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Still on the Warpath: Naiadknight's Battle Tome

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  • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Good thinking with the savings. Hulky and I are trying to decide how to tackle my loans. After we get through his (car & medical, so fairly minimal), he wants to start tackling my student loans as a joint venture. Seems odd to me, since it's such a personal debt, but it will get us to larger savings & moving on/out/away much faster, so that is good! Interest rates are confusing to me. I thought none of mine would change, but then I saw one at 6.8% and I'm pretty sure it used to be 6.5%. At least that's the smallest balance one and the others have definitely not changed. I'll knock that sucker out first!
    Once you're married, your credit will affect his, unless every single time you borrow money from now until death you only do it as a single person and not as a married couple. In recent months, because of debt ratios, Brad and I have had to apply for things jointly if we wanted a good rate. If you were to buy a hosue together, chances are you'd apply jointly, in which case your personal debt will be a factor. You two are a team now. Very seldom will there be a situation of your money vs his money. As a married couple, things change and even stuff from our pasts have to be tackled as a team instead of singly. We paid of Brad's student loans before we were even married (he only borrowed $3500 - compared to my $50,000). It might be MY debt, but it's our problem b/c it affects our household finances. It's nice that he's thinking this way already. It'll make things so much easier when they're legally just as much his burden as they are yours (at least, that's how it works in Iowa).
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • NK, congrats on defeating another debt. it's such an awesome feeling.
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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      • This one wasn't as critical as the other. I did it mostly to give myself peace of mind. The loan maturity date on the car is August 2014. If I really went balls to the wall on it and allowed for little to no pleasure money and didn't sock back to savings, I could probably pay it off by May or June. I've been burnt too much to do that, though.
        I finally went home sick about 1430. I came home and crashed for 3.5 hrs. I feel slightly better, but not by much.
        Having a fb talk with my youngest sister. She's dating one of Dad's friend's sons (one of her longest running to date) and trying to figure out how/ when to tell the parents. She's also trying to figure out how to get someone to give her driving time so she can get her license. (Tells you how much Mom and Dad care- all 3 of us were of or very near drinking age before we learned to drive.) She got an internship with Bell Helicopter this summer, but that's in Ft Worth (She lives in a suburb north of Dallas.) I'm glad she trusts me enough to tell me this stuff though, even f I may not get ALL of it.
        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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        • The douchebag neighbors have been replaced by rational pod people. I wrote them a note the morning after our discussion, apologizing for hosing his dogs down and some of the less savory parts or our discussion, as well as thoroughly explaining why we want their dogs to be quiet and what we have done on our end to drown the dogs out. The guy came over today and said that he had replaced the gate with a solid gate so that the dogs hopefully wouldn't bark as much, being unable to see through the gate. He even wants us to let him know whether or not it works! I'm not sure who these people are, but I like having rational neighbors.
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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          • Still feeling shitty, but not as bad. Sleeping a fair chunk of yesterday evening and afternoon helped but not enough. Trying to determine whether I need to go to work or not.
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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            • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
              Thanks, doc. I decided to go with socking back to pay off the house, as the house has a higher interest rate and significantly more owed. Also socking back to pay off these things, as opposed to paying extra each month, means I have a slush fund if things go south.
              .
              One thing to consider about interest is that you can write house interest payments off your taxes, but not the others ( unless the rules have changed for student loans) , so that interest rate would need to be like 25-30% higher, plus house loans have the interest paid up front which is another wrench in the works when trying to figure out what to pay off first. Another thing to consider is that the money you stash in the bank will earn almost no interest these days. A slush fund is definitely a must, but make sure you consider these factors as well ( and maybe you have - I know you are a smart cookie) when choosing what to pay first and when.

              Kudos for paying off your loan - being debt free is a wonderful freedom that I know you will experience one day

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              • Glad your neighbors are being reasonable. Sorry you are feeling ill. Think it's a bug or just general run-down-ness?

