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  • For gut healing, i highly suggest a fresh juice fast and takin extra enzymes. I really believe the gut needs some extended time off to heal. Just doing 1-2 days of pulp free fresh juice might make you feel much better.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by ombat View Post
      "We accept the love we think we deserve"

      Are you eating full fat Greek yoghurt?
      It's true. I think the problem is that deep down I don't believe I deserve to be loved. I feel really guilty when my parents demonstrate love towards me. Isn't that weird?

      Of course it was full fat! Some things in life shouldn't be tampered with Btw, have you ever tried what Zach is suggesting (below)?

      Originally posted by Zach View Post
      For gut healing, i highly suggest a fresh juice fast and takin extra enzymes. I really believe the gut needs some extended time off to heal. Just doing 1-2 days of pulp free fresh juice might make you feel much better.
      Thanks for the suggestion. WOuld this mean buying a juicer? And what do you mean by "extra enzymes"?
      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

      - Ray Peat

      Comment


      • Week 11, Day 1

        I'm feeling pretty bummed out about my lack of weight loss atm. All week I've been tired, bloated, withdrawn, and I'm starting to feel negative.

        It was kind of triggered by seeing a photo of me in my dress last weekend. In my mind, my hips look like the hips of a 40 year old woman who's had three kids I really want to lose weight, but I don't know how to. I started a thread on the Nutrition forum, hoping for some useful suggestions, but more looking for support than anything.

        Sleep:
        12.30am - 8.30am: 8 hours Felt really tired when I woke up: like I could have slept for longer.

        Food / Hunger / Cravings:
        Consciously tried to restrict fat today...

        9.00am - Coffee w/ milk, 1 potato, 2 fried eggs.
        two more coffees.
        1.45pm - Lunch: 1 medium pineapple, 1 orange, two squares 70% dark choc.
        tea with milk and sugar.
        5.30pm - Dinner: 1 potato, mixed sea food: prawns, calamari, mussles (hope they don't make me sick!), cooked in apple cider vinegar and maple syrup (interesting...!), 2/3s of a medium pineapple.
        decaf tea with milk and sugar.

        Cravings:
        Sugar.
        Baths! Talk about a weird craving, but I've had a salt bath for the last three nights. Feels good to relax and read.

        Supps:
        Mg-B6 complex x2
        Vit C x 2
        Aspirin x 2
        Alfalfa x 2
        Progesterone x 2
        Topical zinc

        Energy and mood:
        Still feel tired, but getting a little less withdrawn: actually responded to a few text messages today.

        Body:
        Digestion: mmm. Not great in the morning, then got the runs after my pineapple lunch...
        Lips: A bit raw after the peel last night, but feel them starting to heal.
        Bloating: No better.

        Stress
        Warning: this is my ED talking, but since seeing the pic of me in my dress I feel totally dejected about my body. I keep thinking about how I used to look. (Ombat, I was already looking at these pics before you posted yours, but after you did I nearly posted my montage on your page - we're in sync again girl )

        The first pic is from last weekend. You know how I got there!
        Second pic is from two years ago, when I first put weight back on. I stayed at this weight (or less) for another year, til I found VLC... It wasn't hard to maintain. I ate three decent meals a day (vegan / vegetarian), and I was binging probably once a week.
        Third pic was three years ago. I was actually thinner than I look there: I'm wearing very baggy clothes in the pic, but you can see how much my waist tapers in, and I actually have - thigh gap!! That was the point when people were starting to ask if I was anorexic. I was eating irregularly, often going hungry. I had just gone through a period of two weeks where all I was eating was four tomatoes a day... Was still binging, but was restricting very severely afterwards.

        Sorry, I know I'm moaning, but I feel like I'm caught in between a rock and a hard place: not happy with my body, but afraid to restrict cos' I don't want to relapse. I guess I need to be patient
        "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

        In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

        - Ray Peat

        Comment


        • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
          In my mind, my hips look like the hips of a 40 year old woman who's had three kids
          As a 56 year old woman who's had three kids I can't help but ask, what do the hips of a 40 yr old woman, with 3 kids, look like?

