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  • #46
    Crabbcakes, I have been very interested in attending our local Unitarian church, but I'm nervous, because my husband has to work and can't go with me! Maybe I'll get brave next weekend and check it out

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Rasputina View Post
      Crabbcakes, I have been very interested in attending our local Unitarian church, but I'm nervous, because my husband has to work and can't go with me! Maybe I'll get brave next weekend and check it out
      I went ahead of my family to check it out. I am a little psycho about investigating things before I bring my kids along anywhere, so I was there a number of times before I felt comfortable enough to bring the progeny. They now love it.

      I will give you this tip - because the churches each have their individual character, you might want to check the UUA: Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations website for the locations of all the UU churches in your area and check all of them out. There is some autonomy involved, so one church may be really, really gay-rights, and another might have chosen not to complete a "Welcoming Congregation" program (as the title of the program is called where openly gay couples/individuals are openly courted for inclusion in a church community), for example. In this area there is an ultra-modern LEEDS-certified building, one on the Register of Historic Places, one located in Kent OH (of Kent State University fame), one that is still in formation in somebody's house, one as a strip mall storefront church... you get the idea.

      The Reverend at ours is a heterosexual married man. The Rev at one in Pittsburgh is openly gay, living with his long-term partner. Ours, until recently, had interim reverends until my UU hired the one we have now. Also, our Rev is a practicing Buddhist as well as an UU Reverend.

      Definitely a motley crew, so if you don't like the mood at one location, do try the others. Let me know how it goes!
      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

      Comment


      • #48
        Thanks, Crabby, I've checked this church out, and they have a new interim pastor. They have recently had a booth at our local gay-pride parade (even though they are in an affluent, conservative suburb). They have classes in Buddism on Wednesdays, and as my husband and I have studied Buddism and the link to Gnostic Christian teachings extensively, I feel like this place may be worth checking out. I'm such so socially awkward, and I hate going to new places, where I don't know the protocol. For instance, I despise having to go up and take the host/communion, etc. It seems so... I don't know... I don't hold hands at church or at prayer either! My husband thinks I'm weird for that, but as a child of a rabid Evangelical/Mega-church Southern Baptist mother, I tend to equate all of that "praise-hands" showmanship with evil I'll be brave and go next weekend, then tell you about it!

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        • #49
          Originally posted by Rasputina View Post
          I'm such so socially awkward, and I hate going to new places, where I don't know the protocol.
          I believe you, but I am having a hard time imagining you as socially awkward. You come across on the posts as more of a take-charge, I-know-myself kind of gal.

          I'm looking forward to hearing about it!

          FWIW, I am having a harder time with the gay stuff at my UU. It isn't THE topic of each Sunday, but there is a monthly cafe meeting of friends/family of the LGBTQ crowd, and the church flies the rainbow flag, etc. Our rev is on the record stating he would do same-sex unions if asked. I have a good childhood friend who came out of the closet - we are still the same friends as before, but with my LDS background I honestly still feel, waaaaay deep down inside, that this "isn't the way things should be" (my words), although I have no hate or angst toward anyone who is.

          I had to laugh the other day - where I get my hair done, my salon guy is gay. I think all the others working there are, as well. Anyway, as I was making the next appointment, the desk guy and I got to talking about Aveda makeup, and then HE starts comparing/contrasting what I was looking at with the demands of drag makeup... that was a new one on me!

          Okay - enough digressing. It will work out well. The UU isn't really heavy on ceremony protocol, there is no communion of the bread/wine variety, and at least at mine, there is no prayer - just a Buddhist two-minute Rev-led meditation quiet-time, complete with Tibetan dingy-type bowl for a chime, although a good number of the congregation pray at home.

          I will tell you how smooth our UU is: last Easter, the kids all were running around the church looking for Easter eggs that were hidden in the classrooms and hallways whilst the main service was being held. The way our church is built, one hallway runs behind and above the altar, on the other side of the wall. So, all of the adults were in our two-minutes of meditation when one of the high school kids states in a firm voice "Don't be such a retard!". You could hear every syllable clear as day. The Rev completes the meditation just like nothing had ever happened... we all are wondering if he will dare and what he will say... and then he says to the congregation... "It is always amazing what you hear when you are silent."
          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

          Comment


          • #50
            Hellooooo Journal!

