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B*tchapalooza 2013

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  • I may never be able to eat fudge again!

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    • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
      I may never be able to eat fudge again!
      LOL - I'm surely glad I didn't have a mouthful of anything or I'd have spit it all over my keyboard.
      "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

      B*tch-lite

      Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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      • Tuesday, April 15, 2014

        Things we do that people who donít believe in an ďancestralĒ approach to diet donít do:
        • We make bone broth. Thatís right, depending on whether we slow cook or pressure cook our broth, we stink up our homes for 3-24 hours sucking out the gelatin and minerals from grass fed bones. We consider it a labor of love.
        • We agonize over grass fed/pastured/foraged/whatever. We donít want to eat CAFO, but we donít want to go broke. Itís starting to make a difference by the way. Even the general public is calling for food producers to stop using hormones and sub-therapeutic antibiotics.
        • We eat organs for heavenís sake. Liver is enough of a shocker for some folks, but some of the hardcore paleos are eating spleen, kidney, tripe, etc. I donít think of tongue and heart as organs because theyíre basically muscle meat, but they are offal, and CW/SAD people think eating those things is awful.
        • We donít eat bread. At least not as much as we used to. We bemoan the fact that thereís no really good gluten free-bread out there. Thereís a reason for this. Itís the same reason we canít get a good crispy fry out of gluten-free flour. The gluten was the protein portion of the flour that gave it the elasticity to be good bread or to fry up nicely.
        • We pretend that meatza is pizza. Itís not Ė itís just a big giant hamburger with cool toppings.
        • We make rice out of cauliflower. We also mash it. Yum. Iím not being sarcastic. Cauliflower is awesome.
        • We make spaghetti out of spaghetti squash. Again, I think weíre the winners here. Pasta tastes like crap in comparison. I can eat spaghetti squash plain. Try doing that with pasta.
        • Weíre as silly as any CW/SAD person when it comes to quick fixes or fads. Weíre painting iodine on our balls (well half of us canít) and shoving RS down our throats like itís going to make us live to be 190. Weíll go 30 days on just steak and eggs. Weíll go 30 days on just potatoes. Sadly, our genetics will control a very good portion of our life span. The best we can do is to eat well and be the best we can be.
        • We fight about carbs.
        • We fight about CICO.
        • We fight about anything.
        • We love butter. We love coconut oil. We love pastured lard and grass fed tallow. We love MCT oil. Weíre some fat-loving muthuhs.
        • Some of us actually eat worms and bugs.


        Mostly, our common ground is getting and staying healthy for a lifetime. Whether weíre in the 40% protein camp or the 50% fat camp or the less than 100 grams of carb camp, or any other camp, the search for good health unites us.

        My delivery from Good Eggs today is small, but mostly healthy. Strawberries, spinach, duck eggs (a new thing for 2014 for me), and raw milk cheddar. A little gift for myself in this order is a tomato plant. The variety is called Thai Pink Egg Tomato, which is about a one-ounce fruit that looks like this:


        Hopefully I wonít kill it before it fruits. And my less than 20% for this order is this cute little French pastry:


        Itís called Kouign Amann (KOO-een ahMAHN). Mostly the references I see when I google show it plain, but that one is blueberry. So, blueberry = superfood. Itís got lots of butter, so butter. Except for the whole flour thing, it doesnít suck.

        And speaking of Ass Fudge, I finally found my own sexual hang-up. Apparently rimming has become the trendy new sex thing (even among heteros). I read that it was in New York magazine, so it must be true. I freely confess that I was no prude in my Discovering Sex Years. I rarely said no unless it was something that hurt in a bad way. But, hereís the thing. I donít care if you wash that puppy Ďtil it squeaks, IíM NOT PUTTING MY TONGUE IN ANYONEíS ASS! I guess Iím just repressed. And afraid of ass cooties.

        For those of you who are having crappy weather, I apologize. But itís so nice out that when I launched my lazy ass out for a half hour walk, I didnít come home for two+ hours. I think I saw and spoke to everyone in the neighborhood and I think I was smiling very broadly because even strangers were saying hi. Itís been a steady 59F for hours. If I had a single complaint, it was just that I didnít know how windy it was, so I came back looking like the Wicked Witch of Whatever. Scrunchies are my friends.

