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I am the only thing standing between my fat self and my fit self!

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  • I am the only thing standing between my fat self and my fit self!

    I don't expect many people to read this journal, but I wanted to make my commitment to the Primal Blueprint public to a) keep myself accountable and b) motivate myself to stick with it this time

    I guess I'll start with a little bit about myself.

    I'm 21 years old. I'm a female. I'm a college student in one of the northern U.S. states. I love food, I don't especially love exercise. In fact, if I'm honest with myself I put it off a lot of the time. Furthermore, if I'm even more honest, a big reason I want to go primal and STAY primal is, as Mark says, "to look good naked." Sure, better health is a major plus too, but I really want to feel comfortable in my own skin again, as I did when I was 125 pounds.

    I'm about 5'4", and as of this morning I weigh 149.2 pounds. I have what I consider to be a large frame. Very broad shoulders (makes buying shirts a pain in the arse), relatively broad hips (which gives me a rather unshapely booty, boo!), and a large rib cage. My body fat is very evenly distributed, though. I have no "spare tire" and my stomach is actually very flat, I'm just all around a bit bigger than I would like to be. My arms are thick, my legs are thick, my chest is thick, my butt is thick... We all get the picture

    I don't have a lot of pictures of myself, as I tend to avoid them, but over this past Easter weekend I had several snapped of me and I really hated what I saw. I looked... bad. My mother insists we are all our own worst critics, and that may be true, but I don't like what I see in those pictures, because I know that's what I look like to everybody around me, although I'm sure most don't really care.

    So, here I am, jumping back onto the primal wagon after over a year of scrambling on just to fall off again, over and over and over. This time I'm buckling myself in though I have a beautiful niece that deserves her fit and fun auntie back, and a wonderful boyfriend who deserves his fun loving girlfriend back, and above all, I have myself, who deserves my happiness and confidence back.

    I plan on updating this journal every day if possible, with what I eat, what I do for activity, my progress, and of course my thoughts. I'll start with today:

    Today was busy for me. I had classes, an exam to study for, and a big project to work on. I didn't exercise, other than walking around my large college campus between classes all day. I had scrambled eggs with bacon for breakfast, a salad with lots of veggies, chicken, a little feta and no dressing for lunch, and some ground beef with peppers and carrots for dinner. I admit that I can be a picky eater, so I repeat the same couple of meals over and over again. Sometimes my meals don't even look like meals; I just cook some meat in a pan and munch on veggies straight from the fridge. I rarely cook anything extravagant, as I usually just don't have the time.

    Tomorrow I have classes and work, but I'm making myself a promise right now that I will get a work out in at some point, even if it is short. Anything is better than nothing. I suppose that's enough for now, since this first post is already extremely long. I hope by tomorrow morning some of the extra bloat I've accumulated from eating poorly yesterday will be gone. Only time will tell. Much thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read this

  • #2
    Good luck Kavinsky, good on you for climbing back on the wagon.
    link to my journal


    • #3
      Welcome! Remember to get on the driver's seat of the wagon. Find what works for you.

      I try to respond to every newbie and I would say that your post was not too long at all. It was fine.

      Remember that exercise doesn't have to be long. Hurrying briskly between classes at a big campus is good. If you can get in a little very fast brief exercise (intervals) and a bit of resistance once a week, that will help. But not essential right now. Diet is most important.

      Meat cooked in and even eaten from the pan is fine. Also veg straight from the refrigerator.

      Good luck.
      Ancestral Health Info - My blog about Primal and the general ancestral health movement. Site just remodeled using HTML5/CSS3 instead of Wordpress.

      My MDA Friday success story - Stubborn Senior's Testimonial


      • #4
        "I am the only thing standing between my fat self and my fit self."

        That's like a violation of the space/time continuum or something.


        • #5
          I know a lot of people on this forum don't think daily weigh ins are a good idea and that I should just let my clothing and my eyes judge my fat loss, but for me seeing a number on the scale every day clues me in to what I may have done right in the last few days and what might not have worked so well. I expect daily fluctuations and won't let it discourage me if I see little gains once in awhile, as long as I have a net loss at the end of the week. I also realize that I will probably hit some plateaus and stalls and not see a loss for several days or weeks, but that's ok. It took me a couple of years to gain this weight so I'm not expecting to lose it overnight. With that said, I weighed myself this morning and I am at 147 pounds exactly. 2.2 pounds down from yesterday morning. I attribute the big loss to my body letting go of extra water I was retaining from eating poorly the last couple of days.

