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waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal

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  • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
    Wow Badger, how did you guys deal with this in the end? Some kids are extremely sexual (know that that's a very controversial thing to say...)
    I involved the school. I followed my plan to the letter (small boy denied touching, kissing small girl, or removing anyone's underwear, his or hers - I didn't ask him if he'd licked her vagina, did not want to put ideas into his head). We spoke to him sternly about not touching other people without permission. We said he was not to remove his undies as part of games. I told the school how we had dealt with the issue and asked them to monitor the situation.

    In response, headmaster praised me and hinted that some parents are overwrought. Also that if it didn't happen small girl should be monitored for signs of sexual interference.

    I got a second phone call from other mother where she reiterated how calm she was...not at all overwrought...no! not her...no, super calm. CALM! CALM! CALM! Hear how calm I am!!!! Then she told me about how she coaches her daughter on all the family members who are not allowed to touch her vagina...seriously. At which point I began to think perhaps small boy was in the clear after all. There's more to the story (unfortunately) and through it all our child comes out smelling of roses and the little girl is getting more and more stuff flung at her, which I feel is borderline victim blaming (this whole thing has been surprisingly triggering for me).

    It's now at the stage that the least worst option is that our child licked their child's genitals. And, honestly, if that happened, fine. All part of life's rich pageant. But it did alert me to the fact that we do need to enforce personal boundaries with small boy (who, for instance, loves to hold my breasts).
    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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    • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
      Then she told me about how she coaches her daughter on all the family members who are not allowed to touch her vagina...seriously. At which point I began to think perhaps small boy was in the clear after all. There's more to the story (unfortunately) and through it all our child comes out smelling of roses and the little girl is getting more and more stuff flung at her, which I feel is borderline victim blaming (this whole thing has been surprisingly triggering for me).
      WTF?!! Sounds like there's some issues in the other family about sex. Just a hunch, but maybe the mum was abused and is now paranoid about making her kid aware of these things. But the result is that she's actually kind of creating these situations.

      So strange how these things get passed from parent to offspring. Me and my mum have had a lot of similar experiences in that regard.
      "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

      In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

      - Ray Peat

      Comment


      • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
        WTF?!! Sounds like there's some issues in the other family about sex. Just a hunch, but maybe the mum was abused and is now paranoid about making her kid aware of these things. But the result is that she's actually kind of creating these situations.

        So strange how these things get passed from parent to offspring. Me and my mum have had a lot of similar experiences in that regard.
        I know! "Uncle Bill isn't allowed to touch my vagina..." What the ever-loving holy eff? I forbore from mentioning "wait, vagina or vulva?" But I was tempted at one point. Talk about creating what you fear.

        We've tried to be very body positive and open (I'm also lazy and a bit slutty) small boy has seen me put a tampon in, for instance (didn't realise he'd followed me in to the bathroom). But we haven't had the sex talk yet as he's never asked. I can just about imagine him pulling down a girl's knickers and licking her genital area, it's a stretch, but it's possible. Certainly, he's played show me with another little girl at her instigation, but those two also have baths together sometimes (supervised). I can't quite think that he'd care that much...he sees enough as it is!
        I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
          I know! "Uncle Bill isn't allowed to touch my vagina..." What the ever-loving holy eff? I forbore from mentioning "wait, vagina or vulva?" But I was tempted at one point. Talk about creating what you fear.

          We've tried to be very body positive and open (I'm also lazy and a bit slutty) small boy has seen me put a tampon in, for instance (didn't realise he'd followed me in to the bathroom). But we haven't had the sex talk yet as he's never asked. I can just about imagine him pulling down a girl's knickers and licking her genital area, it's a stretch, but it's possible. Certainly, he's played show me with another little girl at her instigation, but those two also have baths together sometimes (supervised). I can't quite think that he'd care that much...he sees enough as it is!
          "I think I've had my quota of nudity, thanks."

          - Said no bloke, ever

          Still though, cunnilingus is a fairly advanced version of "show me"... Would be interested to know what's going on with the little girl, doesn't sound quite right...
          "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

          In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

          - Ray Peat

          Comment


          • Originally posted by YogaBare View Post
            "I think I've had my quota of nudity, thanks."

            - Said no bloke, ever

            Still though, cunnilingus is a fairly advanced version of "show me"... Would be interested to know what's going on with the little girl, doesn't sound quite right...
            For a number of years small boy told us that he wanted to be a girl. In desperation one day I told him that he can get surgery when he's a grown up. That seems to have worn off now, but honestly - at this stage - his adult preferences are anyone's guess.

            As to what they did together in the bush (stop sniggering at the back), I doubt VERY much that him licking her was anything approaching an adult sex act, if indeed it did happen. This is the problem when people say 'vagina' to mean the whole genital area...
            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
              As to what they did together in the bush (stop sniggering at the back), I doubt VERY much that him licking her was anything approaching an adult sex act, if indeed it did happen. This is the problem when people say 'vagina' to mean the whole genital area...
              Wait... the bush is in the BACK??? wtf?

              or...

              if you'd seen her back you'd be sniggering too! man she needs a long handled razor and mirror!

