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Primal Primate's Journey to find his inner Grok

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  • Thanks for the welcome back. I am trying to get back into the swing of things and so far it seems to be working although the cravings are way worse than when I first went Primal. I'm finding that I need to go 100% Primal or not at all. When I cheat I backslide - it would appear I have little to no willpower. I've learned a lot about myself since starting this journey and perhaps the most shocking aspect of me that I have discovered, besides the no willpower thing, is that I am a stress eater. When I am stressed, as I have been lately with work and some aspects of life in general, I snack and never on the good stuff like veggies or fruit always the bad and the salty. This in turn leads me to want the convenience of quick food which we all know really means processed junk and before I know it I'm ass deep in the crap!

    I have also learned than I love the way I feel when I work out BUT I am my own worst enemy when it comes to getting my butt off the couch and working out. I have more than enough reasons - I call them reasons at the time but lets be honest they are excuses and nothing more - for why I can't work out. What I really need is to shut my mouth and get my ass in gear. With the warm weather coming I'm hoping this will be easier to do. In addition I have purchased a kettle bell so hopefully that will spur me into action.

    I have no doubt that the road is not going to be easy this time, I am now at point where I am at my all time heaviest and I marvel at the fact that I let this happen, but one foot in front of the other and maybe sooner than later I can be far enough down the Primal path so that I pass the point of no return... I like that idea. Now to make it a reality...

    Grok on!
    “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

    "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

    Comment


    • A quick check in:
      I made a promise to myself that I would check in at least once every two days so I am now trying to keep it.

      Yesterday was a good day both in general and primally speaking. I stayed the course and enjoyed three primal meals with a little bit of almonds and cheese to round out the day. Supper was especially good - BBQ'd steak (medium rare) with a large homemade salad - caesar dressing but surprisingly the only part of the homemade dressing that was borderline not primal was the milk it called for.

      In addition to the primal eating I also got on the stationary bike and went for a 'ride'. I would have much preferred to jump on my real bike but the snow is preventing that from happening for a few more months. The net result - I had the best sleep I have had in a long time and woke refreshed and ready for today.

      Breakfast today consisted of 2 eggs cooked omelet style with two pieces of bacon, one chopped green onion, and a handful of chopped cilantro added to it. It was delicious! Midmorning I was feeling a little peckish but a small cup of greek yogurt and a handful of almonds have seen me through. Lunch will consist of a piece of pork loin (about the size of a deck of cards) with a large spring herb mix organic salad - olive oil and balsamic vinegar added as a dressing.

      This evening I intend to get acquainted with the 20 lbs kettle bell I purchased two days ago...

      Damn it's good to be back!
      Grok On!
      “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

      "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

      Comment


      • Feeling great - walked a total of 38km over the past three days while geocaching and managing to more or less eat healthy. Some bread products have worked their way into my meals (mostly the occasional flour tortilla) but for the most part I am primal again and loving it. As the weather gets better I am outside more and have more energy and want to get looking and feeling better. Last night my fiancee and I went out for supper - a much needed "date night" to get away from the trials and tribulations that come from every day life. We went to Milestones where I enjoyed a medium rare steak and double helping of veggies. Tonight we are having primal grilled chicken with fresh cucumbers and some avocado. The real test will be Easter. I am planning on having some non-primal food but not to go overboard as I have in the past.

        I have slowly started introducing daily workouts back into my routine - the last three days I have spent the better part of the day out walking for long distances - between 4 and 6 hours of walking through neighborhoods and ravines on paved paths and dirt trails. Today I did a kettle ball workout and I am feeling it in my arms as I type this.

        I am no where near ready to step back on the scale - I know just from looking at myself that I have put a lot of the weight back on in my detour off the primal path and although I am still struggling with negative self talk over the fact that I put weight back on I am also starting to own the issue and identify the problems that are leading me to keep losing the path. I have discovered I am an emotional eater - it seems weird to be that as it is not what I would traditionally think of as a "guy thing" but it is true. Some online research indicates it not as uncommon as I might think. For me the trigger seems to be family issue related. Since starting this journey my family has more or less imploded. My parent's are heading towards what seems to be a very ugly divorce and even though all of their children are adults it is having its effect on us. For me that means reaching for crappy food whenever I get stressed.
        I also noticed that when work gets stressful (big projects coming due, etc.) and I have to put in the overtime I tend to want chips and fast food rather than good healthy food because the chips and takeout are faster and require no prep time. These in turn are not filling and I tend to eat more of them and spiraling down we go! This overeating of crappy food leads to weight gain which leads to negative self talk which then leads to more crappy food - now that I recognize the issues I have with food and more importantly the triggers for my issues I seem to be much more able to stay the course.

