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waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal

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  • I hope someday your SIL realizes what a wonderful thing you did for her.

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    • Originally posted by vh67 View Post
      I hope someday your SIL realizes what a wonderful thing you did for her.
      I'd settle for husband realising. At the moment, while he is backing me up, he wishes I'd left it all the hell alone.
      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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      • I think deep down he does realize it. It is hard to stand up to a bully parent and he may be dealing with some conflicting feelings. And he is probably afraid of what may come out about his parents.

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        • I have chosen a new poem for today. This one is new to me, but feels strangely apt. Katherine Mansfield knew what it was to travel far from home and hearth.

          A Little Boy's Dream

          To and fro, to and fro
          In my little boat I go
          Sailing far across the sea
          All alone, just little me.
          And the sea is big and strong
          And the journey very long.
          To and fro, to and fro
          In my little boat I go.

          Sea and sky, sea and sky,
          Quietly on the deck I lie,
          Having just a little rest.
          I have really done my best
          In an awful pirate fight,
          But we cdaptured them all right.
          Sea and sky, sea and sky,
          Quietly on the deck I lie--

          Far away, far away
          From my home and from my play,
          On a journey without end
          Only with the sea for friend
          And the fishes in the sea.
          But they swim away from me
          Far away, far away
          From my home and from my play.

          Then he cried "O Mother dear."
          And he woke and sat upright,
          They were in the rocking chair,
          Mother's arms around him--tight.

          Katherine Mansfield
          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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          • A very thought provoking poem Badger.........
            "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

            ...small steps....

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            • today's dose of drama

              I spoke to the mental health folks again: what gives? Apparently, FiL got the phone message for mad SiL from them, rang back and said: no, no nothing to see here; thanks, but no thanks. (It is entirely in keeping that he did this without consulting SiL or MiL - if he had someone would have rung us/turned up on the doorstep to have hysterics.) The CAT team were ready to roll anyway when they realised they didn't have all of husband's phone number, they were missing a digit. By the time that got sorted they ran out of time. However, it seems as though today is the day.

              I am bricking it. Anyone got a good poem? Found one... today is definitely an Elizabeth Smart kind of a day.

              O Poor People

              Let us invoke a healthy heart-breaking
              Towards the horrible world:
              Let us say O poor people
              How can they help being so absurd,
              Misguided, abused, misled?

              With unsifted saving graces jostling about
              On a mucky medley of needs,
              Like love-lit shit,
              Year after cyclic year
              The unidentifiable flying god is missed.

              Emotions sit in their heads disguised as judges,
              Or are twisted to look like mathematical formulae,
              And only a scarce god-given scientist notices
              His trembling lip melting the heart of the rat.

              Whoever gave us the idea somebody loved us?
              Far in our wounded depths faint memories cry,
              A vision flickers below subliminally
              But immanence looms unbearably: TURN IT OFF! they hiss.
              Elizabeth Smart

              ETA - the second dose
              Team got there and FiL would not let them through the front gate. They left after saying that mad SiL must get seen by her family doctor and a report sent to the mental health team. However, SiL doesn't have a medicare number let alone a doctor.

              The fight will continue.
              Last edited by badgergirl; 12-05-2013, 09:14 PM.
              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                I spoke to the mental health folks again: what gives? Apparently, FiL got the phone message for mad SiL from them, rang back and said: no, no nothing to see here; thanks, but no thanks. (It is entirely in keeping that he did this without consulting SiL or MiL - if he had someone would have rung us/turned up on the doorstep to have hysterics.) The CAT team were ready to roll anyway when they realised they didn't have all of husband's phone number, they were missing a digit. By the time that got sorted they ran out of time. However, it seems as though today is the day.

                I am bricking it. Anyone got a good poem? Found one... today is definitely an Elizabeth Smart kind of a day.

                O Poor People

                Let us invoke a healthy heart-breaking
                Towards the horrible world:
                Let us say O poor people
                How can they help being so absurd,
                Misguided, abused, misled?

                With unsifted saving graces jostling about
                On a mucky medley of needs,
                Like love-lit shit,
                Year after cyclic year
                The unidentifiable flying god is missed.

