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Skinny girl to fat girl and back to skinny girl - for life

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  • I get that now... for some reason I thought you were talking about the anxiety being nothing. Glad everything checked out ok.
    Primal since March 5, 2012
    SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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    • I'm back

      It seems like everyone is Ďhackingí Primal/Paleo these days. I havenít been since Primal pretty much works for me. However I am experimenting and changing up some things. Mostly because Iíve gotten sloppy. Pistachios are my nemesis and I just canít have them in the house. I cave to mindless eating when they are around. My recent bad digestion might have something to do with eating too many of them, so after this bag is gone, no more. Yesterday was the first day I can remember not eating any. Seriously. There are still a few left, but Iím doing my best to stay away from them. Tough when I work from home and they whisper my name.

      Ugh. So thatís one change. Stop the mindless eating. Hunger is not necessarily a bad thing and I should really live with it more, not eat the minute my stomach growls. No more pistachios. Another is dairy. I havenít eliminated it, but I have cut back to see if that also improves my digestive issues. Yeah, eliminating the nuts and the dairy simultaneously is probably dumb, but I plan to add back some dairy over time and see what happens. Mainly itís cheese, which I love. And plain greek yogurt with the highest fat content we can find. Cream in the coffee is still there, but I use less of it these days.

      The driver for this change is that I canít seem to get this last 10 pounds off me. Jiggly thighs and a bit too much fat on the stomach. Sure, I can probably survive at 155, but I would like 145 so some experimentation is needed. Mindless snacking because the food is Primal is one thing Iím cutting out. Iíve got to bring back exercise, too. After wrecking my shoulder doing kayak rescue drills, it is still painful every day. Itís been over 2 months and I still donít have anywhere near full range of motion and so I donít dare lift, which leaves me nothing to do but squats and I havenít been going to the gym or doing them because it seem so stupid to go and do one thing. Squatting here would mean using way less weight, but I probably should give it a go anyway.

      Walking has fallen by the wayside, too. Mostly because itís been unbearably hot or raining or both pretty much all of July. Iím lucky if I walk 4 miles in a week. And kayaking once a week isnít enough either. Maybe Iíll add some sprints in. I used to jump rope for those and I canít see how that would bother my shoulder so...

      Another bit of backsliding is our nearly nightly wine with dinner. Mostly itís been me opening a bottle or having a PDD and that leads to more wine with dinner. But a couple weeks ago I stopped doing that. Itís a silly habit and not necessary. The PDD anyway. Wine with meals is terrific and civilized, but not totally necessary with every meal and thatís what was happening. So I stopped initiating the drinking. Unfortunately, my husband is an instigator and when he opens a bottle I just canít say no. Like the Malbec we had with our steaks last night. Who can say no to Malbec? Anyway. I think this is part of why I canít shed the last 10 and so Iíll have to put a stop to a lot of the wine with dinner. It will hurt, but maybe once the pounds are gone, I can add it back.

      So thatís whatís been on my mind. My dedication to living Primally is still intact. I play. I use my head. I have been sleeping better. Exercise and diet need some shoring up though and so I plan to post a bit more about how thatís going. Still no scale at home, but I still do have some shorts from many moons ago that I aspire to wearing again. Luckily I donít seem to have gained any weight and my health continues to be good apart from the wrecked shoulder. Thanks for peeking in and reading. Iím really a bad blogger, aren't I?
      5' 9" 47 YO F
      PB start June 2, 2012
      Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
      Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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      • Oh and I've started another asthma med experiment, too. I haven't taken any advair since the 22nd. Just to see how long I can go without symptoms. I have advair waiting in the wings should I need it, but so far it's been ok, humidity and all. My nose has been bothering me though and I've had to take some meds there so I won't have to reach for the tissues all the time. Bah. If it's not one thing it's the other.
        5' 9" 47 YO F
        PB start June 2, 2012
        Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
        Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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        • Did you know dairy has been linked to asthma? You might find total abatement of your symptoms when you eliminate the dairy in your experimenting.

          Additionally, I'd recommend getting your shoulder looked at. A good physical therapist can have it back in shape in no time.