        The next big thing is to rid my life of the triggers or find a way to reduce the impact from them and control my stress. This seems to be the key for me. I am hopeful that within the month I will start to see positive results from my new found primal-ness.

        Grok on and happy Easter!
        Last edited by Primal Primate; 03-28-2013, 12:56 PM.
        “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

        "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

        Comment


        • Not feeling so great today - skipped breakfast this morning and then had a banana part way through the morning. Sushi for lunch and nothing since then. My head is killing me and I feel like an illness is coming on - I think it is in part due to the lack of food I have eaten today and partly due to the fact that I am trying to go 100% primal again. I'm feeling the need to feed and being that I won't be home for some time yet that usually means grabbing something on the go and in our world today that usually means a. carbs, b. processed crap or worse yet both! I guess the only positive from it is that I am not craving junk or wheat/grains what I really want right now is a nice medium rare steak with bacon wrapped scallops and a big salad. I'll have to see what I can find to curb this hunger. I also need to focus on drinking more water as I have hardly had anything today. Again not feeling 100% and that seems to have affected all aspects of my primal self. I was looking forward to getting in a workout but I am drained and do not have the energy... so I am listening to my body and going to eat something and go to bed. Hopefully tomorrow I will be able to Grok out.
          “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

          "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

          Comment


          • Taking stock...

            I've decided to look back on my own journal and see what I have written about and also where I am given my starting point. After doing so I am for two minds when it comes to this journey. The first is simply that when I look just at the start point and the end point I see Primal as being nothing more than another did not work diet. I know there are people out there that will read that last statement (assuming there are many people reading this at all) and they will get pissy with my out right statement. But hear me out before you pick up the torches and pitchforks and try to run me out of town. At this point 10 months since the start of my journey I am heavier than I was at the beginning, I've had highs and lows throughout the journey including reaching a weight that was the lowest I have have been in many years, but much like a lot of diets I have found that realistically this is an incredibly hard diet to stick with unless I want to eat at home all the time and take large amounts of food with me when I go out. I find that cheat days really mean falling off the wagon and that maybe this is not the way I want to live.

            On the other hand...

            Maybe there is nothing wrong with this lifestyle and the issues are all rooted deeply and firmly in me. Throughout the journey thus far I have discovered a lot about myself, I am an emotional eater, I am choosing to be overweight because I am choosing to eat the garbage SAD diet of processed shit just because it is fast and easy, I can lose the weight when I stick to the basics of the Primal plan and who knew I actually like garden fresh tomatoes and salads of all kinds!

            I think the conclusion I have come to is that if I treat Primal as a diet only (and to be honest this is mostly how I have treated it although it was not intentional) I am destine to fail as I have been. I will continue to yo-yo and grow more frustrated with each increasing pound and belt hole, but if I look at Primal as a way of life then I will see the results - over time not immediately which sucks because I'm a bit of an all or nothing, I want it now kind of guy when it comes to fitness. I know Primal as a lifestyle is going to be very difficult for me as it means rewiring every aspect of my world - the big question is can I do it? My answer right now - I don't know.

            I really feel as if I am floundering in this world of caves and Grok - I think the next few posts will be focusing on identifying the things in my world that make me fall off the primal wagon and trying to find solid footing to continue this journey or in the absence of that finding that footing finding a path that I can follow.