          Anyway, today was a pretty ordinary day. I had classes in the morning and had to work in the afternoon. I have found that on the days I have class and work, it's easier just to east breakfast, skip lunch and have a big dinner. Having to pack a lunch and lug it around with me all day is a little inconvenient, and even though I have fallen off the wagon a few times, I think the time I have spent eating primal style in the last year has helped me be able to switch from sugar to fat burner easily. I don't get tired or cranky or incredibly famished when I skip a meal, even when I've been eating less than ideally for several weeks.

          Today's meals were pretty much the exact same thing as yesterday. Bacon and eggs with a cup of homemade hot cocoa (pure unsweetened cocoa powder, hot water, a little stevia, and a bit of heavy cream) for breakfast, no lunch, and a heap of seasoned ground beef with a side of carrot sticks and sweet mini peppers for dinner. What can I say, I really love ground beef, and will eat it for days and days in a row sometimes because it's fast to cook and delicious, albeit a bit expensive, especially as I'm trying to transition over to grass fed or at least local or organic.

          I promised myself yesterday that I was going to fit in a work out today, and I did. I did body weight exercises for both upper and lower body. This weekend I plan on trying a sprint session at the gym. I wish I had a nice big, private backyard to exercise and run around on, but unfortunately I live in a very crowded neighborhood and my shared lawn is always covered in dog poo from the neighborhood dogs. Nothing quite like sticking your hand in doggy doo-doo when doing pushups


          • #6
            Today's update will be short, as I'm not feeling very well and will most likely end up going to bed early to try and fight off the raging headache I have had all day.

            Today I didn't have any classes, but I did have to work all day. Breakfast was bacon and eggs, I skipped lunch, and just finished eating baked chicken with the skin on with a big salad and homemade dressing for dinner. I decided I wanted a "dessert" of sorts so I am also baking apple slices with a little butter and cinnamon in the toaster oven right now. I managed to get in a 30 minute walk right after work, and if I can manage to get rid of this headache by morning I'd like to do another resistance/body weight work out in the morning.

            On a side note, last night is the first night in several weeks where I didn't wake up in the middle of the night tossing and turning and needing to get up to pee. I did wake up earlier than I meant to, getting only 7 hours of sleep compared to my usual 9, but I wasn't tired today. I hope I sleep just as well tonight, and seeing as its the weekend, I wouldn't mind if I were able to sleep in a bit tomorrow.


            • #7
              Sounds like a carb flu! headache it will pass
              link to my journal


              • #8
                Originally posted by jacmac View Post
                Sounds like a carb flu! headache it will pass
                It might have been a touch of carb flu, but luckily it passed and I have felt fantastic all day today!


                • #9
                  Well, the terrible headache I went to bed with last night thankfully disappeared during the night and I actually slept for a whopping 13 hours last night! I got up once to use the restroom but I was out again as soon as my head hit the pillow. I guess I really needed some rest and rejuvenation. I woke up feeling so energized that I spent most of late morning/early afternoon doing odd chores around the house and generally being active. I worked out for 35 minutes doing some body weight and resistance exercises, plus a brief core workout.

                  Food today was maybe a bit less than ideal, I had more dairy than I probably should have had. I had a serious craving for cheese and heavy cream, so I had quite a bit of both. A sizable chunk of sharp cheddar and several tablespoons of heavy cream in homemade hot chocolate. Other than that today's food was eggs, a pear, small salad with left over chicken, and beef stir fry, which I actually didn't end up eating much of because all that dairy made me pretty full before dinner.

                  I was thinking about going to the gym tomorrow to do a short sprint session before heading to the library to study. I think I may end up doing sprints on a stationary bike versus a treadmill. I haven't ran for a long time, so I'm thinking I'd like to ease into sprints and the bike might be a good way for me to do that.

