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Gettin' All-Primal in the Applachians

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  • Merry Christmas CC, I hope you and all the little crablets have the best christmas
    G xxx
    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

    ...small steps....

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    • Well, here it is, April already, and Ohio is still cold. I figure it is time for me to say hello and update the journal some.

      For the quick run-down: Hubby, Second and Fourth spent 11 days exploring California back in February. They drove from San Francisco to San Diego and back, hitting lots of stuff along the way like the LaBrea Tar Pits, the Hollywood sign, Sea World, Death Valley, every beach they could reach, the Golden Gate Bridge, Muir Woods park, that kind of thing. Hubby had a real vacation - he actually didn't log on and telecommute as he usually does. With the two biggest Third-antagonists gone, the rest of us had a wonderfully, beautifully peaceful time at home - not one cross word for 11 days. Heaven. Third walked around spontaneously giggling.

      Our kittens are getting big - the three brothers will be 1 y.o. next month, and little Auggie is growing like a bad weed.

      First is now 17 and Fourth turned 11 a week ago.

      Ten days ago I had an altercation with my kitchen mandoline and I lost. I chopped a fingertip clean off. After a trip to Statcare for antibiotics, packing, and a tetanus shot, I went to the Clinic to see if I needed a skin graft, but luckily not. It is healing quickly and I am grateful for the fancy-pants fingertip guards that orthopedics have - that way I don't slam the fingertip around as I go about my daily round.

      Third's school has decided that all parents are persona non grata now. They have instituted a leave-your-kid-at-the-front-door-but-you-stay-outside and a call-and-make-appointments-for-everything policy. This little twist has kept me busy for a couple of weeks as I called the MRDD superintendent and complained, and had a face-to-face meeting with the school principal and complained - to no avail. Looooong story short, I am applying for an available State grant, which will cover expenses to seek her schooling elsewhere, and that elsewhere will be at home. The money, if granted, would cover all of her extreme speech expenses for private therapy, which we always pay out-of-pocket because insurance companies always consider speech therapy, even if it works, "educational" for kids with congenital problems, plus. From an extreme logic POV, if they don't trust parents because they "might" do something, anything, then conversely, how can I trust THEM not to do anything?! Especially all the people whom I STILL meet in town who know my daughter by name, but I have never been introduced to nor notified would be around the school, like part-time substitute aides. HMMMMM?!?!

      Third's new foot braces were denied by insurance with the excuse that braces are only for "diabetics". And then I had to cancel Third's PT and OT, both, because Hubby thinks we are going to financial hell on the express elevator (we aren't). Yet another thing I get to take over and feel crushing responsibility for. I know this doesn't jive with 11 days in Cali, but the plane tickets were on frequent flyer miles, and unexpectedly we got some fun money from the in-laws for Christmas, and those three ate from freezer bags they made up, so no gourmet meals, and they got to stay with a great-aunt a bit, and the like. Cali on the cheap.

      And the fridge died.

      Anyway, all this financial stuff hit hard and fast this winter, and top it off with school policies I do NOT agree with, and I was just permanently pissed off and dissatisfied and wondering where the hell I had landed myself, being a SAHM and not bringing in dough, and the life choices I have made to get to this point, and unhappiness with hubby, and all that head-job craziness, that I really couldn't write. I was, and still decently feel, like I am a whirlpool of negativity and confusion, and didn't want it all hangin' on the Internet for all eternity. If this is a midlife crisis, it sucks.

      As for the diet - "what diet?!" pretty much sums stuff up. Speaking of up, everything is up: stress hormones, flabbiness, sugar consumption, weight. I am slogging along, finding answers for everything bit by bit, though.

      I haven't read any journals or posts yet, so I will need to get a move on in that direction, to read what y'all have been up to. Hopefully folks are doing well.
      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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      • Crabby, it was so great to click on the Journals forum and see you here!

        I'm truly sorry that the planet is pissing on your parade, and hope you see positive resolutions soon. For now, I hope you'll accept a big squishy

        It does seem to happen sometimes that when we need healthful food the most, we tend to put it on the back burner. I know you'll be back to doing it right.

