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Skinny girl to fat girl and back to skinny girl - for life

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  • Sorry about the weight gain, Jenn. A bit more vigilance and I bet it won't happen anymore. I know I paid for my slip. Not again.

    Things seem to be back to where I was before the no-exercise/restaurant food period. Ugh. I was so bloated and just felt gross. The unwearable pants are back to just being tight now. Another 5lbs gone and they'll fit. Had on some of my size 10 Eddie Bauer cords from years ago and they were actually loose. My stomach was as flat as it has been in recent memory. I was out seeing customers and felt very good.

    As I thought it might happen, I ran into my old boss at one place I was at. I've known this guy since 1993 when we were both in our 20s. We've worked together at a couple of companies, but I haven't seen him in 4 years or so and boy, did he get fat. Like pretty much everyone on a SAD diet, his weight has been creeping up. Mine did, too. His wife is a vegetarian (at least she was the last time I knew) and so he probably has a SAD diet combined with vegetarian soy substitutes plus covert burger-scarfing going on. Result? Big soft face, moobs and a gut. And he used to be pretty hot.

    I'm basically the same weight I was the last time we worked together. Maybe about 10lbs lighter now I think of it. I was at my size 12 days then and now size 12 is too big. So I'm really back to a weight from the late 90s/early 00s. Nice. I know it's vain, but dammit I look good. Gray hair and all. At least he didn't go back home, talk to Jen about running into me and say how fat I got.
    5' 9" 47 YO F
    PB start June 2, 2012
    Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
    Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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    • Originally posted by June68 View Post
      At least he didn't go back home, talk to Jen about running into me and say how fat I got.
      That does feel good, doesn't it?

      I saw someone yesterday that I haven't seen in a while and she asked if I'd lost weight. I didn't expect her to say that b/c when I worked with her, I was still over 200, but wearing the same clothes I am now (except now they're loose rather than tight). We talked a bit about weight loss, but not about technique (thankfully b/c I don't like sharing how I do it b/c it always leads to a close-minded discussion).

      Congrats for being able to wear pants from so many years ago!!
      Primal since March 5, 2012
      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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      • It does I must say even though it's kind of vain. But having other people notice your hard work is so rewarding...congrats on turning some heads.

        Basically I just popped in to put this video somewhere. It's so hilarious. Esp that when she asks what's the worst thing that can happen to a person, she's reading The Trial. In.fla.mation!



        So it's March and March makes me start to think of my cold, frozen, lonely motorcycle. With a bit of trepidation I tried on my leathers remembering that the last time I rode I couldn't button the pants and had to ride with them unbuttoned. And that they were so tight in the thighs they were uncomfortable. Oh and even my boots I could barely strap around my calves (granted, they are men's boots and men usually have way skinnier calves than women). Well what do you know...I can almost take them off while zipped and buttoned now. Holy shit. I mean...how the hell fat was I when I bought them? Leathers have to be a bit roomy in order to ride, move and be comfortable. When I first wore them I needed suspenders to keep them up because they fit everywhere except the waist, now even with suspenders they're ridiculous looking. The jackets still fit though so that's good and maybe I can sell them since they're not really beat up.

        sigh.

        Vanson, here I come.
        5' 9" 47 YO F
        PB start June 2, 2012
        Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
        Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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        • So in the interests of doing new things and keeping life fresh and vibrant, I did two of them today.

          First I went to the gym. I'm not a stranger to the gym, but we have become estranged if you know what I mean. From about 1994 to 2006 I was very active at the gym. I went 5 days a week to do cardio and weights. My husband and I met at the gym. Eventually I got pretty strong, but also kept putting on weight no matter how much cardio I did. You know the story...and I quit.
          Now I'm back and am going to work in 2-3 days a week doing major movement lifts like squats, chest press, deadlifts, bent rows and hanging knee raises. Just the little I did of each of these today made me miss it and realize just how out of condition I really am. Mark says that we should train so we can play and that's exactly what I have in mind.

          The other new thing I did was to sign up for a 7-hour beginners' kayak class. It's been ages since I've been in a kayak, but the times I have are great memories for me. I love the peace and serenity of being on the water. And my woodland photography is beginning to bore me so I think I'll see what I can do from the water. My plan is to take the class in early May and see if I can find a decent used boat and paddle. If I can get the rest of the gear used, too, so much the better. And because everything gets pretty wet in a kayak seat, I'm going to look into finding a weather-sealed camera, too. Probably a used body to go with the weather-sealed lens I already own. Summer nights are long and so I hope I can get out in the afternoons a few days a week and paddle. I live near a biggish lake and a lot of smaller lakes, too, so I should be able to. I'm pretty psyched to be able to afford to do this now.
          5' 9" 47 YO F
          PB start June 2, 2012
          Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
          Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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          • That video was hilarious!! So many one liners! Thanks for sharing.

            Glad to hear the leathers are no longer fitting.

            Welcome back to the gym! I need to hit the gym too. Haven't been there in a couple of weeks.

