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  • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
    I'm sad to say that I have not found this to be true. I blame it on my rampant heterosexuality. *curses, foiled again*
    As open-minded as I try to be, I cringe when I see men being supported by women. It's so sexist, and I'd never say anything to the particular couple, but my suspicious brain gremlin always thinks, "No! Bad!" To be fair to my gremlin, I think I've seen too many women help put their husbands through school, only to be left with some half-assed degree while hubby walks away with his MD, LLD, DVM, etc., and bright shiny new wife.

    Originally posted by vh67 View Post
    As long as you are not talking about being a greeter at Walmart!

    Nothing wrong with being supported as relationships are partnerships, if you that is what both parties want and you can afford it. Hubby and I were both dirt poor when we met so not working wasn't an option at first.

    I worked outside the home for most of our time together (26 years) and until my mid thirties, I couldn't imagine not working. Then my Dad died and my priorities started to change. Hubby's career was always primary because even though I was an attorney, he made significantly more. I was grateful I was able to care for my mom before she died. We did the math and taking into consideration taxes and expenses, it made more sense for me to not work. Sad truth based on our current tax system. Plus Hubby will be the first to tell you that he would not be where he is without my support. Having me home taking care of everything lets him focus on his job and all the traveling he is required to do. And in CA, we are a lovely community property state!

    I love sparkly stuff but most of what I have, I made myself! Buying the pieces and putting them together is much cheaper and pretty easy. I am now learning to make the pieces myself and setting the stones. Fortunately I prefer unique stones with silver or copper and not precious stones and gold or platinum. I made a lovely pendant from a flat piece of silver and a jasper stone. I love melting stuff!

    Go NINERS!
    LOL @ Walmart. They have a one-legged greeter in a wheel chair at our local Malwart and she's so funny and sharp. Or they did a year and a half ago. If I did do something like that, I would handle it like performance play/art. There's a cashier at the local Walgreen's who does that. Every time she says, "Thank you for shopping..., etc.," she uses a weird accent or says it really fast or really slowly.

    +1 on the partnership. I like to stay home, and the men that are attracted to me like to work and not do laundry, cooking, etc. Being a wife with a housekeeper would be awesome, but I think I'd have to do much volunteer work or something.

    Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
    i got them becaaaaause i feel like a kid eating candy i ate some, made mmm! sounds and from then on shared them with bay. he poo poo'd them as being candy, then when i'd ask if he wanted any he'd say 'hmmmmmmmmm... yeah gimme'

    i tried to melt them in my mouth once, they just chew so i can't force my candies on you too
    There is one kind of sort of gummy candy I can still eat. It's those very sour rings in citrus flavors. They're softer than normal gummies and they do melt, but I still eat them in private, just in case.

    Have you stopped journalling? You know you have a lot of followers, right? We loooooooooooove you.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

    Comment


    • no i didn't stop yet bay left earlier today so i'm being all mopey and sadface a while, and piddling around with mda and tv
      beautiful
      yeah you are

      Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
      lol

      Comment


      • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
        I think I've seen too many women help put their husbands through school, only to be left with some half-assed degree while hubby walks away with his MD, LLD, DVM, etc., and bright shiny new wife.
        It might be a generational thing or perhaps an army wife thing but I've only ever seen the opposite. Guy working long hours while wife goes to school (usually half-assed)/pops out 5 kids/has some mystery illness (never anything concrete, rotating symptoms, usually right as he is about to PCS/deploy and then she f*cks his buddy while he is overseas, divorces him and lives off the BAH/child support forever. My buddy in the Army's mom had married 4 different military men, had a kid with each of them, and taken each one for child support. Talk about a racket.

        And perhaps it is my prejudice showing but in this day and age if both spouses do not have jobs then I cringe. Unless there is a legit reason (day care is more expensive than staying home, special needs kids etc, retirement) I see no reason for both not to work or at least contribute something.

        TL;DR both sexes are shitty at times.

        Comment


        • I work. Husband is at home. I've put him through school twice. When he does work he out earns me by a factor of at least two, but he doesn't work consistently and we now live in an area (for small boy's school) where there's little to no work for husband. It's hard, but society's judgement makes it so much harder than it needs to be. While small boy is still small he benefits immeasurably from having a parent at home (I did the first two years) and I doubt life would be any easier if we both worked; more financially secure, but not necessarily better. The galling thing is that as a stay at home parent husband gets no end of grief whereas I'd be easily accepted as a full-time mum.
          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by bloodorchid View Post
            no i didn't stop yet bay left earlier today so i'm being all mopey and sadface a while, and piddling around with mda and tv
            **Extra hugses** And yay that you haven't stopped.

            Originally posted by canio6 View Post
            It might be a generational thing or perhaps an army wife thing but I've only ever seen the opposite. Guy working long hours while wife goes to school (usually half-assed)/pops out 5 kids/has some mystery illness (never anything concrete, rotating symptoms, usually right as he is about to PCS/deploy and then she f*cks his buddy while he is overseas, divorces him and lives off the BAH/child support forever. My buddy in the Army's mom had married 4 different military men, had a kid with each of them, and taken each one for child support. Talk about a racket.

            And perhaps it is my prejudice showing but in this day and age if both spouses do not have jobs then I cringe. Unless there is a legit reason (day care is more expensive than staying home, special needs kids etc, retirement) I see no reason for both not to work or at least contribute something.

