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If you haven't seen them, I got sent the 2013 Darwin awards!
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And Now, The Honorable Mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the
staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6.. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked
away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into
the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
They walk among us, they can reproduce.
Got home from work to fire alarms going off in the house..... power was out, the alarms sound when the battery is in use... Lovely... Popped out the battery in one, and since they are all connected, they all went silent... Ahhhh peace and quiet.....
Now I'm concerned. It's 24 degrees, we are on a well, which means no water, which means no toilet flushing. Yeah, there is water in the tank, and the expansion tank for the well has about 5 gallons in it so I could flush 2 or 3 times.... It also means no water for the chickens.... Great... No power also means no heat, since we have heat pumps for ac/heating.... it is 61 degrees in the house.... Greeeaaaaat! Now I start thinking about bursting water pipes if the power is out for a long time, and all of the other possibilities of going a long time without power..... So, I go out to let the birds out and feed them, and chip the ice out of the waterers (chickens love to eat ice/snow for some odd reason). I put the waterers out of the houses and in the sun to melt some of the ice. About the time I get back from that chore I hear the sound of a big truck out near the street... Its trash day, so it could be the trash truck but it was the power company! Yeah!!! The bucket truck backs up to the pole, and replaces the transformer, power comes back on, and the time set on the stove says 6:15.... apparently the power had been off several hours. Now that the power is back on, my concerns slip away, and I sit down to eat some dinner...
Dinner consisted of chuck steak and fried eggs.... Oh yea... I picked up 2 eggs in the chickens houses... they were frozen solid.....
Had some errands to run, so I go take care of them, get back and go to take some hot water out to the birds to melt their water, and the sun had melted most of it..... gotta love global warming!
Ordered some digestive enzymes earlier this week. They arrived and I will try them. I've had my gallbladder removed a couple of years ago, so I am wondering if they may be helpful. I will try them out for a month and see what gives... If they help, good deal. If not, not great loss. Just some dollars down the septic tank.....
Was supposed to get a run in. By the time my errands were done, it was too late. I really don't like running that late in the day, as the endorphins from the run would keep me awake... and I only get 4-6 hours of sleep a night during the week as it is... Which may be a part of why I can't lose any body fat..... Just another reason why I hate my job.... Guess I will give the run a go tomorrow, or today at this point....
Took down some of the Christmas decorations at work. The tree and lighted garland on the bookcase above my desk are going to stay.... all year... Gotta love a pink lighted tree, with a lime green Dr Seuss tree topper!