        Ran into the guy who owns/is losing the corner store. He makes me sad, even though talking to him is so much fun. A year that took two people he loved turned him from a functional junkie to a dysfunctional one. You just never know when life is going to hand you a load so heavy that it takes you years to regroup.

        On a lighter note:


        In keeping with the ass fudge themeÖ



        You can always count on Paula!



        Most menís favorite treat.



        I know it doesnít have much color, but this would be heaven on earth for me.


        Peace, love, and a slightly painful index toe,
        J
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

        Comment


        • rimming can net you the lady ass fudge for those tasty ass crackers!

          did i do it right? did i win?

          Thai Pink Egg Tomato
          *long drawn out gasp*

          *runs to google*
          beautiful
          yeah you are

          Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
          lol

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          • Worked with plenty of people who've done a fair bit of rimming, or is that sucking hole, either way, its probably why I ain't gonna climb far up the ladder....

            Those toms look the go and duck eggs are sound, and I gots to get me some of they munchies, who've thought they comes in a box now....

            BO, you wins....
            Last edited by Dhansakdave; 04-16-2014, 03:46 AM. Reason: spelling

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            • holy shit - the spam bots are well and truely "AT IT - TONIGHT "
              "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

              ...small steps....

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              • Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                BO, you wins....
                I agree with Dave... BO wins the interwebs today.

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                • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                  rimming can net you the lady ass fudge for those tasty ass crackers!

                  did i do it right? did i win?



                  *long drawn out gasp*

                  *runs to google*
                  You surely did! The tribe has spoken. And the tomatoes are adorable, aren't they? He sells a bunch of oddball tomatoes. I'll post them when I do my post today.

                  Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                  Worked with plenty of people who've done a fair bit of rimming, or is that sucking hole, either way, its probably why I ain't gonna climb far up the ladder....

                  Those toms look the go and duck eggs are sound, and I gots to get me some of they munchies, who've thought they comes in a box now....

                  BO, you wins....
                  Boobs in a box - bet you can't eat just one!

                  Originally posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
                  holy shit - the spam bots are well and truely "AT IT - TONIGHT "
                  They surely are, G. They usually wait 'til week end so the mods/admins aren't around for a couple of days.

                  Originally posted by Goldie View Post
                  I agree with Dave... BO wins the interwebs today.
                  It's unanimous! Bloodorchid for the win!
                  "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                  B*tch-lite

                  Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                  Comment


                  • wooo!

                    woooooooo!

                    buh-nuh-nuuuhhhhh, buh-nuh-nuuuuuuuh... buhnuhnuhnuhnahnuhhhhhhhh wuuuhhhhhhhh

                    ^rocky music
                    beautiful
                    yeah you are

                    Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                    lol

                    Comment


                    • Holy f***ing crap, you nasty, horrible, utterly fabulous crazy people. I wandered into the last couple of days of Joanie's journal at work today...damn hard to stifle the spitting out food and outright belly laughs while in a cubicle of a government building over lunch. Just sayin...

                      My musings

                      The old stuff

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                      • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
                        wooo!

                        woooooooo!

                        buh-nuh-nuuuhhhhh, buh-nuh-nuuuuuuuh... buhnuhnuhnuhnahnuhhhhhhhh wuuuhhhhhhhh

                        ^rocky music
                        You win for crazy (wonderful) also!

                        Originally posted by Greensprout View Post
                        Holy f***ing crap, you nasty, horrible, utterly fabulous crazy people. I wandered into the last couple of days of Joanie's journal at work today...damn hard to stifle the spitting out food and outright belly laughs while in a cubicle of a government building over lunch. Just sayin...

                        So true! I was an innocent until all these people corrupted me! hahaha
                        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                        B*tch-lite

                        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                        Comment


                        • Wednesday, April 16, 2014

                          This is silly: Bourbon & Girl Scout Cookie Pairings | The Bourbon Review

                          For Bloodorchid. These are some of the tomato plants that vendor sells:


                          Spearís Tennessee Green



                          Sweet Beverly



                          Green Zebra Cherry Tomato



                          Pink Vernissage

                          Time is a funny thing. Why is it that if you drink Ďtil 5am, youíre a party animal, but if you drink at 5am, youíre a drunk?

                          Thatís rhetorical of course. I did an experiment over five years ago to see if starting the day drunk would be fun. Itís not. Nothing gets done and sometimes a hangover can start at 7pm, so you have to get drunk all over again. I gave the idea up about three days after I started it.