            Kayaking sounds fun! Not sure I'd want to go with a camera though - I'm a nervous nelly and would be constantly freaked out that it would get ruined. Would probably be just as nervous with a waterproof camera. lol
            Primal since March 5, 2012
            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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            • I'll take it slow. Not going to risk my gear if I'm a spaz. I am excited to get going though.

              Have kept up my activity level this last week. Walked a couple of times. Swung the bell. Went to the gym to lift heavy things. The way I'm training now is different than before. Instead of higher reps and working to failure, I do lower reps and keep some in the tank so to speak. My husband is training this way now, too. He's advising me to do sets 1-3 of 5 and when those get too easy, add weight. I think it's going to help me build strength quickly.

              I am mindful of easing into it though. Don't want to squat myself into immobility, which I've done in the past. I'm also sticking to Olympic bar lifts. Something I'd hardly done at all before. So I use the 45-lb bar for bent rows, military press, deadlift, squat and bench press. I also do hanging leg raises which builds up my shoulders (because you load them with tension when you hang) and my grip strength. Every lift is slow and controlled. It's painful to watch so many others with bad form who are just wasting their time. Like the guy doing leg raises today who moved so fast that it's all momentum. Or the guy doing squats who didn't actually squat. Sigh. Much like my diet, I keep to myself and just shake my head.

              So we'll see if I can break this plateau. I'm hovering between 153 and 155 lbs when I'd like to be 10 lbs lighter. I'm not worried about it. Plateaus are natural and I'll work through it.
              5' 9" 47 YO F
              PB start June 2, 2012
              Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
              Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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              • Oh to be 155... I'm in the 180's still. If this is a plateau, it's lasted since October! With a little yo-yo action! Congrats on getting so low!

                I like your approach at the gym.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                • thanks.
                  Plateaus do infuriate us, but I'm trying not to obsess. So far a relaxed, but vigilant, way of pursuing this lifestyle has worked. I don't constantly change what I eat, nor do I juggle numbers for macros or change how I exercise every week...I just eat, sleep, play and train. Over-complicating just isn't my style. Sticking to this is enough of a change, you know?

                  Yeah...no more girly/vanity lifts for me. Too much effort for too little gain. This time around I want true strength, not just gym strength. Core strength, too, since I'll be doing something that actually requires it (kayaking). So no more triceps kick-backs or preacher curls or stupid leg raises. No. More. I'm going to do the big-muscle, compound lifts and I'm not even going to track how much or how many. I'm just going to do it. I perform much better that way rather than constantly evaluating and measuring. It's enough that I do it and do it well.

                  One thing I do need to add back in is sprinting. I haven't since winter started and I really should now that the snow has melted off my driveway and the ground is beginning to thaw. Ahhh...spring.
                  5' 9" 47 YO F
                  PB start June 2, 2012
                  Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                  Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                  • I'm pretty much past my immersion period when it comes to diet and health stuff. You know, when you read a million books, blog posts and subscribe to tons of RSS feeds and podcasts? yeah, I'm pretty much over that, but sometimes something will catch my eye and this one did. Link to Gnolls.org



                    Interview: J. Stanton on Beverly Meyer’s Podcast “Primal Diet, Modern Health”
                    It’s been some time since I’ve given any interviews…so when Beverly Meyer asked me to record an episode of her mostly-weekly podcast “Primal Diet, Modern Health”, I decided to go for it! In doing so, I join a long list of distinguished guests, including Sarah Fragoso, Tom Naughton, Diane Sanfilippo, Jason Seib, Lierre Keith, and William Davis, M.D.

                    We spoke for just over 40 minutes, and covered a wide range of topics: the components of hunger and how they apply to everyday food choices, how MSG fools your taste receptors, the hunger response in predators vs. prey, and much more!

                    You can listen to “Real Food Vs. The Hunger Response” from this page at Beverly’s website, ondietandhealth.com. (Or from her show’s iTunes page: my episode is dated 3/9/13.)


                    I listened to it on my walk today and it was a nice refresher about what makes us hungry and how food companies manipulate our bodies' natural signals. It makes me more happy than ever that I don't eat processed "food" anymore.

                    The best example was can you imagine eating a cheeto without the flavor added?

                    Ewwww.
                    Last edited by June68; 03-13-2013, 12:06 PM.
                    5' 9" 47 YO F
                    PB start June 2, 2012
                    Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                    Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                    • Ugh.

                      I'm in a bad way this morning. Went to the gym to lift and my back went out as I bent over to pick something up. Didn't even have anything in my hand. Wasn't doing a lift. It just went. It does that. I have spina bifida occulta and loading the dishwasher or bending to do anything can make it go out. When it does my legs are usually weak, too, since it involves the spinal cord and major nerve bundles. Joy.

                      OMG.

                      This is so frustrating for me and has been a source of depression for years. It's the 'why bother' syndrome. Why bother exercising when there is NOTHING that can be done for my back? Why bother trying to be healthy when my back will always sabotage me? Why bother being active when I can be completely sidelined in an instant?

