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waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal

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  • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
    It takes a bunch o guts to speak out about this kind of thing, and it is especially hairy trying to do it without making anyone feel like they are getting their toes stomped with golf shoes.... good for you for speaking up.
    Yup, you can't make omelettes ETC....fair play to you BG.

    Comment


    • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
      Youngest sister has made it all about *feelings* and how *special* every member of her family is in an email to everyone. Husband told me not to respond. I did. With gusto. I focused on two things: the state of mad sister and the state of the house. I very clearly stated that if this was my family rather than in laws I would have called in the cavalry years and years ago that this was not a value judgement on anyone, or the family as a whole, but that external help was clearly required.

      I doubt FiL and MiL will ever speak to me again.
      DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL...

      If the in-laws don't talk to you again, you and Small Boy will be spared their nonsense. Although it does nothing but create tensions between you and hubby. I really hope you two are going to be okay through this.

      If one member of a family has a mental illness, things can still work as long as everybody recognizes the illness as such. But when a whole cheering section is locked together in individual and codependent illness, it is always surprising, when someone like you badger, comes along and has the fortitude to bust up the dynamic, whom among the remaining family members is/was a silent supporter.

      Big hugs, lady.
      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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      • Sending thoughts of calmness your way. It is so hard to be the " the instigator" in these situations as everyone will blaming you for the problem. That's ok. You know the truth. When you read about how these horrible situations may end in the news everyone asks " how did it come to this". It is because no one acted. No one did the " hard job".

        Our adopted daughter was with crazy parents for 6 1/2 yrs. Her brother was 5yrs when authorities finally removed them. We know much of the extended family. They are great people, but no one took the needed action for the piece that they saw. When the picture was puzzled together it was a mess of neglect and abuse. While she is doing well at 17 almost 18 now, her brother is not. The family is tortured by this fact.

        My point is that you probably have no idea how bad things actually are. The family will hopefully understand and maybe even be thankful to you one day ... at least we can hope!

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        • Hi MF,

          Ah you see I do have fears that things are fully, fully as bad as they can possibly be. I have to stamp that out a little as my own perspective is exactly that of your adopted daughter, given that my own adoption story is remarkably similar.

          Today's development? FiL has written, in business English, a cease and desist notice to the clan saying I AM THE MAN, I AM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PRETTY HEADS SHOULD NOT BE TROUBLED.

          Oh, how I laughed. If he thinks he can intimidate me the way he intimidates his wife and children and I will sit quietly and accept while his poor decision-making continues to endanger the health of mad SiL (with knock-on effects for husband and everyone else) he is going to be VERY unpleasantly surprised. Husband and I have agreed a timeline - if significant progress has not been made by the end of January, we will act again.

          Hurrah!
          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

          Comment


          • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
            Hi MF,

            Ah you see I do have fears that things are fully, fully as bad as they can possibly be. I have to stamp that out a little as my own perspective is exactly that of your adopted daughter, given that my own adoption story is remarkably similar.

            Today's development? FiL has written, in business English, a cease and desist notice to the clan saying I AM THE MAN, I AM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PRETTY HEADS SHOULD NOT BE TROUBLED.

            Oh, how I laughed. If he thinks he can intimidate me the way he intimidates his wife and children and I will sit quietly and accept while his poor decision-making continues to endanger the health of mad SiL (with knock-on effects for husband and everyone else) he is going to be VERY unpleasantly surprised. Husband and I have agreed a timeline - if significant progress has not been made by the end of January, we will act again.

            Hurrah!
            Stand your ground... keep a stiff upper lip and all that.. jolly good show....

            Comment


            • You got more patience than me waiting 'till the end of January, you got to give him a chance I suppose! But at least the old mans on board, good on you and him.

              Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
              Stand your ground... keep a stiff upper lip and all that.. jolly good show....
              Our reknowned Britishness rises to fore old boy.... what oh old chapess, think of queen and country, commonwealth, when a map of the world was pink, ETC....

