For me, it started with my mother and sisters and has moved through work relationships and even my relationship with my husband. I think it started when I was 8 and my mom put me on a diet. Then when I was 11, she would start in with "you're fat. Men do not find fat women to be attractive. You want to attract a man, lose weight." I was 11. Why in the hell would I want to attract a man anyway? Then it became, "you're stupid, you won't amount to anything." Then when I was 19 and dropped out of college due to grades and being unhappy, I got "you're worthless. You will never be anything but worthless." When I met my husband, she told the both of us that I am not the type of woman a man should ever marry. She kept on with this throughout my adult life. The ironic part of this is that when I was 30 and finally dropping weight, she told me that she was proud of me. That was a hard pill to swallow. That you were only proud of me for losing fat? That pissed me off and I went off on her. I told her that I don't think that she ever loved me. I told her that a mother who truly her kids would never say ugly things. That turned into me becoming someone who would basically do anything to feel love and/or acceptance from anyone. I think my husband has picked up on this over the years.
No announcement yet.
"Your dad is so fat".... Primal Papa's Journal.