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"Your dad is so fat".... Primal Papa's Journal.

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  • For me, it started with my mother and sisters and has moved through work relationships and even my relationship with my husband. I think it started when I was 8 and my mom put me on a diet. Then when I was 11, she would start in with "you're fat. Men do not find fat women to be attractive. You want to attract a man, lose weight." I was 11. Why in the hell would I want to attract a man anyway? Then it became, "you're stupid, you won't amount to anything." Then when I was 19 and dropped out of college due to grades and being unhappy, I got "you're worthless. You will never be anything but worthless." When I met my husband, she told the both of us that I am not the type of woman a man should ever marry. She kept on with this throughout my adult life. The ironic part of this is that when I was 30 and finally dropping weight, she told me that she was proud of me. That was a hard pill to swallow. That you were only proud of me for losing fat? That pissed me off and I went off on her. I told her that I don't think that she ever loved me. I told her that a mother who truly her kids would never say ugly things. That turned into me becoming someone who would basically do anything to feel love and/or acceptance from anyone. I think my husband has picked up on this over the years.
    Georgette

    Comment


    • Originally posted by irishfoxy
      On your chili - this must be an American thing, because this is the first I've ever heard of, and I still don't understand why you would, eat chili over rice. Why? Just eat the chili. Alone. In a bowl. And it doesn't get any more primal than that, right?
      I think it's actually a Yankee thing (ie, northern Americans). Mom's the only one I'd heard of doing it, and she's from Yankee-land. Never hear people down here talk about it. I do it sometimes just to make the chili stretch further.
      Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

      If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

      Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

      Comment


      • Originally posted by Twibble View Post
        I think it's actually a Yankee thing (ie, northern Americans). Mom's the only one I'd heard of doing it, and she's from Yankee-land. Never hear people down here talk about it. I do it sometimes just to make the chili stretch further.

        Well, I was once in Fort Worth and I had chili..... and they served it over pasta!

        I know that you are correct in that many people eat it over rice to save money. I have my own strange thing with chili.... I have to eat it with a big kosher pickle.... It's like tradition for me.
        Start Date 9.24.12
        Starting weight 285ish ( scale is acting funny so I don't trust it, but 285 is close )
        CW - 271 pounds
        First Goal - 255 by 2013
        Main Goal - To be healthy for my family... I have an awesome family.
        Other Goal - to get off some medications
        Final goal - to get to about 180 pounds by 2014
        NEW GOAL - When I can start a new journal called "Your dad is not so fat!"

        Your Dad is So Fat

        Comment


        • Originally posted by irishfoxy
          But if she really doesn't want to spend time with you, why does she call you to help her?............[spaces added for clarity about my points...................... And I don't think she's being dishonest with the "hour" so much as trying not to be an imposition at first,
          I have to disagree with Irishfoxy's take on this (if you are interested at all in competing points of view on a vent post, that is )

          She calls you to help her because she can get your help for free and at her convenience. If you remind her of your father, and she disliked him, that may be an added bonus, as she probably feels she deserves it or is 'scoring'.

          Sounds like she is delighted to be an imposition.

          Comment


          • Chili over spaghetti is a Cincinnati, OH thing. I wouldn't eat it over rice.
            Georgette

            Comment


            • So, let me ask a question here about young kids and cell phones... would you let them have one?

              Before I get into this, let me state right up front, my wife's workplace covers the first $100 of our cell bill every month. They will pay more than that if it can be shown that there was more than $100 of business related calls or data used. So, basically my wife has to keep track of what she does on the phone, but in any case, the company pays for at least $100 of the monthly bill. Right now our bill is usually about $190 a month for 4 lines, which includes 2 smart phones, and 2 basic phones.The 2 basic phones are coming off our plan this week, we think. One is my father in laws number, and one was my mom's number, which is on suspension status because we asked for it.

              Right now, I trust my kids 100% to do what I tell them when it comes to just about everything, but they are 11.... I don't think I will feel the same way in 2 years.

