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waiting for the whoosh - badgergirl's journal

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  • Weekly shop/carb loading

    Walked for an hour and a half. There might be weights and planks later and then again...
    B: two eggs scrambled in butter, 4 walnuts
    L1: mixed roast root veg (beet, carrot, capsicum, parsnip - I think), sardines
    L2: orange slice, two melon chunks, date, blue cheese, brie, three nuts, apricot
    D: steak, carrots, capsicum, green beans
    WINE - bottle of shiraz (at this point only two glasses, but who am I trying to kid?)...ETA: yes, whole bottle, plus p'nut butter. Plus the desire to dance and be young again. Oh. good.
    There was once an episode of Spaced where Marsha went down to Threshers (off licence/bottle shop) and came back with 'the weekly shop' this rapidly entered our marital lexicon for my Friday night jaunts to score wine. If you are unfamiliar with the genius that is Spaced, I'm afraid I cannot find perfect YouTube clip to educate you, so this will have to do:

    However, youtube does allow me to share this (you probably do have to be English and understand that you are either watching the next McNulty or Prime Minister or Boris Johnson to enjoy the full awesomeness (in the true meaning: something that inspires terror/awe), but still:
    Last edited by badgergirl; 10-19-2012, 02:05 AM. Reason: excess
    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

    Comment


    • oh, really, Friday night princess?



      time. I. grew. up.
      don't wanna
      Last edited by badgergirl; 10-19-2012, 03:19 AM. Reason: added more fabulousness
      I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

      Comment


      • First birthday party for niece. We took a nice salad of spinach, beetroot, walnuts and feta. It was the only primleo thing there. I had three small slices of homemade pizza and the salad and considered I'd got off very lightly (cake, sweets, chocolates, pies). Home for a chicken drumstick in cream, leek, bacon and mushroom sauce with silverbeet in sour cream with feta and red capsicum (spanakopita without the pita). And a cheeky pear. I'm now very full. Breakfast, battling a hangover, was an apple and two eggs, scrambled in butter.
        Tomorrow I'm on the first train into the city to supervise an oral exam for the trainee doctors. It's an all-day event in a hospital. Hmmm. I'll be late home too. Suddenly time-and-a-half doesn't seem quite so appealing.
        Last edited by badgergirl; 10-19-2012, 11:57 PM.
        I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

        Comment


        • Yesterday was oral exam day for the trainees. These are the O&Gs (ob/gyns) of the near future: this exam is the final hurdle, I believe. This was my first time staffing this kind of exam. I did a written a while ago, it was held in the library which I thought was cruel: answers answers everywhere and not a page to turn. Anyway, the written had prepared me for how panicked the candidates are (they lose the ability to tell the time) and how sugar dependent, but even so yesterday surprised me.

          The exam has ten stations - rooms where the candidate faces a scenario, may include an actor, and is graded on how they respond - and outside each station is a chair and their prereading for that station. They get four minutes of reading time and then about ten minutes inside the room. My job, all day, was to check they moved on to the correct (clearly labelled, clockwise direction) station. We lost one, but otherwise all went well. I also collected the examiners' score papers from the rooms during reading time.

          I walked to and from the hospital - 35 minutes each way at a fair clip - and was on my feet all day. I also got a lot of patchwork done and got paid time and a half, but it was a long day: 12 hours including the commute. I ate primally, but excessively, and drank a lot of coffee. One of the examiners admired my needlework and suggested that I should be a surgeon. Doctors are not like us.
          I'll do that exam again, I think.

          When I got home I did another few hexagons of doom and made my wrists throb, but it seems to be coming together, hopefully...maybe.
          Last edited by badgergirl; 10-21-2012, 11:48 AM.
          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

          Comment


          • Monday was a disaster of epic binge/purge proportions. I was tired. And sore. Physically and emotionally.

            Onwards and upwards.
            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

            Comment


            • Today hasn't been primal either. This has to stop. I'm working from home tomorrow and will regroup/rethink.
              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

              Comment


              • Reasons I am old

                My grandmother remembered running outside to see the first plane (a biplane) that passed overhead and never had a landline, because telephones scared her...

                ...similarly...

                I can remember a world without the internet, when I faxed proofs, when printers supplied ozalids.

                I can remember saving money to buy a cassette album, when the non-single tracks were a complete surprise. When videos were only ever seen via the Saturday morning television.