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              • Originally posted by ssn679doc View Post
                Wait... the bush is in the BACK??? wtf?

                or...

                if you'd seen her back you'd be sniggering too! man she needs a long handled razor and mirror!
                The first-generation of Aussie immigrants had a similar sense of humour, I think, since the outback is full of bush.
                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                Comment


                • Head soup of the day

                  I often roast extra veggies and make soup with the leftovers, a few Christmases ago (many, since it was pre-small boy era and we used to do the catering at my parents' house - Badger Ave) we made a carrot (parsnip and butternut squash) soup with orange juice and Cointreau on Boxing Day using the leftovers from the day before (Nigel Slater's pumpkin mash recipe included so the soup also had cumin and chili onions in it). I thought it was fantastic, but husband found it far too sweet.

                  Today I was staring at the leftover roast carrots and squash together with a bag of carrots and thought...

                  Carrot, coconut and tamarind soup
                  Carrots - 15 or so (some roasted, some raw)
                  Butternut squash (about 1/4 roasted)
                  two or three garlic cloves
                  1 tablespoon of coconut oil
                  tin of coconut milk
                  2 tablespoons of tamarind paste
                  spices: I used cumin (1 tablespoon or so), coriander seed (1 tsp), cardamon seed (1 tsp), chili (sprinkle - small boy friendly), garam masala (2tsp)

                  Usual method: toast the spices (except the garam masala) and sweat the garlic in the coconut oil. Add the raw carrots. Water to cover. Simmer. Add the cooked veggies. Continue to simmer, add the coconut milk and the tamarind paste together with the garam masala. Blend.

                  The tamarind gives it a citrus punch without the sweetness of orange juice. If I had Cointreau on hand I might add a slug before serving, as it is I'll probably add a swirl of cream (coconut or cow) just to be cheffy. I should probably have added onion to the mix, but I didn't remember before adding the water.
                  I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                  Comment


                  • Soup's still going strong.

                    Husband is doing a course on counselling teens. Apparently, the worst time for any kind of brain trauma is around two years old and 11 years old - the ages I had neurosurgery and was hit by a car, respectively. When I got run over I fractured my skull, broke my arm and very nearly died (classic near-death experience). Sometimes I'm amazed I am vertical.
                    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                    Comment


                    • Fecking ell. All was going fine. I was commuting home, listening to the moogie and minding my own business, when out of the blue I was filled with a profound physical longing for Mr Bacon (as if a tide of desire had just landed CRASH on the shore), followed sharply by an anxiety attack and then a swift fall into a depression hole. I steered my feet homewards with no detours for alcohol or sugar, but ells effing bells. Why do these sudden emotional roller coasters happen? No logic, no basis in reality. I was almost in tears by the time I reached the front door.

                      Skyped my parents last night. My dad is getting a bit too fat, which is a worry. But should we be worried? He's 82 and has survived (but not thrived since) an extremely severe stroke. His ability to communicate is profoundly reduced. His mobility and fitness are less affected, but still limited. Even if it does kill him, are lunches of steak and kidney pudding and chips followed by apple pie and custard a bad thing? I'm not sure either way. Don't die yet, Dad, please. But if food is one of the few remaining pleasures in life why not feast?

                      Best friend is working three jobs, two of which are hard physical labour. She's mourning two beloved dogs, her marriage, her old life...

                      We're fun to be around.

                      Promised myself I'd do physical jerks of some kind instead of drowning my sorrows so best get off my butt and make good on my promise.

                      ETA: husband rang (he's at his course tonight), he'd hit (and presumably killed) a kangaroo. He's okay, the car's a bit dented. Those were the answers to my first two questions. My third: can you bring it home so that we can eat it? Got a chuckle and and a firm no. I've been jibbed. I've always feared hitting a roo, but also been excited about a vast amount of free meat. It's worse than when the nurses took my placenta away before I could remember to stop them.
                      Last edited by badgergirl; 04-29-2013, 02:38 AM.
                      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                      Comment


                      • Went to bed. The anxiety returned. WTF?
                        I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                        Comment


                        • And it's still going strong: the skin-crawling self-loathing, desire to disappear and general despair that I tend to associate with the very, very worst hangovers...but I haven't had a drop of alcohol for more than a week and I haven't been that drunk for a year or more, perhaps since before the gestation of small boy.

                          Brain chemistry: wtf are you doing to me?
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                            And it's still going strong: the skin-crawling self-loathing, desire to disappear and general despair that I tend to associate with the very, very worst hangovers...but I haven't had a drop of alcohol for more than a week and I haven't been that drunk for a year or more, perhaps since before the gestation of small boy.

                            Brain chemistry: wtf are you doing to me?
                            You've got "The Fear".

                            Just remember that your thoughts are probably highly irrational right now, and that it will all look better (and probably quite funny) once the alcholol leaves your system
                            "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

                            In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

                            - Ray Peat

                            Comment


                            • That's just it. No drinking. Still got irrational pit of doom and longing to take a knife to my veins. Sit it out and wait for it to go away.
                              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                              Comment


                              • Badger - pack a suitcase, get on plane, ring me when you get here !
                                I will be waiting !
                                "never let the truth get in the way of a good story "

                                ...small steps....

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