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Primal Feet First: In Search of Lost Time or Remembrance of Things Past

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  • Annnnnnnd boom! Just like that...
    After years (yes, seriously... yearssss, ink is permanent you have to be picky and fulfill you vision or just skip it) of looking (on and off) for a koi that I actually like for the back piece that I want (whole right side of back, upper thigh to neck, and across both shoulders) I finally find one now that I am getting my head straight.
    And in a very similar style to exactly what I was already imagining!
    Not the horrible stocky/masculine ones that are everywhere!
    It'll need me to do some modifications... read: I'ma have to do some serious sketching to get it filled in, scaled up to size, and made perfect for me... but WOW!
    Serendipitous, no?

    I'll be 40 next year... it would be nice to have the ink dry before that day rolled around... and there is a LOT of ink to lay to get it all done.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

    Comment


    • Cori, I grew up in a home similar to yours. Less severe from the sounds of it, but certainly very similar. When you expect the pain, it not being there only confuses you. With some of the abuse heaped on me from both of them, it took a long time for me to believe I was worthy of emotion and love. I couldn't be perfect enough to avoid the "disicipline," I couldn't be invisible enough to avoid being my mother's emotional waves.
      *Trigger*
      The last time my father actually struck me, I was 15. We hadn't cleaned the bedroom right, I think. He vanished, and I knew he was coming back with the whipping belt (a shortened one with the tip of the buckle removed.) In our bedroom, the area between Cassie's bed and the closet was very tight spacing. You could only access that area by walking between the bunkbed and her dresser, which required a relatively thin person. My father was not thin by any stretch of the imagination. I grabbed both of my sisters, shoved them into the least accessible corner of that area, stood in front of them and said "don't say or do anything, you'll just piss him off more." To my knowledge, not a blow landed on them that day. I think that actually earned me some respect from him, in some twisted way.

      I never made the S&M leap. Sex was never intertwined with anything, except comfort and love (you only want what you can't have.) I had an ex withhold sex as a punishment (he never even French kissed me,) but that's a different animal. I knew from a young age that sex and love were intertwined, and after knowing there was no love in his beatings, I can only associate pain with pain and sex with love and sex.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

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      • A good tattoo artist will be able to work an image to your specifications with respect to your aesthetic preferences & your body shape. So, unless you want to do the sketching, it's not entirely necessary. A good drawer/sketcher/painter does not necessarily make a good tattoo artist, you know? But maybe I am preaching to the choir, here. Also, I realize that some people just want what they want, but I am one of those that likes to leave more up to the artist (and I like my artist and trust her a lot to do what will look best on me).
        Depression Lies

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        • Originally posted by namelesswonder View Post
          A good tattoo artist will be able to work an image to your specifications with respect to your aesthetic preferences & your body shape. So, unless you want to do the sketching, it's not entirely necessary. A good drawer/sketcher/painter does not necessarily make a good tattoo artist, you know? But maybe I am preaching to the choir, here. Also, I realize that some people just want what they want, but I am one of those that likes to leave more up to the artist (and I like my artist and trust her a lot to do what will look best on me).
          Yeah... I know.
          Whatever I do will be subject to amendments for the sake of the appropriateness of line and body placement, etc.

          The image I found is really similar to what I have been looking for... but the fish isn't quite whole.
          Parts of the fins go out of the frame, there is another image in the frame that needs deleting, I want the fins to lean a little more to the Art Nouveau end of the spectrum to give a better sense of what I really WANT out of the piece before I present it to a Tattoo artist to reinterpret for an ink mock-up and have them try and interpret my words instead of an actual physical image which is easier.

          Also I'd like to see it layed out full size, or close to it... play with colors a bit.
          Right now I want the koi, or the main koi if there is only one (I'm considering two,one large and one smaller) to be very light colored... a lot of whites and pastels... ghostly.
          Then color around it.
          But that needs goofing with.

          Areas like my shoulder caps and the fill around the koi will get more leeway from the artist... they can then match the style to what I already have shown them in regards to the slightly Art Nouveau line.

          Giving them an essentially completed koi, they can then manipulate it's fins and such to suit my body shape, and use the same style I'm after for all of the water effect and floral fill. So it's not really a hard image I'm after.
          Changing the line and texture a bit to better accommodate the ink won't change the essential style of the koi either.
          It's the style that is most important.
          I've talked to quite a few artists and not a single one has ever done/seen a full back koi tatt where the koi isn't pretty chunky/masculine/traditional... and that's exactly what I've been avoiding.

