Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Primal Feet First: In Search of Lost Time or Remembrance of Things Past

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Originally posted by naiadknight View Post
    "Honey, are you sure you wanna mess with Texas?" I said, pulling my knife out of my pocket and displaying it on the table.
    She turned white and walked away.
    And yet you have no idea why we think you might be intimidating . . .

    Cori- that sounded like an "I'm having a bad day in general" rant, but I hear you. Heck, I am a judgy mcjudgypants- but at least I keep it to myself and include myself in the judginess. I want to fit in, I want to be "normal" (whatever that is), I want to be "in," but the older I get the more I realize that to do so I'd have to totally turn my back on my own self and I'd constantly be on the treadmill of "not normal/thin/rich/whatever enough." Well fuck that. Way too much work for something that has no meaning in the end

    Anywho- not sure if that made any sense- but *hugs* and *whew* on getting to keep garlic We love ya no matter what size you are

    (/therapist impersonation)
    http://cattaillady.com/ My blog exploring the beginning stages of learning how to homestead. With the occasional rant.

    Originally Posted by TheFastCat: Less is more more or less

    And now I have an Etsy store: CattailsandCalendula

    Comment


    • Originally posted by drssgchic View Post
      And yet you have no idea why we think you might be intimidating . . .
      I'm only intimidating if you fuck with me or mine. Stay cool, I'll be cool.
      Cori, I can only sympathize and send happy thoughts. I tried being rich, white, skinny, beautiful, and dumb, as the American populace seems to value. Never could find the rich. I'm white, but don't tan worth a flying fuck, so I'm not the right white. I don't want to be skinny enough for their values because I prefer functional form, so they can take their size 00 obsession and shove up their asses sideways. I am beautiful, as are you and everyone here, because fuck societal norms, I prefer what's inside. Dumb seemed boring, counterintuitive, and about as far from being myself as I could get. I am not a vacuous bimbo and, gods willing, will never be. So, I took a long hard look at that, and realized that neither I nor anyone I befriend will match society's requirements (because hanging out with vacuous ijits is trying in the worst way,) said fuck it, and went off to carve my own path with a machete.
      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
      My Latest Journal

      Comment


      • Cori, you are worth more than a million jerks like that. I hate it when people see human worth as measured in pounds or letters after one's name instead of on love, courage, kindness, or the inherent value of being a human worthy of dignity and rights based on nothing more than that humanity.

        Fuck 'em. You are made of awesome.
        “If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” --Audre Lorde

        Owly's Journal

        Comment


        • You doing okay, my dear? Missed you these last few days. I hope it's because the new meds are great and you're up and doing rather than bothering about MDA.
          *hugs*
          Last edited by badgergirl; 09-06-2012, 02:35 AM. Reason: added hugs!
          I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

          Comment


          • Back from the land of MIAs...
            Not feeling the greatest this week.
            The fat people hate got to me... the last postings I read on there were the nails in the coffin for me I guess. All about how we are all supposed to work at "doing it all" and having these perfect rounded lives, and we'll all be so much happier if we have fun and socialize while having smaller asses. I don't fucking know.
            What I do know is that living as a "SICK" person long term really changes that shit. I don't think that I would laugh MORE at a movie with my husband if my ass was smaller. I think that it would certainly be nice to be able to go back in time and have all those fun ladies nights and hang out with my "friends" again... but I rarely see them now.
            I simply don't do those things anymore. I don't go out to loud places, or drive a car, or drink anything but water with lime (or lemon if the place doesn't have fucking limes)... I can't "plan ahead" because I never know what day I'll wake up too sick to leave the house.
            So, Yeah.... been feeling a put out by all of those "just pull your big girl panties up and do something about it" fat haters and their "But it's only 1%" of people who have an illness or problem BULLSHIT... They have NO clue. Seriously, no fucking clue.
            And by my sort of "shut in" status...
            The meds that made me feel great the first few days... aren't that great in the long haul.
            I would have kept the super energetic ADHD instead of trading it for dizziness if I could have...
            Also... a possibility... it's that SPECIAL week where my pressure goes UPupUP. So my head has been hurting worse, especially when I lay down, which means my pressure is up... maybe it'll be better once I stop being a FLUID monger once the Russian Circus arrives, and gets the show settled in.

            I popped in for the "confessions" thread and very uncharitably thought that it was SO namby-pamby and juvenile that I could never share my own confessions there.
            An then that made me very sad for myself and the life I've lived that I have those things to "confess", but don't really regret doing them.