            It is a quiet Saturday morning at Crabbcakes Manor. I am the only one awake - we all are recovering from lack of sleep due to Movie Night last night (it being Friday night and Mr. Crabbcakes didn't need to wake up and work this morning...). First, Second, and I watched old episodes of the A-Team, then Leslie Nielsen's flick "Dracula - Dead and Loving It", and finished the night off with several episodes of AFV (America's Funniest Home Videos). Yup - we were going for the laughs last night, and loved every minute. And yes, we have seriously G-rated tastes in this house...

            Fourth took Mr. Crabbcakes upstairs to the master bedroom TV, where Third was already ensconced, and I have no idea what they watched, but it was definitely kid-video stuff (Mr. Crabbcakes and I wouldn't have it any other way). I think it was Alvin and the Chipmunks.

            So - the YAYOG thing didn't materialize. Yet. But I didn't do it in favor of a lot of driving and even more housework. Last night I dragged a rug outside and scrubbed it - by hand. That definitely counts as work!

            I have been really good about the diet, and it has paid me in return by...

            GETTING ME TO THE SECOND HOLE ON THE BELT-MEASURE!!

            Woohoo!!! Yeah!!!! A couple of days ago I even wore my smallest jeans two days straight and they fit comfortably! Then I swelled a bit (my body is really, really responsive in the swelling department - for example, my hands swell so much in the course of a day, especially if the weather is hot outside and I am in it, that I need to remove my wedding bands or they get uncomfortable) so I put on the next size up - and then had to wear a belt. And THEN discovered it is very comfortable at the second hole... Awesomeness!!!

            I still do dairy, but I have been switching from cow to goat, for the most part (the buttermilk is still cow). I found a local dairy that sells raw goat-milk cheddar, bought a block, and really like it. So now I have two goat cheeses that are easily accessible (chevre and the cheddar) that satisfy my hankering for dairy.

            Third goes back to school on the 22nd, so next week has been proclaimed Regular Bedtimes Are Reinstated Week - in preparation for the rude awakening that usually happens in this house at the beginning of a new school year when everybody needs to get up on a schedule. In the morning, that is. Ugh. It would be so nice to be like Grok and just get up without any alarm clocks and bullshit - permanently.

            I have been thinking that this might be a good time to practice some sleep hygiene on my part. I already know that my sleep-tank is full on 7 to 7-1/2 hours of solid sleep, so if I can get prone a little before midnight, that should do the trick. I cannot set a firm, to-the-minute bedtime for myself or the psychological pressure will kill it right on the first night - I have a weird personality that way - so I need to reframe it in a way that is a little more lenient. It hasn't escaped me that lack of quality sleep will kinda' screw up your health... so if I want the kids to have good sleep habits, then maybe Mom should walk her talk as well. Sigh.

            So, I now have my sights set on beginning the YAYOG intro-fooling-around-thingy this coming Monday, since all of us will be up early (damn school schedules) and all. Hopefully, dear Journal, it won't take me another week to stop by this way again, but stop by I definitely will...
            I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

            Comment


            • #51
              Congrats on the belt victory!

              And I totally feel you on the sleep schedule thing. I've really been slipping lately, personally. Last night I didn't go to bed until 9:30am. Yeah. Just like old times! Ugh.

              _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

              Comment


              • #52
                Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                Hellooooo Journal!

                It is a quiet Saturday morning at Crabbcakes Manor. I am the only one awake - we all are recovering from lack of sleep due to Movie Night last night (it being Friday night and Mr. Crabbcakes didn't need to wake up and work this morning...). First, Second, and I watched old episodes of the A-Team, then Leslie Nielsen's flick "Dracula - Dead and Loving It", and finished the night off with several episodes of AFV (America's Funniest Home Videos). Yup - we were going for the laughs last night, and loved every minute. And yes, we have seriously G-rated tastes in this house...

                Fourth took Mr. Crabbcakes upstairs to the master bedroom TV, where Third was already ensconced, and I have no idea what they watched, but it was definitely kid-video stuff (Mr. Crabbcakes and I wouldn't have it any other way). I think it was Alvin and the Chipmunks.

