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B*tchapalooza 2013

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  • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
    Oh me too! I don't like my potatoes perfectly smooth. As far as kitchen equipment goes I lean toward fewer.
    Well, then - if it's good enough for a chef, it's certainly good enough for me.

    Originally posted by Goldie View Post
    My son learned to cook because he liked to eat! He was around 15 or 16 when he started. He asked me to show him how to make homemade mac 'n cheese (I make it with rice instead of noodles), because it was his favorite food. Once he learned, he'd make himself a batch a couple times a week, and he would unleash HELL on anyone who ate "his" mac 'n cheese! Of course, after I reminded him whose money bought the ingredients, then he'd only unleash HECK.

    Joanie, go to Juli Bauer's site PaleOMG. She has a recipe for mayo made with avocado oil that's foolproof and takes 1 minute to assemble the ingredients and 15 seconds to actually make. It makes less than a cup, so it's pretty easy to use up quickly. Best. Mayo. Evah!

    I put my tomato soup in my blender, seeds, skin, and all, and after a minute on high speed it comes out perfectly smooth. If you have a decent food processor, that would probably work fine also.
    I'll check it out. I think one of my problems is putting in the oil. It's really mentally hard for me to use as much oil in something as mayonnaise needs. My brain keeps telling me to stop.

    I have a both, so I'll figure it out. I'm looking forward to homemade tomato soup. It's been so many years since I had canned that I figure my brain has forgotten what to compare it to.

    Originally posted by Greensprout View Post
    Ah, my dear, you are too kind. I read yours and have many moments of envy for your having to deal with only yourself, not having to deal with multiple other persons needs. The grass is always greener and all that shit. But I'd be happy with a NoLa sloth-like stalker . Sometime in the next couple of years I expect to be there for a holiday, and you can bet I'll be looking you up!
    Sloth always wins out over stalking. haha. I'm simply too lazy to ever stalk really well. And I'd love to meet you if I'm still here. I'm getting a bit grumpy about living here, and I'm a firm believer in getting out of Dodge when I start bitching about it on a regular basis.

    Originally posted by Zanna View Post
    That's how I make my macaroni and cheese. For years, my kids would ask for Kraft, after I had made amazing homemade stuff but now they like mine and wonder if Kraft changed their recipe to make it so tasteless, lol. That process you described is classic French cooking. Make the roux, add hot milk (now a bechamel), and stir in shredded cheese (and we have a mornay!). So, so good, I also add grated nutmeg, it really does add that flavor needed for Mac and cheese.
    When are you making your next batch? :::looking at Google maps to plot course to FL:::

    Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
    My mom always added nutmeg to bechamel and mornay sauces too.
    Nutmeg and cloves are two that I'm not fond of. I know the cloves stem from not liking cooked ham as a main course. I've never understood it because I love a good deli ham sliced paper thin on a sandwich. But a big slab of ham (with cloves all over the outside) with sweet potatoes next to it was something I didn't like eating. <---how lasagna became a dish served at Easter and Christmas when I was growing up. Grown ups feel guilty when a 13 year old makes herself grilled cheese for a holiday meal.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

    Comment


    • Still a day behind.

      Thursday, July 31, 2014


      Bzitching: I just want it to cool off at night. Even with city noises (which don't really bother me much), I want to sleep with my window open. At some point in the night, I turn off my a/c - sometimes I don't even waken fully or remember doing it. But then I wake up with puffy eyes from the heat.

      The cold leftover roast beef and tomato salad was delicious. I have a bunch of red potatoes, so I think I'll make salmon and potato salad for supper tonight. And a bowl of cherries or blueberries for dessert.

      Weird: I'm not in the mood for eggs. I haven't been in over a week. I finally took the four duck eggs I had left, hard boiled them, and put them in a jar to pickle. I was worried that they'd go bad.

      This space had a bunch of stupid negativity in it. Delete.

      After watching this video:


      I think I want to be a deer urine farmer. You all know I'm going to research the start-up costs on this, right? I've thought about becoming a wind farmer, but a deer pee farmer sounds much more glamorous.