                      Seriously. Once I was out sledding. I was 25 years old. I was walking up the hill and my back went. My friend had to practically carry me to the car then up to my apartment. During that episode my vision, hearing and balance were affected. I was dizzy and my ears rang and rang and rang. I lived on my couch for days.

                      And now this. After months of doing pretty well in the spine department. I could barely get out of there and into my car the pain and the spasms were so intense. It's the only time I wish I drove an automatic.

                      So now my stress hormones are raging and I'm crabby and depressed.
                      5' 9" 47 YO F
                      PB start June 2, 2012
                      Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                      Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                      Comment


                      • I am so sorry. I wouldn't normally ask this, but isn't there a surgery or something they can do to correct it? Is this the same spina bifida that they warn about during pregnancy? I hope it clears up quickly so you can bet back to life. Stay strong and stay the course. It is worth it even if your back won't cooperate.
                        Primal since March 5, 2012
                        SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                        • I wish there was a remedy, but there isn't. Most people are never even diagnosed. Basically the problem is the sheath covering the spinal cord and other nerve bundles (the ones branching off the SC) is missing, damaged or incomplete. Same with the vertebra themselves - sometimes they're not closed in the front. I have spinous processes on the vertebra involved, but the anterior portions aren't fully closed. Depending on severity a person can have deformed limbs and partial paralysis. Commonly there's just pain, weakness, swelling and numbness. In certain positions, I get a numb patch right in the middle of my back...just under my bra strap. Recently the times when numbness occurs have changed. I used to be able to sleep flat on my back, now I can't because the numbness is annoying. I also used to be able to eat at the coffee table in front of the TV, but I can't now because that little bit of a lean forward makes my back go numb. When I was a kid, my legs were really crooked and I almost had to wear braces on my legs and walk with little canes. Instead my mom did vigorous stretching and rehab exercises and I only had to wear ugly, orthotic shoes for a while. The muscle attachments are at the wrong angles, but my legs are basically straight.

                          Sigh. I'm not giving up. I never do, but I do have rampant frustration whenever this happens. Because there's never any warning and I can never predict when my back will go out, it's always surprising and there's usually no cause...like doing something stupid. It's always something normal and quotidian. It would be easier to take if I 'brought it on myself', but that's never the case.

                          Bah.

                          Anyway...thanks for the sympathy. I was blatantly fishing for it and so I'll shut up now.
                          5' 9" 47 YO F
                          PB start June 2, 2012
                          Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                          Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                          • Originally posted by June68 View Post
                            Anyway...thanks for the sympathy. I was blatantly fishing for it and so I'll shut up now.
                            Sometimes we need sympathy. Besides, that's what friends are for.
                            Primal since March 5, 2012
                            SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



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                            • thanks Jenn.

                              things are better. Just went and walked 3.3 miles in some nifty minimalist shoes. felt good. Back is looser and isn't spasming. I really need to retrain myself to bend at the hips -- to hinge instead of bending my back when I reach down for things. Basically doing a deadlift even when I'm only picking up a pen I dropped. that re-training will take time before it's habit, but I have to try.
                              5' 9" 47 YO F
                              PB start June 2, 2012
                              Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                              Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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                              Comment


                              • Have been consciously changing the way I bend and lift. It's not too tough, and I sometimes forget, but I think new habits will serve me well in future and I'll have fewer episodes.

                                Walked once over the weekend - 5 miles and had a lifting session. Another lifting session this morning. Basically MADE myself get out of bed and into the car. It was worth it though. I felt good and didn't throw out my back. I'm training for strength, not for muscular development and I don't think I'm at my max, but am still building toward it. I want to lift lighter for a month or so before I move up. Plus I don't have a spotter most of the time. So here's my baseline for my records because I forget this stuff -

                                Olympic bars - 45lbs plus
                                40 for squats (low back and knee sensitivity, so low weight)
                                66 for deadlift (that's the green roundy weights, right? lol...I'll have to check)
                                30 for incline bench
                                20 for bent rows (still figuring out my form on these and being careful of lumbar spine)
                                0 for military press and upright rows - just the bar for now

                                Plus I'm doing hanging leg-raises, slow and with shoulders loaded. Damn if that won't improve my grip strength. So will farmer's carries which I'm doing with 25lb plates. People look at me like I'm nuts walking all over the gym carrying those things. LOL.

                                I haven't lost any more weight for a couple months. Plateaus are normal and I'm trying not to stress about it and I'm pretty much not. These things happen, my body has been through a lot in the last few years and so healing and finding my optimal weight will take time.

                                I seriously cannot wait for spring though. Enough winter already! So much snow. I just want green things and the smell of freshly turned dirt and the buzzing of bees. I want to put my hammock back outside. I want my summer car on the road. Flowers. Warm breezes. Mud and the things that live in mud. Worms. Spring peepers. Catbirds.

                                Come on spring!

                                5' 9" 47 YO F
                                PB start June 2, 2012
                                Pre PB SW = 180 (no scale at home, Mom's scale January - 153lbs!)
                                Current deadlift 245 lbs, squat 165 lbs, bench press 135 lbs


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