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This is not a lobe song

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  • Yo... I don't really know how to express the sorrow I feel for those terrible things to have happened to you. I do know that we are all on our destined path, so I think that the overarching question is how to come to terms with what we've been dealt and what has happened to us and find purpose in it. I wish I had more to give to you and perhaps I will in time but I felt it was more urgent to get some words of support to you...

    That said, it is common for pattern seeking; Abused women often end up in abusive relationships, etc. We all seek to find what is known to us even if what is known is a nightmare. There's comfort in pattern and predictability for most. Recognizing that is important. And I know that both of us believe that our energy attracts people and situations, so if you can change what you truly desire, you can change your life.

    Re: your examination, I wasn't there so I can't judge his actions, but it sounds like you just described a rough and clumsy doctor whose incompetence was magnified by your personal circumstances. I understand that doctors will want to check what they can before passing you on, and when he checked your uterus did he have one hand inside you and then other pressing down on top of you? I've had that done by many competent, female doctors, so I think that's standard unless I'm misunderstanding. I'm sure he was not a pervert. Nothing should excuse a rough examination, though. We're not animals...
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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    • Hugs - jedi mind hugs if those are more appropriate.
      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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      • I had a horrible smear test with my male doctor today, where he poked around before finally deciding to refer me to a gynae-endo. YAY! (to the referral part). It's such a relief knowing that I'll have a proper specialist over here that I can talk to about all this. Much as I trust the research that we all do, I need to go to an expert.
        I am glad you got the referral. It is super-important to see specialist when things are not trivial. Sorry about blood tests not getting better, but if you feel well, that hopefully soon follow.

        Fingers corssed, and glad to see you are journaling again.
        My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
        When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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        • Hey sweetie, I just wanted tell you how saddened I was to read ....... there is a very special place you know where for people like you know who, and for each one of them, there are thousands of wonderful human beings in this world. None of us can change a thing abut the past, but I'm sure the future holds many beautiful things for you <3Hugs<3
          Last edited by Graycat; 08-30-2013, 06:24 AM.

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          • Thanks guys for your very sweet words... <3 I guess you'll have noticed that I deleted the post in question... Woke up this morning and I thought no one had seen it so...
            to purge, but this doesn't feel like it can be gotten rid of by typing words. Weirdly, I feel depressed, negative and weepy today... don't know if it's because of bringing up those part memories, or if I need more progesterone. I'll go with the latter

            Originally posted by Leida View Post
            I am glad you got the referral. It is super-important to see specialist when things are not trivial. Sorry about blood tests not getting better, but if you feel well, that hopefully soon follow.

            Fingers corssed, and glad to see you are journaling again.
            Welcome Leida I'm sure things are moving in a more positive direction. I'm just hoping that whoever I get referred to is better than my doctor (we have free health care here, so you don't have much control over who you're getting).
            "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

            In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

            - Ray Peat

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            • What happened? ;_;
              Make America Great Again

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              • "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                - Ray Peat

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                • Looks like I missed a post?! I hope you're okay.

                  And going to Narnia is a great idea!

                  My journal

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                  • Take me wiiiiiiiiith you XD
                    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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                    • Since starting the Peat protocol, I measure my life in fortnights. Friday at the end of a fortnight I take some progress pics, and then the cycle starts again.

                      It's nearly 11 weeks since I got back from California, my meds kicked in, and I started eating Peat. It's been pretty amazing. It's actually been one of the best times of my life! I don't remember a period in my life prior to this where I've been depression-free for so long. Apart from a few anxiety attacks, some worrying about appetite regulation, and a few days of exhaustion around my period, I feel like I'm finally being the person I've always meant to be. Night is over

                      Troubleshooting:

                      Saying that, this was a weird fortnight. I didn't exercise for the first week because I was in Ireland, but I wasn't hungry so I didn't eat much either. Then this week I've been starving. I also felt pretty "bingey", and out of control about food. No appetite one day, then the next day I can't stop eating. On average I was probably close to 3k cals a day.

                      I don't really know what's going on with it, but I suspect I'm actually not getting enough carbs and/or fat. I don't seem to have gained weight though.

                      Yesterday I was blue for the first time in ages. It was partially exhaustion... but I also started to get my period... again (I'm getting it every two weeks. Which I'm not happy about). So I'm pretty convinced now that my mood is related to progesterone.

                      I'm still losing hair.

