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Edith: one bite at a time

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  • #16
    I don't know how long it's been hot in Rochester, NY. Since last time I posted? An eternity of eating cold cream cheese and drinking cold coconut milk. That part was great. Weather not so much. Yesterday was the worst. However, yesterday was when I discovered that Primal is working in some unexpected ways.

    Yesterday after work, when it was freakishly very hot (like 92 degrees F.) and windy, I spent half an hour outside in my yard hacking into manageable pieces a part of a maple tree that the wind knocked over into the neighbors' driveway. (Fortunately nobody's car was under it or even close to it.)

    Strangely, it was not a taxing experience. It was rather neat.

    I was well-hydrated, and though I generated plenty of sweat, the wind that blew all day yesterday evaporated it so that I didn't feel icky; I was in the shade; I had the right tools for the job, and I didn't eff up myself or anything else; after it was all over, I wasn't even sore from the effort.

    I have such a long way to go, and I don't even know where I am going.

    But hey! I sawed a tree! I am really impressed with myself.



    • #17
      So basically, the guy sleeps five and a half hours a day. Maybe spacing it out as he does makes it effective. But to feel my best, I need nine per day, rarely get that.

      I used to take a long nap after work, but that was before being diagnosed with sleep apnea. I can't just flop down for a refreshing nap these days. I have to make sure my Darth Vader rig is clean, that my CPAP machine has water in the humidifier. Naps are not a pleasure any more and not that useful.

      I have a sleep mask which has been very helpful. I am looking into light-blocking curtains. It also is easier to sleep when it is not so hot out.

      I am also looking into ergonomic pillows. I have been sleeping on the floor for quite a few months now, and it's been good for most of my body, but my head and neck are still trying to find repose.

      I am also in the process of stripping my bedroom of all but the most essential elements so that consciously and subconsciously I know it is for sleeping only.

      Who knew sleep could be as complicated as eating Korean hot pot? (Try figuring out how to eat a whole giant shrimp plus all the other stuff--so worth it but a bit tricky.)

      Originally posted by Siobhan View Post
      They did have an advantage in sleeping, not having electric lights. Now I wouldn't give up electricity for anything, but it is NOT an aid to sleep. It is hard when one has to follow a schedule imposed by civilization, but it can be done. For myself, an ultra dark room is key - no little green or red lights from clocks or other electric devices. In my new home I use a mask because it can be very bright here. Can you sleep when you come home from work? I read a post here, someone sleeps for about 90 minutes after coming home from work, then is up until 2 AM, sleeps til 6 AM. So he has a 4-hour sleep period and a 90-minute sleep period every 24 hours. Lots of ways to play with this.


      • #18
        Working out the sleep problems is so complicated. I've come a long way but still it's a learning process. Good on you for sawing the tree!
        My Primal Journal:

        "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold


        • #19
          End of a long, long, long week. Long, long, long. New interim director seems like a good egg. I am hopeful her presence might mark the arrival of a miracle or two in the near future. The sudden departure last week of the old director says somebody is taking seriously the idea that where I work should, mmm, work right. For now, however, everyone is still on overload.

          It's been ten days since I hunkered down and started some serious eating. A moderate amount of meat, a moderate amount of eggs, a tiny bit of milk, a moderate amount of cheese, lots of non-starchy veggies, lots of fat, and a tiny bit of fruit. No bread, no donuts, no candy, no coffee, no diet soda.

          I started weighing 233 if memory serves. I now weigh 234. However, I have noticed that my fat thighs are almost not touching.


          This probably goes in either the who cares or TMI category, but a few years ago during the summer, I had to walk a fair distance in stinking hot weather, and by the time I got home, the insides of my legs were raw from chafing together. Sound eeewww? It was horrible, wretched.

          This is not where I am now. Thigh-wise, I am in a much better situation.

          I still look distinctly fat. My posture is still distinctly bad. I still look like crap. Thanks to work, I've aged ten years in the past two. I'm still tired all the time, and yet I had enough energy a couple of days ago to saw and trim and haul to another location the pieces of a maple tree that fell over in a windstorm.

          One thing that has driven me a little nuts is having an almost constant craving for fat. I'm not jonesing for cream cheese the way I was at the start of this week, but whatever I have in mind for a meal or snack, I also want butter, mayo, hamburger grease, schmaltz, lard, bacon fat . . . My ideal proportions would be one part food to two parts fat, but I haven't achieved that.

