only a inch difference from before, but hey, it's the squidgy inch and that's what counts.
Want a day off. Have worked 17 days in a row now. Tired. On plus side, have been reading all about complexity science and the adjacent possible - will apply to conscious self and choose not to replace old furniture in old arrangement, thus opening up new phase space possibilities for use of sitting room. Will end up in quantum state of content, smeared out over numerous temporal trajectories [frivolous emoticon].
Excuse incoherence - early bed tonight I think. Trying to digest dinner. Disaster with cat food bag (flood, what else) means cats and I all had large quantities of unexpected raw beef for dinner. All nodding off now. Need to fossick about under car bonnet with brake fluid and PSF, but will have to get up earlier tomorrow I think. Sorry, really shutting up now...
I'm such a good girl. Still paleo-ing away as though it were an actual change in lifestyle/attitude, not just a try-it-and-see.
What with having no kitchen, no time, no life at the moment frankly, I did today briefly wish I could just scarf a pie from the shop instead of being picky and fussy. But I didn't. And it would have been self-destructive - I had eleven hours gardening work to fit in today, and had I been on the old ways, I would have been dragging myself about by hour 8. Instead of bouncing about being cheerful; planting out stuff of my own when I got home, and dropping in on the neighbours to pass on spare bedding plants.
I must be fatburning now ('converted'?) because where else would the energy come from if not that spare inch or so from around my arse? It's certainly not coming from the miserly mouthful of beef I had today. It's not that I haven't had moments of hunger, but let's face it, being a disorganised person as well as having tried the odd diet in my life before, hunger is not a novel sensation. Transient hunger without wobbliness IS however. I like it.
Work again tomorrow. Pah. I believe I may have said this before...
... I WANT A DAY OFF. I DO.
Nevermind. It's my birthday in a few weeks' time and I've booked the day off then, regardless of what happens. And for now? There's martini in the fridge, gin in the freezer, and a jar of olives kicking around somewhere... dirty gin martini, here I come.