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Primal Journal (magda)

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  • #16
    Soooo, today I'm gonna rant a bit
    Last 2-3 days were not good in terms of food and fitness... 2 days ago I went to dinner with my husband. I wanted something more or less primal so I ordered grilled pork with sauteed mushrooms and baked potatoes. I wasn't planning on eating it all, but here's problem #1 When faced with food I have trouble stopping to eat when I'm no longer hungry. If the food is good, I will eat it all, feel stuffed, sick and miserable. Well, that happened that evening. Next morning I woke up still feeling as if I'd swallowed a brick. Well, here comes problem #2 I can't imagine missing a meal so instead of passing on breakfast and maybe having some tea to soothe my stomach, I ate... oatmeal. Yes, real oatmeal with oats (and some protein powder and fruit).

    I don't know if it was the oatmeal itself or the protein powder disagreeing with me (whey, new to me) but I ended up feeling even worse. Throughout the day I ate 1/2 a banana, some strawberries and a cup of yogurt, not to punish myself or something, I just really couldn't stomach any legit food and started getting light headed, because I was hungry...

    And then problem #3 happened. My friend asked me to go to work out with her. I knew the classes because I used to go there - it was 90 minutes of high intensity cardio class with some low weights strength training. I used to enjoy it, but then I dropped it for some reason and got more into lifting, power yoga... Anyway, yesterday happened to be the last class, because the gym schedule is changing or something, so I decided I may as well go. It ended up being 90 minutes long interval training - 35 seconds work, 12 seconds rest, with some sprints and maybe 3 one minute long breaks. One of the girls who was wearing heart rate monitor had HR of ~150 after 10 minutes of stretching!!! Since I didn't feel very good in the first place, I barely survived and had a "discussion" with my friend who was pumped about burning so may calories. I told her that I thought so much HIIT was unhealthy and stupid, not to mention painful and f*cking boring. She strongly disagreed...

    Well, after this craziness I hardly had enough energy to drag myself home... Of course today I'm sore from head to toe and still don't have much energy, but I'm not sure whether it's from the workout, crappy weather or whatever else (PMS maybe :P) I didn't work out today. I ate quite well until evening when I ate a sandwich. A legit sandwich with freshly baked bread (and smoked salmon and egg, sunflower sprouts and tomato). It was good, but I feel guilty now

    I also noticed that I'm getting kind of bulkier. I lost some weight at the very beginning (after going primal), but now I seem to regain it and then some more... Some of it is definitely new muscle, but I'm afraid not all of it. I don't want to gain wegiht (or rather, I don't want to gain inches and that's what's happening, unfortunately). I feel confused. And I don't think I have it in me to come back to 2h aerobic classes a day... Eating primally, I feel good as far as energy levels are concerned and my GI system is also happy, But I'm not quite so happy looking in the mirror... Oh well, I guess I'll go downstairs, make this cauliflower risotto and stop being so cranky. Maybe tomorrow will be better...


    • #17
      Well, here I am again

      Things have been a bit rough when it comes to food... Long story short

      - I attended a few parties during which my eating was totally out of control... I dominated multiple bags of chips + salsa and guacamole, not to mention cakes, muffins and all that jazz... It was kind of beyond my control - I knew I shouldn't be doing it and I still did. Of course I felt like crap on the next morning. This happened once or twice, but there was one episode that made me even more concerned...

      - I was making some kind of pie for a family celebration. The pie crust was supposed to be paleo, so I made it nut and honey based. I don't remember why, but somehow the filling didn't turn out at all and I had to toss the whole thing away. However, instead of doing this, I scraped and ditched the filling and proceeded to eat most of the crust. Yes, I actually ate most of a 10 inch pie crust... Uhmmm... I'm kind of ashamed to even write that and think about it again...

      After that no more scary binges happened, even though I attended a wedding party where the amount of food was just insane... There were like 10 hot courses served during the reception and countless snacks available all the time... I ate 2 hot courses and nibbled on some snacks but I managed to keep it within reasonable boundaries. I ate some bread and cake though. And there was a lot of booze involved. Oh well...

      What I noticed is that I can't seem to settle and be calm about my diet. I either overeat to the point where I'm stuffed or switch to CW low fat foods and bird portions and go hungry all the time. Either way it sucks - freaking disordered eating patterns...

      I also tried to start the Whole30 but towards the end of day 2 I got a headache of my life. And on day 3 I woke up starving but the thought of eggs + meat for breakfast made me sick. So what did I do instead? I had some oats... Well, I didn't even finish them when I realized it was REALLY bad idea. I'll spare you the details but basically my digestive tract showed me the middle finger (talk about a crazy metaphor ) I have no effing idea how I managed to live on grains for 29+ years and now a bowl of oatmeal almost kills me in 10 minutes...

      Needless to say, no grains have been consumed since the unfortunate oatmeal accident. However, I also decided not to do the whole30 for the time being. With my messed up attitude to food and crazy eating patterns I think it would bring more harm than good to me. I decided to be easy on myself - I'm going to eat primally, but including dairy (mainly in the form of cottage cheese and Greek yogurt, organic when possible and really high quality cheese to season my salads etc.) and fruit (there are tons of fresh fruit in season right now and the thought of not eating strawberries of fresh peaches makes me sad). I'm going to focus on fixing my eating habits and eating to be healthy and feel good (and not to gain much weight).

      I'll be working out the way I like (i.e. body pump, some crossfit WODs, some biking and whatever else I feel like doing) and will try not to freak out when I'm too sore to work out or just want to hang out with friends instead. I'll also ditch the scale, maybe for good. I'm not overweight and since I got more into weight lifting, I've gained some muscle and the number I see on the scale messes up my mood and self esteem.

