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Primal Journal: NZ Suse

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  • Yes I am very lucky to have a wonderful bloke by my side! love him to bits.

    Well the last few days have been VERY interesting... I heard back from mum's lawyer and was appalled to find out that my brother's loan had not been documented properly, that there was no security, nothing. I spit the dummy! Yesterday I took a day off work and drove down to see her and go through all the files. (There were a lot of files, my mother was a property developer in the last 10-15 years and has clearly spent tens of thousands with her lawyer) I spent 3 hours sitting in the lawyers office just going through paperwork and tagging what I wanted to get copied. I had a big discussion with the lawyer, and left her in no doubt that I was incredibly annoyed, but I was just firm not ranting. (The fireman said I handled everything very well) I have seen mum's will, and she forgives all loans to her kids on her death... yeah great, only my brothers have outstanding loans... my one brother owes over 100k. marvellous. Dont get me started, but thats ok, at the end of the day it is my mothers money to do with as she sees fit. The good news is that now she cant loan him or anyone any money as my fingers have a stranglehold on the pursestrings I also found out more detail about another ancient loan to my brothers friend (another 100k down the toilet) that we will never see again. I also tried to find out as much info as I could on the front house we cant sell with the leaky roof. Spent some time with the tenant in that house (who was originally going to buy it but of course backed out with all the problems), sent the fireman up on the roof to take pictures of all the crappy patchup jobs. F**k. Had hoped my brother would be around to talk to about what he has done with Jennian homes about it all so I can get a full pic... first of all he said he'd be home about 2ish, then 4.30, then at 6.30 when we left, he still wasnt. I do believe we call that AVOIDANCE. Seriously he is in for a big shock. I am truly disappointed in him. Families huh :~

    was surprisingly good on the food front yesterday all things considered. We stopped at macdonalds on the drive down for some breakfast... had scrambled egg and sausages, didnt eat the muffin. Didnt have time for lunch, but at 4.30 made the fireman take me to a bar for a well deserved glass of wine and shared some fries with him so that I wouldnt fall over drunk from 1 glass! Got thai takeaways for dinner, had a small amount of rice, washed down with a glass of wine. Not bad overall!!! This morning the fireman made me a poached egg on toast (i know), he must have been reading my mind or something cause as I was drying my hair I was thinking I really just felt like a piece of toast. It was lovely to have a poached egg, a treat, (comfort food?) and I am definitely viewing that as an 80/20% decision.

    Overall I'm surprisingly relaxed about everything though. A small layer of anger, but really whats happened in the past is done... no point going on about it, move forward i say. Negative energy will do very little for me in the long term. In the short term it is a great motivator to get things done!

    Have a lovely day everyone!

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    • well, the best part is that you have the bigger picture now. i'm sorry that it ended up this way with your family, but i do understand how it happens. i know the story, you know?

      anyway, sounds like a decent day on the food front, and that's not bad. things with your mom will get sorted, and perhaps your family will "man up" and take care of themselves instead of relying on your mother. and hopefully, she'll be financially ok too for the rest of her life (may it be long and full).

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      • thanks zoe! I think she'll be fine financially, I've done a full budget and dont foresee problems.

        Forgot to ask, how did you date night end up... I had better go and check out your journal ....

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        • Originally posted by Suse View Post
          Overall I'm surprisingly relaxed about everything though. A small layer of anger, but really whats happened in the past is done... no point going on about it, move forward i say. Negative energy will do very little for me in the long term. In the short term it is a great motivator to get things done!

          Have a lovely day everyone!
          This is an incredible attitude, good for you! I know how easy it would be to get consumed with anger over your poor mum being taken advantage of, but you're right, what good would it do now, except to make you stressed and possibly ill with worry.

          She is very fortunate that you have taken over the pursestrings.
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          • Thanks for the translation

            Originally posted by NourishedEm View Post
            Good God Suse. Where the hell did you find a man who can organise all that by himself?!

