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Zee's Whole30 Primal Journal

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  • #31
    Woke up at 3:30 am which is not unusual... an hour before necessary on the weekday and waaaaaaaay more early than necessary on the weekend. SORE! Mostly from the workout, not the skating, given tricep soreness. Some of it is from skating though. Hoping my knee doesn't ache later from the fall.

    Decided to 'treat' myself with the last K-cup of Chai Latte. It has milk and soy in it. It's the last one we have and sooo good. Savoring every sip.

    Thinking to visit my mom today. I'll give her a call after breakfast to see if she'll be home. Might even get her to drag out her Christmas decorations and decorate. Doing so was always a tradition on my birthday while growing up; she wanted me to come over and continue it when I was younger but I always balked at it. Funny how traditions become more important as you age.
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    • #32
      Ooh, Chai Lattes were my downfall. I am almost savoring yours vicariously. Enjoy the weekend, Zee.
      Never argue for your limitations.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by Grokalicious View Post
        Ooh, Chai Lattes were my downfall. I am almost savoring yours vicariously. Enjoy the weekend, Zee.
        I will! Hope you do too.

        So I am working my way through the book, and reading more this morning it became quite clear that my choices this week ... Well, I knew they weren't "approved" but I made them anyway. Going to stop that. I do not plan on starting over... Maybe some will think I should but I'm not. I am recommitting myself to the plan as outlined which means no more "treating myself" with dairy or sugar products. No matter how small an amount it may be, it is not insignificant and I am in this for the full effect possible.

        Back to basics.
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        • #34
          I feel guilty.

          Whole30 allows no dairy except clarified butter or ghee, no soy, and no sugar in any form. I had Chai Latte yesterday. I mentioned this already and had planned on just continuing on... not starting over. It was a one-time treat and I was okay with that. Yesterday afternoon I was browsing through ISWF and read the part about not cheating. Well... darn.

          I also have to admit that I used unclarified butter at least once, if not twice. Most of the time I've used coconut or olive oil, but at the very beginning I used butter. Not grass-fed either.

          Earlier this week I made pumpkin pudding with agave syrup. Duh. I didn't feel guilty for that, figured it was such a small amount, it would be okay. But it is not okay.

          And THEN, I made chicken curry for lunch yesterday. Oh so good. I've never made it before and absolutely LOVED it. I didn't check the label for the fish sauce I had in my fridge. It's fish sauce! Why would that have... oh, look. It has fructose.

          Fantastic!

          So now I cannot continue to claim that I'm in the middle of a Whole30. I have to start over. But I do not want to be in the middle of a Whole30 for Christmas. Or New Years. I want to be able to treat myself a little... have those Christmas desserts that I enjoy... a drink or two. I wanted to be "done" with my Whole30 before Christmas, when my younger son is home on Block Leave and his best friend is here (also a Soldier). So we could go out and celebrate, or make dinners together without any restrictions.

          And! Today's my birthday. I was most definitely okay with not having cake for my birthday. It's not something I enjoy all that much anyway... the cake was more for the kids (and they're grown and not here this year). I also didn't mind that I'd not be able to have a drink in order to remain compliant. But since I'm not compliant as it is I'm kind of thinking, what's the point? Go ahead and have it. I don't want it though... I mean, a glass of wine might sound good tonight but it's not normally something I would indulge in at 5:30 AM anyway.

          Okay. So I screwed up the Whole30. Not just once or twice, but at least 3 times - intentionally eating things that I knew weren't allowed. I'm not starting over though. Not because I am planning on "cheating" but right now it feels like if I were to do that, I'd be setting myself up for failure. And for feeling guilty when that happens. I feel freaking guilty for having curry made with fish sauce that has fructose in it?!! For using unclarified butter?!! For a single. Chai Latte. That's not healthy for me. I do not want to force myself into some artificial "diet" that means I actually feel GUILTY if I don't follow it. That's... that's just not right.

          I plan to enjoy my chicken curry for lunch today. Fructose be damned.

          I'm not really sure what that means for my "diet" now. By the way, I put "diet" in quotes because it's not a traditional diet.... about losing weight or whatever. It is just the word I use for "what I'm going to eat". Anyway... maybe I'll actually buy the Primal Blueprint, or one of the Paleo books and follow one of those plans. No grains makes sense to me. Dairy... well... I like butter. I've got to try the Kerrygold... maybe I'll clarify it first.