            And then I popped in to find that Rape thread... during PMS.
            Yes, I've been a victim of sexual abuse, coercion (you know, the kind where you don't want to get beat this time), and forced violent rape...
            There were several things I wanted to tell the OP that may have resulted in also getting my own account banned.
            So, I hit the report button and ranted semi-coherently there instead.
            Yes, I did.
            I hope that the OP understands that vengeance is also Primal, as is M/M rape... and if I had my druthers about his sentiments several large men would introduce him more formally to the topic so near and dear to his heart, very violently... at least the first time. Maybe the second or third time they'd let him "say yes" to avoid the beating.
            Pulp Fiction... with no Butch to save Marcellus, and the OP is obviously Marcellus.
            Yes, I do understand that is wrong of me. Whatever.



            And now this...
            5 Stupid Habits You Develop Growing Up in a Broken Home | Cracked.com
            (I hate you... you know who you are.) JK, not your fault my family sucked balls!
            5. Yes, I used to do that... seriously. I caught on to this pretty early about myself... and thought WHY would I lie about that??? I grew up and stopped caring enough to lie about stuff... maybe it was because I cut ties with my family for a few years around that time and moved away. Kind of ousted the reason behind it.
            But! Silver lining, learned how to channel it into creative writing really young too... though it remains a plaything.

            4. The bane of my existence to this day...
            End the passage you read with "What good will that artsy fartsy bullshit ever do you" in my fathers voice for anything not "real" work... for the rest... ignore if done correctly, beat/berate if done incorrect even if it's something you've never done/heard of before.

            3. Yep... Lack of middle ground has been with me a Looooooooonnnng time. From breaking out in cold sweats at the thought of a 95 on an exam, to worrying about which pile to sort a blue/green colored shirt into, the blue pile or the green pile... is it bluer or greener... checking under different light sources and comparing to different colors of blue and green... I've DONE it! Yes, I'm one of THOSE people who have (used to have, I've over come this to some degree) 10 different color sortings to do laundry. UGH.
            Of course... in other aspects I'm a complete and total (though never a jobless couch sleeping type) slacker and have trouble fixing that too. Fuck you parents.

            2. Always.
            And there was a person who posted a thread the other day saying that "self harm" didn't make sense... Derp.
            I cut for a very short period of my childhood. That'll get you beat. There are more subtle ways to self harm that don't leave the noticeable markings. It's a bit like OCD and I can still catch myself in a flareup when stress gets high. It's hard to imagine doing this without being aware, but it's not that hard.

            1. I win... this isn't a problem in my house BECAUSE...
            Husband and I are BOTH from crappy broken ass homes (though his was just
            normal" broken), and we are both Moody Bitches sometimes...
            Thus, we BOTH know the signs of impending MOOD, and know to walk the fuck away.
            Neither of us are hoverers or fixers... we have separate "rooms" (he has the ever glorious "man cave" I have the living room), we go there, all is well.
            Occasionally there may be a "You're an ass today", but that's it.

            This one may have been an issue in my past... but I was living with an evilmotherfucker... I'm not quite sure trying to avoid his wrath quite falls under this heading. I don't know?

            Overall dreary shit I guess.
            But...
            It's milk day... I get to leave the house for a little while!
            The Guernsey just freshened again... I was missing that buttery yellow milk, glad to have it back.
            Not that I minded just the Jersey while she was dry for calving.
            Honest, if you've never seen fresh grass fed Guernsey milk you gotta... more yellow in the jar than most sticks of butter! So pretty, and tasty. A little less fat than Jersey, though not much, but sweeter. Guernsey GOLD!

            (Obviously not a local cow... look at that HILL behind it. LOL Generic photobucket pic.)

            And then I'm gonna eat a beef fajita salad, because they have to do something with the boy calves, (sans silly "bowl") at my favorite local little Mexican place.

