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Still on the Warpath: Naiadknight's Battle Tome

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  • I think you're on the right path with trying to find the junction between creativity/ something that's been in the work subconsciously for a while and the waking world. I have an idea as to what it might be. I think the pain isn't so much sealing something off as cauterizing an old wound. Reason I say that is even the most intense pain, was, dulled and muted, like I was on a morphine pump jacked up to high.
    I think it's my brain telling me that I've officially healed from the most distressing parts of my childhood and past and now I can take that emotional energy and creativity and funnel it elsewhere.
    On a similar note, I'm thinking about dropping Al- Anon. I've done what I set out to do: I healed and found out how to heal further if anything else crops up. I'm not sure I quite can yet, as I have a position on the service board, but I can figure something out for that. I may just do my service stuff and stay away from the meetings. I know I'm supposed to stay on to help others, but I think I'm doing my version of that elsewhere. It was an excellent bridge and form of free therapy, but I'm n the other side now. I hear what it must seem like to a healthy person: a bunch of helpless schmucks who haven't found their ladder yet or refuse to step off the top of it and occasionally or constantly hop down to wallow in the mud with the schmucks without a ladder. I don't feel superior to them, really, more that they've served their purpose and I can leave now.
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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    • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
      I think you're on the right path with trying to find the junction between creativity/ something that's been in the work subconsciously for a while and the waking world. I think it's my brain telling me that I've officially healed from the most distressing parts of my childhood and past and now I can take that emotional energy and creativity and funnel it elsewhere.
      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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      • Amazing that you remember dreams so clearly.

        I am so happy that you have gained so much from your al-anon experience. I agree, that there is a time to move on from that group. I had a similar experience with overeater's anonymous.
        Primal since 9/24/2010
        "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

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        • I think that decision may have been part of what was fueling my insomnia. When I've got some big question or decision weighing down my subconscious mind, it often affects my waking moments in odd ways. It's like I've set it on back burner on high, but keep checking on it while I do this more delicate work with the front burners to make sure it doesn't boil over. Whatever it was, I was able to sleep "right" last night. I'm sure the Zzzquil knockoff (Benadryl in liquid form, no NSAIDs) last night helped.
          In other news, I think I've found the perfect way to wash my hair: "honey-poo" weekly, ACV rinse every few days, and a few fingertips of coconut oil on the ends at the midweek point. It's encouraging the wave I never had when I was shampooing and that only moderately appeared with co- washing. It definitely seems to be encouraging growth. THe piece' de resistance: my scalp is FINALLY happy, after years of dandruff and scungy scalp, after every known dandruff shampoo and cure (including tea tree oil) failing, and after baking soda just made it worse.
          Now to yoga and walk to Fourbucks to study.
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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          • Paula- I've always had a near total recall of "important" dreams. The usual detritus of the brain filing and organizind, not so much. my mom claims that the women down her Mom's side of the family have always had the intuitive dreams. They tend to start occurring around puberty. There's always some mental marker that catches and let's you know "hey, this one's not trash." The female's down that line have always had "the intuition," or a more direct link to the psychic plane. The word "psychic" is never used, as that smacks of fakery and crystal balls. THese are more about hunches, gut feelings, dreams, and the occasional "flash" (wave of really intense psychic information.) The flashes and intuition seem to be getting strong in each passing generation. I've learned to channel it and be able to ask it questions, which my mom could never do. My mom had more and stronger flashes than my grandmother. My grandmother had the flashes, which my great grandmother purportedly never had.
            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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            • When you do the ACV rinse every few days, is that to re-hydrate the ends or does it strip the oil for you? I am able to do 5-6 days between baking soda washes w/ an ACV rinse (only for the ends) and it's going okay, but my hair has always been pretty oily. I suppose it'll just take time. I haven't been doing "normal" shampooing for about a year though (used sls & paraben-free 'poo and conditioner every few days and then conditioner-only for a while). When my hair felt less grungy and more oily between washes, I felt like it was time to try a shamphree method again.
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              • It helps rebalance the system for me by moving the oil further down the hair shafted (translation:moves the grease from the roots to the drier ends.) I never could get the baking soda version to work. Just too harsh on my hair.
                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                • So you use the ACV on your roots exclusively or all over?

                  My hair feels kind of fragile at the rights on the first night, right after a BS wash. As soon as my natural oil comes back the next day, it feels fine. I'm adjusting the amount to see if I can make it work, just gathering info on what else to try. The first time I tried this, I used the ACV rinse all over my head and it felt better immediately after the wash, but my hair would get really oily (all over) after a day or two. Most of the guides I read say to start with using the baking soda only on the roots and the ACV only on the ends, so that's why I'm starting with that.
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                  • I'm using it on the length of the hair and not the roots.
                    In other news, I'm extraordinarily proud of myself for my food choices at lunch. I was out and about and HONGRAY, so I stopped at HEB to see what quick food I could find. I narrowly averted disaster at the sushi counter (they put WHEAT in their sushi rice and summer roll wrappers- WTF?), decided I didn't want soup and that frozen dinner was a bas idea, and left empty handed. I almost went to Jack in the Box before I decided it wasn't safe without further research. I narrowly avoided going to Chipotle because I was too lazy to look up their allergen menu. I came home and am having eggs, bacon, grape tomatoes and a banana.
                    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                    • I think I want to make a Chipotle dinner with leftovers. Leftover meat and veggies from the grill out Sunday, make some lime rice add some more veggies.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                      • No, it's not paleo. It's not on any approved diet except df/gf, but it WAS damn tasty. Breakfast was gluten free buckwheat blueberry frozen awfuls with loganberry jam and maple syrup and with eggs fried in chorizo on the side.
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                        • I bombed C25K today. Well, I learned some things about my temperature/ humidity tolerances and what was causing those NASTY side cramps, so it wasn't a total loss. I think I may have crossed the hump with running. I do enjoy it and look forward to it, even if I'm not the best in the world at it.
                          With the weird symptoms, I think my selenium/ iodine ratio was off. I ditched the brazil nuts and went back to selenium yeast (a version that the body turns into selenium methionine) as a test. The symptoms went away. I think the selenium dose in the nuts is just too variable for what I need. Also, I realized I was taking too much selenium: it was 200ug per week, not per day.
                          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
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                          • Excuse me while I freak out over here. My middle sister (the one with a checkered past) is posting wedding dress links on Facebook. I'm hoping she's just daydreaming. She's only known this one for 6 months. Last time she rushed into marriage, he was on the run from the law from the start.
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

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                            • Supposedly, she's only dreaming and drooling. I still don't trust that.
                              I'm also doing a sulfite challenge today. I picked up a bag of sulfited, dried apples and we'll see what happens.
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

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                              • Yeesh I don't blame you!

                                At least keep that stuff private... Before Hulky and I were official engaged, I kept my wedding-related Pinterest board private
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