            I don't know is it normal to struggle with this stuff?
            Last edited by Primal Primate; 04-04-2013, 06:43 AM.
            “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

            "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

            Comment


            • I think, PP, that you have it right. You can not think of primal as a diet but as a lifestyle. Change can be hard but is always happens. I have been puttering with primal for a couple of months and it is hard. It is easy to fall off the wagon, our society lends itself to making that easy for us. I have found that if I take the time, be it 5 minutes in the morning or a whole afternoon to prepare for a few coming days, it is so much easier to stay primal. I hard boil eggs, I braise (crockpot, pressure cooker, roast in oven) a large roast (pork, beef, turkey), make sure I have a lot of spinach, veggies available. I don't have bread or anything in a box in the house and if I have to stop to grab a bite to eat...I will run in a gas station or convenience store for an apple or banana or a bag of jerky. I can also say with a certainty that there has never been any diet, when I stuck to it for more than a week, that I felt as good as I feel when I eat primally. So I take that as I need to change something, be it a painfully slow process, and work toward the goal of what I need to do to feel good. I can also say that my scale hasn't moved as much as I like...but my whole body configuration has changed...no one believes I have only lost 7 pounds they believe I have lost 20! I haven't even incorporated much fun and exercise into it yet as the weather has sucked.

              So, make up your mind as to what makes you feel good. Find 1 step to get you there and take it! Good luck, I will be watching!

              Comment


              • Thanks PattiSails!
                “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

                "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

                Comment


                • Just a quick stop and post:

                  I decided to buy a food saver this weekend to help keep the meat in our freezer from getting freezer burn. The meal plan for the week is done, grocery list made, lunch for tomorrow put together and after tomorrow morning the new workout plan will be in place... now off to bed to try and get 8 good hours of shut eye before work tomorrow. These are the first steps back down the path of primal for me.
                  I'll be keeping it all pretty basic along with the blog - more for me than for you (sorry about that but hopefully it will still be worth reading)
                  Grok on!
                  “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

                  "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Primal Primate View Post
                    Just a quick stop and post:

                    I decided to buy a food saver this weekend to help keep the meat in our freezer from getting freezer burn. The meal plan for the week is done, grocery list made, lunch for tomorrow put together and after tomorrow morning the new workout plan will be in place... now off to bed to try and get 8 good hours of shut eye before work tomorrow. These are the first steps back down the path of primal for me.
                    I'll be keeping it all pretty basic along with the blog - more for me than for you (sorry about that but hopefully it will still be worth reading)
                    Grok on!
                    That vacuum sealer works for LOTS of things... I do veggies in it as well. I sealed all of the broccoli and cauliflower from the garden last year, as well as pea pods.
                    AND most of those vacuum sealer bags can be boiled.... so you can put butter and seasonings in the bag before you vacuum them and seal them and cook them, open the bag and viola a cooked side dish!

                    Comment


                    • Thanks ssn679doc! I will keep that in mind! I love the food saver - my folks have one and we make use of it after hunting and fishing trips too. I want to research the bags a little more before boiling them - want to make sure nothing harmful could leach out of the plastic into the food. Have you done any marinating of meat before sealing it?
                      “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

                      "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

                      Comment


                      • I gave a lot of thought this weekend to the lifestyle changes I want to and need to make and also how I plan to go about these changes. I don't have all the answers and I am sure I will be looking to the rest of the cave dwellers in the forum for support and advice but I think I have made some leaps in the right direction.

                        My biggest obstacle as far as I can see is stress. I work a stressful job, and I live a modern life, which means I live a stress filled life, made all the more stressful due to the planning of and paying for my upcoming marriage, desire to own a house and all the other money related matters that sit on our daily plates.

                        This weekend I realized that stress pretty much rules my life and that has to change. I find when I am stressed or when I am board I tend to eat... a lot. With boredom it's a case of snacking constantly, with stress its more a case of emotional eating - binging on crap that is not good for me and then feeling even more like crap afterwards. I know this is no earth shattering realization and if I would have just opened my eyes earlier I could have saved myself a few hundred pounds but better late than never with the realizations I guess. The trick is to break this habit.

                        I firmly believe it is a habit and if that is the case it can be broken...its just going to take a bit of work. How do I get rid of the urge to bing eat when I am stressed and instead replace it with the desire to work out in any form? This is the question I am currently working to solve. To further complicate it is the fact that I dislike working out immensely! I want the body and the health but I just am not motivated to do the work - why because I find at the end of the day I am exhausted from the stress of teaching. In an attempt to overcome this I am focusing on only doing workouts I enjoy right now - that means some kettle ball and a lot of walking/riding of the bike. I am hoping that by enjoying the physical workouts I do right now I can lay the foundation for real workouts later.

