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  • Just keep going!

    I've decided to start a journal on MDA to cement myself in the primal community and try to get my head around actually STAYING primal. I have been toying with primal/paleo for about a year now on my own. I've tried enlisting the help of my husband and I've tried getting my kids into primal. Neither on really worked out. I have begun to realize that if I want something done well I have to do it myself. Here I am trying to do it myself.
    There are times I feel like I have failed at being primal. I know its not a one size fits all mold and honestly I'm not really doing that bad at all. I just know I could have achieved this or that if I had done this or that differently. I try not to think that way because it just gets me down and then it makes me want to go and eat a giant bar of chocolate.
    I started this journey because I wanted to lose fat. In short I just wanted to get skinnier and this seemed like a good healthy way to do this. I had already lost 40 pounds or so counting calories and it wasn't helping me with the excess I had on my stomach. I did indeed lose fat and I got to my skinniest. I weighed 108 at my lowest last summer. (I'm 5'4) I couldnt maintain that though since I mostly got there by restricting food and exercising like a fiend. I had some muscle tone but was tired all the time.Then we went to Vegas in September and I ate everything. I don't actually have many intolerances to food. I have a slight lactose intolerance in that it makes my asthma flare up while eating ice cream but other than that my real problem is my extreme LOVE of sugar. Desserts will be the death of me. So this journal will probably be mostly about my struggles with getting my sugar cravings under control. I tried a whole30 in april but I quit that after Easter came aaound and I saw all that chocolate (90% at least). Since then I've been trying to keep a semblance of control but its been tough going. I have a problem with food obsession as well. I blame that on the calorie counting when I would define food in calorie and whether or not I ate it wasn't determined by my hunger factor or its healthfulness but by my WANT for it.

    My mom has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and I've been trying to get her into primal eating but theres really only so much I can do. I tell everyone who will listen about how I don't eat many grains because of how they're produced and how our bodies don't tolerate them well and how I try not to eat too much sugar. Then I feel like a sham because I know I will totally eat a cupcake if its presented to me. You don't have to ask twice if I want that candy...i'll take it!

    Some background: I'm 26 currently weigh 121 at 5'4, married, have 2 daughters 4 and 6yrs (not having any more despite my now desperate attempts at getting my husband to agree ;P), a tiny (90lb) chocolate lab puppy, and a guinea pig. We live in northwestern IL where the summers are hot and humid and the winters can be cold and frigid! I work at Walmart as a cashier in the evening shift while my husband works the 9-6 daytime shift at a motorcycle shop as parts manager. I'm often tired and stressed because I have high (often too high) expectations of my children and how the ought to behave. I don't get enough sleep because of the shifts I work and the times I need to get up to get everyone ready for work/school. I try to eat as primally as possible but once a week we eat dinner at my inlaws house and they don't do primal. I can usually get by though since they have a meat and vegetable (Well sort of, they use those green giant veggies steam packs with the gross sauces and stuff...ew) and only occasionally have a pasta (have you all noticed how bland and disgusting pasta is?).

    I love to go to DQ...especially since theres one right up the street....cruel world! I tell my husband not to be an enabler but I know he will give in if I tell him I want ice cream. It's unfair of me to expect him to keep me in line when I can hardly control my cravings! Anywho I'm just here trying to keep myself in line and keep in touch with others who might also be in the same place as me.

    Todays meals:
    B: 3 eggs fried in Coconut oil, Coffee with 1/2 tsp sugar and 1 tbls heavy cream
    L: 2 hamburgers with mustard and a tad of ketchup, sweet potato chips made in oven with EVOO
    S: Couple of Hard boiled eggs
    D: meatballs made in crockpot and spag sauce
    Work 730pm-12am
    15 minute core workout (gotta keep some muscles!)
    Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
    SW:176
    SPW: 125
    CW: 121
    GW:

  • #2
    Yesterday was a success! I went the whole day with only the 1/2 tsp of sugar in my coffee. I really wanted some sugar at snack time because my hard boiled eggs accidentally ended up soft boiled. ew. I will have to make some that are more hard boiled!
    This morning I'm exhausted though. Even the coffee didn't help. I know its a bad thing when I use coffee to wake myself up but sometimes its just gotta be done! I even took a nap yesterday afternoon! Unfortunately I had a steady stream of customers and was busy until 12 when I left work! I'm hoping today will be just as good a day!