          For supper tonight, I sauteed onion and green peppers and scrambled them up with five eggs and sprinkled them with red pepper flakes and garlic powder. Then I dolloped on mayo. Then I put on butter. I feel full now, and the idea of fat is a little gaggy, but it's still center stage in my mind.

          Well, I am really tired. It's onlly eight-ish, but I think I'll brush my teeth and go to bed with my sleep mask. Thank you, Lord, that Friday finally came . . .

          Last edited by entwyf; 07-20-2012, 05:07 PM.


          • #20
            Saturday's brain

            Wow. Saturday has been interesting so far. Normally, after a long work week, Saturday is the day I wander around in a semi-vegetative state, trying to find energy to clean dishes and vacuum and generally do something about the mess I created during the week (because I was too tired to do anything after work). It's normally the day I debate and debate about whether I really need to go grocery shopping because I'd rather just lie down, sit, or otherwise not move.

            This morning I woke at three-thirty a.m. I've been up since then. It's now almost eleven a.m. I've worked on rearranging a bedroom, moving two litterboxes from a more to a less exposed area, putting a border around a baby afghan I'm making for friends, shopped for cat litter, curtains, and batteries. I'm tired, but I'm dressed and mentally alert. I'll probably go take a nap in an hour or so and do another round of shopping after that.

            I'm thinking it has something to do with my supper last night: five eggs scrambled with veggies and loaded with mayo and butter.

            Good fat and good protein are good for the brain, right? A lot of times over the past two years, my brain has been battered into insensibility by work at the same time it's been malnourished. But now, it seems the brain is on the move.

            It would be nice to write a Primal journal about how I've gone Primal and all of a sudden I weigh fifteen pounds less, have shiny hair and flawless skin, am looking into buying a whole new wardrobe two sizes smaller, and have learned how to balance a Volkswagen on my nose.

            But the fact that I am sitting here, typing, relatively alert, and not in tears after another stressful week at work . . . wow. Some of that has to do with changes in circumstances at work, but some of it definitely has to do with internal changes as well.

            Right now, a functioning brain is bigger for me than almost anything else.



            • #21
              The brain needs fat absolutely! I think that even the anti-fat people will admit that. I have no doubt the improved diet is responsible for a better mental state. Good for you!

              Work stress can be a real killer. That's one reason I moved to Maine! I worked at a series of hospitals in the Boston area that were sucking away my soul. Every kind of bad thing you can imagine went on there - sexual harrassment, bullying, illegal work hours. Even though I still complain about my job here, it is a country club compared to where I used to work. So, my point is that everything can get better, and I hope your work situation improves, AND that being primal will help you in decision making and other things too.
              My Primal Journal:

              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold


              • #22
                Welcome! I just read your journal - so glad you are going all out on this journey now! And delighted for you that there is mental acuity and physical energy despite the trying work and all the other challenges that are coming your way! Way to go! It really does feel so good to do something like cut up a tree especially when you know you would not have been able to before. Sounds like your body is trying to make up for lost time on the fat!! Enjoy, and remember to listen to your body so that when it is ready for other healthy yummy things you are ready to change gears and provide them!
                Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                Primal low: 186 lbs
                Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                Goal weight: 140 lbs

                "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."


                • #23
                  focal point.jpg

                  A good-ish weekend in Rchester, NY. Not too hot Saturday. However, yesterday around one, oh, yuck.

                  After church, where I longed for an old-fashioned funeral parlor fan, a friend and her son and I went to Wendy's and sat in the AC and watched the water sprinkler at work in the flower bed at the front of the store. I had their chicken berry whatever salad. Good stuff.

                  The nicest part of the afternoon was spent on the Lake Ontario beach at Durand Eastman Park. I did not go out in the water, I stayed on the shore and minded a purse, shoes, an iPod, and a chihuahua-basenji named Precious.

                  It was two hours or so of digging my toes in the sand while I gazed out to the horizon and occasionally reeled in Precious from investigating other, larger dogs. Very peaceful.

                  As we prepared to leave the beach, it started sprinkling, stopped, and started sprinkling again. Fifteen minutes at the most.

