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  • Saturday, June 22

    7.5 hours of sleep. Thank you, powers that be.

    Food:
    - Last night: few mac nut Hersheys kisses. Only Hawaii...
    - B: 2 eggs (in bacon grease), 2 slices of bacon, hash browns with sriracha aaall over dat shit, some cantaloupe and blueberries.
    - L: 2 chicken sausages, 2 rice cakes
    - S: some tuna salad (shallots and celery), a few hershey's kisses, jelly beans
    - D: WITH YOYO!: 2 mojitos (we poured gelatin into one of them for Z and Derp), mackerel and salmon skin sushi
    - few hersheys kisses

    BMs. Check! Think I should keep the Jack and Cokes a nightly thing.

    Lots more sun today - during another 3 mile walk with the dog and then a ride on a fire boat (T's dad is a fireman). We were on the boat for almost 2 hours and I definitely got a bit pink.

    Theeeeeeeeeeeen YOYO BAT ADVENTURE TIME! We drank mojitos and ate sushi and chatted about how much we love all of y'all! It was a bit of a surreal experience, maybe a little more than I let on to her but it was so great to talk about the things we normally do at such a distance at such close range. I might not have been very coherent but Yoyo is precisely the articulate philosopher we've all imagined her to be. Ha... Ok this is getting weird. Night everyone
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

    Comment


    • How was her accent? Did she get absolutely fluthered? (You'd be surprised how many colloquialisms there are for drunk in Irish)
      Make America Great Again

      Comment


      • Did you guys call each other by your real names or forum names?

        Comment


        • Derp, her accent made me feel like a hick. And our drinks were not strong enough for feathering- fathering- flustering- fluthering.

          Z-Bear, she told me to "call her whatever I want" which was kinda weird. I think she wanted the evening to go in an entirely different direction.
          Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

          Comment


          • Sunday, June 23

            I think I kicked T in my sleep

            Food:
            - 11am: piece of sashimi, 2 sausages of questionable ingredients (actually regret eating them) 2 pieces bacon, couple bites sushi rice
            - Rest of Day (T's grad party): small amounts of various pork (pork skin! gah! I ate it and almost gagged) and rice dishes (soy sauce), crab bake, clam dip (omg) and potato chips (a lot of clam dip and potato chips...), fruit, Jack and Mexi coke(s), mango pudding, about 900 Hershey's kisses (what? Did I exaggerate?), matcha pudding.

            The food was so rich and decadent I felt like I was going to explode one minute and would be suddenly hungry the next! Anyway I already decided before the day began that I was going to eat with no shame. And so it was. I continuously popped bits of food into my mouth for 11 hours straight with possibly an hour respite at some point in between. It. Was. Awesome. But surprisingly I don't feel full or uncomfortable.

            AND DAMN YOU PEOPLE FOR TURNING PORK AGAINST ME! Or me against pork. I have never had a problem eating any part of any creature to have ever lived and now pork makes me cringe! Thanks a lot!

            - no real BM.. Extra mag tonight. Coffee in the morning.
            - bloat is obviously a given.

            Skin
            - acne is still fine
            - rubbing aloe on my sun burnt chest. Seems to be reducing redness rather nicely.

            So I came to SF this weekend specifically because today was T's grad party, hence the ridiculous food. They had to do the party in 2 waves because she has so much family (50 cousins!) plus friends, some of whom I know from college. I lost steam really quickly, probably a combo of the MSG (some of it was catered from a Chinese place) and the unusualness of the diet in general, so I made sure to keep the Cokes (and Jack) coming every time I crashed.

            Exercise for the day included playing Just Dance on Wii and laughing until I cried. Haven't said much about exercise but I've been walking 5+ miles every day since I've been here.

            QOTD because I'm a copycat: how do you feel about food being used as a means for social interaction?
            Last edited by ombat; 06-23-2013, 10:57 PM.
            Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

            Comment


            • I think me and Ci had a conversation relating to your question once. I said i found it weird how food just seems to be in the middle of everything, and she pointed out that it'd been like that for ages. I just wonder at what point food went from just being a source of energy, to being a source of comfort, and a social medium.