                So - the YAYOG thing didn't materialize. Yet. But I didn't do it in favor of a lot of driving and even more housework. Last night I dragged a rug outside and scrubbed it - by hand. That definitely counts as work!

                I have been really good about the diet, and it has paid me in return by...

                GETTING ME TO THE SECOND HOLE ON THE BELT-MEASURE!!

                Woohoo!!! Yeah!!!! A couple of days ago I even wore my smallest jeans two days straight and they fit comfortably! Then I swelled a bit (my body is really, really responsive in the swelling department - for example, my hands swell so much in the course of a day, especially if the weather is hot outside and I am in it, that I need to remove my wedding bands or they get uncomfortable) so I put on the next size up - and then had to wear a belt. And THEN discovered it is very comfortable at the second hole... Awesomeness!!!

                I still do dairy, but I have been switching from cow to goat, for the most part (the buttermilk is still cow). I found a local dairy that sells raw goat-milk cheddar, bought a block, and really like it. So now I have two goat cheeses that are easily accessible (chevre and the cheddar) that satisfy my hankering for dairy.

                Third goes back to school on the 22nd, so next week has been proclaimed Regular Bedtimes Are Reinstated Week - in preparation for the rude awakening that usually happens in this house at the beginning of a new school year when everybody needs to get up on a schedule. In the morning, that is. Ugh. It would be so nice to be like Grok and just get up without any alarm clocks and bullshit - permanently.

                I have been thinking that this might be a good time to practice some sleep hygiene on my part. I already know that my sleep-tank is full on 7 to 7-1/2 hours of solid sleep, so if I can get prone a little before midnight, that should do the trick. I cannot set a firm, to-the-minute bedtime for myself or the psychological pressure will kill it right on the first night - I have a weird personality that way - so I need to reframe it in a way that is a little more lenient. It hasn't escaped me that lack of quality sleep will kinda' screw up your health... so if I want the kids to have good sleep habits, then maybe Mom should walk her talk as well. Sigh.

                So, I now have my sights set on beginning the YAYOG intro-fooling-around-thingy this coming Monday, since all of us will be up early (damn school schedules) and all. Hopefully, dear Journal, it won't take me another week to stop by this way again, but stop by I definitely will...
                Comedy movie nights at the house are always a blast!! But, yes, I always want to stay up past bedtime, even when I knoow my 5:30am self isn't going to be happy about it! Congrats on your smaller belt!

                Comment


                • #53
                  Originally posted by Rasputina View Post
                  Congrats on your smaller belt!
                  Thanks, Raspy! And thanks for checking in here - I always love company! I'm kinda' talky that way...

                  Glad to hear that your job is really working out - it is always a real boost to like what you are doing, no matter the pay. You could do me the favor and talk a bit about a standing desk - they sound interesting, but I just don't know how you do it. I used to work at a cashier's job for a department store and also as a server for a catering company and both jobs just killed the feet and legs after I was on my feet all day (night).
                  I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                  Comment


                  • #54
                    Originally posted by Gravyboat View Post
                    Congrats on the belt victory!

                    And I totally feel you on the sleep schedule thing. I've really been slipping lately, personally. Last night I didn't go to bed until 9:30am. Yeah. Just like old times! Ugh.
                    Oh, god - the sleep thing... I have been a night owl for as long as I have memory... literally since I was a little crab. My mom did throw my younger crab sibling and I into bed at regular times during our growing up years - I think that is the only way I got regular sleep - 'cause she did it to us and I had no choice in the matter.

                    I just adore the night hours. I regularly get a second wind at around 10.00 pm, and feel like my "day" should start at 6 pm. My idea of torture is to wake up in the morning before the sun rises - which makes the deep winter a bitch, even as I enjoy the long evenings it provides.

                    Thanks for the congrats!
                    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                    Comment


                    • #55
                      Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                      Oh, god - the sleep thing... I have been a night owl for as long as I have memory... literally since I was a little crab. My mom did throw my younger crab sibling and I into bed at regular times during our growing up years - I think that is the only way I got regular sleep - 'cause she did it to us and I had no choice in the matter.

                      I just adore the night hours. I regularly get a second wind at around 10.00 pm, and feel like my "day" should start at 6 pm. My idea of torture is to wake up in the morning before the sun rises - which makes the deep winter a bitch, even as I enjoy the long evenings it provides.