    Today:
    B: 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffee with 1/2 tsp sugar and 1 T heavy cream
    L: Hamburger with mustard and ketchup, Roasted Broccoli with EVOO
    S: hard boiled eggs
    D: Crockpot BBQ chicken thighs and Broc and cauliflower with butter
    Work 730pm-12am
    20 minute upper body workout

    Side note: I did some research on MDA forums about weightlifting and found a couple forums on beginner weightlifting and personal trainers and such. A few people (ok pretty much everyone) suggested to get a book "Starting Strength" and I think theres a DVD too, to get started in that regards. I really want to start heavy lifting when I can get into a gym (hopefully in august) so if anyone has any suggestions or recommendations they are certainly welcome!
    Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
    SW:176
    SPW: 125
    CW: 121
    GW:

    Comment


    • #3
      Ok still did well on lowering my sugar. Had unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon and pecan pieces for snack unfortunately that left me wanting to eat even more sugary things but I decided against that. Today I feel kind of bloated (though I dont look it) and not very hungry. I will probably hold off on lunch until after naptime, when I'm actually hungry. I would love to eat at that time every day but that leaves me not as hungry for dinner and I tend to eat less at dinner. That would be fine if I had access to something later on in the night when I'm at work and hungry since I didn't eat a larger dinner. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe a small lunch then big dinner?

      I'm at the point in my commitment to eating primally that I think I should see results....why yes, it HAS only been 3 days. Logically it makes sense to me that I'm not going to see results for weeks or even at all (at least not big changes) but unfortunately im not a very logical or reasonable person deep down. I know that I have to commit for a good long time and not worry about "results" and just think about the long term. It's just a matter of figuring out how to make my mind believe that! It also comes down to me feeling bloated and not feeling like I look my best. I want to FEEL like I look my best! If I'm not confident that I look good no one else will see that in me either! Something to work on I suppose. I won't give in to the notion that I should change things up drastically just to get better results in a shorter amount of time that will ultimately make me feel worse. I'm just gonna keep going and everything will work itself out in the end right?....Right.

      Today:
      B: 3 eggs fried in CO, coffee with 1/2 tsp sugar and 1T heavy cream
      L: hamburger and sweet potato chips
      D: grainfree apple pancake rings and bacon.... recipe here ( Grain-Free Apple Pancake Rings | Food Renegade )
      S: (if applicable today) hard boiled eggs
      Work 7pm-11pm (yay!!!! I hate midnight shifts!)
      30 minute walk this afternoon with the kids will be a good workout today...I don't walk enough :-/
      Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
      SW:176
      SPW: 125
      CW: 121
      GW:

      Comment


      • #4
        Got my walk in yesterday before lunch and then held off on lunch until about an hour into naptime. I finally stopped feeling so icky yesterday, thank goodness! Never did get a nap in but that's ok since we went to bed "early" (haha 1130 is early for me...sad). Already today I've gotten a lot accomplished. I mowed and weed whacked our double lot. I got all sweaty and gross and STARVING so can't REALLY complain...I just hate yard work. Found 2 baby bunnies whilst mowing they were young but not in a nest so they were hopping around the yard before I shooed them out so they didnt get mowed over. Then I was mowing and in the MIDDLE of our yard theres a baby bunny nest....what kind of crazy animal digs a nest in the middle of a yard (or field or whatever) ugh. Luckily no one stuck their head out while i mowed over it (since I didnt even know it was there) so its still there and in tact.

        I think I'll force my husband and dog and kids to go on a walk after supper...he'll "love" me for it I'm sure but what do I care...I was put on this earth just to torture him daily :-D. It's working btw ::Proud:: I've still not gotten my eggs hard boiled. I'm lazy. Sigh. Oh well! Oh! the grain free apple pancake ring things I made yesterday were the bomb! (oh yeah I'm old school! haha actually just a dork!) I do recommend, though, that you do NOT use a mondoline slicer to slice your apples...when they get too thin they don't work as well. Also, the apples sort of need to be dried off a little. What I found to be most successful was to put the thinner apples on top of a pancake and push them in...my husband got the only one of those but it was reported as a success. Oh and that recipe is NOT for a 4 person family...not at all.