                MF, student loan interest can still be written off on taxes. It gives me a little bit more money every year once I enter them (though I guess I've only had to enter them in taxes two years now, being in my third year of pay-off).
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                • Yeah, I think it's Form 1099- INT. We can also write off interest accrued in my savings account, as well as the house (and part of the payments, I think, under the homestead exemption.) It came down to which "cost" more each month and how things would hurt if we got well and truly fucked. I can get a deferral if I absolutely have to on the student loans. If we lose the house, we're truly up shit creek. Getting the house paid off would give us shelter if things went to hell, and something to borrow against, if it came down to that. Paying off the student loans does nothing for us in terms of equity or physical protection. Once I get the car paid off, we should both be able to funnel an extra 500-1k a month into the joint savings. Once his gets paid off, that'll go up again. That's in addition to the savings chunk built in to the monthly bill pay pull. Within the joint accounts alone, we have 3 months bills (it may be 4 or 5 now) set back if we both lose our jobs and 6 months if only one loses their job. That's not including what he has stashed in his checking or what I have stashed in my checking and savings. We have a plan that'll work, it involves me staying employed long enough to make it work.
                  Which, in turn, involves me not getting sick. I think this is actual sick, not burn out. No fever or outward indicators, just the "oh god, I really don't have the energy to move", lack of appetite, and sleeping a lot.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                  • Awesome savings plan. I wish we could get to that point sooner! We don't even have one month's worth of rent saved right now, so you can imagine my worry about getting money saved up for a wedding.

                    Feel better! Drink some KE Tea .
                    Depression Lies

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                    • Y'all'll get there. It just takes time. (yeah, I know, I hate hearing that line, too.)
                      I just took a hot bath in the hopes of driving out whatever is causing this illness. I feel a little better, but not as much as I'd hoped. Aleve didn't do squat.
                      I wish I knew how accurate the iodine patch test really is. Some sources say it's a joke, some say it's better than any other test and I can't seem to find an answer I'm comfortable with. It wouldn't surprise me if I was low in iodine (I tend to avoid salt without realizing it, and being landlocked means seafood is overpriced.) I just don't want to start a potentially harmful therapy if the test means little to nothing more than a guess. I know that, with my results, he'll want to start me on some form of iodine or sea vegetables. I'm kinda hoping for the veggies, because at least that way, my body can take only what it wants and waste the rest. Then again, if the patch test is useful and reliable, then drops/ pills would heal me more quickly, I think. I dunno. I never took the whole iodine deficiency thing seriously, mostly because of the original spouter on the boards here. I knew it existed, but I figured that iodized salt meant that very few people got it.
                      He also mentioned selenium deficiency, which I highly doubt. I know how that manifests in me and I haven't gotten the cravings recently.
                      He mentioned that it could be my adrenal glands dragging down my thyroid production. I'm not sure on that one. I mean, my original diagnosis was during a very stress period in my life, so it would make sense that adrenal issues caused thyroid issues, but that doesn't sound right, in terms of what I've experimented with. If it actually is true, awesome, I can actually "cure" my thyroid issue eventually. I'm just not putting money on it without further proof.
                      He did say that it appeared to be simply that I need Armour or the like, and these tests are just to double check that.
                      I hate being in limbo, but this is more answer than I've had to date.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                      • *TRIGGER WARNING*
                        I have mentioned before that this journal is a way of me dealing with my past, especially the parts that I've had locked away for quite some time. This is one of the darker parts of my past, one of the times I stopped my mother from suicide. (I've blocked a lot of this, but memory is needed to recover.)
                        I don't remember how old I was. I was old enough to be my mother's keeper, and in high school. I was watching my sisters, trying to keep them occupied and quiet, because mom seemed preoccupied and in a bad mood. I noticed she went outside and didn't think anything of it until I realized the mower wasn't going and she hadn't taken any laundry with her. Mom isn't one to just go outside to be outside. I tell my sisters to stay in the bedroom and stay quiet, I need to go do something. I walk outside and start looking for Mom. I find her with one of the kitchen knives sitting under their bedroom window. I sit down next to her and ask her to hand me the knife. She shakes her head and says for me not to worry, it'll all be ok. "Mom, you don't need to do this, we'll be good. Give me the knife, please." (I still hear those words in my nightmares.) "This has nothing to do with you kids. You'll be fine." "Mom, we need you here. Give me the knife." More back and forth ensued, and she finally gave me the knife. I go into the kitchen and return it, as quickly as I dared, and went back outside after making sure my sisters hadn't killed each other or the cat. I talked to her and got her back inside after she quit staring at her wrist. I never did figure out what her reason was that day. I don't know that my father ever found out. I wouldn't be surprised if the only people that knew that story until now were her and me.
                        *END TRIGGER WARNING*
                        That bright, sunny Texas afternoon still appears in my nightmares. Not very often, not as deeply buried as it is. I know it wasn't our fault, but there are days those nasty thoughts walk across my brain, less now than they used to. I know there was something in her head that pointed her that way, nothing we/ I did. Among other things, that's one of the few things I've had much trouble forgiving her for. I don't hold a grudge, far from it. I just don't trust her. I honestly think the last time I trusted her was before I hit double digits in age. I realize she would never intentionally hurt us. I also realize that her definition of hurting us and my definition are worlds apart. I spent much of my childhood trying to protect her. It should have been the other way around. I know, coulda, woulda, shoulda. I also know that child should be able to completely trust their parents. I trusted neither of them for most of my young life. I trusted them not to kill me, that was about as far as that went. Am I the fuck up I've seen in the mirror most of my life? Probably not completely. Am I that girl from that summer? That plus a few more varieties of fucked up. Should I have had to do that? Emphatically, no, but someone had to and I was the only option. I want to trust her again, I want her to be my mother and I not her keeper. I don't see that happening. I'm no longer her keeper, but it's too easy to slip back into that roll at the slightest hint of trouble. My mother hasn't been a mother since... well, since my youngest sister was born. She started pulling into her own head around that time. I figure it was post partum that spiraled worse and worse. That doesn't help calm the little girl back then who couldn't think of anyone that she could talk to. That doesn't help me now with forgiving my mother for not being one and for making me grow up too damn fast. I got tastes of childhood, more than some, I know. I didn't get a full childhood. I stopped being a kid around 9 or 10. At that point, I was consumed with being perfect, so that Mom would be happy and Dad would be happy and we could be a real family again, not the shell we projected.
                        I still focus on perfect, if I'm not careful. I still focus on projecting that calm, poised unruffled self if I'm not careful. I can't win against my past, but maybe I can win against my future.
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                        • Today's game plan:
                          -NOT write down that basal temperature. I think the tossing and turning I do as I wake up on the weekends made that one come out high.
                          -Hit the thrift stores for kid clothes. A friend has requested that I make her another round of appliqued clothes for her infant as he's outgrown the ones I already made him. I may also look for clothes for me, although I'm not feeling very good about my body today.
                          -See if Mentor wants to get together for coffee and a book exchange, so I can give her the SER. I think she's still sick, though.
                          -Stay primal today, always way too hard on a Saturday.
                          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                          My Latest Journal