            I love my fella to bits, but if he took me out for a picnic, I'd probably end up eating chicken with my hands and if I was lucky he would have bought a bottle of water!
            And I agree with NourishedEm My Farmer's idea of a picnic...hmmm...married 23 years...# of picnics - 0

            Originally posted by Suse View Post
            Overall I'm surprisingly relaxed about everything though. A small layer of anger, but really whats happened in the past is done... no point going on about it, move forward i say. Negative energy will do very little for me in the long term. In the short term it is a great motivator to get things done!
            Again, I agree with NourishedEm. This is a great attitude!
            "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
            "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
            "Moderation sucks." Suse
            "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
            "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


            Winencandy

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            • Sucks that you're having to deal with all this crap, but you have it well in hand. Your mom is lucky to have you looking out for her. I'm impressed with how well you're handling the situation, and still managing to not give in to stress eating and so on.

              And I think the last time hubby brought me a picnic we were still dating...like 20 years ago or so...
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              • pretty quiet weekend. Foodwise been a bit of a mixed bag. Definitely seem to be eating a bit more gluten lately, and I have noticed that I have needed to take a puff on my asthma inhaler a few times in the middle of the night lately. So really need to get that back under control. Having said that, just had a team morning tea where I ate sausage rolls and had a scone and a piece of choc cake. yeah all loaded with gluten. I've had a few sort of minor stomach aches, or at least colon aches???? Nothing major, but definitely something. I cant see how it isnt related to having bready stuff. eg friday, well i had toast for breakfast and felt a pain in my abdomen later in day, and also on Saturday I had a burger and ate half teh bun, and same.

                Not a lot else to report. Too many wines last night, that too needs to be reined in. Strangely though, this morning on the scales I have finally dropped below the 22 bf, so at least that is something...

                Actually I feel quite bloated after my morning tea. no doubt the scales will tell me off tomorrow.

                I made a lovely beef and guiness pie yesterday... a jamie oliver recipe. very nice, lovely and rich. I didnt really need to put the puff pastry topping on it but I did as the firemans kids came for dinner and it made it look a bit more special!. What does everyone do if a recipe says to coat your meat in a bit of flour before browning... I only used a tablespoon of flour so I wasnt too worried about it, perhaps I should have used corn flour rather than normal flour??? Or coconut flour... thoughts on this please. I want to stop using the excuse, "oh its only a tblespn of flour not to worry"

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                • I use rice flour or potato starch for mine. It works well. Coconut flour doesn't thicken up very well I've heard.
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                  • Originally posted by Suse View Post
                    pretty quiet weekend. Foodwise been a bit of a mixed bag. Definitely seem to be eating a bit more gluten lately, and I have noticed that I have needed to take a puff on my asthma inhaler a few times in the middle of the night lately. So really need to get that back under control. Having said that, just had a team morning tea where I ate sausage rolls and had a scone and a piece of choc cake. yeah all loaded with gluten. I've had a few sort of minor stomach aches, or at least colon aches???? Nothing major, but definitely something. I cant see how it isnt related to having bready stuff. eg friday, well i had toast for breakfast and felt a pain in my abdomen later in day, and also on Saturday I had a burger and ate half teh bun, and same.
                    Hmmmm...

                    Originally posted by Suse View Post
                    What does everyone do if a recipe says to coat your meat in a bit of flour before browning... I only used a tablespoon of flour so I wasnt too worried about it, perhaps I should have used corn flour rather than normal flour??? Or coconut flour... thoughts on this please. I want to stop using the excuse, "oh its only a tblespn of flour not to worry"
                    I'm trying to figure this out too...
                    "Be careful what you pretend to be because you are what you pretend to be." Kurt Vonnegut
                    "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams
                    "Moderation sucks." Suse
                    "Wine is a vegetable." Meaty
                    "Every decision you make, from what you eat to what you do with your time tonight, turns you into who you are tomorrow and the day after that." Cmdr Chris Hadfield


                    Winencandy

                    Comment


                    • I just skip the flour part altogether, but then of course, you don't get the same thickening action, which doesn't really bother me much.