            And have water with lemon. Meh.
            “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
            ~Friedrich Nietzsche
            And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

            Comment


            • Originally posted by cori93437 View Post
              5 Stupid Habits You Develop Growing Up in a Broken Home | Cracked.com
              (I hate you... you know who you are.) JK, not your fault my family sucked balls!
              snip
              I posted that 'cause my family sucked assfeathers too. I just can't say that on fb because I have family on there. All of those hit home. I still have a problem with 5. I've mostly beat 4, but I have a host of unfinished projects that say I haven't beat it all yet. 3 has always been a problem; I was the eldest sibling and to this day I have issues with middle ground and gray areas. (By the way, I solved the blue green thing with having a teal/ turquoise section in my closet.) 2: perfection isn't perfect enough, and that's a demon I'm still fighting HARD (and losing.) I am the hypersensitive type in 1. I've learned to camouflage it, but it still scares the shit out of me when someone gets mad around me, to the point that I start looking to GTFO.
              Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
              My Latest Journal

              Comment


              • I have nothing sensible to say, but I'm sending love. And that rape thread made me see RED. I was ready to commit some violence of my own.
                I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                Comment


                • i fit most of those as well, it's so much good times isn't it

                  i feel like everyone should get stickers or a balloon. the awesome stickers, shiny and big and glittery

                  'life was hell but you survived more or less intact, here's your reward'
                  beautiful
                  yeah you are

                  Baby if you time travel back far enough you can avoid that work because the dust won't be there. You're too pretty to be working that hard.
                  lol

                  Comment


                  • i stayed away from the rape thread but now i'm slightly curious. i assumed there would be a slew of responses along the lines of "you're an idiot." i guess i was wrong
                    my primal journal:
                    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum...Primal-Journal

                    Comment


                    • I've stayed away from the rape thread, I have no desire to go to prison. I will continue to stay away from the rape thread, as visiting it would only piss me off.
                      Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                      My Latest Journal

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by Saoirse View Post
                        i stayed away from the rape thread but now i'm slightly curious. i assumed there would be a slew of responses along the lines of "you're an idiot." i guess i was wrong
                        Oh, there were quite a few of those with a sprinkling of chest thumping alpha-male idiocy. Did that thread get pulled? Good for you Cori if you had anything to do with that. I just couldn't bring myself to even get involved in that disgusting melee. I have been on the receiving end of sexual violence too. It just turned my stomach.

                        Comment


                        • I reported that rape thread when there was only a couple of responses...

                          Comment


                          • A Call to Arms for Decent Men

                            I cannot promote that article enough. It seems as though our shared English-language political/social discourse has suddenly gone Handmaid's Tale on us. It's everywhere.

                            http://www.mamamia.com.au/news/anne-...julia-gillard/

                            I'm struggling to think of a way to fight it on a one-woman basis and it scares me. As the mother of a son, I feel a profound responsibility to teach him better than our society is. *sigh*
                            I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

                            Comment


                            • Part I: In Response to Things

                              A. I'm quite positive that That thread no longer exists. You can search for it, but it has been deleted in its entirety as opposed to simply locked... as was appropriate IMO. Along with the OP, may he contract a rare flesh eating bacteria... that starts at his groin.

                              B.ish stuffs... I think that's one of the few things I managed to get right in my life. My son.
                              Well, at least my son in regards to women.
                              I'm pretty sure I may have fucked up on some other fronts, or at least not really handled "damage control" from his absentee natural father properly. Ya win some, ya lose some... I keep on trying.

                              Anyway.
                              I raised him to not just treat girls/women nice to their faces, but to respect them enough to tell the truth.
                              That means that if all he wants in a relationship is sex... DON'T lie to get in a girls pants.
                              There are plenty of girls out there that are good for a romp if that's what you want, no shame in that.
                              Or a casual dating relationship... one on one, but not serious.
                              And so far so good. He doesn't mislead girls. He's very honest... odd, some girls don't like that. *shrug*
                              I'd certainly rather a guy told me up front that he wasn't looking for a serious GF than to date him for a month than have him blow me off then... right? Where we are here in FL, it's normal for guys/girls in their late teens/20s to be pretty honest about dating expectations... whether it's a romp, casual dating, or looking to be serious... Son has moved to a very small town, girls there function VERY differently. LOL

                              Also, he has stood up and defended some girls from aggressive boyfriends when he was in high school.
                              I taught him to see the sorts of manipulative pushy games that were being played... he was a big kid.
                              On the football team, tons of weight lifting... and he made the guys back off... but even he said "Mom, I can't keep her from going back to him later" once when he had stopped a guy after he shoved his GF up against a locker.
                              He told the GF that she should never let her BF do that, that she deserved better, and that she should go talk to the counselor about it. Who knows... maybe that was the small push she needed, maybe not.
                              And that's what I told him... you gave her an opportunity. That's all you can do.

