Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Still on the Warpath: Naiadknight's Battle Tome

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I'm not so sure I'd ever consider myself "tough". I've never been in a fist fight, but I can talk my way out of any situation. If I were in a situation where I was facing rape or death by the hands of another, I doubt I could protect myself. I can shoot a gun, but not well. I'm not even sure I'd want to be close enough to another person to throw a punch or have to stab someone with a knife. I'm almost thinking that being a loner and faking confidence has been my saving grace. The one time anyone tried to start a physical altercation with me, I talked them out of it. Yet, I was the one girl in the neighborhood that all the boys wanted on their football team as I wasn't afraid to take anyone down. Other than that, I'm shitty at sports. I remember being told that I throw like a girl and my response was, "no, I throw like shit. There are girls who throw way better than myself and most men, so STFU." When men would cat call at me, I was the first person to tell them to fuck off unless they wanted their balls ripped off or I would tell them my dad was a local police officer and would do things to them that would make the devil blush. My dad had already been dead 3 years and these guys were out of towners and wouldn't know better. On the other hand, I can work on cars, use power tools, etc. Just the thought of someone starting a fist fight with me makes me want to cry. I'm pretty soft in that area lol.
    Georgette

    Comment


    • Geo, you're tougher than you think. Being able to put up a front is often one of the toughest "tough" thing to do. Being able to tell someone off is more than many expect a girl to do.
      I didn't intend to take a 5 hour nap. I know I needed it after only 3 hours last night, but I still didn't mean to sleep that much. Didn't even get to studying.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

      Comment


      • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
        Geo, you're tougher than you think. Being able to put up a front is often one of the toughest "tough" thing to do. Being able to tell someone off is more than many expect a girl to do.
        I didn't intend to take a 5 hour nap. I know I needed it after only 3 hours last night, but I still didn't mean to sleep that much. Didn't even get to studying.
        Thanks. I remember being the only one in my group of friends to do that.

        I took a 3 hour nap yesterday and slept well last night. I got 5 hours the night before and didn't go to bed until 1am Sunday morning.
        Georgette

        Comment


        • I've decided to do a complete circadian reset over the next 36 hours. That means an 18 hour fast, getting up and getting sun early, and making sure I get sun periodically throughout the day tomorrow. It was recently discovered that the body has two methods to determine time: your routine and when you eat. In other words, if a graveyard shifter were to get up at the same time every day and eat at the same time every day, the body will start believing that night is day to a large extent. The way to reset the "gut clock" is a fast of at least 18 hours. When you break your fast is how the body determines morning. Between that and sunlight, it should do a full reset.
          Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
          My Latest Journal

          Comment


          • What do you do with heart? It's beef right? I'm really trying to eat more offal, but for no idea what to do with it except for making Jerusalem mix.

            I love Brazil nuts. They have such a unique, savory taste.
            "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
            -Raymond Peat, PhD

            Comment


            • Marinate it, kebab it, and grill until medium at most. My marinade is olive oil, homemade chili powder, oregano, beef stock, rice wine, salt, and pepper. I'm sure there are other ways, but I always grill mine.
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

              Comment


              • W00t for paleo awfuls (waffles)! Especially the seriously easy version: 3 eggs, 2 bananas, cinnamon to taste, food processor till a smoothish batter.
                Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                My Latest Journal

                Comment


                • Today was actually really productive. I narrowed down exactly what I need to know for the physics side of the exam and realized I could probably pass tomorrow and I could definitely pass with a quick review of the rest of the list. Tomorrow I'll probably finish out the physics half of the studying and start narrowing out/ studying for the math side of the test.
                  Coffee appears to be my friend still, in the correct dose. It did loosen my bowels like it usually does, but not in a bad way. Helped with concentration until I went over the correct dose. (Note to self: get a grande next time.)
                  After studying, I came home and did some yardwork. I finally grubbed out behind a holly tree and a holly shrub that hadn't seen it in years and hauled two bins of yard clippings away to the dumpster (because I'm not putting weed clippings in my compost heap), as well as mowed and swept out the patio and sidewalks.
                  I should probably make dinner, but I'm feeling really lazy. Maybe a sweet potato with heart/ mixed shelfish in tomato sauce on the side. Fuck, I can't remember if I parmed that homemade spag sauce. I think I did, damn it. Maybe a sweet/ white potato hash with leftover meat and chop up the leftover chorizo popper for flavor. That seems like a winner.
                  Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                  My Latest Journal