              When I had my little issues with food, i hated it, lol. Because you can get away with not eating or picking at your food once or twice, but people always end up noticing. And i didn't like when they pointed it out.

              In general, i don't think it's a bad thing. Food can make you feel amazing. So why wouldn't you want to spread the 'damn this cake (or whatever food) is dayyyuum goood' vibes? Orrr you could think of it as a crutch. Fill a void in the social interaction that people can't fill (or fills in the emptiness people feel - comfort eating etc.)

              Sorry for the mini rant!
              Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

              Comment


              • I hate food as a social media. People always trying to force their food down your throat, and its unacceptable to turn it down. Id much rather eat my food when i want (which i do) and drink at social gatherings.

                Comment


                • Aww Bats, you're too kind :O (You forgot to mention how charming, funny, intelligent and modest I am ) Look forward to seeing the pic! Guys, we said that we'd email it to you (as I'm too paranoid to have my face on here), but Om if you want to put it up here too just blur out my head.

                  Derp, what other Irish-isms do you know?! Zach, she didn't say my name

                  Food as a social media: we couldn't get over how often food is referenced in America! THere are signs for it everywhere. It's a huge part of every culture, (and I believe the social aspect evolved out of practicality), but food is like God in America... omnipresent.

                  Edit: I meant to ask - is the gelatine helping your BMs? I took it this morning and finally (after two weeks of being backed up) things are improving.
                  Last edited by YogaBare; 06-24-2013, 01:34 PM.
                  "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                  In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                  - Ray Peat

                  Comment


                  • Food as a means for social interaction? LOVE IT! But I'm a glutton by nature.

                    However, I went to a baby shower over the weekend, and there was almost nothing I could eat. Everything had wheat in it--pastas, breaded chicken, cake, etc. I just ate cheese, salad, and fruit. And drowned it all in boatloads of wine, and it was fine.

                    My journal

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Driedmango View Post
                      I think me and Ci had a conversation relating to your question once. I said i found it weird how food just seems to be in the middle of everything, and she pointed out that it'd been like that for ages. I just wonder at what point food went from just being a source of energy, to being a source of comfort, and a social medium.

                      When I had my little issues with food, i hated it, lol. Because you can get away with not eating or picking at your food once or twice, but people always end up noticing. And i didn't like when they pointed it out.

                      In general, i don't think it's a bad thing. Food can make you feel amazing. So why wouldn't you want to spread the 'damn this cake (or whatever food) is dayyyuum goood' vibes? Orrr you could think of it as a crutch. Fill a void in the social interaction that people can't fill (or fills in the emptiness people feel - comfort eating etc.)

                      Sorry for the mini rant!
                      Originally posted by Zach View Post
                      I hate food as a social media. People always trying to force their food down your throat, and its unacceptable to turn it down. Id much rather eat my food when i want (which i do) and drink at social gatherings.
                      Originally posted by diene View Post
                      Food as a means for social interaction? LOVE IT! But I'm a glutton by nature.

                      However, I went to a baby shower over the weekend, and there was almost nothing I could eat. Everything had wheat in it--pastas, breaded chicken, cake, etc. I just ate cheese, salad, and fruit. And drowned it all in boatloads of wine, and it was fine.
                      I have experienced all of these things. I think there's a difference between using meal times as times to share with family and friends and using family and friends as an excuse to indulge or pressure people. Some of my most fond memories involve lazy, outdoor barbecues, even at times when I was most anxious about food. But there were also plenty of times when I missed spending time with people because I didn't want to deal with my inability to eat things or have to talk to people about it.

                      Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                      Aww Bats, you're too kind :O (You forgot to mention how charming, funny, intelligent and modest I am ) Look forward to seeing the pic! Guys, we said that we'd email it to you (as I'm too paranoid to have my face on here), but Om if you want to put it up here too just blur out my head.
                      And gorgeous (she really is). I'll email the pic.

