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  • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post

    As a society, I think we are having our children too late. There's such scaremongering about teen pregnancy, but who is to say that 18-25 year olds make worse parents than 40-45 year olds? I'm not convinced. My parents were calmer, certainly, and in some respects they cherished being parents more (not just age, their opportunity to parent only came after immense struggle), but there were (and are) huge downsides also - not least the awareness that they are old and ageing rapidly and the weight of their expectation, since they had invested themselves so heavily in their children's success.

    Of course, it's not as though I can reverse the direction society is going. No, not even by bucking the trend, after all, I was almost 31 when I had a child... But I can observe the changes in myself - more risk averse, less impulsive, tireder, more concerned with social climbing for my child, less fun and less creative - and mourn a little for what the children of older parents (and our society as a whole) is losing.
    I actually agree with that society is having children too late, and I adopted this view after having my kid at 29. So much less energy and much worldlier than my younger years.

    Most don't think of this though, until they have children, but you can't go back in time..

    Comment


    • Interesting discussion.

      Apparently the best age for women to have kids (physically and mentally) is age 18. But, they lack wisdom and life experience. In traditional cultures, grandparents would raise their children's kids, and that way the they get to impart their life experience onto the little ones, and the parents (who are young adults) get to mature without the stresses of raring children.

      Not possible in our fragmented Western culture, but to me that's the ideal.
      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

      - Ray Peat

      Comment


      • Interesting topic, can't really give a personal account here as I don't have kids! But, my sister had her kids across generations, the eldest who were born in her teens are a bit lost as they had little guidence due to I would say her lack of life skills, but did get to know our father, whereas her youngest two are probably getting a better start as her and her husband now have a bit more savvy and there not on the bones of their arse, alas they won't get to know our father as he went on before they were born, so they won't get his experience imparted on them.
        How she keeps up with them energy wise is beyond me, as there a bit lively, but there boys, so....

        The middle three are another story!

        So from the out looking in, I can sort of see both sides.

        And I hope the celebration was a good one.

        Comment


        • For dinner we went to the memorial gardens at the top of Mount Macedon and had a picnic - just the kind of fun, impulsive, creative thing we rarely do, because ROUTINE IS KING.

          D: frittata with butternut squash and spinach, smoked salmon, salami, stuffed pimentos

          Re ideal parenting age. There are no easy answers. And as I was pegging it to the bus station this afternoon I was wondering if, had we become parents, high school boyfriend and I would have lasted the distance. Maybe, maybe not. Children tend to do better with two parents (or rather parents tend to do better with onsite support and back up). There's a lot to be said for stability and very few of us achieve that before our mid-twenties at the earliest.

          Perhaps this has been on my mind because either husband or I am about to get snipped - we're still arguing over who will go under the knife - and although neither of us wants another child (obviously) it is quite difficult to let go of one's fertility. But, husband is 40 and I am 36. I strongly believe we are too old to have more children, at the very least having kids late in life puts pressure on them to breed early so that their children can have grandparents.

          I was a university when my last grandparent died (I only knew my grandmothers, both grandfathers died when my parents were young). That summer I felt a profound drive to have a child - there was a palpable gap in the generations that I desperately wanted to fill. The feeling passed with time, but it was overwhelming in the moment. I'm not sure how I'll cope when my parents die. I had thought I'd prepared myself for the inevitable as best I could, but Dad's stroke showed how wrong I was: I cried for days, inconsolable. I hope the small boy is a little less small and has a good ten years with them yet.
          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

          Comment


          • Today's food for thought: dandelion and orchid children/parents/families.

            B: yoghurt and coffee (back to eggs tomorrow)
            L: leftover frittata
            D: cold cuts and something - not sure what husband has planned (if anything) ETA: nope, no plans. I added mushrooms, spinach and red capsicum wilted with a dollop of wholegrain (eek! relax...) mustard

            Husband is out tonight and I'm not on bedtime duty. And it's Thursday - the week is nearly over (except I'm working Saturday). I feel tempted to have a drink...
            Last edited by badgergirl; 10-09-2013, 11:44 PM.
            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
              Today's food for thought: dandelion and orchid children/parents/families.

              B: yoghurt and coffee (back to eggs tomorrow)
              L: leftover frittata
              D: cold cuts and something - not sure what husband has planned (if anything)

              Husband is out tonight and I'm not on bedtime duty. And it's Thursday - the week is nearly over (except I'm working Saturday). I feel tempted to have a drink...
              Interesting article........ It seems that society is raising more orchids than dandelions....., which is a shame. With the way the financial climate is going, we will need far more dandelions than orchids when the defecation strikes the rotary air moving device.... the orchids are gonna be toast if the world gets really nasty. My perception may be off, as it often is, but it does seem that way to me....

              Comment


              • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                B: yoghurt and coffee (back to eggs tomorrow)
                L: leftover frittata
                D: cold cuts and something - not sure what husband has planned (if anything) ETA: nope, no plans. I added mushrooms, spinach and red capsicum wilted with a dollop of wholegrain (eek! relax...) mustard

                Husband is out tonight and I'm not on bedtime duty. And it's Thursday - the week is nearly over (except I'm working Saturday). I feel tempted to have a drink...
                Got cold cuts meself this week, slow cooked a leg of lamb on Monday, gonna be sick of lamb by the end of the week, didn't realise how big it was, it is good though!