                  At home, I had enough energy left to set up a "focal point" in the upstairs hallway. I moved the phone out of my bedroom and put decorative boxes to hold tchotchkes so I don't have a lot of crap floating around the room. The goal is to make my sleeping area as distraction-free as possible and keep mess to a minimum. We'll see how that works.

                  I felt very tired yet mentally very focused. I had a bit of trouble sleeping, but for a delightful reason. At two a.m., lightning flashes, thunder, and the sound of serious rain. Yay! After a thunder clap really shook things up (it sounded as if it let loose right over my house) I got up briefly and closed my window and was delighted to do so.

                  The key thing here is that I was not in a work-induced vegetative state all weekend. It was lovely. For the first time in a long time, I was able to plan and carry out activities instead of just sitting and wishing I could.

                  Last edited by entwyf; 07-23-2012, 06:33 PM.


                  • #24
                    Love your journal, Edith.


                    • #25
                      That is just great and I love your new focal point. I am trying to do the same thing in my new home, wish me luck! And how great that you are noticing benefits of primal. And really, really good benefits at that.
                      My Primal Journal:

                      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold


                      • #26
                        Not sure how to deal with this issue in Primal fashion:

                        I have had a "bite guard" for teeth clenching for about a week.

                        395 US dollars, 402.298 Canadian dollars, 384.246 Australian dollars, 254.724 British pounds, 325.208 Euros, 453,874.84 South Korean won for a piece of plastic.

                        This past weekend, while I had a relatively good amount of physical energy to clean and reorganize at home, I had less mental energy. In the process of hauling things around, I misplaced my bite guard and have not yet found it. A transparent piece of plastic smaller than my hand in a house in upheaval. And I am terribly right-brained, dyslexic, distracted and tired.

                        What is the holistic, playful approach to losing the equivalent of a mortgage payment?

                        Trying to keep in mind "don't sweat the small stuff; it's all small stuff." Grrr.



                        • #27
                          You'll find it. It has to be somewhere. I wish I was there; I am good at finding things.
                          My Primal Journal:

                          "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold


                          • #28
                            Wow. Something's changing for sure. Today after work, I sprinted across the street from the side with my bank to the side with the Subway store. I was going there to get an avocado and something sub made as a salad. (Spinach, cucumber, green pepper, black olives, lovely blob of avocado puree and mayo. In the middle of the cross walk, with traffic starting to move at the other end of the block, I put my right foot down wrong and almost landed on my face.

                            I did something similar at the end of March. After a day of sitting at my desk, with legs and hips stiff as a board, I tripped walking home from the grocery store; I cracked my skull on the sidewalk and got a big goose egg and a black eye. Two days later, I broke a tooth on a piece of flaked coconut in some trail mix and had to get a crown. I messed the tooth up somehow in my fall. I also had a bit of a sprained ankle as well.

                            Today, before I could stop imagining my face hitting the asphalt, I caught myself, righted myself, and kept going. I could feel a lot of strain in the muscles of my lower back, but I was otherwise fine.

                            I have been doing nothing, really, aside from trying to do Esther Gokhale's glide-walking. Some days I glide, some days I don't. And I have been re-learning what feet long encased in bad shoes seem to have forgotten. Walking and running involve feet really engaging with the ground. "Running" in heels or clogs or whatever has little to do with feet and seems to be all about moving the knees, but not much.

                            So staying upright today, after a disaster in March was just amazing.



                            • #29
                              Thanks for the vote of confidence. If my father, a cost-conscious Scotch-Irish sort, were alive, I'd be walking around dead from the lecture on how could I lose my bite guard; it's the same as losing three hundred and ninety five dollars. Who in their right mnd would fail to keep track of that kind of money?

                              If I don't find it, I'm going to have to turn in my Scotch-Irish credentials. Meanwhile, duh, exercise to sort out all the tense muscles in my head, jaw, and neck.


                              Originally posted by Siobhan View Post
                              You'll find it. It has to be somewhere. I wish I was there; I am good at finding things.


                              • #30
                                If any of your cats are like mine it may very well be squirrelled away under the bed... duly chewed lol. Good luck finding it though, the cost of plastic like that, even fitted, is just silly. Grok would use flat bits of a soft wood that doesn't splinter maybe? haha! Sorry, probably not practical advice. Best of luck to find it and hope your muscles feel better, I always try to sit under a hot shower and do stretches to loosen mine up.