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Georgette Redux: A new primal journal

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  • Originally posted by honeybuns View Post
    I am the same way. It is possible to have a happy, sex free marriage. We are doing it. I haven't had sex in years.
    ^This.

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    • I don't want a sexless marriage, but at the way things stand, I would almost prefer that then what we have now. It sometimes feel that a part of me is gone which is sad at times.

      Today is our 16th anniversary. Tomorrow night, we are going out to The Funny Bone for dinner and see comedian Chad Daniels. We've never been, so are excited to go. I'm thinking of getting a mani/pedi after work tonight.

      I've got something that I need some advise on. One of my children told me she's smoked marijuana last Friday. She always told me she wouldn't because she didn't see the point of it and just a bunch of other things. I'm now almost wishing she hadn't of told me this. I actually wish I didn't have such an open relationship with my kids. I know that if I tell her she can't see her friends, it will just make things worse. Idk what to do in this situation. I was a good kid who didn't do anything like this until I was 18. I don't want to judge her, but I don't like the feeling I'm getting in my gut either.
      Georgette

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      • But did she like the pot or did she tell you because she has now tried it and can't stand it and will never do it again?
        Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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        • I think she liked it. That's the impression I got. The one thing that I am grateful for is that she was with a bunch of friends that she trusted. If she was 18, I would handle it a lot differently than I am with her being 14. I know if I told her not to be friends with them, she'd rebel. That's what I did when my mom said that to me.
          Georgette

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          • I'm not a parent, so take this with a dump of salt. I feel like if I felt open enough with my mom to tell her something like that, I'm either a) sharing because I love her or b) want guidance. I think I would tell my daughter that I'm glad she did this with people she trusts, in a safe environment etc. Emphasize the things that you feel she did right and thank her for telling me. I think I would tell her that it makes me uncomfortable that she's doing it, especially since she seemed so adverse to it before, but it's her decision.
            Depression Lies

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            • NW, that's exactly what I told her. It was such a freak out moment for me. I wanted to scream and cry. I'm just hoping that she doesn't try anything harder than that. I guess that's all you can do as a parent, hope for the best and expect the worst.
              Georgette

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              • Originally posted by geostump View Post
                NW, that's exactly what I told her. It was such a freak out moment for me. I wanted to scream and cry. I'm just hoping that she doesn't try anything harder than that. I guess that's all you can do as a parent, hope for the best and expect the worst.
                Sounds about right to me. I think my biggest fear would be leaving my child feeling that they could not speak to me about things like that. I don't want to know, but I think having them do things in secret is worse than dealing with my own discomfort. My parents told me I could tell them things, but never *showed* me I could so I kept everything secret (part of my depression too, I just couldn't do anything else). I never felt like they would support me.
                Depression Lies

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                • I know I've told her, but I think I've showed her that she could tell me. Part of me is thinking ignorance is bliss and the other part is like I'm grateful she told me. One of her friends didn't want her to tell me. I drive this friend to school and I ended up telling her to just keep an eye on C and to let me know if she ever gets out of control or does something more than pot. I told her friend that I wasn't mad at her and that I won't tell her parents. She has to be the one to do that.
                  Georgette

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                  • My mom and I were never that close to where I wanted to tell her anything. When she started going on and on asking me if my 30 something sister was "smoking that marihuana", I just knew I couldn't tell her.
                    Georgette

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                    • I've decided I need a mani/pedi so I am getting one after work. It needs done badly.
                      Georgette

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                      • Originally posted by geostump View Post
                        I've decided I need a mani/pedi so I am getting one after work. It needs done badly.
                        nice. I hope it is relaxing for ya.

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                        • Yesterday was a blast. We went to a comedy club and saw some funny ass comics. Literally laughed until we cried and we were hoarse. Had fun at our friends bar afterward. The bar owner introduced us to raspberry Long Island iced teas and that's my new drink. For hit on by another man in front of Clint and he didn't say a thing. I really don't think Clint looked at it as another man hitting on me, but all of our friends who were there noticed it. I'm exhausted, been up since before 7 am and probably going to bed shortly.
                          Georgette

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                          • Glad that you had a great anniversary night. I think you handled the pot issue well. Good Job!
                            Primal since 9/24/2010
                            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                            MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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                            • Still exhausted. Sort of had a restless night. Tonight, I'm probably going to be coloring my hair. A friend of mine recommended ordering from a site called sealing.com and her loons amazing. You'd think she's spent a ton of money at a salon. I'm looking to go back to my roots of being a dark blonde. They're sending me a color fill plus a semi perm color and the I can use a perm color in 3 weeks when the color fades. I'm just tired of the lighter blonde and don't want to deal with the up keep on a lighter blonde. I may add highlights eventually.
                              Georgette

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                              • I'm not sure how I would handle a pot issue with my kids. I know I tried it right into high school (so around age 15) and my friend told her mom we did it and I got into major ass trouble. My mom didn't forbid me from seeing those friends again b/c like you, she feared rebellion, but my pot smoking DID lead to trying other things.

                                While she may be able to trust her friends, she absolutely CAN NOT trust the dealer. Dealers lace things. I had pot laced with coke once. BAD experience! Dealers don't stop at coke either... they will dump other stuff on pot as well - it builds their business.

                                AND at the same time, if something were to happen, would her friends really truly help her or would they run scared to avoid getting into trouble by their parents or the authorities?

                                I think I'd be more scared of what could happen if it were my kid than anything else. I'd probably monitor their comings and goings more frequently and turn into "paranoid mom". You're more level headed than me. But then again, you've read my journal and know how I feel about pot.

                                But, that being said, 14 does seem kind of young for someone to pick up a habit like that. It might not be CHEMICALLY addictive, but the effects of euphoria CAN become addictive - dopamine release and whatnot. Just proceed with extreme caution and remind her of what happens if she's arrested for it, what the risks are based on dirty dealers, and all that stuff. Keep the lines of communication open and while you're at it, WARN WARN WARN about the use of K2, that synthetic pot. THAT stuff is deadly.

                                Just continue to be a good mom and I'm sure things will work out fine.
                                Primal since March 5, 2012
                                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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