        Today:
        B: 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffee with 1/2 t sugar, 1 1/2 T heavy cream (I'm unoriginal if you hadn't noticed)
        L: Hamburger, applesauce with cinnamon
        S: maybe hard boiled eggs
        D: BBQ Country ribs and veggies
        NO WORK!!!!
        Workout: Mowing and Weed whacking as my arms are spent after that, 30 minute walk after dinner
        Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
        SW:176
        SPW: 125
        CW: 121
        GW:

        Comment


        • #5
          Last night my husband told me that the Vegas trip we're going on in 37 days (oh yes, I counted!) Is being pushed back a day because of the expense of the hotel in which we are staying. I'm losing it today. He is asking his boss (his work takes us to Vegas usually every year) if she will buy us cheaper tickets to get there a day early (as planned) and we will get our own hotel for that night and then meet them when they show up the next day. I really want that to happen. REALLY A LOT!!!! I have this horrible habit of getting really really excited for something to happen that isn't even set to happen and then depressed when it doesn't happen. So usually I talk myself down and say that it won't happen and get slightly depressed (while still hoping with all my heart that it does happen). This is no exception to the rule. I am absolutely stoked that it could happen, and absolutely heartbroken that it most likely won't. I'm giving myself anxiety. It's really ridiculous. Of course it could have something to do with the walk we went on last night....past DQ. Yep I had a mini blizzard. That much sugar makes me anxious the next day if I eat it too late in the night. Could have happened, I couldn't get to sleep last night either :-/ I know I sound like a crazy person, I FEEL like a crazy person!! Usually I wouldn't post this anywhere but I don't mind looking like a complete loon on here, society already thinks the people who don't eat bread and stuff are loons anyway! I feel better now though.

          Aside from the whole ice cream thing I did pretty well yesterday. Made fried apples to go with our BBQ country ribs. I make mine with apples (clearly), cinnamon, and molasses plus a little butter (course a little to me is at least a Tbls ). I'm meal planning this morning cuz I wasted too much time on MDA this week and forgot that I didnt do that...fail. I want to puke at the prospect of anything I can think to make....hooray! lol

          Today:
          B: 3eggs fried in CO, coffee w/ .5t sugar and 1.5T heavy cream
          L: hamburgers
          S: ??
          D: Brats and green beans i guess
          Work 630-11
          maybe a walk with the kids and dog.
          Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
          SW:176
          SPW: 125
          CW: 121
          GW:

          Comment


          • #6
            Meant to post yesterday but it was a busy day! I started yesterday by making breakfast and then making brownies (primal of course) for dessert at the inlaws house. then proceeded to clean the entire house because apparently it was time. I despise cleaning the house. With 2 kids its impossible to actually see the house clean because SOMEONE always gets something out in the middle of the floor immediately after I put it away. Sigh. So since my kids were staying the night at their grandparents house I got to cleaning. I vacuumed, did 2 loads of dishes in the dishwasher, cleaned all the counters and the stove, and had the kid (the one that I still had) pick up the toys It's so nice to have a clean house. It's also quiet! the puppy is passed out on the couch and I'm quietly lurking the MDA forums. Also last night after we had spaghetti for dinner at the inlaws (ugh really?) and hot fudge brownie sundaes (to which my inlaws replied that having "healthy brownies" as my youngest calls them is negated by the fact that my MIL put like a ton of hot fudge on them and everything was full of sugar but hey at least they were gluten free AND tasty!) then my husband and I dropped the puppy off at home and took a nice motorcycle ride ....to coldstone :-/. eh whatevs. I am not in denial about my sugar addiction in the least. I have an issue and I won't get to where i want with my body until I get that under control. Sometimes you have to splurge though. Ok Ok we splurge a lot. Horrible self control fail. But then we went to walmart, wandered around (because when you're a parent walmart without kids is like a vacay!!!) and got a water. then we took a nice ride home. It was beautiful and quiet ( because it was after 10pm on a sunday night lol) and I felt very refreshed. (BTW we do practice safe motorcycling by wearing full face helmets, padded jackets and gloves and jeans and shoes, I don't want my skin ripped off if we ever get into a crash because I might not be scared to die but I'm sure as hell scared of living through that!!!!)

            So overall my weekend of being primal/ paleo was really not successful but I'll live and move on because theres no reason to dwell on the past right? Right now I'm just enjoying the solitude and cleanliness of my house before the kids come back after lunch. I think I'll force my family to go on a walk after supper again because that was nice and We'll have a nice night WITHOUT ICE CREAM.