                              Of course... there were also a few conversations in our house where I let him know in no uncertain terms that if he ever actually beat a woman I was holding out all my rights to KILL him if he ever stepped foot back in my house after I found out. Of course I told him he could defend himself, he could hold a woman off of him who was trying to attack... I've seen it. But there isn't a reason for a man his size to raise a fist, EVER (in normal circumstances where his life isn't threatened like a knife or something).
                              He just showed me a picture the other day... I was all "Good LORD son, either your arms are BIGGER or your head has gotten tiny! WTH?"
                              He looked like zippy the pinhead.
                              He's in those testosterone flush years. Eats, works, bulks! Not even trying...
                              Of course, he's not foolin mom... too much fun/food over the summer. Which is about to stop as he hits OverTime season.
                              __________________________________________________ ____

                              Part II: Not in Response to Anything in Particular at All, but I Took Some Special Medicine and I'm Rambling Sooooooo

                              Speaking of too much food/fun...
                              After dinner husband took me to BestBuy to look at wireless headsets and mouses for my PC ('cause wires suck).
                              I didn't buy anything because the headsets are cheaper online and they didn't have the one I want anyway, which was lame because I like to get my hands on a thing before I order it usually.
                              And they don't seem to even make a wireless mouse that is comparable to my oldschool awesomesauce Microsoft Explorer Trackball 1.0 (the fingerball model NOT the thumb ball)... they had a small wireless thumb ball model... NO go. And now that I've looked all over on line... there are basically no equivalent fingerball models. *le sigh*
                              I LOVE this old mouse.

                              Also... if anyone HAS one of these in a box somewhere because they don't use it... I would give it a good and loving home for years to come. I'd really like to have a backup in case mine breaks. I know where I can send it off for repair service, but having an extra would be awesome!
                              (Actually, mine is much, much more worn out than that one in the pic... that is a pic I snagged from the netz.)

                              The "good" news, Husband and the Russian Circus were in collusion and verily FORCED me into a Cold Stone Creamery for some yumminess...
                              And no, I'm not talking about that sacrilege "fat free frozen yogurt" that they now serve.
                              The good, old fashioned, full-fat stuff that they smash together with paddles!
                              And by all the good gods was it DELICIOUS.
                              I got Coffee Lovers Only* a la Cori* (Coffee ice cream, Heath toffee bar, Caramel, Coconut flakes* ... supposed to be roasted almonds, I substituted the coconut to be "good" 'cause nuts are on the do not eat list. HEHEHEHEhehehehe).

                              Husband got something with chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate... and I really didn't feel like I was missing it at all.
                              We discussed how divine animal fat is, and how it's the really good things in life that people are always wanting to give up and sucker other people in to praising them for doing it. You know... a lot of the time people slip into the Vegetarians thing by first giving up the red meat... so no more steak and pork fat... which is fucking delicious! And everyone is like "Oh wow, good job!"... Then they give up chicken, eggs, fish, and even dairy fats and go Vegan (in my world, good dairy fat is right up there with near heavenly... but not quite meat fat, unless you add sugar!, which is kinda cheating... but IMO also limits consumption)... and then it's all "WOW, you're really serious about being healthy?!"
                              I mean... these are ascetic maneuvers, these people are some sort of martyrs in most peoples eyes even if they aren't acknowledging that at a fully conscious level.
                              No one ever gets that feeling about a person who says "Hey, I'm giving up eating spinach."
                              You know why... because not one single person ever had one of those eyes rolling back in their heads, moan inducing moments from having a fucking bite of spinach in their mouth.
                              Seriously.
                              Meat... NOT lean meat, but meat-fat... the proper bite... I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again... that is meat sex in my mouth!
                              Very few foods can do that on their own without doctoring up.
                              Maybe a few fruits picked at the peak of perfect ripeness... a perfect peach dripping with sweet juice warm off the tree? Maybe.
                              But meat... not a big problem. the right amount of meat to fat, the proper lick of flame... a tad of hunger.
                              Meat sex in my mouth. Works every time.
                              A fat juicy scallop seared in some bacon fat... yep, meat sex right there in my mouth. Yum.

                              I gave up spinach. And tomato sauce. And a long list of other things. But, no dear, I'm no ascetic...no martyr.
                              I'm just a meat-fat slut.
                              “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                              ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                              And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                              Comment




                              • And always the ghosts... of mother singing and picking.

                                “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
                                ~Friedrich Nietzsche
                                And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X