                  Comment


                  • I gave this it's own topic in Odds and Ends, but I'll bring it up here as well.
                    I think dropping the dairy really did a number on my system. My circadian rhythm is shot to hell; I have some pretty nasty insomnia and more energy than I know what to do with; and my weight's been dropping even though I've been eating more food.
                    My circadian rhythm used to be pretty predictable. Tired by 10, out by midnight, up by noon, not hungry til dinner. Since I stopped having dairy symptoms, I've been having 28- 30 hour "days." Even with that length of "day", I still barely sleep 5 hours before my body refuses to sleep anymore. Up and starving, regardless of sun or moon in the sky. I've tried resetting my circadian and gut clocks. Didn't take. I've tried valerian. Didn't do shit, when it used to be the best thing short of a muscle relaxer. I've tried flat out wearing myself out. I CAN'T. In the same day, I've spent a few hours studying, several hours in the yard, gone for a run, and done weight training, in addition to cooking, cleaning, and an hour of video game. All it takes is 15 minutes to half an hour of nonvigorous movement and I'm back to square one.
                    I've been ravenous. Mind you, I'm tiny, and prior to this WTF ever it is, 1500 cal was about all I could eat of paleo food with MAYBE 75g (300 cal) of that being carbs. Now I'm averaging 1900 cal with 100- 150g carbs per day. I wake up and my body's telling me to EAT ALL THE THINGS (but especially the unfertilized chicken embryos.)
                    Even with the extra food, fucked up circadian rhythm, and lack of sleep, my weight's been steadily dropping. I've lost a good 3 lb (that I'm not sure I can afford to lose without it being muscle) in the past week.
                    I'm at a loss. Google seems to think either my thyroid is fixed or being fixed and I'm high on levthyroxine OR my gut is somehow involved OR both. I'd like to think it's my thyroid and I can cut back my dose, but I'm unsure.
                    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                    My Latest Journal

                    Comment


                    • How long has this sleep thing going on?

                      You are running now. That does require more food to sustain the energy.

                      For Hulky's medication based insomnia, taking a sleep aid for about a week was the only thing that worked to reset him for 6-8 hrs of sleep every night. It has more than valerian root in it. I'll look up the ingredients tonight (something that Whole Paycheck sells, their in-house brand).
                      Depression Lies

                      Comment


                      • I figured that was the hunger, as well as the carbs. The insomnia didn't pop up until right around when the dairy would have cleared my system, about a week ago. It's gotten worse as time's gone on. Back when it started, it turned into a biphasic sleep cycle (siesta style.) Over the weekend, it dropped the nap altogether and my day stretched out. I don't mind the biphasic sleep cycle (it's actually pretty nice) but the migrating 5 hours of sleep is ridiculous.
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                        My Latest Journal

                        Comment


                        • I feel like if I was in your situation, I'd give it more time (another week), but also given your thyroid stuff, possibly visit the doc for refreshed numbers. I seem to remember you went in recently to get an adjustment, or you were going to?
                          Depression Lies

                          Comment


                          • I went in about a month ago, before I went dairy free and discovered the casein allergy. She said the numbers were fine and my thyroid ultrasound was fine. I don't know that the insurance(s) will cover another test so soon after that one, and I'd rather not have yet another medical bill. I think I'll ride it out and see what happens for now.
                            I have noticed that my neck (around where the thyroid is) is no longer as sensitive. It used to be a good half of my neck that was sensitive and even the least bit of touch was enough to make me pull away and swallow. Now, all but the most delicate parts (around the voicebox) are back to what they should be, which means they've healed beyond "normal" for me. The larynx area isn't covered by the thyroid, so I guess that's supposed to be somewhat sensitive/ delicate, given that it's critical for breathing and all. My "Gunkcatcher" seems to have gone away , too, for the most part. (It felt like anything post nasal would catch in a spot back behind the thyroid and stick until I could hock it up.)
                            I think my thyroid may be healing and I may temporarily be going hyper as the Hashi's tries to deal with the lack of a main culprit. Usually, if I've gone temporary hyper before, it was gone in a week. I'll give this another week before seeing what happens.
                            I think I found that the EVIL side stitch I had this morning was my own stupid fault. I could have sworn I had rebroken that badly healed rib at the time. It was in the right place and everything. I actually had to walk the majority of my 2nd 3 minute run because of that. Come to find out, it has to do with when my foot strikes/ breathing and terrain. The pond I run around has a steep gradient hill and a less steep rising hill, because it's a detention basin. The human body apparently doesn't like hills (changes the alignment of the strike and organ jarring) and downright hates them as a beginning runner. I also still haven't mastered the 2 in/ 3 out and 1 in/ 2 out breathing methods, so I keep exhaling as my right foot lands, resulting in overstressing that abdominal sidewall muscle. Add in the steep downward gradient or mild upward gradient (even further overstressing the muscle) and a poorly healed rib, and I felt like I was gonna hafta ask someone to drive me to the ER. Obviously, I'm redoing today's run and not counting it as completed for C25K. Once I can do it without a side stitch 3 times in a row, then I'll go on to the next week.
                            Backyard has been mowed and partially grubbed. It looks better than it did, but still kinda scungy.
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

