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waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal

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  • #76
    Gordon Bennett! Who was the kind (deranged) soul who gave my journal all those stars? Whoever you are, my vanity thanks you. I'll post my food today, because it was yummy:
    B: yoghurt
    L: calamari and salad with cooked lemons and olives. Yes, I ate the lemons
    D: porterhouse, carrots, spinach, cream; waldorf salad and green salad

    The four-layer lemon chiffon cake (6 eggs, 300g butter/sugar/flour, 1kg icing sugar, 500g philadelphia, zest of three-four lemons) was up to my usual high standards by all reports - co-worker D was very happy - but I didn't even lick the spoon! Triumph was mine (actually, I'm bored of that cake now I've made so many of them). Major brownie points from the ladies at work.

    Baking is such an easy thing to do and it wins incredible plaudits...you'd think more people would do it, but not in my office. There are perhaps three or four of us - out of nearly 50 - who are any cop at cakes. Me, she said modestly, I'm an all rounder. Ah! Except puff pastry, never been able to master that, but these days I don't make as many pies (the boys are not happy about this turn of events) so I've stopped feeling such a pastry failure (I can do a mean shortcrust, it was only ever puff that defeated me).
    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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    • #77
      Skinny trews were almost flappy today. Who'd have thunk it? The strange thing is that although my clothes don't lie, I don't feel any different from one size to another. I know I'm thinner. I can see I'm thinner, but my - what's the word for the body's sense of itself? - proprioception of my body remains constant no matter what.

      There was a time where I was actively trying to lard up. I'd wanted to look earth mothery, a Venus of Willendorf, I wanted solid and weighty thighs and a round belly. I got them too, as much as my physique will allow (I tend to look statuesque rather than round). I was 19, away from home, single and I think I wanted to feel anchored to the earth.

      More recently, whenever I've got clothes-horse skinny, I've started to feel anxious at the same time as being pleased. I think I associated thin with weak, fragile and in need of protection...I'm almost 6ft tall, I doubt I look fragile to anyone but myself. One difference with this latest dip into clothes-skinny is that I've been waggling weights. This has created a very noticeable change in my self perception, if nothing else, I don't feel weak.
      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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      • #78
        Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
        Skinny trews were almost flappy today. Who'd have thunk it? The strange thing is that although my clothes don't lie, I don't feel any different from one size to another. I know I'm thinner. I can see I'm thinner, but my - what's the word for the body's sense of itself? - proprioception of my body remains constant no matter what.

        There was a time where I was actively trying to lard up. I'd wanted to look earth mothery, a Venus of Willendorf, I wanted solid and weighty thighs and a round belly. I got them too, as much as my physique will allow (I tend to look statuesque rather than round). I was 19, away from home, single and I think I wanted to feel anchored to the earth.

        More recently, whenever I've got clothes-horse skinny, I've started to feel anxious at the same time as being pleased. I think I associated thin with weak, fragile and in need of protection...I'm almost 6ft tall, I doubt I look fragile to anyone but myself. One difference with this latest dip into clothes-skinny is that I've been waggling weights. This has created a very noticeable change in my self perception, if nothing else, I don't feel weak.
        Badgergirl, congrats on fitting into your skinny trews, and on becoming strong as well as slim. I wonder if your sense of self perception will change as this state lasts longer? I have noticed a similar experience - other people call me "tiny" or comment on the definition of my arms or waist for example (a bit cheeky, imo, I don't tend to say that sort of thing to others myself). I am kind of pleased but kind of embarrassed and don't feel like it's true, yet it probably is. Oh, and commiserations on dropping a cup size, happened to me too, it's the only drawback so far.
        Last edited by Annieh; 09-13-2012, 01:04 AM.
        Annie Ups the Ante
        http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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        • #79
          Hey badgergirl! You just rock that height - I have a girlfriend who is 6-floot even and is an awesome presence because she is comfortable at that state of tallness.

          What are trews, though?? Jeans?
          I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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          • #80
            Trousers. Not necessarily jeans, I don't think.
            Annie Ups the Ante
            http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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            • #81
              Originally posted by Annieh View Post
              Trousers. Not necessarily jeans, I don't think.
              Hi Annie and Crabcakes,
              Yes, trews=trousers, probably not jeans. I'm an odd shape or something because dress trousers are my fashion nemesis. I cannot find a pair that fit at waist, hips and are long enough that don't cut into me when I sit down...I like wearing trousers to work (no shaving required!), but always end up regretting it half way through the day - either they're too big at the waist, too short in the leg or too snug in the intimate places (when I was about to swim in the Dead Sea the tour guide warned us that the salt would sting in intimate places, he wasn't wrong). Dresses and skirts are just so much more forgiving to minor fluctuations in shape for me.