                      Interesting about the connection between eating gluten containing foods and the belly issues. Does that mean you're going to cut more of them out? Finally?? Easier to cut that stuff than the wine...
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                      • Originally posted by Greensprout View Post
                        Interesting about the connection between eating gluten containing foods and the belly issues. Does that mean you're going to cut more of them out? Finally?? Easier to cut that stuff than the wine...
                        I'll never give up the wine I definitely think it is the bread specifically that was giving me the stomach pains. but perhaps just a bit of a build up lately on gluten products... hence the issues. Dont know. In some ways I dont want to avoid every little thing with gluten in case I then get to a point where I have something with a bit of gluten accidentally and then whammo, ooh I'm not feeling too good. I think there's a balance in there somewhere!

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                        • so hopefully today I'll stick with the program! No sausage rolls, no pastry on pies, no cake, no scones etc. Cant say no wine... I am going to a friends for dinner so realistically, it wont happen.

                          Had an awesome sleep last night which kind of surprised me. I always go to bed a bit later when the fireman is at work...maybe that helps. Scales jumped up a bit from yesterday, which is not surprising, but strangely I looked in the mirror this morning and quite liked what I saw! Weird... there really is just no knowing how the brain/eye connection works, why do I look good today and not others? Got the tape measure out and the waist line has dropped back to 29 inches again so happy about that.

                          Nothing else of any interest to report.

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                          • Originally posted by Suse View Post
                            so hopefully today I'll stick with the program! No sausage rolls, no pastry on pies, no cake, no scones etc. Cant say no wine... I am going to a friends for dinner so realistically, it wont happen.
                            A great day so far.

                            Originally posted by Suse View Post
                            I looked in the mirror this morning and quite liked what I saw! Weird... there really is just no knowing how the brain/eye connection works, why do I look good today and not others? Got the tape measure out and the waist line has dropped back to 29 inches again so happy about that.
                            Nice Yeah, funny how the mind works sometimes. Each of us probably looks pretty much the same every day to others, regardless of how we see ourselves that day, when you think about it. At least that's how I see most of the people around me. Though it gets me wondering sometimes when someone says "hey, you look really great today", and some inside voice is saying "so does that mean I look like crap the rest of the time??". Just a thought. No idea what that means.
                            My musings

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                            • well I've had a small fail in that there were croutons in my salad. I always forget to tell them to not put them in. I picked most of them out, but probably ate about 6. Why I even bothered with those 6 is beyond me... oh well.
                              Yeah, funny how the mind works sometimes. Each of us probably looks pretty much the same every day to others, regardless of how we see ourselves that day, when you think about it. .
                              I think this is true for the most part. I'm just going to take today as a win, in that I woke up, looked in the mirror and thought hey, you dont look to bad!

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                              • went to a friends for dinner and had a HUGE meal. She stuffed some baby chickens with a mushroom and truffle risotto, then roasted them. Had that with carrots, beans and brocoli. Delicious! But a much bigger meal than I normally eat! But probably a good thing seeing as I was having a few wines!

                                Just had a HUGE breakfast. Ham, cheese, mushroom omelette with bacon on the side. If I carry on with all these huge meals I'll be huge. Will probably just have a protein shake for lunch today as it is the day before payday and I'm feeling particularly broke.

                                Sent my brother a big email yesterday, will be interesting to see if he responds. Was having a chat with my friends last night about all this mum/brother/lawyer biz. I said I just cant fight all the battles together, i have to pick and choose and prioritise what is most important. There is a part of me that just feels like rolling over and saying 'oh someone else look after it' but if I do that, nothing will happen. But I do not intend to let it stress me out. That is definite.

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