          And, you look great in all your pictures.You are definitely not any of the terms you've used to describe yourself.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
            Warning: this is my ED talking, but since seeing the pic of me in my dress I feel totally dejected about my body. I keep thinking about how I used to look. (Ombat, I was already looking at these pics before you posted yours, but after you did I nearly posted my montage on your page - we're in sync again girl )

            The first pic is from last weekend. You know how I got there!
            Second pic is from two years ago, when I first put weight back on. I stayed at this weight (or less) for another year, til I found VLC... It wasn't hard to maintain. I ate three decent meals a day (vegan / vegetarian), and I was binging probably once a week.
            Third pic was three years ago. I was actually thinner than I look there: I'm wearing very baggy clothes in the pic, but you can see how much my waist tapers in, and I actually have - thigh gap!! That was the point when people were starting to ask if I was anorexic. I was eating irregularly, often going hungry. I had just gone through a period of two weeks where all I was eating was four tomatoes a day... Was still binging, but was restricting very severely afterwards.
            ...it's funny how our individual perceptions vary from what others see. You see dejection, and all I see is a pretty green dress. Chin up girl...hebs

            Comment


            • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
              It's true. I think the problem is that deep down I don't believe I deserve to be loved. I feel really guilty when my parents demonstrate love towards me. Isn't that weird?
              Yeah it is pretty weird, but it's also pretty normal. We hold ourselves to a much higher standard than we do others at times. I used to struggle tremendously with low self esteem and every once in a while I still do (I don't know why, because I'm so fucking awesome all of the time ). I think it's a cycle that you just need to find a way to pull yourself out of and it definitely starts with self love. If you don't love yourself, how can you expect anyone else to?

              Of course it was full fat! Some things in life shouldn't be tampered with Btw, have you ever tried what Zach is suggesting (below)?
              Well excuuuuuuuuse me! I was just wondering since you mentioned calories. I'm starting to come to the realization though that 2% might be too low in cals for me. I might play around with it. Maybe it's because I'm not used to eating dairy / I was never really fond of it in the first place, but 2% seems so rich to me and I can't imagine eating full fat without feeling ill.

              I should do that. I think (maybe) I'll try to do it for the first day or two that I'm home each week from staying with my cousins. I anticipate my stomach not being very happy this summer otherwise...



              I totally agree with Ci about the pictures - in the most recent one you look like you'd rather be anywhere else. And that's without even seeing your face. You do look disconcertingly thin in the first one, you look great in the second one, and in the third one I can see that the dress is possibly not flattering the stomach bloat, but the rest of your body looks great! Your arms look slender and your hips do not look large by any means. It's only because you're comparing your body to your other two photos that it might seem that way to you.

              I was eating irregularly, often going hungry. I had just gone through a period of two weeks where all I was eating was four tomatoes a day... Was still binging, but was restricting very severely afterwards
              This is so upsetting. You are such a lovely human being that I cannot bear the thought of you torturing yourself like this.

              You're not alone with the restricting thoughts, by the way. Ever since "eat a ton" I've been careful (not crazy) about my fat intake. Maybe that's all you need to do but in no way would you need to go hungry.

              As for being withdrawn, it could be because of the displeasure with yourself atm, but sociabiity comes in waves. At least it does for me.

              And... we are in each others braaaaiiiins, dude. It is a bit frightening.
              Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

              Comment


              • Yb, just try a few days of differet "diets". Maybe one day do the potato diet, next week try a juice or milk day. Maybe you will find something that is sustainable that you could follow a few days a week. I dont think concisely restricting your food decisions is a good idea, its like you are coming full circle to before the RRARF days. Just dedicate a few days of dieting a week and the rest eat normally. Kinda like fasting but better.

                And yes, a juicer would be needed to do a juice fast. $50 on amazon for a hand crank.

                Comment


                • Oh and i agree with the girls. Your body language totally tells the story. I do think your hips are a bit bigger but hardly big, overall you are still really thin. I have to keep repeating this but i still cant believe you three are bitching about your bodies (besides the bloat). Its sad that we live in a society where women have to always be worrying about every ounce of fat they gain or lose. I really think its the mentality that creates the problems, that and devil PUFA!

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post

                    Warning: this is my ED talking, but since seeing the pic of me in my dress I feel totally dejected about my body. I keep thinking about how I used to look. (Ombat, I was already looking at these pics before you posted yours, but after you did I nearly posted my montage on your page - we're in sync again girl )
                    Aww, you took it down before I had a chance to look.

                    I should post pics of myself so you can see how thin you are in comparison!

                    My journal

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Zach View Post
                      Oh and i agree with the girls. Your body language totally tells the story. I do think your hips are a bit bigger but hardly big, overall you are still really thin. I have to keep repeating this but i still cant believe you three are bitching about your bodies (besides the bloat). Its sad that we live in a society where women have to always be worrying about every ounce of fat they gain or lose. I really think its the mentality that creates the problems, that and devil PUFA!
                      What if it's the devil PUFA that's messing with our MINDS??

                      ...

                      Just think about it.
                      Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by marcadav View Post
                        As a 56 year old woman who's had three kids I can't help but ask, what do the hips of a 40 yr old woman, with 3 kids, look like?

                        And, you look great in all your pictures.You are definitely not any of the terms you've used to describe yourself.
                        Lol, thanks Marcadav <3 You made me realise that the "40 year old woman who's had three kids" image I have in my mind is... my mum! My body looks exactly like hers in that pic, at times when she's been over her normal weight.