                        The other skill I need to work on is time management. I need to streamline by life to carve out sometime for me and mine. All to often as a teacher we put ourselves last and I need to stop doing that and start to put myself first once in a while. To this end I have planned out my meals for the week and tonight will be getting the groceries I need for those meals. I'm only buying what I need and nothing else - no "cheat foods" as I don't want the temptation in the house. Also tonight I will be creating the workout schedule and plan to use it. I'll post copies of both here tomorrow and welcome the feedback anyone cares to share on both.

                        Goals this week: 1. Manage the stress in a healthy way - no binging! 2. Follow the schedules - stay primal.

                        Grok on!
                        “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

                        "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

                        Comment


                        • Looking through blogs and books to read on Primal and paleo lifestyle changes I came across a book titled Make Shift Happen by Dean Dwyer - has anyone read this book? Is it worth looking at or not. It seems, from the reviews, that this is a who body, mind and soul kinda thing. Just curious what any cave dwellers who read it think.
                          “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

                          "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

                          Comment


                          • I managed to find a copy of Make Shift Happen and almost from the first sentence found I connected with the author's work. Much of what he describes is how I have felt and continue to feel about myself and my weight. At the moment I am just reading through the book thinking about what the author has to say and weighing it against other research I have done and opinions I have read or heard. I plan to read through the book a second time after I am done and pull out the information that resonates with me.

                            So far the big things I have taken away from the book are as follows:
                            1. Creating change in yourself is nothing other than teaching yourself new behaviors. Think big but act small - don't overwhelm yourself.
                            2. Don't put off that change - commit to starting today.
                            3. Simplicity is sustainable - don't make your lifestyle change any more complicated than it needs to be. (KISS theory - Keep it simple, stupid)
                            4. Track what you eat - make this a part of our daily routine - log everything that you eat and be brutally honest about it. (Anyone know a good and easy to use online tracker. I gave paleo-tracker a try and was not a huge fan - I found many of the foods I eat were not in the database and I ended up spending way too much time adding foods to the list)

                            But perhaps the biggest head slapping moment (so far) for me came when the author Dean Dwyer put a name to the thing I have been struggling with the most - he calls it "Resistance" As he puts it - this is the voice inside our head - the inner heckler that just won't shut up. It's the monster that encourages you to skip a workout because you've earned it, the thing that pushes you to get the chocolate bar at the corner store or convinces you that what you are doing is hopeless. It's the demon I have struggled against in every failed attempt to lose weight.

                            Strangely enough its the one thing I never really thought all that much about before today - How to positively keep focused and ignore the inner critic and accept when I have had a setback and deal with it. It's a lot to think about and to incorporate so I'll go slow and keep it simple. The book has forced me to ask a lot of questions about myself and my path to the caves. Now to set out on the journey to find the answers. Who knew this primal thing would lead to a total reinvention of this primate!?!

                            Grok on fellow cave dwellers!
                            “There are only two options regarding commitment, You’re either in or your out. There’s no such thing as life in between.” – Anonymous

                            "Das Beste oder nichts" - Gottlieb Wilhelm Daimler

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Primal Primate View Post
                              Thanks ssn679doc! I will keep that in mind! I love the food saver - my folks have one and we make use of it after hunting and fishing trips too. I want to research the bags a little more before boiling them - want to make sure nothing harmful could leach out of the plastic into the food. Have you done any marinating of meat before sealing it?
                              Yes... you can put a marinade in the bag and vacuum seal it. It is supposed to help the marinade be "absorbed" in to the meat and make it juicier...

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Primal Primate View Post
                                Who knew this primal thing would lead to a total reinvention of this primate!?!

                                Grok on fellow cave dwellers!
                                Yes, who knew? But it really is transformational. Good luck with your efforts to conquer stress and to change your lifestyle, every little counts and one day you will look back and see how far you've come. Best wishes for your wedding and your future too.
                                Annie Ups the Ante
                                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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