            Also I have been thinking that I should supplement some probiotics into my diet but I seriously despise sauerkraut. I bought some because I figured how bad can it be right? omg WRONG. So bad! I tried to eat just 1/4 cup of it by plugging my nose so I didn't have to smell it and maybe I could stand it. I got through it but I nearly puked by the time I was done. Do people seriously like this stuff....gross. Maybe I just didnt get a good brand but ick. Maybe one day I'll get used to it but instead I'm gonna try kefir or something else.

            Today:
            B: 3eggs friedn in CO, coffee w/ 1/2t sugar, 1T heavy cream and 1T CO
            L: brat burger
            S: blueberries with cinnamon and coconut cream
            D: brats and green beans
            No work yay!!
            Long walk after dinner with family
            Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
            SW:176
            SPW: 125
            CW: 121
            GW:

            Comment


            • #7
              ok Confession time....Yep we had moolattes at DQ last night AND didn't go for a walk. Excuse? They were 99 cent moolattes and the walk didn't happen cuz right after dinner everyone ran off to do their own thing! REALITY...I caved at the prospect of getting ice cream because my nights off are dominated by sugar and I didn't MAKE the walk happen, not that hard "everyone lets go on a walk!" boom. Walk.

              Success though for today. I got up this morning and took the kids to see a movie for cheap ($1.50 to see puss in boots. My youngest had wanted to see it since before it came out so it was worth it!). We didn't get popcorn! I love popcorn and I love love LOVE movie theater popcorn. MMMM. But I resisted because we had just eaten breakfast and we didn't NEED it. Yay me!

              Yesterday the girls didn't come home from their grandma's house until a glorious 3pm!!! I'll admit it, I was bored without kids to scold all day but it was the least stressful day I've had in a long time. Then they came home and I wanted a nap because their constant bickering makes me tired. I never got my nap . I've run out of things to ramble aimlessly about so I'll end this with a recap of today.

              Today:
              B: 3 Eggs fried in CO, coffee with 1/2 tsp sugar and 1T heavy cream and CO
              L: Brat with mustard and ketchup and 1/2 cup kefir with cinnamon and blueberries
              D: Tacos with salsa and lettuce leaves
              No work!
              walk after dinner for sure today!
              Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
              SW:176
              SPW: 125
              CW: 121
              GW:

              Comment


              • #8
                Wonderful day yesterday! With the exception of not drinking enough water (not dehydrated, I just have a set minimum I strive to drink each day...2 40 oz (i think) bottles of water). I told my husband as soon as he left work that we'd be taking a walk after dinner and that there would be no ice cream because I have been planning not to eat it (and then eating it anyway). He said I should have told him that and he wouldn't have suggested getting ice cream. Haha I already know that! I definitely have some issues in that department and I'm not so sure how to go about fixing them.

                We finally got that walk in too! Took the puppy with us and walked a bit further to look at the canal (we live very close to a manmade canal off the rock river in illinois and can actually bike over to the rock river and canal beginning, we have an awesome bike trail). Sometimes there are huge turtles so I wanted to look for some. Then we went a bit further on the trail and went to the "far park" as my youngest calls it. The girls played at the park for a bit and the dog rested. We went back home and the dog got a drink out of the drinking fountain...best doggy ever!!! I've not seen a dog drink from a drinking fountain and I thought it was the best thing EVER!! (I am very easily amused!!!). All in all it was about 1.5 hours of walking and playing together. Lovely family time and kept my mind off ice cream. Sucky thing last night though, when I went to bed I had a migraine. I wasn't even sure I'd be able to get to sleep. I think it was probably sugar related since for the last few days I had been having sugar at night and last night I didn't have any. It's gone now though so yay for that!

                Today we already have gotten our walk in, not as far as yesterday but still refreshing. Had to get it in early today though because it's supposed to get hot and I have to work tonight, bummer. I always do better with snacking and all on work nights because, though I work right next to all the candy bars and daydream about them the whole time, I don't bring money to work with me because that's dangerous...I will either buy something I know that I shouldn't be eating because it's not the best thing for me, or I will just buy frivolous things because I can. I don't think I'll be able to get a walk in tomorrow though . I really want to but in order to accomplish that I need to get up probably around 6am and walk with just me and the dog. I have to work till 12am tonight so I don't see that happening at all.