      The news today is boring. Californians face "only" a 4.2% increase in their ObuttoCare premiums next year. Since most folks are barely getting 3% raises these days... whatever. Ebola comes to the states. So, Ebola, now that you've arrived, what are you going to do? I'm going to Disney World! Birds evolved from big meat-eating dinosaurs. Old news. Some of them are vegetarians now. First, worms and bugs are meat. Second, looks like vegetarianism made them small and prone to captivity and being caught by house cats. US spending is up 0.4 percent in June. IOW, for every $1000 you spent in May, you spent $1004 in June. Huge. But, it's summer, so once you factor in extra travel and entertainment, it's just spin.

      The Pill leads to a higher risk of breast cancer, diabetes in obese women, and messes with your fertility. (All in the news.) Wow, who'd have thought that taking synthetic hormones over a long period of time might have side-effects? First, I have to say that I took birth control very seriously all my fertile life. I even took the pill as a teenager because I was more afraid of the scenario of telling my father I'd gotten pregnant than I was of cancer (teenager/young/goofy). And though I believe that birth control should be the responsibility of both people, we all know who gets knocked up and faces unplanned parenthood or going under the vacuum.

      So, here's an old lady's guide to birth control. If your lover is younger than 35, chances are he can get a boner staring at linoleum. Therefore, the whole, "I can't feel anything with a rubber," is just a big old pile of horse pucky. The phrase, "You're not getting in without a condom," is good birth control. As is oral and anal sex. Somewhere between the ages of 35 and 40, men do slow down a bit. Still, if he's waking up hard, the "can't feel" argument is pretty lame. This might be the time to try a diaphragm. I hated it, and so do a lot of women, which is probably why it has such a high fail rate (these things totally ruin spontaneous sex). After 40, one of you should make a decision. If you're over 40 and want children, you'd better get crackin' because your eggs aren't getting any younger. If he's over 40 and doesn't want to use condoms, he needs to think about getting snipped. By 45 or 50, really, one of you should be snipped. By 52-60 most women will become unfertile naturally. Can I just say here that sex post-menopause is totally cool. As is sex with a man with a vasectomy. Conclusion: use the damn condom. [/lecture]

      Useless fact: In the US, we use an A through F grading system in school. We don't use E. The reason is that we used to use an A through E grading scale, but the concern was that parents might misinterpret the E as Excellent. So around 1930, we ditched the E and replaced it with F. I wonder if by next century we'll have to change again in case some parents misinterpret the F as Fabulous or Fantastic. We could go straigt to G for your kid is a Goofball. H could be Horrendous. I could be Incomprehensibly non-performing. J's too easy: Jerk, Jack-off, etc. O would be good for Okay - don't plan on this kid taking care of you in your old age, but if he can stop sticking pencils in his nose, he might become a useful member of society.

      And another: Lamb Chop still performs with her creator's daughter, Mallory Lewis.

      Last one: The Icelandic Phallological Museum (Icelandic: Hiđ Íslenzka Ređasafn), located in Reykjavík, Iceland, houses the world's largest display of penises and penile parts. Source: Icelandic Phallological Museum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. And, if you want to see some pics: http://www.buzzfeed.com/madisonlmede...e-penis-museum

      A feast (or snack) for the eyes:



      Too much time on one's hands.









      Dude, really?

      Peace, love, and deer urine,
      J
      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

      Comment


      • ^ priceless post.. You are a hoot.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
          [
          A mate of mine says the same thing about going for a curry and having a Korma, I tend to agree....

          Originally posted by JudyCr View Post
          ^ priceless post.. You are a hoot.
          Damn right, that auto-correct and dog pic buried me....

          Comment


          • Can't unsee that dog... D;

            Salmon and potato salad is one of my favorites. Hmm if you like peas and dill, and some butter omg I'm yours.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by RittenRemedy View Post
              Can't unsee that dog...
              LOL. DH said the same thing, "what have I done to u to make u show me that??"

              Comment


              • Oohhhh... MY EYES, MY EYES!!!!!! O_O
                Some people just need a sympathetic pat... On the head... With a hammer.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by JudyCr View Post
                  ^ priceless post.. You are a hoot.
                  Thank you!

                  Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                  A mate of mine says the same thing about going for a curry and having a Korma, I tend to agree....

                  Damn right, that auto-correct and dog pic buried me....
                  And you read at work if I'm not mistaken. People must think you love your job.