          Meals yesterday:
          B: Chai Latte. 2 eggs with 5 sausage links.
          L: Thai chicken curry. Green tea.
          D: Pinwheel steak w/bacon. Steamed broccoli. Green tea. 2 Medjool dates.


          I still feel guilty... eh, maybe it's more disappointment. Blah.
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          • #35
            I say, so what! Guilt be damned. Eat what works for you in the context of your life and the holiday season. Eat and enjoy, sip and savour!

            Not to mention your birthday. Happy birthday! Here's to an amazing year ahead.
            Never argue for your limitations.

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            • #36
              Thanks. I did enjoy my birthday. Oldest son and two of my brothers called. One friend sent a text, another posted on Facebook (which prompted a few others to post as well... my birthday isn't shared on there).

              Family drama (in case you want to skip):
              I called my mom Saturday morning because I wanted to come up to see her. She was thinking to maybe have lunch with me Sunday but wasn't sure what their plans were Saturday, so would have to let me know after Dad got up. Saturday night, I saw an email she had sent that morning saying they would be home all afternoon. I replied and let her know I didn't see the email until then or I would have come up. Cue disappointment.

              Then I waited for a reply email (checked multiple times during the day just in case) or phone call on Sunday. She sent me a message on Facebook at 10pm... after I had gone to bed, saying they're sorry we couldn't make it up for lunch - must have done something special w/my husband.

              Thanks for letting me know, Mom. Any other time we plan to visit, she calls in the AM to see what time we're going to be there. So what gives?? I'm just not sure how to respond now. I'm hurt and disappointed, but don't want to make her sad...
              End of drama

              Anyway. I clarified butter in the morning, then used a bit to cook 3 eggs. Ate those with roasted sweet potatoes. Red Robin for lunch: bunless burger, sweet potato fries... drink and dessert. Curry for dinner. Some of the chocolates my in-laws got me for my birthday.

              Did the detox bath that has been mentioned in a few other journals. I don't usually enjoy baths but the soak was nice. I just listed to music by candlelight.
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              • #37
                Originally posted by Zee View Post
                By the way, I put "diet" in quotes because it's not a traditional diet.... about losing weight or whatever. It is just the word I use for "what I'm going to eat".
                It's not just your word for what diet means, it's the dictionary's. Diet literally means "what you eat." I don't know enough about sociological history to know just how/when people came to understand it as "temporarily changing the way I eat to lose weight." And I try to not get worked up about it, but it's actually a bit of a tooth grinder for me when people say stuff like "I'M NOT ON A DIET!!!! IT'S A LIFESTYLE CHANGE!!!" or "DIETS ARE BAD!!!" Maybe it's because my mother's a dietitian? /endrant

                Anyway, maybe you could start over again after New Year's? I feel like a bit of a wimp for being unwilling to start my Whole30 during the holidays, but like you said, I'd just be setting myself up for failure. So I'm eating primal most days and enjoying a treat when one presents itself. It's better than nothing, I figure.

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                • #38
                  Eating primal most days seems to be rather in line with the 80/20 idea, which is perfectly acceptable. Whole30 is an all or nothing plan, but primal doesn't seem to be as strict. It's life.

                  Thanks for the vocabulary lesson. :-)
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                  • #39
                    Just poking my head in to say 'hi'.

                    And...my Mongolian place will let you bring your own oils and sauces. Something to consider...Happy Birthday!...just do a Part 30. You're already feeling better, right? That's the most important. And talk about artificial- I've always felt the '30' part was completely anti-thetical to the concept. They should make it a moon-cycle!

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                    • #40
                      Hi Sabine! *waves*

                      I didn't even think about bringing in my own sauces. There's quite a variety already... will have to make a note to really see what's there and what I might want to bring of my own. Thanks for the birthday wish.

                      A Part 30? Hmm. That sounds doable!

                      Yesterday's meals were ... 2 hard-boiled eggs with the rest of the roasted sweet potatoes ... more curry ... 2 Trader Joe's salmon burgers with a salad. And 3 chocolates.

                      Today's meals: curry (it's almost gone!) ... taco salad (minus the shell) at a local Mexican restaurant ... and my husband is making boneless beef ribs and steamed broccoli for dinner.