                Today
                B: 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffee with 1/4 tsp sugar and 1T heavy cream and CO
                L: Leftover taco meat with romaine leaves, salsa, little bit of sour cream and cheese, and avocado
                S: hard boiled eggs
                D: hamburgers with bacon, sauteed broccoli and cauliflower with butter on top
                Work 730pm - 12am
                45 minute walk this morning
                Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                SW:176
                SPW: 125
                CW: 121
                GW:

                Comment


                • #9
                  Yesterday I got a full 3 bottles of water in! It's been awhile since I did that! I need to keep it up! I would have gotten more in but I don't like the water in our walmart so I went the last 2 hours without being able to drink anything (don't worry, I tried to get a drink several times even though there was nothing in the bottle )

                  Today is gonna be a hot gross day. Heat index of 110 and whatnot. I've already told the kids that we are not going outside at all! Too hot and humid and not breathable air! I feel very lucky to have central air in our house!

                  I've been cutting down on the sugar in my coffee. I'm down to about 1/4 tsp now I also started adding Coconut oil because I hear it helps with digestion and stuff. Also my kefir has been going well. I do wish I could have some kind of flavored kefir but I know those are full of sugar so I stick with my unsweetened plain kefir. I really want to do water kefir but am nervous to try it. I've been trying to get some random exercising in, like squats and a few attempts at pullups every now and then. I really need to implement the 10 squats everytime I go to the bathroom because I would get a TON in that way!

                  Today:
                  B: (as if it ever changes) 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffee with 1/4t sugar and 1T CO and heavy cream
                  L: Taco salad (meat, avocado, salsa, romaine leaves, cheese)
                  S: Kefir and hard boiled eggs (not together...ew)
                  D: grassfed chuck roast, brussels sprouts bathed in pasture butter
                  Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                  SW:176
                  SPW: 125
                  CW: 121
                  GW:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I didn't do AS well yesterday with the water, though I didn't do bad either. I got 1 3/4 bottles in and I think that's about right. I didn't walk yesterday as it was HOT HOT HOT and humid with heat indexes of 112 and up, It was cooler in Vegas than it was here!!! (Oh yeah I have bookmarked Vegas in my weather channel app because I'm a crazy person ) I also drink way more when I'm working. I did however make ice cream last night. While not the BEST choice (shouldn't have eaten anything) I made it myself so I knew exactly what was in it. I used coconut milk and an egg yolk and cocoa powder and (too much) sugar. I would have used less sugar had it been just for me, but it was for my husband and I and I always feel bad making him eat something I know he probably doesn't like. Oh well it was pretty good and next time I will make him and the kids their own and me my own

                    I was going to go on a walk this morning, it was nice out and I figured if we could get out and back before 930 we could beat the heat (another heat advisory today) since it wasn't sunny when I got up. Yep it's raining and thundering. We need the rain but hey couldn't it have rained at 10? By the time it stops raining it will probably get sunny and then be really humid. Oh well.

                    My dinner plan is roasted chicken, I didn't anticipate the heat advisory I will just have to deal though since I don't have anything else for dinner!!

                    Also I calculated my calories for yesterday, they were a bit high because I over estimated on some things and we had chuck roast which according to my calorie counter thing was about 550 calories(!) I ate about 1750 before the ice cream (oops) So now I wonder what I SHOULD be eating. I also only had about 30 grams carbs. I am not trying to be low carb or even VLC because they don't work well for me. I think that's what makes me turn to sugar. I can't blame it ALL on that (I like my sugar...addiction ya know) but i think it makes a difference. I usually get sweet potatoes to eat with lunch to bump up my carbs but I forgot this week

                    Today:
                    B: 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffee with 1T heavy cream and CO
                    L: Leftover chuck roast
                    S: Kefir and 2 HB eggs
                    D: Roasted chicken and veggies
                    Work 730pm-12am
                    Squat, pushup, pullup, plank workout
                    Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                    SW:176
                    SPW: 125
                    CW: 121
                    GW:

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      So today I am completely and utterly DRAINED. I don't understand why!!! Could be any number of things...too few carbs on a daily basis, not enough sleep (work late get up "early"), too much stress (there were storms last night and I have some anxiety issues when it come to it storming), or what? I feel slightly better now that I ate lunch. I wanted to wait until i felt hungry but I couldn't stand it and went ahead and ate anyway. Plus I haven't been getting my naps in, I lay down and try to sleep but I just can't get there! I feel physically tired and mentally tired. I feel like I could just pass out on the floor but when I lay down I can't sleep (unless its night). I think I'll try putting the curtains over the window to make it darker in the room and hopefully get to sleep easier (or at all).