                Emotions sit in their heads disguised as judges,
                Or are twisted to look like mathematical formulae,
                And only a scarce god-given scientist notices
                His trembling lip melting the heart of the rat.

                Whoever gave us the idea somebody loved us?
                Far in our wounded depths faint memories cry,
                A vision flickers below subliminally
                But immanence looms unbearably: TURN IT OFF! they hiss.
                Elizabeth Smart

                ETA - the second dose
                Team got there and FiL would not let them through the front gate. They left after saying that mad SiL must get seen by her family doctor and a report sent to the mental health team. However, SiL doesn't have a medicare number let alone a doctor.

                The fight will continue.
                Damn.... sorry that the drama is so dramatic.........

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                • That sucks, I don't envy you one bit....and why can't something be easy.

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                  • I spose cos life is never easy - however Badger hold your head high. You have done good girl, and please do not
                    think otherwise.
                    We do what we think is right at the time, and trust me, many of us would have done the same.
                    This will work itself out, you can now relax.
                    Hoping hubsta can see the rarionale
                    G x
                    "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                    ...small steps....

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                    • I am thinking about the team arriving and leaving again, and something is amiss, probably about the way I am understanding things, but here goes: the part where FIL refuses them entry I get - his castle and his right not to let anybody into it. BUT - the mad SIL is of legal age and doesn't the team have the right to somehow force her appearance? I see the two as separate things. If FIL has no special court-filed guardianship over mad SIL, then she is kind of on her own legally, no matter where she resides, and the team should be able to bypass the FIL.
                      I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                      • Originally posted by Crabbcakes View Post
                        I am thinking about the team arriving and leaving again, and something is amiss, probably about the way I am understanding things, but here goes: the part where FIL refuses them entry I get - his castle and his right not to let anybody into it. BUT - the mad SIL is of legal age and doesn't the team have the right to somehow force her appearance? I see the two as separate things. If FIL has no special court-filed guardianship over mad SIL, then she is kind of on her own legally, no matter where she resides, and the team should be able to bypass the FIL.
                        My understanding is they didn't want to force matters that day, not that they wouldn't force matters ever. They're talking to the youngest sister to get her take on it. Oldest brother is also going to report in. Husband and I had a talk and after I threatened to call the council and get the whole place dismantled to get her out he came round. Believe me that is still an option.
                        I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                        Comment


                        • Today is brought to you by our old friend Philip Larkin and the letter F:

                          This Be The Verse
                          BY PHILIP LARKIN

                          They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
                          They may not mean to, but they do.
                          They fill you with the faults they had
                          And add some extra, just for you.

                          But they were fucked up in their turn
                          By fools in old-style hats and coats,
                          Who half the time were soppy-stern
                          And half at one anotherís throats.

                          Man hands on misery to man.
                          It deepens like a coastal shelf.
                          Get out as early as you can,
                          And donít have any kids yourself.
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                          Comment


                          • I'm guessing that there's no improvement in the current situation then, judging by the todays poem?

                            At least the hubster came round, even if it did take the threat it did! Is it still an option?

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                            • Youngest sister has made it all about *feelings* and how *special* every member of her family is in an email to everyone. Husband told me not to respond. I did. With gusto. I focused on two things: the state of mad sister and the state of the house. I very clearly stated that if this was my family rather than in laws I would have called in the cavalry years and years ago that this was not a value judgement on anyone, or the family as a whole, but that external help was clearly required.

                              I doubt FiL and MiL will ever speak to me again.
                              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                                Youngest sister has made it all about *feelings* and how *special* every member of her family is in an email to everyone. Husband told me not to respond. I did. With gusto. I focused on two things: the state of mad sister and the state of the house. I very clearly stated that if this was my family rather than in laws I would have called in the cavalry years and years ago that this was not a value judgement on anyone, or the family as a whole, but that external help was clearly required.

                                I doubt FiL and MiL will ever speak to me again.
                                It takes a bunch o guts to speak out about this kind of thing, and it is especially hairy trying to do it without making anyone feel like they are getting their toes stomped with golf shoes.... good for you for speaking up.

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