                  Originally posted by RittenRemedy View Post
                  Can't unsee that dog... D;

                  Salmon and potato salad is one of my favorites. Hmm if you like peas and dill, and some butter omg I'm yours.
                  Unless I've chilled it, where there's salmon, there's butter and citrus. I do like peas, but I haven't had them in a while. Dill - I think I've had that in stuff, but I don't use it at home. I'm trying to branch out herb wise, but I keep returning to basil and oregano.

                  Originally posted by JudyCr View Post
                  LOL. DH said the same thing, "what have I done to u to make u show me that??"
                  Funny husband!

                  Originally posted by AuroraB View Post
                  Oohhhh... MY EYES, MY EYES!!!!!! O_O
                  I always thought that when dogs sniffed butt, they were just doing the dog version of checking ID. If so, that little one must work for Homeland Security.
                  "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                  B*tch-lite

                  Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                  Comment


                  • [QUOTE=JoanieL;1521681
                    I always thought that when dogs sniffed butt, they were just doing the dog version of checking ID. If so, that little one must work for Homeland Security.[/QUOTE]

                    I got a good laugh out of this!
                    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

                    Comment


                    • The weekend.

                      Never go out without cab fare. You never know when you'll run into someone who might want to lead you astray. And sometimes astray is the perfect place to be led.

                      Be reasonably cautious, but don't be afraid of strangers. Sometimes their stories are amazing. Even if the story is 90% BS and 10% truth, you're hearing who they want to be at that moment in time. That's often as illuminating as the truth.

                      Lately, I sometimes feel like I've lost my way. I'm taking steps to fix that.

                      A self-confidence I've never had. I have a neighbor about half a block away. We're just hello, how're you doing neighbors for the most part. She's big. And she's missing a tooth in the front. She always smiles. Tonight I saw her, and she told me she was going to pick up some Thai food. "I'm puttin' on my food freak," she said as she rubbed her belly. I told her that sounded great. But I've never had her confidence. Somewhere in my mind, if I let my weight go over X, all I want to do is hide 'til I fix it. I swear, if I live to be an old lady, I'm going to let myself get fat, wear mumus, and walk around in animal slippers even in public. Though this would be okay too:


                      Useless fact. In Arkansas, a minor that is enrolled in culinary classes may drink alcohol if it's part of the curiculum.

                      Food. Forgot to make potato salad, so I had boiled potato smashed with a bit (a large bit) of butter as a side for the salmon. Next day was cold food. A large tin of tuna mixed with that good-oil mayo and some onion, two pickled duck eggs, potatoes that I remembered to cook ahead and chill (with mustard and vinegar). Then Sunday I had oxtails in a spicy tomato sauce w/onions. I was going to make potatoes, but I just wasn't in the mood when the time came.

                      I seem to be habituating to two mugs of espresso with butter every morning, and about a cup and a half of fruit for my before bed snack. The fruit at night seems to make the moving of the bowels occur earlier in the day.

                      News tidbits. Ohioans, specifically those in Toledo can drink their tap water again. Some algae from Lake Erie was making it unsafe. That's eerie. Ebola keeps making the news. If you luridly describe a crime to someone, they'll be more likely to think the perpetrator should be severely punished. This is news? Well, it was a study. I've got to get into the grant-getting scam... er... business. Big Food is fighting the addition of "added sugar" being labeled on processed food. Anyone surprised? Where's my bookie? I want to bet on the outcome of this.

                      Is anyone watching Defiance? I love when I check out a show thinking it's most likely going to be stupid, only to fall a little in love with it. It's in season two now.

                      I want a self-cleaning home. Specifically, a self-cleaning bathroom. It's so do-able. Make everything in it non-pourous, then have a steam and soap dispenser in the ceiling, then rinse from the ceiling. It's 2014 for heaven's sake. Why are our bathrooms not cleaning themselves? Why don't our cars fly? As a note, we already have the technology for cars that drive themselves, but focus groups show that we're not emotionally ready for them.


                      And, now, the gallery portion of this post:






                      Because we all need a little cuteness in our day.



                      This is what they feed you in heaven.



                      Peace, love, and asswaffles,
                      J
                      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                      B*tch-lite

                      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Urban Forager View Post
                        I got a good laugh out of this!
                        And good morning!
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • Good morning!!!