                  It also occurred to me today that I should take some new before pictures and measurements of myself (haven't done that since this time last year), although I'm not sure if I will post them on here or not, perhaps if I am brave It would just be nice to have something to compare to in a few months, as I'm sure I won't notice the changes much, especially if they are very gradual. I seriously cannot wait to buy some (smaller) new clothes! My wardrobe has really needed some new editions for a good year or more, but I just couldn't bring myself to fork out the money for new clothes that I kept hoping would end up being too big for me in a few months. I have a few pieces of clothing that are too small for me right now, but that I can't let go of because I keep dreaming of the day I will fit into them again! This time it WILL happen! I even have a gorgeous little dress that I have hung in plain sight so I see it every day as more motivation

                  I hope everyone had a fantastic day!


                  • #10
                    I guess I must have a bit of the carb flu. Either that or the real flu! Things were fine till after breakfast (which was leftover beef stir fry since I was out of eggs... maybe not a good idea?), and then I got so sick to my stomach that I actually threw up a couple of times. I didn't feel particularly sick otherwise, just very very nauseated. It was the same deal with my attempt at eating a light lunch. My wonderful boyfriend went to the store to pick up a few things for my queasy stomach, eggs being one of them, and even scrambled eggs had me over a trash can

                    I really don't know what to think of this. I've never experienced such nausea when switching back to primal blueprint eating from a SAD. I don't know if I just shocked my system by cutting all the crap out (again...) or what. Its been a couple of hours since the last time I tossed my cookies and I'm really hoping that was the last of it. I've been incredibly thirsty the last few hours, so I'm guessing maybe I messed up my electrolyte balance or something.

                    My boyfriend bought sugar free ginger ale for me to drink, and although not originally on the list of things I asked him to pick up, it was sweet of him to keep my no-sugar rule in mind, and I admit I did have some. I know artificial sweeteners aren't so great, but hopefully it doesn't affect me too much. I have no idea what to expect on the scale tomorrow. I could seemingly weigh a bit less because I couldn't keep any solids down, but then again I could have a gain because I have had SO much water to drink and really haven't had to pee much.

                    Sorry for the TMI for anyone who reads, but I'm just baffled over today. Like I said, I generally feel ok now, but I really hope I don't see a repeat of today's events tomorrow... Needless to say I wasn't very active today. Tomorrow I would like to go for a long walk and do a little strength training, and then buckle down for a day of homework and studying.


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Kavinsky View Post

                      I could seemingly weigh a bit less because I couldn't keep any solids down, but then again I could have a gain because I have had SO much water to drink and really haven't had to pee much.
                      I don't know your carb intake from the day before but this happens to me everytime I over do it on the carbs. My body retains water for some reason.

                      Hope your feeling better!


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Enilegna/hearts View Post
                        I don't know your carb intake from the day before but this happens to me everytime I over do it on the carbs. My body retains water for some reason.

                        Hope your feeling better!
                        Thanks Enilegna/hearts! Thankfully today I am feeling 100% better! I'm not sure of my exact carb intake either, but I can't imagine it was very high, since my carbs come almost completely from non starchy veggies.


                        • #13
                          Today's journal entry is going to be a bit earlier in the day than my previous ones, because I have an exam to study for the rest of the evening.

                          Luckily for me I did not experience a repeat of yesterday's events and I was nausea-free all day! I was a little scared to step on the scale this morning because I didn't know how much being sick would affect me, but I was exactly 146 pounds this morning, which is right around where I have been for a couple of days. Although I didn't feel sick to my stomach, I didn't have a very big appetite today so I had a couple of eggs for breakfast and just a little bit of baked chicken with fresh veggies for lunch. I don't think I'll be hungry for dinner.

                          This morning I had a lot of energy so I figured I'd go ahead and get a workout in first thing. I did strength training, a short core workout, and I wrapped it all up with some stretches. I think stretches are my favorite part, they just feel so darned good I was planning on going for a walk around the neighborhood earlier this afternoon but I got caught up with things and didn't get a chance.

                          Tomorrow I have classes for most of the day, which means a great deal of sitting and looking down at a piece of paper all day to take notes. I have been forced into this posture for years and years on end all through high school and college, and it has started to affect my body in a negative way, or so says my physical therapist of a boyfriend . All kidding aside though, I know he is right because sometimes my neck hurts for no apparent reason and I can feel a bit of a bump at the base of neck where one of my vertebrae seems to stick out more than the ones above it. It seems as though I have developed a slight case of something called forward head posture, which could eventually give me a humpback and some other issues if not corrected. So in addition to my regular work outs I'm now going to be adding in a few exercises and stretches to help bring my head and neck back into a neutral position.