                      Plan:

                      Because I've been feeling so good I've been pretty lax about my diet and supplements, and I suspect I'm not taking enough Progesterone. So, this fortnight I'm planning to be more diligent, and also start a few more Peat protocols:

                      - OJ as one meal a day, a few days a week. Can I mix gelatine with it?!
                      - Carrot salad every day. My gut feels much better for some reason, so I feel like I can tolerate the fibre now.
                      - Be diligent about progesterone oil three times a day. Plus Vitex twice a day, and Vit D sups.
                      - I'm pretty happy with my exercise regime right now, so I'll carry on with this. I've built up to a nice level of fitness so that I can do something intense a few days a week. My day off varies, but this is roughly the routine I'm getting into:

                      Mon: Lifting + 1km treadmill walking @incline
                      Tues: Power Pump class (similar to Cross Fit) - one hour: intense; teaching yoga: 75 mins.
                      Wed: Step aerobics - 30 mins: very intense (cardio); lifting dumbbells and core work: 30 mins: intense.
                      Thurs: 90 mins yoga (intense)
                      Fri: Swimming (currently 726 metres = .45 miles)
                      Sat: Power Pump- one hour: very intense (cardio + lifting + core); Dance aerobics - one hour: moderate intensity (cardio)
                      Sun: Day off / walk.

                      I move around slowly a lot too (biking), and every few days I'll bang out some hula hooping. The only thing I'd change is that I'd like to do more yoga actually...
                      -----

                      In other news:

                      I've started to look for a new place to live. I can't stand being here anymore. I just really hope that I finally manage to get a good place with cool people, as most of the time I end up getting it wrong. But I have a feeling that cos' I'm in a more positive mindset, it's going to work out

                      This is going to be a strange week as well, because I'm prepping for an Ayahuasca trip next Saturday! They say not to have coffee, meat or dairy, so I'll try my best to eat fruit and shell fish.
                      Last edited by YogaBare; 08-31-2013, 07:25 AM.
                      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                      - Ray Peat

                      Comment


                      • Moving to another place in London?

                        One should be in a very good place emotionally and spiritually before an ayahuasca trip... but you know if you're ready.
                        Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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                        • You're exercising too hard. Things like baking soda, niacinamide, aspirin, and others can mitigate the stress of exercise. Remember, when you're losing weight, a lot of estrogens and PUFA is stored in your fat. Make sure you're sleeping enough. Try breathing in a bag, and doing scalp massages to boost circulation to your scalp.

                          Gelatin can be used in OJ, of course, that's mostly what I put it in. Collagen is synergistic with vitamin c.
                          Make America Great Again

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                          • Originally posted by ombat View Post
                            Moving to another place in London?
                            Yes... I don't want to, but I can't stand living with the alcho anymore.

                            Originally posted by Derpamix View Post
                            You're exercising too hard. Things like baking soda, niacinamide, aspirin, and others can mitigate the stress of exercise. Remember, when you're losing weight, a lot of estrogens and PUFA is stored in your fat. Make sure you're sleeping enough. Try breathing in a bag, and doing scalp massages to boost circulation to your scalp.

                            Gelatin can be used in OJ, of course, that's mostly what I put it in. Collagen is synergistic with vitamin c.
                            Thanks Derp. I'll start the aspirin again. Would you recommend taking it pre or post workout?

                            What does the baking soda do? I've also been lax with my B vits. And what do you think of Brewer's yeast? I was using it and I actually think it was helping my flushing! But it made me bloated, so I stopped.

                            You know, after not wanting fish for more than two months, I've been having crazy fish cravings all week! I'm speculating it's cos I'm releasing PUFA from the fat tissues. Do you think that's poss?
                            "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                            In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                            - Ray Peat

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                              Yes... I don't want to, but I can't stand living with the alcho anymore.



                              Thanks Derp. I'll start the aspirin again. Would you recommend taking it pre or post workout?

                              What does the baking soda do? I've also been lax with my B vits. And what do you think of Brewer's yeast? I was using it and I actually think it was helping my flushing! But it made me bloated, so I stopped.

                              You know, after not wanting fish for more than two months, I've been having crazy fish cravings all week! I'm speculating it's cos I'm releasing PUFA from the fat tissues. Do you think that's poss?
                              Pre-workout. Baking soda is for sodium, with oj, pre, during, and after. Brewer's yeast is good short term, but if it makes you bloat, I'm not sure if that's because it's also full of estrogen or not.

                              Probably, it's stimulating some sort of addictive response.
                              Make America Great Again

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                              • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
                                I'm still losing hair.
                                Maybe you should apply some progesterone oil to your scalp. I'm starting today I'll let you know how it goes for me. I read a lot of positive feedback on it online.
                                I was unbelievably sad for few days in a row some two weeks ago (as you probably know) but it went away. I was absolutely miserable and so glad it's over.

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