                            Comment


                            • While I napped earlier, I dreamed a strange dream, one that seemed important. I'll probably interrogate myself via tarot here in a bit about it. I dreamed I was late term pregnant, but not really showing. It was time for the baby, but I was in labor aside from an occasional searing, ripping pain on the right or left side. Several friends and Geek were trying to get me to the hospital (birthing suite?). Unfortunately, it was storming to beat the apocalypse outside. The car was overturned by the winds. Geek was lost in the wreckage somewhere and I was determined to get to the hospital. I could see that all around me and on the horizon were dozens, if not hundreds, of tornadoes and water spouts. Roughly half a mile away, there were a good 6 tornadoes and water spouts dancing around one another. I ended up catching a windsailing kite and catching a wind headed for the hospital. My friends (pretty much all the guy friends I've had over the years that've had crushes on me) were somehow flying on the wind without sails and helping guide me towards the hospital. At one point, there was an F1/ F2 tornado chasing me, effectively nipping at my toes. As it almost got me, I tucked and rolled into the hospital, accompanied by a MASSIVE searing pain down my back. I turned to look at it and the tornado had vanished into the wind. There wasn't any check in, they were expecting me. As I walked towards my assigned suite, I found out why: Geek was suddenly at my elbow and helping me, carrying me as he needed to. We got to the suite and the guys split off to do something, I don't remember what. I laid down on the bed (more a sheet covered board than a bed) and immediately got up to go to the bathroom, at which point I woke up.
                              There are two things that stand out about this dream: it's the first pregnancy dream I've had and it's just like all my other "flying" dreams. I've never actually flown of my own volition in a dream. I've also never free fallen. Every time I'm hurtling through the air, I have some object that is the source of my flight: a wingsuit, a parachute, a glider, a giant feather. In this case, it was painfully obvious, because everyone else was flying and I was stuck with an implement.
                              Obviously, I'm not really pregnant. It probably refers to the gestation of some idea or plan. The wreck and the tornadoes are probably things that have stood in my way that I've avoided. A funny parallel is that I met Geek twice before we started dating. I dunno. I'll need to go digging after it.
                              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                              My Latest Journal

                              Comment


                              • Right. I’m afraid I have been well schooled in dream interpretation by the guru that is Di Badger (do not be led astray by her daughter’s disbelief – my mother has a devoted following, much like David Hasslehoff, she’s big in Germany) and cannot leave this alone.

                                As ever, with these things, sit with it awhile and discard any aspects that don’t resonate for you. I was taught, much like therapy, to repeat the dream back to the person, highlighting what they themselves had just told me. I’m going to, in places, apply two frameworks to this: one is that everyone who appears in the dream is a personification of aspects of you (this is not an approach I am keen on, but there is some of that going on here, I would think) and the other is to look at the levels of space you are occupying and apply those metaphorically to levels of consciousness.

                                Let us begin. Something you’ve grown inside you is nearly ready to be born, but it is not yet externally visible. It is causing you pain, but those pains are searing rather than, say, pressing or shooting. The words you use to describe things are key, so have a think about the connections you make with searing things – are you in the process of sealing something? (Like searing meat – but this is my word game, not yours…think on it.)

                                You try to reach the hospital (birthing suite is queried here – in your dream were you unsure that your destination would serve your purposes?) along the ground (ground = conscious mind), but gusts of violent wind blow you off course, ETA equally, there are all around you there are points of profound disruption with both air and water throwing things around and sucking things up off the ground (tornadoes and waterspouts - I might even see these as points of conflict or attempts at conflict resolution between the two levels of being). Indeed, travelling via conscious routes/mundane roads results in a car crash. The wind and the rain (from the heavens = superconscious/spiritual) are beating you down. You are trying to travel through something worse than the end of the world, but you are determined and you have help from men who have loved you. I think I would see this as you have chosen to surround yourself with personifications of your own animus to help you get there. These aspects of yourself are airborne = higher consciousness/spiritual.

                                The word choice/imagery that comes next is interesting… it’s not just any plane, it’s a Tornado. First apocalyptic storms and now this, whatever it is that the animus of your superconscious is trying to tell you/get you to do (be delivered of what you are carrying/growing safely?), it sure is being forceful about it. But once it chases you to the right place, it disappears back into the sky/weather.

                                Pain in your back = something from a past event. But again, it is searing…in the process of being sealed off?

                                The hospital is expecting you because, again, your animus (this time part of your daily consciousness) has prepared the way for you. There was no one else you needed to check in with. You enter on your own two feet and are grounded, indeed you have been grounded throughout this journey. When you entered the delivery room all your supports went to do something else (no doubt necessary – get help?). You laid down in a hard bed, but then went to the loo. Hmm. This could be understood as voiding/passing emotional waste.

                                The interesting thing is that you woke up before having delivered whatever is gestating inside you.

                                ETA again... I wonder if this is a dream where the destination is the destination. Perhaps the pregnancy is something of a red herring and the deal is to get you to a place of safety. Once you are there you are safe to do whatever you need to, so no need to continue the dream. Also, given what little contextualising info I have from reading your journal, I'd be tempted to see this as a coming to terms with how to integrate the spiritual and the mundane or the conscious and the superconscious together in your life (any journey can be read as a metaphor for life) so that a new life can begin.


                                I feel duty bound to add that I no longer try to interpret my own dreams and feel like all these tools are ultimately of limited worth. As they say, your mileage may vary.
                                Last edited by badgergirl; 07-16-2014, 09:37 PM.
                                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X