              As to rocking my height - believe me I do. I'm more than happy to wear heels and TOWER over puny humans But I also have to be aware of the intimidation effects; I'm beginning to wonder if it's counting against me in job interviews, for instance, not much I can do to mitigate this, but I suppose I'm fairly forceful too...a fatal combination when the interview panel is all male (and short).

              Being willowy rather than solid might help, I suppose. Perhaps I should practise my girlish giggle and hair twirling? (I'm much more likely to shave my head and up the butch, if I'm honest.)
              Last edited by badgergirl; 09-14-2012, 03:38 PM.
              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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              • #82
                No, please not giggly, but not butch either. What about elegant?
                Annie Ups the Ante
                http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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                • #83
                  Originally posted by Annieh View Post
                  No, please not giggly, but not butch either. What about elegant?
                  English. Tall. Silk dress. Heels. Cut-glass accent. Nah, I do elegant far *too* well. It's not working for me here.
                  I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                  • #84
                    Husband has downloaded (I operate a don't ask, don't tell policy on all media that 'appears' in our collection) Nik Kershaw, Howard Jones, Jenny Owens Young *and* Dresden Dolls.

                    Am. In. Heaven.

                    As a very misguided pre-teen I actually considered sending a full-frontal beach holiday candid shot to poor old Nik and, well, nearly 30 years later he *still* does it for me, even though I know he's short and has lost his spiky glory these days. *sigh* However, musically, Howard Jones stands up to the passage of time much better.

                    Last edited by badgergirl; 09-15-2012, 01:15 AM.
                    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                    • #85

                      Happy Saturday...
                      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                      • #86
                        Can you tell that I've been immersing myself in music? I haven't listened to this many toonz in years. And today is a mellow, calm day. We've not left the living room - small boy and man have been knee-deep in Lego all day, leaving me to daydream. No exercise, no weights, but the indoor Vibrams are still getting plenty of loving as I sit and immerse myself in the memories that surface as the songs fill my consciousness.
                        I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                        • #87
                          I was so busy this morning writing a long email - you didn't think I'd be working, did you? - that I nearly forgot to eat again. How strange. Husband has gone down with another bout of man flu, but so far small boy and I have escaped unscathed. Fingers need to stay crossed, because I do not want another round of poorliness.

                          Coworker A is back from holiday tomorrow - yay!

                          I don't know, without food and exercise to list this journal is getting even duller, I never thought it possible.
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                          • #88
                            Today I deliberately skipped lunch and it was fine: not hungry. Very strange altogether. It was wonderful to have Coworker A back and she gave me a garlic plant and a jar of beetroot chutney to say thank you for babysitting her job - she knows me well.

                            The afternoon descended into farce as Coworkers A-F critiqued an educational handout from Sex Ed Australia. All the contraceptive methods were listed along with helpful diagrams/illustrations, but for the life of us no one could make head nor tail of the illustration for withdrawal method, although we all understood the importance of the drip. The PR woman was reduced to pointing out body parts: "that bit's a hand", "that's her bottom", "see he's on top"... I, as usual, disgraced myself: "What's wrong with a nice pearl necklace?"
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                            • #89
                              Skipped lunch and walked for a full two hours today. Is this ketosis? Super strange. Coworker A is getting antsy on my behalf though and today she brought in cream for my burnt arm, which is pink and shiny. My coworkers are wonderful - I spend at least half the day laughing. That is something to treasure. I'd share the jokes, but I work in - well, bits and babies - we see a lot of photos and there are many laughs. Goodness, though, I'm glad I procreated before I saw the photos.
                              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                              • #90
                                Today clueless, inept, but spiteful line manager sailed into the office and regaled us with the dream she had last night. I'll spare you the details, but suffice to say it was clear that her subconscious was sending her a very clear signal: you are incompetent and your direct reports know far more than you do. "What can it all mean?" She asked us. "I'd really love to have it analysed." I bit my tongue.

                                Tomorrow I have an all-day meeting with my committee of bigwigs. Oh joy, rapture etc.

                                Ah! I *finally* got a rejection letter from that interview. Fuckers.
                                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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