          Have you looked at Nutritional Ketosis as a way to shed those last 10? I think you'd be a great candidate for it b/c you have the discipline and mental fortuitiveness to stick with it. The Eating Academy | Peter Attia, M.D. The Eating Academy | Peter Attia, M.D. is a great place to read more about it.
          Primal since March 5, 2012
          SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



          Comment


          • Did you know dairy has been linked to asthma? You might find total abatement of your symptoms when you eliminate the dairy in your experimenting.

            Additionally, I'd recommend getting your shoulder looked at. A good physical therapist can have it back in shape in no time.

            Have you looked at Nutritional Ketosis as a way to shed those last 10? I think you'd be a great candidate for it b/c you have the discipline and mental fortuitiveness to stick with it. The Eating Academy | Peter Attia, M.D. The Eating Academy | Peter Attia, M.D. is a great place to read more about it.
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



            Comment


            • That's interesting and I hadn't heard it. Or maybe I have. Just about everything on earth has been linked to asthma, but if cutting back on dairy helps, well I'm good with that. I did have some cheese the other night. I caved. Still no asthma symptoms.

              And I'd be surprised if I wasn't in ketosis a lot of the time. I hardly eat much in the way of carbs. Maybe now I'm out more because fruit is in season and I eat that daily, but in winter when there's no fruit, carbs are wicked low. I haven't really put a number on it though. Probably the booze breaks the cycle more than anything else I eat. And those insidious pistachios. lol.

              So right now I'm starving. Hunger pangs. Loud stomach. But I'll wait another hour or whenever it will be that husband makes dinner. Lunch was light on the fat, so I think I need to incorporate more, but I'm not really sure how other than eating eggs or guacamole or straight butter or something. My midday meal just doesn't hold me until dinner. Then again, being hungry for a couple hours isn't the end of the world.

              Walked 5 miles yesterday. Weather allowing I'll probably go walk 3.5 tomorrow morning before heading out for appointments.

              not sure about physical therapy. I've been through it countless times for this and that and don't think any of them have ever really helped. I think I'd have done just as well without them. Eh. I don't know.
              5' 9" 47 YO F
              PB start June 2, 2012
              Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
              Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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              • walked today. I think it's 3.5 miles. Takes me like 50 minutes, so that's about right.
                bacon and eggs, coffee and a few cherries (like 7).
                now off to a meeting and a few errands.

                have more thoughts rolling around in my head about my laxity. No time to get them down yet though.
                5' 9" 47 YO F
                PB start June 2, 2012
                Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


                PB Journal

                Comment


                • I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
                  Primal since March 5, 2012
                  SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                  Comment


                  • So whatís been rolling around in my head?

                    Here we go. I promise to try to make you laugh a little. Well, Iíll try.

                    Booze is definitely a problem. Am I an alcoholic? I donít think so. Drinking doesnít interfere with my life. No jobs or interpersonal relationships were lost because of alcohol. I donít drink and drive. I donít drink and work. I donít drink and kayak. I was at a party on Sunday afternoon and there was plenty to drink. I didnít.

                    Lately though, I have been drinking almost daily and I did when I got home from the party when it was after 5:00. When I donít drink itís definitely a choice I think about. It isnít like drinking is something I donít think about (and Iím talking wine here during the week, Iím not passed out with a 5th of Jack!). It is. When cocktail hour rolls around I think about it. Sometimes I think about it earlier than that and wonder what Iíll have. Last night I skipped it and we had water with dinner which was fine and I donít get the shakes or anything. It is part of our consciousness though and I donít know how much that has to do with weekday drinking and how much we allow it to happen. In the years leading up to going Primal, when I'd basically given up on my weight, I had a beer almost every night with a snack. At first it was just one or two days a week which turned into 5. The beer is gone, but oh how easily I replaced that with a glass of wine.

                    The thing of it is, we are never drunk. A little tipsy sometimes (and thatís rare now I think about it), but really I canít say that itís an overwhelming feeling of inebriation. Just a little mellowing. And our heads for alcohol are pretty steady. I can drink a fair amount and not show or feel any effects. A whole bottle of wine will knock me back a bit, but a half? Nope. Would I be impaired from a legal perspective. Yes, surely, but it doesnít seem to interfere with thinking, reading, writing or anything else Iím doing (not driving people, not driving) so I guess my tolerance is pretty good. Lots of practice.