                      Went grocery shopping today and made sure to get sweet potatoes and lots of fruit to help me get more carbs and hopefully crave sugar less. I'm slowly working my way to drinking black coffee in the morning as well! I got organic half and half (gross its like water!) because they didnt have the heavy cream so It will help out a tad in that regard as well.

                      Yesterday I checked out what an online calculator said my BMR was and it said it was 1352...seriously? I know I should probably be eating around 1500 to maintain then since I don't just lay in bed all day. I suppose from calorie counting I feel like 1500 isn't that much food but it kinda is quite a bit if you're eating mostly meats and vegs. It's the spoonfuls of CO killin me though.

                      Today:
                      B: 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffe with 1T CO and heavy cream
                      L: Leftover chuck roast, Kefir with 1/2 peach
                      D: fried chicken and veggies
                      S: (if im hungry like i was last night after work) Hard boiled egg
                      Work 630-11
                      Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                      SW:176
                      SPW: 125
                      CW: 121
                      GW:

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Saturday got better when I ate lunch and then after I took a nap in a dark room without the fan on. I used to like ambient noise while sleeping but now I think I do best without noise, which might be why I'm so tired lately since we have the fan on all night.

                        Sunday was a nice day too! Went to Village Inn for breakfast, made ok choices but should have stuck with just meats and eggs. Had a strawberry crepe with my eggs bacon and hashbrowns. I'm really ok with it though because we don't generally go out for breakfast but once or twice a month max. Then we came home and lounged for awhile. My Inlaws got an above ground pool (just 14' but way better than the 6' kiddie pool!!) so we rushed out to go to the mall and get a few things I need for Vegas (in 29 days eek!!!!) then picked up the dog and went to get into the pool! They had just filled it saturday night so it was COLD. I spent a lot of time paddling around in a circle while my youngest sat in a raft and shivered. We had tons of fun and I only got a tiny bit pink, most of my "burn" is on my face since I already had a nice base tan (been working on that for vegas and I have a wedding to go to in September). We will definitely be spending at least 2-3 days a week playing in the pool there!

                        Dinner there was pulled pork sandwiches, potato salad and french fries along with a few slices of tomato. EESH. I'm not gluten intolerant so eating the bread wasn't a problem for me (except it tastes like flour to me now...just straight flour that sticks to my tongue) I just wasn't happy about the choices I guess. I do have some guilt about not eating "perfectly", as if some people will condemn me for not being a perfect little angel. I am human and I don't react to gluten or things like that. I try to refrain from eating that stuff because I don't agree with the chemical aspect of how its grown and manipulated to grow better. Like other area in my life though (my self consciousness) I have to remember that other don't really care how I live my life. Those who wish to condemn me will do so on their own time and will probably have some sort of thoughts about how they don't do as well as they say.

                        Also we had awesome dessert of Texas Sheet Cake. MMMM. Love me some sugar! Oh, that was all after our afternoon snack of whiteys ice cream. Eh, whatcha gonna do? I also had a small glass of margarita mix (with tequila in it). BAD BAD choice. I don't react well with tequila. It alters my mental state tremendously. I get hungover from just one margarita. I've only ever had one "real" margarita....the morning after (only one mind you) I had the most HORRIBLE hangover. So last night I was a blubbering mess about how I didn't look good in a picture my MIL took of the pool that I happened to be in. It was nice to get it out (though I wish I could appropriately express how I feel about it to my husband) because I know that its how I actually feel deep down, I try to express a positive image though since I know this journey shouldn't be about looks. Unfortunately for me right now it is a bit about looks. I feel good and I want to look good. I'm trying to get into a gym to do heavy lifting to help build muscles and hopefully change my body in the process. Waiting has proven difficult though. Anyway yesterday looked like this:

                        B: 2 eggs over easy, maybe 1/2 cup hashbrowns, 2 pieces of bacon and one strawberry crepe, with 2 (tiny) cups of coffee, 2 half and half "serving cups" and one packet of sugar
                        L: hamburger with ketchup and mustard
                        S: sugar cone with one scoop chocolate PB revel ice cream (worth it)
                        D: Pulled pork on a bun (ick), home made potato salad, 10 french fries, 2 slices tomato, small glass margarita mix
                        S: Texas sheet cake (2.5" square) 2 hard boiled eggs later on at night

                        Could be worse, could be better. It's been worse so I'm not really complaining. Today we're spending the day recovering from sun and swimming (and alcohol). Napping, laundry, just generally trying to take it easy before the holiday.