        Damn, girl, welcome back! Missed you.
        "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

        B*tch-lite

        Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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        • Crabby, while I am super happy to hear from you, I am sad things are tough. You have a lot on your plate. I felt my stress levels going up just reading about it! Big cyber hugs!

          You are doing an amazing job taking care of those girls and hubby. I don't know anyone with special needs kids who are happy with the schools that their kids attend and everyone seems to have to fight for every little thing. I wish I had actual words of wisdom for you. Hopefully things will get better as the year goes on.

          Is it possible to get respite care for the girls so you can occasionally have a little time to your self? Our friends with three autistic boys used to get so many hours a month of respite care from someone licensed to care for the boys so they could have time together. It made a huge difference for them.

          Your mandolin accident is why I am not allowed to use mine without a Kevlar glove. I can cut myself with a butter knife so when Hubby got the mandolin for me for Christmas, he also got the glove. I hope your finger heals quickly and well!

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          • I am so happy to find a fellow Appalachian !!!! I am still having trouble with journal thing on here ... haven't gotten the hang of it yet ...

            Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

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            • Oh CC I can't tell you how happy I was when I stumbled onto a posting of yours! I did a double take and looked at the date.

              I completely know what you mean about being the SAHM and not bringing in the dough. I got (still am if I think about it) depressed this Winter over it. A friend of mine, who took care of her mom who had Alzheimer's, reminded me that I am needed at home. When you include women who leave their jobs to take care of parents there are quite a few of us. Most of the time Hubby and I remember that my work at home is essential. It's easy to forget when DS is doing well or on Fridays when he goes to school but when he's sick or needs help with his school we are reminded that he still needs me here. Sure it would be nice to have more money but honestly in the area where we live there are so few jobs and the few that are here pay so little that it hardly seems worth it.

              I hope the arrangement you want for Third works out. I'd be pretty annoyed if the school had a drop off at the door policy. Hubby as you know teaches HS ceramics and he tells me some of the aids at the school are really questionable, most don't have any training at all. I'd definitely want to know who was working with my child.

              I'm off to Oakland on Tuesday for a couple of days with DS for his annual CF check-up. We'll do some fun stuff too while we are there and tomorrow is DS's birthday, he turns 16! So I'll be more busy in the next couple of days, but I'm going to be checking your journal from now on!
              Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

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              • Yay! Crabby's back
                Immensely pleased to hear from you and echo everyone else's sentiments about the magnitude of your workload.
                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                • image.jpg

                  The three brothers. Outside just looks soooo tempting. Too bad we aren't yet allowed to go out. But soon, according to our human.
                  I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                  • Dearest darling CC welcome back. I have been so incredibly worried about you and yours, and am sad that things have been so tough. Hang in there kid, and know that you are loved and missed everyday.
                    X
                    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                    ...small steps....

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                    • Joanie - squishy hug welcomed!! Hubby was in Nola a week ago but I didn't go. I WILL eventually meet you and then we go walking in the city. And drinking. Or, rather, drinking while walking and walking while drinking. Yup. He took a streetcar ride. I love how the wooden seat backs just flip around when the car needs to go down the tracks on the return trip - I saw that myself when I was there back when.

                      Vh - I actually told Second to get online and find me a pair of chain mail gloves the minute I returned from the doc, and she told me she had found Kevlar. I am thinking serious metal-link shark-bite protection gloves, but do the Kevlar work well?? And thanks heaps for the words of encouragement - feels good. I try hard and never cheat or lie about the things Third needs, and just grrrrrrrrrr sometimes, you know? Yeah, I think it is time for some away time. Hubby and I are walking a fine line, two people supporting the family together but slowly estranged from each other.

                      Forager! If there is one really sore spot to being married, you nailed it. Yes, I really cherish the time with the kids while they are yet mine, and yes, I do have hubby's support (he actually talks me out of taking weenie jobs because he says I do more than I realize and he couldn't pay for the equivalent support were I to work), but sonofabitch it gets hard and I actually get depressed about it, too.