                          I like asswaffles. It is my word of the day! I will now use it in a sentence: This site has been overrun by asswaffles and based on their lack of reading skills and logic, I fear for the future of humanity.

                          Another reason not to have a little dog, they know no boundaries.

                          I am getting to that don't care point. I am thinking bright purple highlights that are so not age appropriate but fun.

                          It is such a beautiful day! This morning was cold enough, I got to snuggle under the covers. I love that. Hopefully Ms Joanie is cooler too!

                          Comment


                          • I've been thinking of you, V, and hope that all is going well. And I fully support bright purple highlights. Do eeet!

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
                              Good morning!!!

                              I like asswaffles. It is my word of the day! I will now use it in a sentence: This site has been overrun by asswaffles and based on their lack of reading skills and logic, I fear for the future of humanity.

                              Another reason not to have a little dog, they know no boundaries.

                              I am getting to that don't care point. I am thinking bright purple highlights that are so not age appropriate but fun.

                              It is such a beautiful day! This morning was cold enough, I got to snuggle under the covers. I love that. Hopefully Ms Joanie is cooler too!
                              Very good to see you! I think I owe you an email, so I'll slap myself upside the head for you. I'm with you on asswaffles being too large a percentage of the population. It's wasn't too horrible today for very long. A little rain, lots of clouds. It really helps.

                              Originally posted by Goldie View Post
                              I've been thinking of you, V, and hope that all is going well. And I fully support bright purple highlights. Do eeet!
                              I'm with Goldie - do the highlights!
                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                              Comment


                              • Monday, August 04, 2014

                                It's about noon-thirty, and there is thunder. There are also clouds. Anticipation... Sometimes I'm so low maintenance as to border on house plant. A summer rain storm never fails to cheer me.

                                I can't remember where I read it, but apparently, if you can choose what kind of sun to get, morning sunlight is best for both mood and healthy sleeping. Note to self: Take coffee outdoors in a.m. If the neighbors don't like seeing me in my jammies, tough noogies.

                                Speaking of ass waffles - or specifically asses who waffle, see this Wiki entry on low carbohydrate diets: Low-carbohydrate diet - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia - Scroll down to "Opinions from major governmental and medical organizations," to see how no one will take a stand. It looks like we might be wrong, but we were wrong for so long, we don't want to admit it just yet, so we'll be giving out shit advice for another decade or so.

                                Speaking of low carb, my macros for yesterday were: P: 33.1%, C: 19.4%, and F: 47.5%. I've started tracking on Cronometer again for a while because I seem to be headed for a slippery slope. This will keep me honest. Maybe not pleased, but honest.

                                The first time I had smoked salmon and chevre wrapped in nori, my first thought was: Jewshi. I wasn't the only one as I've since read that others thought that also when they gave up their beloved bagels for nori. So, today, when I rolled up some canned tuna, curried rice (chilled), and spicy mayo, in some nori, I thought: ooh Tushi. This of course doesn't sound appetizing. I always do something wrong the first time I make something. This time it was simply filling it up too much. A half can (7 oz can) of tuna, and the yield from a quarter cup of dried rice cooked is plenty for two or maybe even three rolls. But no, I made one which left me with the choice of either wearing it, or eating it with a fork and knife. But it was pretty good.

                                In the news. James Brady has died. Whether I agree with him or not, dude stuck to his guns for what he believed. Scientists are brawling again. Is it a "hobbit" or is it someone with Downs Syndrome? Dueling articles. This is cool: 'Monster' Alligator Fight Captured In Stunning Photos - I loves me some gators. And this: Man Posing For Gun Selfie Dies After Firearm Goes Off: Report - There is nothing I can say here that wouldn't make me sound like a cold-hearted bitch. Darwin. Eating fish will keep your brain younger longer. Crappy article; no info really, no mention of farm vs wild, etc. And the subjects kept journals. Icky poo: California company expands recall of fruit sold at Trader Joe's, Costco | abc7news.com


                                And, now, the gallery portion of this post:





                                How to give your child an eating disorder.






                                Peace, love, and kittehs,
                                J
                                "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                                B*tch-lite

                                Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                                Comment

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