                    Back when husband and I first met, we didnít drink during the week at all. If it was a gym day there was no booze. Fridays included. We kept this up even while starting our love affair with mid-coast California wines. No matter how many cases we accumulate (and itís about 10-12 in the house pretty much all the time), we didnít drink on Friday nights. Maybe 10 years back, that changed. In the last say, 5 years, weíve been known to open bottles every night. That little habit has just got to stop. It isnít necessary to have wine with every dinner. Oy.

                    Phew. Thatís the first time Iíve ever written about that. I still donít think we have a problem in the sense that weíre alcoholics, but I do think weíve excused our behavior because it didnít prevent us from reaching our goals. At least it wasnít. With him, itís easier. He dropped his weight all the way down to where he wants to be really fast. Ectos have it so easy. Oy. Me on the other hand, Iím still waiting for those last 10 pounds to go. I think the booze has been a major stopper so Iíve got to put my foot down about it.

                    With food I think it has to do with excusing behavior because itís basically Primal or could kinda be. My pistachio addiction is a perfect example. A year ago when I switched to Primal eating, I threw away my snacks. Cheez-Its. Chips & Salsa. Triscuits. Stuff like that is clearly out of bounds and I had no problem ditching it. The actual problem is that I didnít ditch my snack habit, I only replaced what I was eating with things that are Primal. Nuts and cheese basically. Both of those are totally acceptable on this plan. I conveniently 'forgot' that with this new level of nutrition and satiety, I wouldnít really need to eat those things for any physical reason. A couple hours of hunger are not going to kill me and, other than my stomach growling, I have no physical symptoms. No light headedness or anything like that. Mindless eating. I know thereís a lot floating out there about this, but thatís how I view my own problem with eating for eatingís sake. I excused myself because hey, I donít have to watch how much I eat of something thatís Primal.

                    Bull. I do.

                    Same goes with the lack of exercise. A lot of people starting out on this program flat out canít exercise and they still lose weight. I cut back on some exercise and increased others, but I still lost weight. I think we focus on the eating piece because itís the most visible and the most controversial. Exercising, well thatís pretty normal. Granted the amount and type proscribed by Primal is different, but hell, everyone knows you have to do it a little. And thatís kinda what happened with me - I only did a little. I can perfectly maintain my weight loss of 25 lbs without exercise. I just canít drop any more weight. I think along with the food and booze issue, lack of exercise has been a contributor to my plateau.

                    My wrecked shoulder isnít helping though and I canít do anything involving upper body. I need to rehab and heal, really. Connective tissue is such a bitch to heal though. Especially those pesky ligaments. Very little blood flow there so they take forever. I need to buckle down and do some light strength and range of motion work. Basically my own physical therapy. Itís just NOT going to get better magically and Iíve been avoiding that reality. Laziness. Thatís my big problem.

                    And youíd think on this program Iíd have it pretty easy considering I donít have to kill myself to lose weight or maintain the loss. That the minimal effort I do have to put in would be ok with me. But like most humans, I let things slide if I can. Just that now, I canít.

                    So thatís whatís been rolling around in my head. I donít think I got many laughs, but thanks for reading it. I have to tighten things up a bit and quit the weekday drinking, keep from snacking unless I canít get to my next meal at all or that next meal is many hours away. Exercise has to ramp up and shoulder therapy has to begin.

                    Oh and on a lighter note. I was doing a bit of shopping today and in a sale rack I found a Calvin Klein dress I really liked. And yes, I do make this exact same expression while wearing it. LOL.


                    Size 8. Oy. Borderline. Tried it on and itís freaking perfect on me. I have an event I need to be a part of in August and it will be perfect. So yay for me a little.
                    5' 9" 47 YO F
                    PB start June 2, 2012
                    Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                    Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                    • Yay for you a lot!

                      Same exact thing for me with the drinking! The biggest issue I have with it is that when I start drinking I often don't make good food choices (at parties and gatherings is when this is a problem). But dang-it-all, I really enjoy it! I fully plan to make moderate, controlled, alcohol consumption a part of my "skinny: life, once I get there. Until then I have some rules. Here are mine.