                      Badger - looking forward to reading your escapades. And - how much is that missing Malaysian jet in the Aussie news, seeing as how the Australians are heading the search?
                      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                      • Originally posted by NZ primal Gwamma View Post
                        Dearest darling CC welcome back. I have been so incredibly worried about you and yours, and am sad that things have been so tough. Hang in there kid, and know that you are loved and missed everyday.
                        X
                        Thanks, gwamma! You hang in there, too, missus! I read a couple of pages already, and I hafta admit that I actually like what your man did to the SIL while you all were in Australia - agreeing that everything was either poisoned or about to blow up or whatever. I would have done the same at this point, and then been lusciously entertained as hysterics ensued. Yeah, I am still feeling evil from the winter.
                        I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                        • Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                          Badger - looking forward to reading your escapades.
                          I've been writing up a few ancient history escapades recently. A project I might return to, although after this weekend I'm feeling slightly queasy about the exhibitionism aspect.

                          Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                          And - how much is that missing Malaysian jet in the Aussie news, seeing as how the Australians are heading the search?
                          I mainly read the UK news, which is still covering the story, so I'm not sure if it's in the Aussie news. My co-workers are still chatting about it so I will hazard a guess, yes.
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                          • So, what else has happened while I was away.... Ah. This winter First and Second went to OMEA music competition for piano, like they do every year. This year they had a little surprise in store - the two of them decided to play the exact same piece. Uh oh. The piano teacher and I tried to talk them out of it, but no, both of them had their hearts set on the same piece of music, so teach and I thought it would be interesting to see how they handle it. First was good to go. Second... Not so much. Just by dint of being second in the birth order, she feels naturally competitive with First, no matter that First has never ever ever ever felt the need to goad her sister nor does she even like being competitive herself - totally Second's problem. And yup, it was a problem.

                            Second is a very good piano player in her own right, but First was born to play certain styles of classical music and has a musicality that the dumbest listener cannot help but notice, as does Second, and while Second is truly happy that First gets compliments, she is simultaneously jealous. It was a "race" in Second's mind to bring the piece to competition polish before First, which she "lost". Yeah, First notices this stuff and consults me in private about what she might do or not do to bring Second some peace about this - First is that sweet. But in the end Second had to power through it. And I told them and the piano teacher - no more identical pieces for competition!! Gee whiz the teen psych counseling sessions I had with Second.

                            And then First gets a near-perfect score while Second clenched on the piano bench and got the equivalent of a B to First's A. While First struggles with serious performance anxiety and Second hardly ever, no less. And they were scheduled to play back to back - not even the piano teacher could change that (she tried). Oof.

                            Second, today, is all right. But, folks, don't let sisters do this in your household!
                            Last edited by Crabbcakes; 04-07-2014, 05:37 AM.
                            I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

                            Comment


                            • Glad to see you are still out there keepin on crabby! The life of being the maid... Uh I mean SAHM... And the teacher, chauffeur, chef, counselor.....it never ends! Hoping all goes for the best with Third and school. This is not easy stuff, so be kind to yourself and do find some time alone with hubby.

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                              • MudFlinger - thanks for the words of encouragement!

                                I have been trying to write in the journal, but we are having hair-pullingly frustrating problems with our internet service, and hubby gets first dibs as he works from home. I actually am writing this from the sitting room of Third's speech therapy practice.

                                Otherwise, the chopped off finger is healing great and everybody is healthy. Lent is coming to a close, and our project (which I unilaterally assign each year, and which is always a project designed and aimed at improving family communication and respect) for this year has been improving our tone of voice, word choice, and attitude in general when talking or referring to Third. Reason: I have noticed a definite tendency to ordering her around, not thinking the best of some situation until/if it turns out to be problematic, and just barkiness on general. Life for her must be frustrating when she has five sergeants always at her, so I mean to call attention to it before it becomes ingrained habit and Third acts out. Her sisters would not condone such attitudes towards themselves so I ask for the same respect for Third.

                                I hear the forecast is snow for tomorrow for Ohio. €~^{?.^#? I have had enough of the stuff!

                                Hubby and I left the kids behind and went to the movies. The new Captain America flick. Felt good. No dinner with the movie - ate at home as the movie would end too late to go anywhere besides the 24hour McD's. The girls are good that way - no problems when we go out for a few hours.

                                And I wanted to eat rabbit stew for Easter but I cannot locate rabbit locally. Harrumph.
                                I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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