                      Food as a social media: we couldn't get over how often food is referenced in America! THere are signs for it everywhere. It's a huge part of every culture, (and I believe the social aspect evolved out of practicality), but food is like God in America... omnipresent.
                      It's a bit disgusting. People can't get along here for more than a few hours without food and it's more often thought of as entertainment than something of practical necessity.

                      Edit: I meant to ask - is the gelatine helping your BMs? I took it this morning and finally (after two weeks of being backed up) things are improving.
                      I feel like it does.... sometimes. I have had BMs without taking it and I have not had BMs taking it. I just take it.
                      Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

                      Comment


                      • Monday, June 24

                        Sorry this is all over the place. Thoughts, questions, comments, advice regarding anything here is encouraged and appreciated.

                        Food/Digestion:
                        - B: leftover pork on rice w/ a fried egg. I said no thank you to the gravy (thickened w flour)
                        - L: Vietnamese five spice chicken w rice noodles, jelly bellies (felt like I was eating chemicals but I just couldn't stop myself! I like the marshmallow ones)
                        - S: back in WA: 3 rice cakes, 2 thin slices of cheese.
                        - D: chicken w prosciutto (omg stop it with the pork already) and cheese. Some hard cider (Yes, day 5 of alcohol)

                        - BMs: woke this morning with loose stool/D. Honestly I'd rather that than the opposite.
                        - Bloat. Yes.

                        Brooding on Food:
                        During these past 5 days, I was the most relaxed when it came to food than I've been in 2 years! I never even thought about food until I was actually eating (how it should be) and my digestion was fine (other than bloating) so I wasn't worrying about constipation. I just know now that I'm back home, buying and cooking all my own food, I'm going to revert back to thinking about every bite that goes into my mouth. Looking over everything I've eaten in the past few days, it's all been meat and rice or potatoes with supplemental fruit and dairy instead of mostly fruit and dairy with supplemental meat and rice. That plus the daily alcohol. I think, like Derp and Yoyo suggest, it really does have a lot to do with the mentality.

                        Also, I had gluten by the way of soy sauce every day and didn't notice any obviously adverse symptoms like headaches or joint pain (a little joint pain this morning but I did spend 11 hours stuffing myself with MSG pork yesterday). Yes I was tired and bloated but I've been tired and bloated anyway.

                        Energy
                        Speaking of which, my energy has been in the toilet for the past few weeks. What's been so significant about it is that I've been waking up tired which is unusual; I've always woken up refreshed and then crashed later on in the day. It is true that my sleep hasn't been so great since the summer began - waking up by alarm to get to work, my cousins' cats meowing incessantly throughout the night which sometimes disturbs me. Another thought is whether dairy really agrees with me or not. My last antibodies test showed a response to whey. That was about 1.5 years ago and I don't know if those tests should even be taken seriously or not, but the info's out there. The fatigue is just really starting to get to me - especially since it's starting to affect my mood.

                        Mental state:
                        I almost started crying on the flight back to Seattle from SF. I feel like I'm coming down off of a high and apparently I'm the only one who didn't see it coming. I got on the phone with my mom this evening and her first words were, "I saw the pictures of from this weekend on Facebook. I haven't seen a smile like that you in forever. Thank god you're back at your cousins' or else you'd be at home alone sobbing into your pillow right now" It's true. These last few days were so carefree and void of any anxiety; walking through the market after I got back to my cousins' I felt like those feelings were being ripped away from me. I walked around the market like a zombie, picking up some items I didn't even want (cheese) before giving up and going home. I was so relieved that I didn't have to cook for myself tonight because I donít think I could have made a decision. I'm so confused. Do I go back to dairy and fruit, something that feels inherently wrong to me, or stick with meat and potatoes with dairy and fruit here and there when I feel like it? First world problems, right? Anyway, I think I'm just tired and will probably feel better once I'm restedÖ if that ever happens.