                          I was having a conversation about stress the other day. Iíve thought this before, but Iím starting to think itís an unfixable thing. A loop from which we canít escape. The job market is a buyerís market, and it will be for a long time because, hell if we wonít do it for nothing, theyíll (whatever company) just farm it out to some developing nation with no safety rules, minimum wage, human rights, etc. As more and more people feel trapped in their jobs, they wonít give it their all. Add to that the people at the top who have their jobs more because of how much ass they kissed rather than how much they know or how well they manage people.

                          So with that scenario, the people we come into contact with are often doing a slack job instead of a good job. Iíll take one real life scenario. A person with a job that requires occasional travel at a momentís notice is almost in tears. Why? Because sheís holding a shut-off notice dated April 10th that states that if the bill isnít paid by ten days after the date of the notice, her electric will be shut off. Except that itís the 14th, (sheís just gotten home) and theyíve already shut it off. And thatís not 10 days. And when she calls the company, they want to charge her an extra turn-on fee, an extra fee to pay by phone (obviously she went online to pay), and because there are no sick/dying people in her home, they wonít be able to turn it on Ďtil morning, even though itís their mistake.

                          And does anyone bother to even pretend to apologize for the error? Eff no. To apologize would be to admit a mistake, and itís so much better to screw with someoneís life than to ever admit to an error. Apparently itís become some kind of tragedy to ever admit to error. Oneís psychological or actual penis might fall off if one admits to being human and making the occasional error.

                          Iím not sure itís clear where Iím going with this. For me, itís never been the harsh boss, the rent increase, etc., that drives me to distraction (though I realize that they can for others). Itís the little everyday things where people are such slackers that their very existence in a business with which I deal makes my life a little less good. And itís everywhere and at every level. From the accounting manager who freely admitted that he sucked as an associate, so they just kept promoting him, to the retail clerk/manager/cashier who acts like their s*** doesnít stink, but theyíre clueless about everything - these are the people who promote stress.

                          Of course, the best thing to combat this is to not do business with companies/people who behave this way. However, when was the last time you lived in a town/city with more than one utilities company? Every time something simple takes twice as long as it should because of some schmuck that merely did their job in a shoddy way, I blame them for wasting time in my precious life. And for raising my cortisol levels, which of course makes them murderers.

                          Slackers of the world, get on your knees and pray to your god that Iím never Queen of the World. Because Iíd turn these people into some kind of feed or fertilizer.

                          My acquaintance slept in a dark apartment that night. Welcome freakiní home.

                          Did anyone else notice that Walmart employees no longer wear the little vests that used to read something like, ďHow can I help you?Ē Itís most likely because most of their employees donít know a damn thing. They couldnít help a fish find water.

                          continued...
                          "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                          B*tch-lite

                          Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                          Comment


                          • part2

                            The generation that is almost always ďOn.Ē This may be the new cultural divide. Every generation has the thing or things that make it different from the generation before it. Music, dress, attitudes, etc. But, I was wondering why certain behaviors drive me to wonder what the hell people are thinking?

                            Itís the social media generation that I donít understand. And to be honest, I donít care enough to want to understand. The need to post to people one doesnít even know, every minute action one performs. (I rimmed my bf last night and he still hasnít popped the question!)

                            Maybe itís a survival thing. In a world where over a third of us are being photographed without our knowledge at any given time, maybe voluntarily sharing it all with the entire internet is a defense mechanism. Thatís me being kind. The real me has a much lower opinion of the reasons for this bizarre over-sharing.

                            And before anyone points out pot-kettle-black, Iím fully aware of the irony of me posting that in an online journal where Iíve often posted photos of my food. Talk about your minutiae.

                            And though this may be a bit of a b*tchy post, today I am grateful for just about everything and everyone I know. Believe it or not.

                            Todayís silliness:


                            Too far ahead of its time, this should have been a success!



                            Kid-friendly food or a generation with an odd phobia regarding lunch meats?






                            Peace, love, and tomatoes,
                            J
                            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                            B*tch-lite

                            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                              So true! I was an innocent until all these people corrupted me! hahaha
                              Pardon me while I throw the bullshit flag on that play....

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                              • A bitchy post in a journal called Bitchapolooza? Inconcievable!

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