                        Originally posted by hebsie View Post
                        ...it's funny how our individual perceptions vary from what others see. You see dejection, and all I see is a pretty green dress. Chin up girl...hebs
                        Thanks hebs I saw you pop up on Zach's journal a few days ago - do you guys know each other from before?

                        Originally posted by Zach View Post
                        Yb, just try a few days of differet "diets". Maybe one day do the potato diet, next week try a juice or milk day. Maybe you will find something that is sustainable that you could follow a few days a week. I dont think concisely restricting your food decisions is a good idea, its like you are coming full circle to before the RRARF days. Just dedicate a few days of dieting a week and the rest eat normally. Kinda like fasting but better.

                        And yes, a juicer would be needed to do a juice fast. $50 on amazon for a hand crank.
                        I could probably do one day a week Ugh. I'm SICK of buying and owning stuff...

                        Originally posted by diene View Post
                        Aww, you took it down before I had a chance to look.

                        I should post pics of myself so you can see how thin you are in comparison!
                        Lol, thanks
                        "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                        In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                        - Ray Peat

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by ombat View Post
                          I totally agree with Ci about the pictures - in the most recent one you look like you'd rather be anywhere else. And that's without even seeing your face. You do look disconcertingly thin in the first one, you look great in the second one, and in the third one I can see that the dress is possibly not flattering the stomach bloat, but the rest of your body looks great! Your arms look slender and your hips do not look large by any means. It's only because you're comparing your body to your other two photos that it might seem that way to you.

                          You're not alone with the restricting thoughts, by the way. Ever since "eat a ton" I've been careful (not crazy) about my fat intake. Maybe that's all you need to do but in no way would you need to go hungry.

                          As for being withdrawn, it could be because of the displeasure with yourself atm, but sociabiity comes in waves. At least it does for me.
                          Thank you <3

                          Yeh, I actually think fat is the easier macro to reduce without feeling deprived! My body seems to need carbs much more than fat. I've reduced how much I'm adding to meals, but I'm not taking the skin off salmon

                          Absolutley - sociability comes in waves, and I have no problem with feeling withdrawn. As I keep saying, this usually comes bundled with depression and zero energy, so I'm actually seeing this as big progress

                          Originally posted by CiKi90
                          Hey! Sorry, I feel as if I've been neglecting you!

                          You know the biggest difference I see in the 3 photos? Your posture. I can't see your face (which might have disgraced me from your body language all together) but in the first photo, you do not have such a confident stance as you do in the other two photos. The other ones, you've got a whimsical vibe about you that sends off happier signals. I bet if you were standing in a cute/happy/funny/confident way in the green dress, you would feel as though you look just as nice. I am definitely not one to talk about having proper confidence, but.... Maybe it would help to try focusing on the parts you do like, right now, instead of your "40-YO woman hips" you silly lady.

                          As far as support goes, though, I'm right here with you. I don't know if my adventures into junk food and gluten and whateverthehelliwant recently have effected me so greatly, but I am in the same boat as you, emotionally. I don't want to see or talk to anyone, I feel disappointed in my body, and my energy is shot. So, I'm sending hugs to you and hoping that our negativity will dissipate soon!
                          THanks Ci. One thing I've become very conscious of through journalling, and reading other people's journals, is how unaware of their patterns people are. We feel a certain way, and find an eternal justification for this, forgetting that we felt like this not-so-long ago. What I'm saying is that feeling withdrawn is part of my pattern, not necessarily related to external events. Maybe it's the same for you - part of a cycle?

                          Originally posted by Zach View Post
                          Oh and i agree with the girls. Your body language totally tells the story. I do think your hips are a bit bigger but hardly big, overall you are still really thin. I have to keep repeating this but i still cant believe you three are bitching about your bodies (besides the bloat). Its sad that we live in a society where women have to always be worrying about every ounce of fat they gain or lose. I really think its the mentality that creates the problems, that and devil PUFA!
                          Cheers Zach - I appreciate that. And I've booked in for a lobotomy - that'll solve my problems!
                          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                          - Ray Peat

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                            Cheers Zach - I appreciate that. And I've booked in for a lobotomy - that'll solve my problems!
                            Someone once said I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.........

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                              Thanks hebs I saw you pop up on Zach's journal a few days ago - do you guys know each other from before?
                              ...yes, Zach and I have a long history of being e-friends -- maybe eight years?!? Anyways, he's a great guy, and I'm glad to see him here at MDA 'stirring things up'!...hebs

                              Comment


                              • Haha, yea from multiple previous forums. Ahhh the good ol days.

                                YB, why dont you sell all the useless gadgets and buy a cheap juicer? I swear you will use it.

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