              Comment


              • Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                You got more patience than me waiting 'till the end of January, you got to give him a chance I suppose! But at least the old mans on board, good on you and him.



                Our reknowned Britishness rises to fore old boy.... what oh old chapess, think of queen and country, commonwealth, when a map of the world was pink, ETC....
                Pip, pip, Talley ho! lol

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                • I'm reading Decline and Fall by Evelyn Waugh - very recommended for tally ho, pip pip comedy dialogue. Actually, very recommended in general - have only read Brideshead before and have been surprised at just how funny it is.

                  Now, let's see how the PiL's quilt is getting on...

                  Those little dots aren't dots...I decided to hand quilt/embroider daisies on some of the plain hexes

                  A bit regretsy, but never mind.

                  Doc has me all inspired, with his talk of crimbo decs - this is my adoration of the badgers:
                  I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                  • PiL... Putzes in Law? sorry... couldn't resist.... Verry nice quilt... good job!

                    lol for you Adoration of the Badger... very cute!

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                      PiL... Putzes in Law? sorry... couldn't resist.... Verry nice quilt... good job!

                      lol for you Adoration of the Badger... very cute!
                      pillocks in law

                      small boy wrote to father christmas to request a baby jesus badger (I made a baby jesus badger for a full-on adoration scene, but gave my personal jesus to mr best friend a few years ago). I may as well start saving now for the therapy he'll need, right?
                      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                        pillocks in law

                        small boy wrote to father christmas to request a baby jesus badger (I made a baby jesus badger for a full-on adoration scene, but gave my personal jesus to mr best friend a few years ago). I may as well start saving now for the therapy he'll need, right?
                        pillocks... similar to putz, so I wasn't far off....

                        psychiatric care isn't covered under your health service? hmmmm (that is a serious question, as I know very little about what is or isn't covered under your health care system.. I now return to my normal snarky, sarcastic self)

                        I'm not exactly sure what a baby jesus badger would look like... just small and in diapers?

                        As far as giving away your personal jesus.. theologically speaking, I think that is against the rules...... you scofflaw, you!

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                        • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                          pillocks in law
                          Was going to ask if it was that! Those badgers rock as does the quilt....

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                          • I have yet to figure out exactly how the hell the public and private systems interact here (even after three years working at a medical college - oh dear). Medicare covers, well it's complicated. It's just like the NHS, i.e. a bit shoddy, but sometimes it costs you money.
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                              I have yet to figure out exactly how the hell the public and private systems interact here (even after three years working at a medical college - oh dear). Medicare covers, well it's complicated. It's just like the NHS, i.e. a bit shoddy, but sometimes it costs you money.
                              wow... and they say that the sytem here is broken.... what a frikin nightmare....

                              Comment


                              • Because it’s that time of year, here’s my gift to you:
                                The Santa Brand Refresh for 2013 ‘It begins with the Hiss of Power and ends with the Ah of Surprise’

                                Today's poem is suitably apocalyptic and WB Yeats almost at his best...

                                THE SECOND COMING

                                Turning and turning in the widening gyre
                                The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
                                Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
                                Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
                                The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
                                The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
                                The best lack all conviction, while the worst
                                Are full of passionate intensity.

                                Surely some revelation is at hand;
                                Surely the Second Coming is at hand.
                                The Second Coming! Hardly are those words out
                                When a vast image out of Spiritus Mundi
                                Troubles my sight: a waste of desert sand;
                                A shape with lion body and the head of a man,
                                A gaze blank and pitiless as the sun,
                                Is moving its slow thighs, while all about it
                                Wind shadows of the indignant desert birds.

                                The darkness drops again but now I know
                                That twenty centuries of stony sleep
                                Were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle,
                                And what rough beast, its hour come round at last,
                                Slouches towards Bethlehem to be born?
                                Last edited by badgergirl; 12-11-2013, 01:22 AM.
                                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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