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Trying to change old habits

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  • Trying to change old habits

    I'm 27 years old. I look like I'm anywhere from 12 to 22, from what I've been told. I feel like...I'm 90, some days, but most I'll settle for 45 or 50. I have a bad habit of ADHD dieting. Basically: oh THAT looks interesting. I think I'll try it. I've been vegan, vegetarian, eaten straight fast food, eaten straight freezer food, tried warrior dieting, tried calorie counting. And most of my life? Plain, Southern-style, Southern-fried SAD. I've been diagnosed with bursitis, scoliosis, ADHD, PMDD, PTSD, and sleep paralysis. I live in a near constant fog. I can't exercise too much or my hips hurt so badly I can't walk. I wake up with stiff and aching hands. I get migraines. Most of the time I'm lethargic and have zero motivation. I want to clean, exercise, enjoy life. But just sitting there, day in, day out, on the couch doing nothing, just sitting there sinking further and further in to the foggy mire of self-apathy usually wins. I was 200 pounds at 5'2" when I was 18. For 3 wonderful years, I held my weight at 135. Wait...did I say wonderful? I excersized every waking minute ofy life that I wasn't in school or at work. And when I left school and started working, I worked 80 hours a week. My sleep cycle went from a steady and regularly scheduled 6-8 hours a day to whenever I could sleep, however long I could sleep. In short, my diet, my lifestyle, my attitudes...are killing me.

    I've read a lot about the primal/paleo lifestyle. I've chosen to try it mostly because it isn't a diet. It doesn't have a lot of rigidity surrounding it (for the most part--I know there are some intense exceptions). I also like the changes everyone sees. That's been actually the biggest draw. With diets, there's this person or that group of people that don't see results, mostly because it isn't right for their body. But with this lifestyle, everyone sees results. Whole body, whole psychology, whole soul results. They are all different, but the overall is the same: loss of weight, clearer skin, better mental acuity...on and on. I've been 145 pounds for close to 3 years now, and no matter what, when I lose the weight it comes back. Because I change my diet, not my mindset.

    The biggest hopes I have are:
    -losing weight
    -regaining control over my mind, rather than feeding it foods that send its chemicals haywire
    -increased energy
    -getting to a healthy whole self state for myself, my partner, and my family
    -ridding myself of the problems associated with ADHD, because I'm about 98% positive everything else is diet, and about 90% positive the ADHD can be controlled or eliminated through diet.