          **Edit... Also. Creative outlet!
          Plus... Massive emotional digging. A good thing? Maybe.
          This tattoo is all about my mother.
          Last edited by cori93437; 12-13-2012, 11:16 AM.
          “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
          ~Friedrich Nietzsche
          And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

          Comment


          • Yeah, so that sounds awesome. I hope it works out for you.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by canio6 View Post
              Yeah, so that sounds awesome. I hope it works out for you.
              Go back a page and read my skinny thigh rant.
              Its more fun than tech discussion of tatt structure.
              “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
              ~Friedrich Nietzsche
              And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

              Comment


              • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
                Go back a page and read my skinny thigh rant.
                Its more fun than tech discussion of tatt structure.
                It was a good rant, and I agree. It makes me sad when a woman has legs only as thick as my forearms. Nothing beats a great set of legs...okay, so a great ass does, but you get the point

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                • Art Nouveau! <3

                  Love the thigh rant. Missed it yesterday. I always had slightly meatier thighs than would be expected (based on media images) for my general thinness as a teen. Thighs and hip-area are the first to fill out, that and my face, when I gain fat. I'm learning to be okay with this because I realize that many other women are built like this, it's just those damn models that aren't.
                  Depression Lies

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                  • The thigh rant makes me happy. As a woman with Serious Thighs, I have had two choices: hate them or love them. I'm pretty tired of hating myself, so the answer became obvious to me a while back.

                    Cori, there's a good video about abs I posted on my journal that addresses some of the same thing.
                    “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                    Owly's Journal

                    Comment


                    • Originally posted by Owly View Post
                      The thigh rant makes me happy. As a woman with Serious Thighs, I have had two choices: hate them or love them. I'm pretty tired of hating myself, so the answer became obvious to me a while back.

                      Cori, there's a good video about abs I posted on my journal that addresses some of the same thing.
                      This video...

                      Nail... head... BANG!

                      Serious.
                      People need to love the bodies they have.
                      Sure, work for a healthy body... but embrace the one you've been given!
                      Stop trying to torture and manipulate it into some stupid version of "perfect" you've been sold.
                      It's bullshit.
                      If you are tall and willowy with NO hips... celebrate that shit... you can wear those skinny pants that look good on no one else in the entire world.
                      If you have hips and ass and stuff... that's cool too!
                      You look glorious as well!

                      We are all worthy individuals... we don't need to look like some cookie cutter ideal to love ourselves or be loved.
                      And our bodies meet that same criteria.
                      Last edited by cori93437; 12-13-2012, 02:03 PM.
                      “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                      ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                      And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                      Comment


                      • I have never had skinny thighs. Even as a toothpick that was underweight in high school, I had what my family has always referred to as "soccer legs." Never will, either. That's the first place I put on muscle and one of the last place I lose fat.
                        I've never seen the allure of toothpick legs on a female or chicken legs on a male. I don't mind lean, but there'd better be usable muscle there.
                        I tried, for a brief time in my life, to get thinner thighs. I did squats, arabesques, lunges, the whole nine yards. They got bigger. I tried to lose weight. My arms got thinner, my stomach got flatter, my thighs didn't budge (got a nice cut line, though.) At that point, I realized I would need to lose muscle that I spent 25 years of my life putting on and said "fuck that."
                        Yes, I hafta size my pants for my thighs and hips, and take the waist in. I'm ok with that. It's part of who I am.
                        Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                        My Latest Journal

                        Comment


                        • Originally posted by Owly View Post
                          Cori, there's a good video about abs I posted on my journal that addresses some of the same thing.
                          Great video. I had to wait until I got home to be able to hear it. It's nice to see someone telling the truth. Though the whole video I was thinking...damn, nice traps.

                          Comment


                          • Yeah, I really like Amber (Go Kaleo). Some of her stuff probably wouldn't be super popular with some of the crowd around here, but she's got a wonderfully sensible and compassionate approach to health and fitness.
                            “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

                            Owly's Journal

                            Comment


                            • I watched that vid and read around her site. Her thoughts are reflecting how I've been feeling lately. Maybe weight-lifting will be the answer to my hormonal issues too haha.
                              Depression Lies

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                              • Food is a little weird lately.

                                I get hungry... but then I don't really want to eat.
                                Or at least not much.

                                Like tonight... I thought I was starving!
                                Made beef with mushroom marsala gravy (creamed cause it's delicious).
                                Made husband a sweet potato, made some green beans, and also some asparagus for me.
                                Then... even though it was seriously delicious... I didn't really want to eat very much.
                                I didn't even finish but maybe half of my asparagus, which is NUTS for me. I love asparagus.
                                I ate maybe 2/3 of my meat portion because I was trying.

                                I say "Yay, dinner!"
                                My tummy says...


                                Meh.
                                Hopefully this will pass.
                                This isn't the first day of it.
                                I haven't been having any of my normal snacks lately...
                                I don't have them every day, but do normally have some yoghurt or an apple here or there and I have not been interested at all in those things either.

                                Not quite sure what to make of it, and not sure how long to let it go before I start tracking calories/forcing myself to up my intake a bit.
                                “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                                ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                                And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                                Comment

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