                      1. I never drink alone, ever.
                      2. When out, I never have more than two drinks.
                      3. I only drink with a meal, no going out just for drinks.
                      4. After whatever meal I am having drinks with, I don't eat for the rest of that day, at all. So if I have drinks with lunch, I don't eat dinner. (I am doing IF regularly).
                      5. I drink no more than 2 days each week and I avoid having them on days in which I work out.

                      I would like to say I have been very strict with these, but that wouldn't be true. I have been doing them better as time goes on though.

                      I am also dealing with shoulder issues. Some moderate controlled exercises for rotator-cuff injuries have helped me, but it does take time.

                      Best of luck!
                      Height: 5' 10"
                      Starting Weight: 292
                      Starting Primal Weight: 275
                      Current weight: 224
                      Goal weight: 172
                      Body Fat 30.5

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                      • What a nice dress. I like it.

                        As for the drinking - I hear what you're saying - drinking nightly isn't a problem from a MEDICAL standpoint (medical meaning alcoholism being a mental health issue) but from a WEIGHT LOSS standpoint. Makes perfect sense to me. In our society, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying wine with dinner. But from a weight loss standpoint, it's probably not the ideal. I completely get where you're coming from. Same with the primal snacks. I did the same thing - still do. I don't have to count calories b/c everything is primal, but that certainly doesn't mean I need to eat everything I come across that fits the primal guidelines. All good points. Thanks for sharing.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • Thanks guys.

                          Weight loss is still my goal and so yeah, drinking alcohol is not helping to reach that goal. I like your rules DCarr. Those are some good guidelines and I hope they help you. I just have to put on my big girl dress and cut it out. No alcohol last night either and no snacking. I just went hungry and then inhaled my dinner.

                          Oh and my no athsma medication experiment came to halt yesterday afternoon, so basically I made it a week. And my allergies are now kicking my ass. Runny nose. Itchy eyes. The whole deal. Misery. I think that the advair in my system keeps these symptoms at bay so it does double duty. I guess that's going to be a constant for me, but at least I have it. Big pharma may be evil in some ways, but damn if I don't love advair.
                          5' 9" 47 YO F
                          PB start June 2, 2012
                          Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                          Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                          • So yesterday we had malbec with steaks (it wasn't as good as the other one though). Husband seems to really like this combo and so it was his idea. Why I imbibe is a bit clearer now - I'm afraid to bring it up to him that I don't want to drink during the week because it makes me look like a failure. At least in my head it does. I don't want to admit this weakness so I just join him. Lame? Yeah. Kinda. So I had wine last night.

                            I didn't snack though. And the pistachios are GONE! So that's one less thing for me to worry about.

                            Walked 3.5 miles this morning.
                            5' 9" 47 YO F
                            PB start June 2, 2012
                            Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                            Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


                            PB Journal

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                            • Could you drink less wine? Instead of two glasses, have one? Or instead of a full glass, have half?
                              Primal since March 5, 2012
                              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                              Comment


                              • Yeah, I could, but no matter how little I drink it disrupts ketosis/gluconeogenesis so to my mind, it doesn't matter. In for a penny, in for a pound, you know?

                                Am I making excuses for my weakness? Yeah. I think so. I should just be a big girl about it and ask Ken not to open wine during the week. But that would keep him from enjoying something that doesn't keep him from his goals. That's not fair. So...I'll just do the best I can.

                                One of my customers told me today that he doesn't think I need to lose any more weight and so it was a nice thing to hear. I still want to though. lol. Wimmins is never satisfied, right?

                                Baby steps though. Back off the wine. Quit the snacking. Up the exercise. Those are all doable. And if they're not enough, well then I'll have to find another solution.

                                On another positive note, my digestive issue seems to be gone. It was bad for about a month, but now I'm doing well and my previous regularity is back. I think it might have been the pistachios since I still have cream and yogurt regularly. No cheese in days though so we'll see what happens if I add it back.
                                5' 9" 47 YO F
                                PB start June 2, 2012
                                Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                                Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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