              OK, so they both want phones, which I think is not a bad idea, for safety reasons, if nothing else. But they want SMARTPHONES. And of course that means more money per month. We went to a Verizon store yesterday and even if I bought them basic phones, they still would need ( really want, not need ) a texting plan. So, the guy said that this would bring our bill to $220 a month.

              Not to brag, but I have such "currently" awesome kids, I feel like they have earned my trust, and are pretty worthy of having smartphones.... but then the issue becomes money.... Our bill would then be ~ $250 a month for a family share plan, minus the $100 my wife's company pays. This includes all things... data, text, phone...... blah blah blah. But the other "thing" is that I am pretty sure that as the get older, the less I will trust them..... I don't want them "sexting", chatting with 50 year old guys who pretend they are 14 year old girls.... hell it already REALLY bothers me that they have people who "follow them" on Instagram that they have no clue who these followers are.

              So, what do you think?

              And LOL, I'll be talking more primal M - F.... and more fluff on the weekends.

              BTW, they are both getting iPod minis for Christmas, so they can have apps on that, and have wi-fi to text and Facetime.
              Last edited by Primal Papa; 11-18-2012, 08:29 AM.
              Start Date 9.24.12
              Starting weight 285ish ( scale is acting funny so I don't trust it, but 285 is close )
              CW - 271 pounds
              First Goal - 255 by 2013
              Main Goal - To be healthy for my family... I have an awesome family.
              Other Goal - to get off some medications
              Final goal - to get to about 180 pounds by 2014
              NEW GOAL - When I can start a new journal called "Your dad is not so fat!"

              Your Dad is So Fat

              Comment


              • My daughters have cell phones. They have basic phones and we have an unlimited texting package with 700 min of talk. We have 5 phones and our bill is $220/month. I'm not a big talker on the phone(I work in a call center all day and by the time I get home, I don't want to be on the phone period end of story). My eldest, who is almost 14, wants a smartphone. I told her no smartphones until she has a job and can afford the extra charges. I trust my almost 11 yr old and almost 12 yr old better than I do my eldest child. Just depends on the kids IMO.
                Georgette

                Comment


                • Can't you get them a smartphone without the data package? I discovered that I hardly use the 3g data because in most places there is wifi and the smartphone can access that. Where there is no wifi I just use the phone function and the data that is stored locally on the smartphone.
                  An alternative (in the Netherlands) is to use a prepaid package for the data

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by paleodutch View Post
                    Can't you get them a smartphone without the data package? I discovered that I hardly use the 3g data because in most places there is wifi and the smartphone can access that. Where there is no wifi I just use the phone function and the data that is stored locally on the smartphone.
                    An alternative (in the Netherlands) is to use a prepaid package for the data
                    No, to have a smartphone, you have to have data. They run off data. No carrier in the US will allow you to get a smartphone and run it off wifi only. You can use wifi to save on data, but that's it.
                    Georgette

                    Comment


                    • I'm kind of an old fogey when it comes to cell phones. Part of it is that I didn't even get the most basic, emergency use only, phone until college, and I'll be farked if some little tweenager NEEDS a cell phone for Angry Birds and texting.
                      That said, if they're the kind of kids that are always doing extracurricular activities and need to be able to call for a ride when it's done, you might get them the most simplistic one you can get your hands on. Texting, minimal minutes, and that's it. When they hit HS, you might change it out to allow for minimal data, but no smartphone. If they decide they need a smartphone, they can get a part time job or "part time job" (cocurriculars and stuff that looks good on a college app) and prove themselves worthy.
                      That's my 2 cents. Then again, I have no kids yet, so take it as you will.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

                      Comment


                      • I agree with naiadknight. If they're going in many different directions and need to be able to contact you for a ride or to let you know that the volleyball practice is running late, then a non-smartphone might be a good idea. I don't even like the ability to text; if they need to contact you, they can call and talk real-time, or leave a voicemail.