                MTV arrived when I was in high school.

                I remember when facts were looked up in the encyclopaedia, which was a book.

                When I hand coded html and was ahead of the curve.

                I remember a different world.

                Sometimes I miss it.
                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                • We won't talk about breakfast, because it was pure and unadulterated excessive evil, but lunch was bacon and dinner was beef chili. It's back on or I am. Husband talked me down from a two-week potato experiment, but I'm still tempted.
                  In other news, we're still talking divorce. Fun, fun times. How did it come to this after years of existing in a limbo of acceptance? Suddenly, pow! We're both stunned. There has to be a way of turning the tanker back around, but we both look at each other perplexed. The tiller is unattended.
                  I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                  • We got assessed today and will begin individual therapy, probably early next year, still no sign of couples' therapy though. It's not for the sake of looking. I dunno. We might end up divorced by then...
                    I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                    • Oh Badgergirl...can't think what to say. Here's praying you both can learn to fight for your marriage. Each other is not the enemy.
                      Annie Ups the Ante
                      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

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                      • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                        There has to be a way of turning the tanker back around, but we both look at each other perplexed. The tiller is unattended.
                        There is still hope as long as neither of you has definitively jumped ship. And what is taking so long with the therapy thing? Have they no room for the two of you?? Big Hugs to both of you today - just 'cause.
                        I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

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                        • Thank you for your kind thoughts and hugs, ladies. We are going through the local healthcare system referral process, which is partly government funded, rather than private. Hence the wait, I suppose. Husband is already on antidepressants and therapy needs to be seen in that context. The mental well-being nurse's assessment of us was that we needed individual 'care plans' as this would maximise the rebate/minimise the out-of-pocket expense. Her argument was that if we could get ourselves straightened out our relationship would improve as a direct response. She also said there would be the opportunity to do couple's therapy sessions after we had both 'used up' our individual quotas.

                          She also gave us homework to help us relate to each other better. We are both very unsure about her - she seemed to get the wrong end of the stick a fair amount - but ultimately she is just the gatekeeper for referrals to a therapist. It's a very long, drawn-out process when I was looking for intense and rapid action, but we've been married ten years - the least I can do is invest some patience in the process.

                          I'm completely flat about the split/stay dichotomy. Both options seem equally appealling and repelling at the moment, it's simply a matter of where I (and husband) place my (our) energies and attentions. That said, my eating is haywire and destructive so although I feel flat and blank, clearly underneath I'm in meltdown.
                          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                          • Food compliance continues to be challenging - coworker A (team lead of the little cats of mayhem and delight) has a birthday that demanded cake and of course beaters were licked, cake mix taste-tested, icing licked off a spoon and then a slice eaten - spiced carrot with lemon cream cheese icing. However, some kind of corner has been turned and not a moment too soon as the mummy tummy and lardy thighs are back. Self-defeat is my speciality.

                            I packed liver pate for lunch, but am going out for wine instead. The pate can wait until dinner, which makes today look like this:
                            B: walnuts, two scrambled eggs, coffee
                            L: large slice of carrot cake, glass of shiraz, potato wedges (about ten), cheese, ham, the innards of a slice of quiche
                            D: liver pate, celery sticks...and a bottle of red. we all know that it's weekly shop night, right?

                            Husband and I, well, day-to-day not much changes. We did our homework, which made things worse but maybe various boils need lancing before healing can occur?
                            Last edited by badgergirl; 10-25-2012, 08:06 PM. Reason: alcohol honesty
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                            Comment


                            • Ouch.
                              Annie Ups the Ante
                              http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread117711.html

                              Comment


                              • Because I am mad and desperate and willing to try anything once, even country dancing and we don't talk about those times that were incest, I am eating potatoes. Just potatoes. The liquid component of the diet isn't quite there yet - I had milk in my tea and coffee today as well as the other half of the weekly shop, but still: the potato weeks are game on.

                                I'm reading The Marriage Plot and remembering what it was to be a thinking, cogitating, creative being. It's a very good book, but not quite good enough for me to think that the great Badger Novel doesn't have the chance to be better. Seriously, perhaps I can do better. Certainly, I can write a more beautiful sentence.

                                At the same time, my internal life is more like something imagined by Catherine M on ketamine: totally fucked and completely inert. Perhaps I need to take up streetwalking...for the exercise, if nothing else.
                                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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