                        On a happier note, T's entire family wouldn't stop hugging and kissing me at the airport today before I left, my cousins were excited to see me when I got back, and friends have been asking for me for the past week that I've been away. I'm not mentioning this out of conceit, but staying with T's family, coming back to my cousins, and having friends to see when I go home at the end of the week has cemented in me - more than usual - how truly fortunate I am to have such loving, caring, and selfless people in my life. I don't take any of these people for granted.
                        Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

                        Comment


                        • Just eat whatever you want! Follow your cravings.

                          Still havnt got an email!

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by CiKi90
                            Battyy, I think you need a big hug! Even more than what your family gave you today. ^__^

                            As far as food goes, whenever I was trying to rid myself of orthorexic tendencies, I tried to cook for myself as little as possible. It was scary, but it helped me get over some things, at least a little. I let my cupboards and fridge get empty, and I made it a point to not buy any "real" food for a little while. This was back when I was trying to gain weight in December. I started eating a lot, and then I went to my parents' house for christmas. Having someone decide for you, make the food for you, and take the rest away (no leftovers at home) really can do something for your mindset. So, if you can, try to maybe go out to eat with friends a little more often, let them pick the place, and try not to pick the "healthiest" thing, per se, but the tastiest thing. Maybe it will work for you, maybe it won't, but I found it to be very helpful. I went from having very ...uhm... noticeable... panic attacks in restaurants, to just going slightly crazy in my mind now, but way less often. Upgrade! And I'm still working on it.

                            As far as energy goes, maybe you should get a vitamin deficiency test. Or, you could go to a site like cronometer.com and punch in your staple foods, play around with the program a little bit to see if you're really missing something in your diet. I don't really have any other advice on this, but it'd be a good (and free) place to start digging a bit. Other options could be sleepy tea, aromatherapy, and making a routine out of your bedtime schedule that is very calming for you. Maybe even some feng shui? lol.

                            Just hang in there. Like you said, you are surrounded by people that love you dearly. They are supporting you every step of the way, and even if you are having trouble finding your way in health, you will always have them to depend on. <3
                            Ci, you are so sweet, thank you!

                            That would do wonders for my emotional health even if it doesn't do anything for my physical health. I would much rather eat a variety of foods out with friends and be bloated and exhausted than eat a handful of foods that I could only eat at home and still be bloated and exhausted. But I've already started to come to this place within the past month. I will take a bite of this or that and not worry about it, like I did with the soy sauce! There's no way I would have even touched anything with a smidgen of gluten in it months ago. Part of it is freeing, but part of it just feels like I'm giving up on trying to heal myself.

                            My blood work regarding vitamins and minerals is always in range. When I first starting going to doctors I was told I had electrolyte imbalances which would cause fatigue but I play with magnesium and sodium all the time and it doesn't seem to make the fatigue go away. The cronometer is a good idea, though! Other than that I don't have trouble falling asleep. It's the cats making noise in the middle of the night or my cousins or housemate waking up early and making noise, etc. And it light so late here that it's difficult to fall asleep before ten. So.... I should probably go to bed now
                            Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Zach View Post
                              Just eat whatever you want! Follow your cravings.

                              Still havnt got an email!
                              Like I said, I'd rather eat what I want and feel like shit than eat a selective diet and still feel like shit.

                              OK GODDAMNIT ITS COMING
                              Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

                              Comment


                              • Here's the conundrum, Zach: do I try your diet because it helped you so greatly even though none of your foods appeal to me, or should I eat what I want even though it causes me physical distress? "Just eat whatever you want" will not evoke from me a reaction that you'd expect from almost anyone else. What I want to eat is carnitas with onions and corn tamales but I will spend the next 2 hours doubled over in pain. What I want to eat is roasted brussels sprouts but I won't be able to button my pants afterwards.

                                I have tried to like dairy for the past 3 weeks. I don't like dairy! I like yoghurt, actually, but after not eating it for 5 days, I've realized that you were right - it does cause bloating. But it also causes BMs, which I need.

                                Sorry, I'm all over the place tonight. Cue to go to bed.
                                Last edited by ombat; 06-24-2013, 11:28 PM.
                                Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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