                        My kids were adults before smartphones were invented. *I* didn't even have a cell phone when they were teenagers. You know what? We managed just fine, even in emergencies.

                        And I'm not sure it's entirely about whether you can trust them now, and not trust them when they're older. There are a lot of nasty people out there who take advantage of kids, no matter what age the kids are. Smartphones have built-in GPS and a halfway techy-intelligent stalker can use that to track down someone.

                        Your kids will probably think you're mean, but mine did, too (over other topics). Now that they're adults they understand good work ethics, appreciate what they have to work for themselves, and they thank me for having been a Mean Mom.

                        You might tell them that when they get older and demonstrate both actual NEED and responsibility, then MAYBE you'll consider getting them phones/smartphones. And conversely, phones can be taken away as punishment for infractions, AFTER they've proven they're responsible enough to have them.

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
                          Then again, I have no kids yet, so take it as you will.
                          The average kid with a phone that texts, has 3000 texts a month. Kids today would rather text than talk.... you have to trust me on that one. It's a fact. My kids don't even know the phone numbers of their friends, but they sure as hell know their text numbers. Personally, I HATE texting. I believe it is a curse to humanity, as it severely curtails the ability to communicate.... but w/o texting, kids today would be left out, almost like an outcast. I have to MAKE my kids call people.
                          Start Date 9.24.12
                          Starting weight 285ish ( scale is acting funny so I don't trust it, but 285 is close )
                          CW - 271 pounds
                          First Goal - 255 by 2013
                          Main Goal - To be healthy for my family... I have an awesome family.
                          Other Goal - to get off some medications
                          Final goal - to get to about 180 pounds by 2014
                          NEW GOAL - When I can start a new journal called "Your dad is not so fat!"

                          Your Dad is So Fat

                          Comment


                          • My personal opinion-- I think 11 is too young for cell phones. I don't see a good reason for it. I also don't think children need to have something just because they want it and everyone else seems to have it.

                            I have 3 kids. My son and I got a cell phone at the same time. He was 16 and had just got his driver's license. My daughters (twins) got his hand me down phone, to share, 2 years later. They were 14 and walking to/from school. My daughters got their own phones when they got their licenses, again at 16.

                            My son's first phone had text message privileges until he abused that privilege. After that texting wasn't an option for him until he got his own phone. My daughters got texting privileges at 16 and iphones almost 2 years ago. They were 21.

                            Comment


                            • Well, my choice really is not whether they should have a phone, to be honest. I do think them having a phone is a good idea.... the real question is whether they get a smartphone.

                              To an above poster.... No you can't get a smartphone w/o a data package.

                              BTW, I know I am different than most of you. I am a tech geek.....

                              22 years working in TV
                              1 year in radio
                              electronics sales in retail
                              A DJ since I was 14 years old
                              Managed an AV department for a convention center
                              My first computer was a Commodore VIC 20. I think it could display 8 or 16 colors, LOL. It used 5.25" floppy discs.
                              I have owned a VCR back when a VCR cost over $500.


                              I'm a tech geek, and have raised my kids with lots of tech.
                              Last edited by Primal Papa; 11-18-2012, 12:41 PM.
                              Start Date 9.24.12
                              Starting weight 285ish ( scale is acting funny so I don't trust it, but 285 is close )
                              CW - 271 pounds
                              First Goal - 255 by 2013
                              Main Goal - To be healthy for my family... I have an awesome family.
                              Other Goal - to get off some medications
                              Final goal - to get to about 180 pounds by 2014
                              NEW GOAL - When I can start a new journal called "Your dad is not so fat!"

                              Your Dad is So Fat

                              Comment


                              • Our 2 youngest share a cell phone and our oldest had one until she became an idiot so I make all 3 share one and may keep it that way. The younger 2 need the phone just because of their activities.
                                Georgette

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