            TL;DR both sexes are shitty at times.
            Ack, you're totally right. And now I'll add another deadbolt to my front door and to my heart. No, wait - no room in my heart for another deadbolt. I honestly never knew about the whole having children for a living thing until recently and it wasn't coming from someone I knew very well. Now you've confirmed it. It makes me sad.
            "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

            B*tch-lite

            Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
              I work. Husband is at home. I've put him through school twice. When he does work he out earns me by a factor of at least two, but he doesn't work consistently and we now live in an area (for small boy's school) where there's little to no work for husband. It's hard, but society's judgement makes it so much harder than it needs to be. While small boy is still small he benefits immeasurably from having a parent at home (I did the first two years) and I doubt life would be any easier if we both worked; more financially secure, but not necessarily better. The galling thing is that as a stay at home parent husband gets no end of grief whereas I'd be easily accepted as a full-time mum.
              Thank you (and Canio) for showing me the flip side. I needed to hear/read it. You've both chipped away at what is perhaps a last vestige of sexism in me and I can only be grateful.
              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

              B*tch-lite

              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                It might be a generational thing or perhaps an army wife thing but I've only ever seen the opposite. Guy working long hours while wife goes to school (usually half-assed)/pops out 5 kids/has some mystery illness (never anything concrete, rotating symptoms, usually right as he is about to PCS/deploy and then she f*cks his buddy while he is overseas, divorces him and lives off the BAH/child support forever. My buddy in the Army's mom had married 4 different military men, had a kid with each of them, and taken each one for child support. Talk about a racket.

                And perhaps it is my prejudice showing but in this day and age if both spouses do not have jobs then I cringe. Unless there is a legit reason (day care is more expensive than staying home, special needs kids etc, retirement) I see no reason for both not to work or at least contribute something.

                TL;DR both sexes are shitty at times.
                Yeah, when I was in New London for Sub School, you alway knew when the Boomer (Balllistic Missile Submarines) were due to end a deployment becasue of all the U-Haul trailers in base housing moving all of their stuff out of the Boomer widow's house before hublet returned.....

                I know of more than one guy that has returned from a deployment to find his house and his bank account empty and his charge cards full to over-flowing, and wifey-poo no where to be seen.....

                Comment


                • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                  I'd never heard of the double either. LOL. As to gift of gab, you surely have it here and I'm sure I'm not the only one with a bit of cougar/Mrs. Robinson affection for you.
                  Why thank you good lady, most appreciated.

                  That Team Jimmy site is mint!

                  Epi 1 of NCIS watched (twice), who'd have thought Parsons would turn....

                  Originally posted by canio6 View Post
                  It might be a generational thing or perhaps an army wife thing but I've only ever seen the opposite. Guy working long hours while wife goes to school (usually half-assed)/pops out 5 kids/has some mystery illness (never anything concrete, rotating symptoms, usually right as he is about to PCS/deploy and then she f*cks his buddy while he is overseas, divorces him and lives off the BAH/child support forever. My buddy in the Army's mom had married 4 different military men, had a kid with each of them, and taken each one for child support. Talk about a racket.

                  And perhaps it is my prejudice showing but in this day and age if both spouses do not have jobs then I cringe. Unless there is a legit reason (day care is more expensive than staying home, special needs kids etc, retirement) I see no reason for both not to work or at least contribute something.

                  TL;DR both sexes are shitty at times.
                  Ahh the old 4x4, sounds like a charming lady....

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                    As open-minded as I try to be, I cringe when I see men being supported by women. It's so sexist, and I'd never say anything to the particular couple, but my suspicious brain gremlin always thinks, "No! Bad!" To be fair to my gremlin, I think I've seen too many women help put their husbands through school, only to be left with some half-assed degree while hubby walks away with his MD, LLD, DVM, etc., and bright shiny new wife.
                    Originally posted by JoanieL View Post
                    Thank you (and Canio) for showing me the flip side. I needed to hear/read it. You've both chipped away at what is perhaps a last vestige of sexism in me and I can only be grateful.
                    You want another one?

                    I have a good friend whose wife is very career oriented and also works a crazy schedule; often nights and weekends, and they've moved twice in the past 6 years for her career. So she could pursue her career, he's stayed home with their 3 kids and done all the "mom" stuff--scouts, dance, preschool, play dates, field trips, cooking, cleaning, shopping, you name it. The kids are now 13, 9, and 5 years old.

                    She just served divorce papers on him. She wants full custody and wants him to pay child support. He has an IT degree that's 15 years old, so it's not going to do him much good now without major updating. He has a good lawyer, so hopefully the system won't arbitrarily go with what the woman wants.

                    Where's the justice in that?

                    Comment


                    • The only people who win in a divorce are the lawyers.

                      Sadly, the courts are still skewed towards the mothers but it is getting better. In CA there are formulas for child support and spousal support. Propery/money is split 50/50 no matter who earned/bought it, with some exceptions. They make it pretty cut and dried, until the lawyers get involved.

                      Hubby, being the romantic that he is, has said he has never met another woman worth half his stuff. He probably says that o make me feel better when he travels.

                      Taking Family law in school made me sad at the horrible things people will do in a divorce to their spouses and their children. I knew that I would never be a family law attorney.

                      Comment


                      • I've found the secret to a happy divorce is not owning shit. "You want half of all I have? Okay, well, half of zero is zero. Enjoy! In fact, you can have all of it."

                        Comment


                        • Bloody money - it so does not buy happiness.
                          "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                          ...small steps....

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                          • One of the reasons we have roughed it out is because I couldn't comprehend how to split our assets (given that we own property overseas). And they say romance is dead....

                            ETA: we're doing much better now.
                            Last edited by badgergirl; 01-13-2014, 06:24 PM.
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                            Comment


                            • Gone Fishing! See you in a few days.

                              "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

                              B*tch-lite

                              Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

                              Comment


                              • Please please please can i come ?????????
                                "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                                ...small steps....

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