                      Thanks for the congrats!
                      I am the exact same way, seriously. I have always been most comfortable sleeping in the middle of the day, but my problem is I just never really get tired. The only way I can keep a normal schedule like normal people is to take melatonin to knock me out, and lately it just hasn't been doing the trick. And I'm taking 5mg, which is already a pretty high dose. If I don't take it at all, I just literally never get tired. And lately, when I do take it, I get sorta tired, like "Yeah, I could sleep", but not really enough that my eyelids get heavy and I am passing out, which is what I want.

                      So frustrating!

                      _-J o u r n a l_--------- ---- ---- --- --- -- -- -

                      Comment


                      • #56
                        Found you! Thanks for the invitation to your journal. I'll write more tomorrow, here it's midnight, and I'm off to bed ...

                        Comment


                        • #57
                          Originally posted by Bess58 View Post
                          Found you! Thanks for the invitation to your journal. I'll write more tomorrow, here it's midnight, and I'm off to bed ...
                          Schoen dass Sie hier sind! Glad you came over - talk to you as soon as I can. Just so you know, I have a special-needs daughter, and Wednesdays are one of her major therapy days - I won't be back bis so ungefaehr 22.00 Uhr local time, also 4.00 Uhr am Donnerstag. Bis bald!
                          Last edited by Crabbcakes; 08-14-2012, 03:17 PM.
                          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                          Comment


                          • #58
                            Hi crabbcakes,

                            I know you are still on your busy wednesday, but I wanted to leave you a line after reading through your journal. My goodness, what a busy person you are! I cannot imagine how I would cope with a big family, a house and all that driving. I'm a single mom with a grown daughter who studies abroad, and I have never owned a car. Our lives couldn't be more different, but that's what makes an exchange like this all the more interesting!

                            Here in the center of Cologne/Germany (yes, the city with the famous cathedral) it's nearly eight p.m., and a hot, stuffy and loud day is coming to an end. I live an a beautiful inner city neighbourhood with nice houses, but as there is a lot of media industry here, we keep stumbling over film crews. One has been shooting scenes under my kitchen window all day with a lot of shouting, dashing around and runnig their noisy generators. It's not interesting anymore, just annoying! And it looks like they are going to stay some more - the trailers are all still there.

                            I have the same problems as you with getting more movement into everyday life. I am totally the sedentary type, just like my mom and my grandmother before me. But now I have been weightlifting for eight months, and it does me a lot of good. Also, I try to fit long walks into my day. To make them less boring, I set myself a destination (a special shop or flea market for example, or the botanical garden or the zoo) and just walk there instead of taking the subway. Of course I realize that this is not possible in your rural area.

                            Looks like your German is very good! But you can call me "du" if you talk to me in German, that's normal on internet forums. (For the other readers who are not Crabbcakes: In German there is a formal way of addressing people - "Sie" - and a personal way - "du", complete with a whole set of different endings to the verbs - terrible language.)

                            Looking forward to hearing from you!

                            Best wishes, Bess

                            Comment


                            • #59
                              Hi Bess!

                              Well, the Wednesday is over, and it went well. Re the busy-ness - I have to balance the long commuting days with no-driving days or I would never make it long-term. I don't really like driving much, but it can't be avoided, given we chose to live way out here and I want to also provide therapy for Third and city stimulation/opportunities for First, Second, and Fourth. Living here IS therapy for most of this family (I'm the one who misses big cities, but not enough to move the family back to urban New Jersey), and gets us closer to raw nature (which was a goal of mine), so it works.

                              Mondays and Wednesdays are therapy days. Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday are no-drive days, but decently often I have to use them anyway to get the various progeny to their Kieferorthopaedie (Erste und Zweite tragen Zahnspangen und Dritte und Vierte werden sie auch benoetigen), oder Kinderarzt, oder Zahnarzt, although this has been tapering off as they grow up. Third has lots of specialists at the Cleveland Clinic (a fancy well-known world-class hospital in... Cleveland OH), so in the late fall there is a lot of driving on off-days for her annual check-ups with all of her doctors there - about 7 of them. But even that has been getting better as these appointments are check-ups and not actual sick-kid appointments like they used to be when Third wasn't very well. Now Third is healthy as a horse but we still need to check in to check progress and growth and all that.