                I presume the temptation is for something appley/grapey....

                Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                Interesting article........ It seems that society is raising more orchids than dandelions....., which is a shame. With the way the financial climate is going, we will need far more dandelions than orchids when the defecation strikes the rotary air moving device.... the orchids are gonna be toast if the world gets really nasty. My perception may be off, as it often is, but it does seem that way to me....
                You're probably not far off, on both points aa life ain't gonna get any easier that's for sure....Found the bit about the social structure of the Rhesus monkeys interesting.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                  My take: We don't get the choice over whether we have an orchid or a dandelion in our care, but either way we can create a wonderful environment for them to grow up in. Our orchid may require much harder work on our part but the rewards are also potentially much greater (for both parent and child). Either way the work is very important and fulfilling.
                  Annie Ups the Ante
                  http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

                  Comment


                  • Originally posted by Annieh View Post
                    Either way the work is very important and fulfilling.
                    Yes, indeed. I was on the bus chatting to the woman sitting next to me and she queried whether my son was 'arts' or 'science'. I was a bit taken aback - surely five is too young to pigeonhole? But she was sure, with her four, who was leaning which way. I thought a lot about this conversation later because we always say I'm words and husband is pictures, but if you looked at us more closely you might see that I'm biochem and words; he's maths, physics and pictures. We both love music, but he's more mathematically musical and I'm more emotively musical... What I'm getting at is that there are many ways to slice and dice the attributes and leanings. And five is too young to start making those divisions - they are false dichotomies anyway, usually.

                    B: two eggs scrambled with cream; coffee
                    L: two poached eggs, bacon, spinach, sausage, mushrooms (meeting a friend for lunch and I know I'm having the all-day breakfast!)
                    D: roast pork and veggies
                    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                      Got cold cuts meself this week, slow cooked a leg of lamb on Monday, gonna be sick of lamb by the end of the week, didn't realise how big it was, it is good though!
                      I always thought I didn't like lamb, but now I realise I don't like mint sauce. I like lamb if it's in a korma or a passander, with mint and yoghurt, with cinnamon and tahini, with cumin, as an iskender...basically ANYTHING other than *ugh* mint jelly/sauce.

                      Originally posted by Dhansakdave View Post
                      I presume the temptation is for something appley/grapey....
                      Yes, but I was good and abstained. Drying out is working and my little convex belly is gradually getting less rotund. Also the slight pads at the back of my hips are thinning out. I haven't measured or weighed or even tried on any of my tighter clothes, but I can just feel it's working. All the extra walking hasn't hurt either.
                      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                        Yes, indeed. I was on the bus chatting to the woman sitting next to me and she queried whether my son was 'arts' or 'science'. I was a bit taken aback - surely five is too young to pigeonhole? But she was sure, with her four, who was leaning which way. I thought a lot about this conversation later because we always say I'm words and husband is pictures, but if you looked at us more closely you might see that I'm biochem and words; he's maths, physics and pictures. We both love music, but he's more mathematically musical and I'm more emotively musical... What I'm getting at is that there are many ways to slice and dice the attributes and leanings. And five is too young to start making those divisions - they are false dichotomies anyway, usually.

                        B: two eggs scrambled with cream; coffee
                        L: two poached eggs, bacon, spinach, sausage, mushrooms (meeting a friend for lunch and I know I'm having the all-day breakfast!)
                        D: roast pork and veggies
                        Yummy food.

                        Agreed five is way too young to pigeonhole children, especially to label as "not" something eg sporty, arty, sciencey , whatever....Sometimes you can see they do have a particular talent or interest for something in particular (eg can sing in tune) but that doesn't mean that's the only thing they'll be good at or even become their major thing, there are plenty of things they haven't yet even tried.

                        Having said that, my middle daughter is just finishing a linguistics degree, she first became interested in languages at age four.
                        Annie Ups the Ante
                        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                          I always thought I didn't like lamb, but now I realise I don't like mint sauce. I like lamb if it's in a korma or a passander, with mint and yoghurt, with cinnamon and tahini, with cumin, as an iskender...basically ANYTHING other than *ugh* mint jelly/sauce.
                          Not that big on mint sauce meself, found it too sweet last time I had it as well!

                          Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                          Yes, but I was good and abstained. Drying out is working and my little convex belly is gradually getting less rotund. Also the slight pads at the back of my hips are thinning out. I haven't measured or weighed or even tried on any of my tighter clothes, but I can just feel it's working. All the extra walking hasn't hurt either.
                          If it be working, even if it only feels like it, then happy days, I blame the walking meself....

                          My best mates got a five year old and he said much the same thing to his missus, just let her learn for now.

                          Comment


                          • Yesterday small boy reached a very important development milestone...
                            His first hair dye:
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                            Comment


                            • He is too cute!!!!

                              Badger, I wanted to thank you here for all your support over the last few weeks. Your wow (words.of.wisdom) resonated deeply with me, and meant a lot. "Thanks" doesn't cut what I feel, but that's language for ya! I'm sure you understand. <3
                              "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                              In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                              - Ray Peat

                              Comment


                              • my new saying - you rock like a boulder.
                                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                                Comment

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