                        B: 3 eggs fried in CO, Coffee with 1T CO and heavy cream
                        L: leftover chuck roast, green beans, kefir with blueberries
                        D: peach chicken salad with spinach salad
                        S: banana, Hard boiled eggs
                        Work 730pm-12am (busy holiday week plus beginning of month food stamps)
                        moving slowly and resting up
                        Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                        SW:176
                        SPW: 125
                        CW: 121
                        GW:

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                        • #13
                          Late post but today my mom came to visit me and the girls and we went shopping for a bit then had subway (yeah I did have a sandwich but had water and no chips or cookies) then went swimming at my MIL's house for a few hours...she didnt have sunscreen and we got there about 1 in the afternoon. I am burnt. I plan on swimming today, tomorrow and thursday, plus some on sunday too. Will definitely be getting some sunscreen for wearing. I'm thinking 30 spf should be good. Plus planning on not swimming until after 2-230 when we do go because then the sun won't be as high and won't be as apt to burn us. Despite the whole eating bread thing (ugh) and getting burnt it was a good day!

                          B: 3 eggs fried in CO, coffee with heavy cream and CO
                          L: subway sandwich (ham, cheese, pickles, lettuce and mayo) water
                          S: popsicle at MIL's, hard boiled egg, kefir with blueberries
                          D: Brats, veggies with butter
                          Work 730pm-12am
                          swam in pool, doggy paddling kicks my butt!!!
                          Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                          SW:176
                          SPW: 125
                          CW: 121
                          GW:

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                          • #14
                            Oh my. I've not written for days!!! It's been a busy time around here. The fourth was full of family time in the pool at the in laws, hamburgers, cake and then work. Yesterday My husband took a vacation day so we spent time together, went to the inlaws pool, ate brats, apple pie and ice cream, picked up my grassfed meat csa, swam more and then crashed at about 11.

                            Today was a pretty good day! I got my new books in the mail!!! Amazon said they weren't coming until tuesday! I got "You Are Your Own Gym" by Mark Lauren and "It Starts With Food" By Melissa and Dallas Hartwig. I immediately plowed into the book by Lauren because I wanted to see if it was worth it plus I plan to start his program on monday! I'm trying to decide whether to start in on ISWF now or wait until the plane ride. I think I'll spend the weekend reading Laurens book a couple times and pounding it in then start on ISWF.

                            Other than that I have done pretty well with food, occasional ice cream late nights and not eating enough while swimming 3 days in a row, otherwise good stuff!

                            Today:
                            B: 3 eggs fried in CO, coffee with 3/4t sugar, 1T CO and Half and Half, 1 T whipped cream (oops...)
                            L: 2 hamburgers, half avocado, bowl of kefir with a whole banana and some blueberries
                            D: hamburgers, broccoli and cauliflower with butter
                            S: hard boiled eggs after work I think
                            Work 730pm to 12am
                            rested today and took a nice long nap
                            Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                            SW:176
                            SPW: 125
                            CW: 121
                            GW:

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                            • #15
                              I'm ready for the heat to break. I'm irritable today. Exceedingly so, in fact. I had to mow the lawn this morning because Our weeds (the only things growing since most of our grass is dead) were getting pretty tall and I didn't want someone to complain and call the community services officer (again...yeah someone complained about our weeds, that werent very tall but I'll admit that they needed mowed) So I hopped onto our mower at 9AM trying to get it over with ASAP. The dang thing needed gas. I had to get the kids ready and into the car to drive 6 blocks to the gas station and get 5 gallons of gas and go home and mow the outside of the yard. UGH. I spent about 45 minutes outside, in the 90 degree heat at 9AM, and the 55% humidity. Now I'm just angry, hungry, hot and want everyone to leave me alone.

                              Good thing though is that we went and got all the school stuff for the kids. They have registration and physicals on Monday. I like to get all their school stuff as soon as it comes out so I don't have to worry about it later on. Then we went to the library and they got books.

                              Today:
                              B: 3eggs fried in CO, coffee with 1/2t sugar, 1T CO and Half and Half
                              L: Hamburger, veggies, kefir
                              D: Steaks, veggies
                              S: Hard boiled eggs
                              Work 630pm-11pm
                              Striving to be a better, healthier, Stronger me!
                              SW:176
                              SPW: 125
                              CW: 121
                              GW:

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