                              Saturday is "holy" for us - nobody plans anything on a Saturday unless it is fun (or Mr. Crabbcakes is returning from a business trip). Sunday is church day.

                              Thanks for the "duzen"! I was fully prepared to use Sie for any and all German, but I am wondering about it... is it because the German portions of the Internet are populated by young Deutsche and they are a bit more relaxed and worldly??

                              Koeln sounds like fun. I never made it there. Isn't that a big Fasching town? And sometime I'd like to hear how you got into the business of teaching German to Auslaender / English-German translating. In my post-raising-children life I plan to go to college and get a degree in German Studies.

                              So - WHAT IS THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE THEY ARE SHOOTING, AND WHY AREN'T YOU AN EXTRA IN IT?? Oh - is it a German production??



                              Glossary: Kieferorthopaedie = orthodontist. Kinderarzt = pediatrician. Zahnarzt = dentist. Fasching = the German version of Mardi Gras. Auslaender = foreigners.

                              Note: German capitalizes all nouns, irregardless of where thay appear in a sentence. So - if you see a capitalized word in the middle of a sentence and it doesn't look like a name/title of anything - it is a noun.

                              P.S.: Even though I have German family, we all don't write all that often, and I really like chatting with Germans who AREN'T my family (it takes friends AND family, ya know), so at the moment I may bore any readers of this journal with the peppered-with-German thing, but of course only with Bess, as I get the excitement out of my system.
                              I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                              Comment


                              • #60
                                Hello, crabbcakes!

                                Glad your busy wednesday went well. I can see you really need to drive. My daughter also has a car, as she lives in deepest "Niederrhein" in a little village with a population of 500 and needs to drive to get around.

                                Sorry to hear that your children, especially "Third", need so much medical treatment. I read about Third when I was lurking in another thread. I can hardly imagine how worried you must have been at times and most likely still are. My daughter also had health problems in her childhood, but not as severe. She was born with atopic dermatitis, allergies and asthma, and as a child she had very bad teeth, by courtesy of her father. But in daily life nothing of this bothers her much, and she grew up to be a happy, successful young woman. I am sure your children will also grow out of many of their problems!

                                You asked about the "duzen". On the internet and in forums it is absolutely common, regardless of the posters' age. Also in many workplaces. It was "du" when I had my last "regular job" over fifteen years ago; we only "siezed" the bosses. My daughter works in a clothes shop, and there it is also "du" although some of her co-workers are my age. And it depends on the social circles you are in. I am a sort of latter-day hippie and very active in a self-governing communal center (Bürgerzentrum). Everybody in the "Verein" (of course it's a club again - very German) call each other "du", wheter they are young people or over seventy. And of course at schools and universities it is "du". The Dutch even go to more extremes: At my daughter's university in the Netherlands, the students "duz" the teachers and professors.

                                Yes, Cologne considers itself the world capital of "Karneval", as it is called here. (I think Fasching exists only in southern Germany.) People take it very seriously and call it the "fifth season" (fünfte Jahreszeit). Maybe you can tell that I was not born here, and sometimes the "Kölsche" rather get on my nerves with their local patriotism. I used to like it, but I have been living now for several years above a Kölsche Brauhaus (typical pub), and during Karneval the walls shake and the glasses jump in the cupboard (literally) from all the noise and singing.

                                I got into teaching and translating mostly by coincidence. I had always done tutoring / private lessons since my school days, and through this experience I was able to get into teaching German as a foreign language at my university and later as a full time job in a private institution. Never studied a day of "Germanistik" / German Studies. So maybe you can also try to get into teaching without a degree in German, starting small with private lessons? Today I am a freelance translator and do light fiction like romantic novels, historicals and fantasy.

                                You found the MOVIE story interesting, didn't you? Nothing big, but I cannot tell you the title. We have several of the smaller, private TV channels like RTL here in Cologne, and it usually is for one of their series. But once I stumbled over two investigators from "Tatort" when I went to the shops. You surely know the series, it has been around like forever, at least for twenty years.

                                I also really hope I am not killing your thread with all that talk about Germany; but maybe others find a glimpse into a small european country interesting too ...

                                Wish you a nice day - here Thursday is nearly over already. Looking forward to talking to you again soon!

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