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Primal Feet First: In Search of Lost Time or Remembrance of Things Past

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  • Owwww...

    I did something a squelched my lower back.
    I don't even know.
    I slept wrong...
    I stood up wrong...
    I leaned over the sink and applied my mascara wrong?
    Whatever... lower back is all "whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" every time I stand up or sit forward.

    So I got out one of those heat patches... and there is this warning, "do not apply to bare skin"
    Really, WTF am I supposed to apply it to then? My baggy sleep shirt so that it never stays in one spot for more than two seconds? I think NOT.
    On the skin it went. I'll take my chances.
    (it feels fine btw, that "may burn skin" warning was way, WAY, over reaching... seriously)

    Made an appointment for a deep tissue massage plus HEAT therapy tomorrow (oh happy day!), which I somehow haven't been to in an entire month.
    Bad, bad me!
    WhYYYYYY have I been skipping my massage therapies?
    Bad me!
    To make up for all this slacking I added a one hour facial as punishment for tomorrow as well.
    That will teach me.
    Yes it WILL!

    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

    Comment


    • I ate salty food...
      I feel like my head is going to explode and I'm going to be sick.

      I know better.
      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

      Comment


      • I had to get up at 6 am... and I'm sitting here waiting to take and drop my Schnauzer at the vet for tooth cleanings and a little ear tumor removal and I'm all... I WOULD call this the ass crack of dawn, but she really has not shown her precious little crack yet at all... it's DARK out there people... it's the PRE-ass crack of dawn. I will be snuggling back up next to husband right after Little Bear is safely at the vet for his day of terrible things.
        When it's dark out, and this "late" I should definitely be sleeping... *nods*

        Tommy (the White GSD) had tooth cleanings on Tuesday, and we nearly didn't get him back... because everyone was so in love with him they all wanted to keep him for their own sweet baboo. The boy is a terrible LOVE SPONGE, he didn't mind at all, soaking up every coo, cuddle, and kiss like it was his specially trained job.

        Bear, the horrible neurotic and nervous little beast, will not be as well loved I dare say.
        I'll know at around 4:30 pm when I see him again.


        It's possible that I drank enough water to rinse away most of the sodium damage from yesterday...
        Today will also be water logged, but I feel less like dying or head exploding/caving in.
        I really do know better.
        Damned salt.
        Last edited by cori93437; 02-01-2013, 04:47 AM.
        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

        Comment


        • Well... dawn cracked her ass wide open, just like that. Boom. Light.
          (the flux just removed itself from my pc screen at 7:21 am)

          Still cuddling up with husband in bed again.
          Because it's warm, and I can...
          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

          Comment


          • Picked up the Little Bear and he came home sporting a cone-of-shame due to stitches in his ear from a small tumor removal... and neurotically whining with every single breath, and comically running into things... and watching him try to sniff and position himself to pee is completely comical.

            The little old man is a MESS.
            For all his horrible quirks I love him.

            Hopefully being reunited with his co-dependent platonic dog mate, Charlie Waffles/Sunshine, will ease the neurotic whining... because GAHHHH!!! It's getting annoying pretty fast.
            Last edited by cori93437; 02-01-2013, 03:28 PM.
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

            Comment


            • My dog does that whining too. Drives me nuts. He usually does it when my husband has been home and then left right away. It's like the dog thinks he's outside playing without him. Super annoying.
              Primal since March 5, 2012
              SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



              Comment


              • And I don't know if I've ever told you, but your avatar makes me laugh every time I really look at it. Too cute and funny for words.
                Primal since March 5, 2012
                SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                Comment


                • Stress level x1000...

                  Decompression tunes NECESSARY.




                  Last edited by cori93437; 02-02-2013, 12:57 AM.
                  “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                  ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                  And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                  Comment