                      I have a headache again, which is being blamed on the excessive carbs from Sunday. Due to the headache, I'm not interested in lifting tonight (to make up for missing it at lunch). So today's a rest day. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
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                      • #41
                        I envy you, Zee. You seem to easily embrace the whole 80/20 thingy and I simply can not. Maybe when I finish the oh-so-strict Whole 30 I will be able to succeed with 80/20. Dunno. But envious of you, indeed.

                        Never argue for your limitations.

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                        • #42
                          It's rather surprising me, actually. I usually go all out with something new, be it a workout, hobby or whatever. Then that gets replaced by the next new thing. Thus far, I am truly enjoying cooking. It helps that I'm not starving(!) such that I must eat immediately... gives me time to consider what I want/can make. Of course, sometimes that means dinner isn't until 8 p.m. like tonight!

                          Yesterday's meals: B: Tuna in nori, kalamata olives, dill spears. Macadamia nuts. L: The rest of the curry. Salad w/store-bought italian dressing. D: Liver and onions! (Never liked liver but MAN was it good.) 2 dates.

                          Today's meals: B: Bluberries, blackberries & raspberries in coconut milk smoothie. L: Tuna and dill spears. Salad w/olive oil and balsamic vinegar (tasty! must do that again). D: Chicken cooked in garlic ginger "marinade" (from the new book!), kale, onion, bacon in turkey broth (Sabine style - also tasty!).

                          New workout yesterday, the first one in Stage 3 of NROLFW. I am SORE today. Had planned on a bath tonight but just don't have time. Maybe I'll take one in the morning.

                          Walked at lunch today on the 'mill while I caught up on a few things on the 'Net and starting reading PB. (Finally bought the book.)

                          Our younger son called this afternoon to get his travel information. (He is in Basic Training right now, coming home for Block Leave over the holidays.) I was on my way home and didn't have it with me. Long story short, he already had it in his locker - in mail that came today but he hadn't had time to open yet. So he's all set to come home. YAY! Unfortunately, he's currently sick which is making training difficult. Hope he can kick that soon.

                          Which reminds me, I need to get some pictures printed up and ready to mail to him. Off I go!
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                          • #43
                            Busy, busy bee. That's me this past week. Quick(ish) recap: work and more work, cookie/candy making with my mom, grocery shopping, cookie/candy eating... fast food eating... more cookies and candy plus a beer or three over the past week means I've gained back 2# that I'd lost. I also realized that I have rather strong willpower to avoid anything so long as I avoid it completely. I can have ZERO cookies or candy or alcohol and be fine. If I have ONE... then I am fine... but the next time I have two, then six, then I stopped counting.

                            So, I'm going to avoid all cookies and candy and alcohol for today. Just for today.

                            Maybe I need a 12-step program?
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                            • #44
                              One week in the scheme of things matters not. It's a tough time of year to stay strong. This I know!
                              Never argue for your limitations.

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                              • #45
                                Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas.

                                Happy New Year!!

                                The holidays are now behind us. My kids were able to come home for ~2 weeks to visit, which was absolutely wonderful. They're now gone, and their best friend (who is like my third son) will be leaving later today. I'll take the weekend to clean the house, laundry etc. and generally get things back in order around here.

                                Last weekend the boys and I went snowboarding. It was my second time ever. I hated it, and loved it. Then regretted it just a bit the next day, and the day after that. Actually, no regret... but BOY was I sore!!! I could hardly move. I have really done no exercising this week, though I know that a little activity would likely help resolve the remaining issues. I'll either walk at lunchtime today, or try a little roller skating tonight. Perhaps both. Time will tell.

                                I've definitely gained back some of the weight I'd lost lately. It was expected the way I let go. I enjoyed my holidays and do not regret that at all, but do plan to return to the Primal WOL. The short amount of time that I had eschewed grains and sugar had me feeling SO good that it would be silly to ignore. I have yet to finish the book. Maybe I'll do that this weekend.

                                Let's see... that means my to do list for the weekend is laundry, vacuuming, bathroom and general house cleaning and pickup. Hair appointment. Clean the refrigerator (long overdue) and clean it OUT. Arrange the pantry and cupboard of what foods remain from the boys' visit, tossing or giving away what we won't eat. Also need to clean the fish tank, clip dogs' nails and brush them well. Should at least vacuum the car, if not wash it, too.

                                I'm tired just making that list!! lol

                                Have a good weekend, all.
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