                          Well, I really should get back to studying now I suppose. Hope everyone had a great day!


                          • #14
                            Yesterday was another strange day for me as far as nausea goes. I ate breakfast, which was a 4 egg omelet with peppers, onions, and mushrooms, and then started getting ready to leave for class. As I was styling my hair, I got this sudden overwhelming wave of nausea and lost my entire breakfast... After that I felt completely fine and didn't feel sick to my stomach at all for the rest of the day. I thought maybe it was because of my supplements, but they have never made me feel like that before, and I've been taking the same ones for well over a year on a daily basis.

                            I think this is just my body trying to rebel at the lack of carbs from wheat and sugar, and maybe my body is detoxing a bit as well. I've been trying to keep carbs low to help with my weight loss. Although I don't count exact numbers, I just figure out a ball park range based on what I ate for the day. Yesterday I had gained about half a pound and was at 146.4 pounds, but this morning I had a huge loss of 2.2 pounds, bringing me to 144.2 pounds and a total of exactly 5 pounds lost since last Wednesday, April 3rd.

                            I'm half expecting a small gain tomorrow because of the huge loss I had this morning, but that's ok, I know weight fluctuates naturally. Before I even stepped on the scale this morning I knew I would see a substantial loss because my belly looked smoother and less bloated. I'm so excited to finally be back on track and losing weight. I know right now it's mostly water weight, but hey, getting rid of extra water weight is important too, and definitely helps smooth out some of the weird lumps and bumps caused by extra bloat.

                            I plan on getting in a work out this evening when I get home from my last class. I think from now on I will try to post my journal entries in the morning. I would like to try and stop using my laptop so much at night to see if it helps me sleep better.


                            • #15
                              Yesterday was my longest day of classes, and I was definitely mentally drained when I got home. I really wanted to just veg out in front of the tv for awhile but I still had so much to do. I cooked dinner, did a few chores around the house, worked out for about 30 minutes, and started research for an upcoming paper I have to write. Yesterday for breakfast I had an egg omelet again with diced tomatoes, peppers, and a little cheddar cheese. I skipped lunch because I hate having to pack along food while I'm at school. Dinner was baked chicken and steamed broccoli and a mug of homemade cocoa for dessert.

                              I told my boyfriend (who is mostly primal and has always been very health conscious) last night that I've lost 5 pounds and he was very happy for me and said I should be very proud of my progress so far and the fact that I am taking control of my health and fitness. I think he is one of my biggest motivators, I love making him proud of me and I know he loves seeing me take charge and live a healthy lifestyle. In his profession (physical therapy) he sees dozens of clients a week that are very unhealthy and lead sedentary lifestyles accompanied by poor diet. That's certainly not something I want for myself in the future, and I know he doesn't want me to go down that path either.

                              We both have parents that are less than healthy and very unwilling to change their ways. Thus we both agreed well over a year ago that we would not end up the same way, and that led us to the primal blueprint. He has had more luck sticking to it than I have, with only an occasional treat here and there. He can stick to just one small non primal item every so often... I, on the other hand, have a tendency to want more and more if I have so much as bite. He genuinely enjoys working out, which I sometimes struggle with, and he also loves the primal approved foods. Not that I don't, I really love meat and most veggies, but I do miss some things, like bread and bakery items. I had a bit of a love affair with pastries and donuts and muffins a few years back, hence how I gained almost 30 pounds in 4 years...

                              Anyway, as I was saying, it is such a joy and a relief to have someone so close to me support me in my quest for fat loss and health. I really can't imagine doing this without someone in my corner cheering me on. My mom doesn't understand it, she thinks I'm the perfect weight and healthy enough as it is, so I get very little support there. In fact she sometimes sabotages my efforts by sending me chocolates and baked goods in the mail or bringing them to me when she visits, even though she knows how badly I want to lose the extra weight and be healthy. She knows very little about health, I'm afraid, and has very little interest in learning about it. She tunes me out if I try and explain anything primal blueprint related to her. Maybe it's just a matter of finding the right way to educate her, but for now I have learned to just ignore her "advice" and go about doing this myself with my boyfriend to back me up.