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                          • Sometimes finding some well-fitting clothing can make all the difference for body image issues. A men's size small t-shirt fits my shoulders perfectly and puts me into a slightly androgynous look. It's my favorite look, really. Today I'm wearing a striped thermal shirt (big dark and light gray stripes) that goes long enough to cover my hips and some jeans from Target that I took in below the knees for a straight fit. Somehow, it accentuates my curves just right and I feel adorable in it.

                            Uh, sorry for gushing ><

                            Hope your day is relaxing!
                            Depression Lies

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                            • I found an awesome shirt at the thrift store: a steel gray button up made by one of my favorite brands that fits perfectly. Based on the fact that the shoulders are gathered and kinda pouffy and that a small fit me perfectly, this sat in someone's closet for at lest a few years.
                              Appliqueing and embroidering this stuff for a friend's baby almost makes me want one. Almost. Then the logical realistic part of my brain kicks in and says "no."
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

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                              • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                                Appliqueing and embroidering this stuff for a friend's baby almost makes me want one. Almost. Then the logical realistic part of my brain kicks in and says "no."
                                Teehee. I'm reading The Better Baby Book right now, by Dave & Lana Asprey (Dave's the Bulletproof Exec guy). Lots of useful information (even if you're not looking at babies), lots of research, lots of telling my husband, "no, you can't have one right now."
                                Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

                                If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

                                Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

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