                  • I was having a strange and vivid dream when I woke up this morning.
                    There was a knock at my door (not this home) late at night and two very distressed men were there, one was carrying a bloody body... shot I think. They looked military for some reason.
                    I was in under ware and an under shirt.
                    They took her to the bathroom and laid her in the tub.
                    They stripped off their bloody and muddy clothes.
                    I cut open the woman's clothes to see if I could do anything about her wounds... but it was obvious that there was nothing to be done. I had to leave the bathroom to go get scissors to do this and there were other people in the house, I didn't know them...
                    The man carrying the woman was full of grief, he was talking to her.
                    She said she wanted to be clean and warm, so he turned on the hot water for her and pulled away the rest of the clothing.
                    The second man was in and out of the scene... he wasn't handling it very well. He vomited once. Left the room, came back, wasn't holding together very well.
                    I was also talking to the first man, telling him it would be OK. Consoling him as he cradled the woman and her life slipped away. Holding their hands, touching them. Stroking his back as he bent over her trying to sooth him.
                    And then she was gone. Exhaled her last breath...
                    Just like that.
                    He turned to me and said "she's gone, she's dead now", and I could see how broken he was and all I wanted to do was hold him, so I did.
                    I embraced him, and he bent to my shoulder and he sobbed and shook and cried.
                    And then we looked back to the bath tub and she was gone.
                    No body, nothing... as if she had never even been there.
                    And his hands crept down to my ass and thighs and his mouth found mine, and I thought it was the most natural thing in the world to give him that comfort too.
                    The other man became very angry about it, so I pushed him outside and closed the door and I felt profoundly sad for him.
                    And I went back to the man who wanted love and comfort and pulled his head to my breast, and offered him whatever peace he could find.
                    And I woke up... no actual sex scenes.


                    Still really stressed today despite my best attempts at zen...
                    Think I'm going to plug my personal C.orey T.aylor O.nly (Slipknot and Stone Sour, plus any "feat." tracks) MP3 player into my head and see if that helps drown it all out.

                    I'm letting it be...
                    But it's breaking my heart.
                    I'm human.
                    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                    Comment


                    • Wow. What a scary dream... I've had dreams where I've done things with other men and felt guilty about it later. What's worse is that we can't control our dreams. I wish we could.

                      Hope you feel better soon.
                      Primal since March 5, 2012
                      SW: 221 | CW: 204 | LPW: 166 | UGW: 140 (80 lbs loss)



                      Comment


                      • It didn't feel scary at all quite the opposite.
                        Strange I guess.
                        But I've been having graphically violent dreams for as long as I can remember... ones with much less of a comforting theme than this one. Actually with the opposite of comfort...
                        I spent much of my childhood with recurrent dreams in which I was hunted down and killed, and then as I got older it got switched into dreams where I retaliated and defended myself to kill, then began killing out of anger myself.

                        It felt more introspective.
                        I think I'm supposed to be getting something from it, but I haven't quite figured out what yet.
                        It felt important.
                        It was extremely vivid, particularly the scenes where the lady was dying and I was watching her and comforting both her the man and we were all pretty much naked, then she dies and completely disappears, and then he is sobbing and our comforting escalates to sex territory, and the sadness I feel for the man who becomes angry.
                        It's still very vivid even now hours later.
                        I can still visualize the images that was I was seeing of her face as she passed away, of his naked back as he bent over her, his ribs heaving. Of him turning to me and the look in his eyes. Of feeling him racked with sobs against me like a child at first. The strangeness of looking back at the empty bathtub and seeing that she was completely gone... and then knowing we could move on and take comfort in each other.
                        For the most part it was like I wasn't feeling a lot of anything. Except the deep sadness I felt when I confronted the angry man. I was feeling because I was participating in another's emotions, so I was feeling part of what they were feeling. Feeling in echoes... if that makes sense.


                        I have zero qualms about dream sex... mine or husbands.
                        Fantasy is natural.
                        It's our actual life actions that matter.
                        “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                        ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                        And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                        Comment


                        • It's true, I am.
                          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                          Comment


                          • That is a very interesting dream. I think you are beginning to decipher it. Could there be any connection to your miraculous transformation of this past year?

                            Having said that, the aftermath of vivid dreams can bring up rough feelings even though they are not real. Hope you can work through it quickly.
                            Primal since 9/24/2010
                            "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                            Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                            MFP username: MDAPebbles67

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                            • I have always had very strange and vivid dreams. The ones that have the most connection to reality are always the worst for me. Like my brother dying because of neglect from a parent. It's hard to forget those ones.

                              *hugs* I hope you can find a good (safe) form of stress release!

                              [edit] To be clear, my parents are not neglectful and my brother is not dead or dying! I just worry about him getting everything he needs to get by functionally. He is 15 and no one has ever tried to teach him how to tie his shoelaces (reminder: he has very high functioning Down Syndrome).
                              Depression Lies

                              Comment


                              • No worries NW. My sons didn't learn to tie shoes for years because everything was velcro. Did you try to teach him the rabbit and the tree trick?
                                Primal since 9/24/2010
                                "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                                Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                                MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                                Comment

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