      I'll be recording my ups and downs here. So today has been really good so far

      Breakfast: full fat cottage cheese with Greek yogurt, mashed with a banana and some strawberries + a BIG scoop of sunflower butter and a handful of nuts and cocoa nibs. This is my dream breakfast and it makes me sooo happy to start my day Also keeps me full for ~5 hours

      I drank an americano with cream on my way to the office. BTW I love the taste of coffee with cream, but I noticed it actually makes me sleepy which kind of defeats the purpose of coffee...

      Lunch: Awesome egg salad: 2 eggs, broccoli and 1/2 avocado, all mashed with some mustard, salt and pepper + a chopped tomato and a side of some green beans. And another coffee with cream which made me sleepy again...what the hell? I hate black coffee... Although maybe I'll be able to warm up to it if I actually invest in good coffee, because the thing we have at our office hardly deserves that name

      I rode my bike to the office and will ride it back (obviously ) which will be about 15 miles total. No more workout planned for today since something happened to my knee during body pump yesterday. Fortunately it's better today and hopefully will be ready for another body pump tomorrow


      • #18
        The 2nd day of my comeback is going well
        Yesterday I had an awesome and super quick dinner: broccoli and carrot slaw with some chopped homemade pork roast and super-spicy almond butter based sauce. And a kiwi for dessert.

        Today I had my usual breakfast of cottage cheese, fruit and sunflower butter + americano with cream. Lunch was chicken and zucchini curry + another coffee with cream. I have power pump class planned for the afternoon. And some fun recipe ideas to test and blog about during the weekend


        • #19
          Yesterday I had an awesome power pump class. I felt like it was time to increase my weights and I was really surprised, ho well it went. I really feel a huge improvement in the strength of my legs and arms and my arm muscles are really showing which is great for the tank to season I need to work on the depth of my squat, but I really feel I'm doing a good job. Food is going OK too. Yesterday after lunch I had a cup of cottage cheese with apple and cinnamon for a snack/pre workout meal and then great tuna salad for dinner (with an indecent amount of homemade guacamole ). Today breakfast was my usual bowl of cottage cheese goodness. I just love it so much I think I could have it for breakfast every day for the rest of my life

          I was going to do an at-home WOD today, but it's so hot that the mere thought about 7 rounds of 50 burpees or something similar seems crazy. Maybe I'll hit the gym in the evening and do some sprints in more decent temperature... We'll see. I'm also keeping the promise I made to myself to not step on the scale every morning (or actually not at all for several months). I'll be judging my progress by how I look and how my clothe fit. I won't allow a stupid number to make or break my day.


          • #20
            I didn't end up going to the gym yesterday. I did end up doing a lot of cleaning though, which was MUCH needed I also had my first mini-IF or rather mini-WHEN. I ate a meal of chicken curry about 5 PM and I actually had one more meal planned for the evening. However it was hot and I didn't get hungry, so I decided that I'm not going to eat just because I "should". I got really hungry very late in the evening but I figured a dinner at 12:30 AM wasn't a good idea So I just went to sleep and woke up to my cottage cheese breakfast. What a surprise

            We (hubby & I) have a workout planned for the evening and we plan to bike to the gym (even though it's still freaking hot, but maybe it will cool down a bit later). Off to get some work done.


            • #21
              Still going strong. I had one slip, a pretty minor one if I can say so - I added some oats to my greek yogurt and berries on Sunday (I think). Not much. It didn't kill me and didn't even make me feel physically bad, but I felt guilty and felt that I did something that didn't make sense for my body.

              Since then it's been OK regarding food, more or less. Some things I'm noticing

              - I'm stronger, I can lift more during bodypump and I've been nicknamed a cyborg, which I take as a huge compliment One time when I realized how much my strength increased was when I was choosing a kettlebell at the gym a few days ago. They were all lined up together, so I picked one up and thought "hmm, this one is quite heavy, probably 7-8kg, I'd better pick a smaller one". Then I looked at the bottom of the KB where the weight is written and almost dropped it on my foot in surprise, because it was 16 kg!!!

              - I can go on much more time without food. I always wake up hungry (or get hungry within the 5 minutes I need to brush my teeth ) but after my breakfast before 7 AM I have coffee (with a drop of cream) and then lunch about 12.30, more because it's time to eat than because I'm ravenously hungry. Which brings me to the next point...

              - I often eat because I "should" eat and think something along the lines. It's 12.30 PM, I'm not really very hungry yet, but if I don't eat now, I won't want to eat my pre-workout snack and if I workout with empty stomach, I'll die... " so I eat lunch. I need to work on this. I also just had a dessert (totally paleo, 1/2 banana with some cocoa powder and a tsp of almond butter + some frozen cherries) because I'm used to having something sweet after dinner. It was good (almond butter + cocoa is always great), but now I realize I didn't really need it (in the sense that I didn't really crave it that much, I guess you never really NEED a dessert)

              Overall though, it's going really well - I have consistent energy throughout the day (unlike most of my colleagues, including myself until a few months ago - we have a saying in our office that until lunch you fight hunger and after lunch you fight sleep, which was very true for me too )

              Today's highlight - I did a body weight WOD in 32 degrees C (~90F). Just after riding a bike from my office in similar temp. I was literally soaked, but quite proud of myself (for my motivation, not so proud of my obliques, but we're getting there, me and my obliques ). And now I showered, ate scrambled eggs with veggies and the not needed banana and I'm off to do some cleaning. Talk about high energy levels


              • #22
                WOW!!! I don't want sweets! I never expected this to happen, not in a million years! No matter how much or what I ate I always had a special place in my stomach for dessert. I usually eat something sweet(ish) for breakfast - a pancake, no oats oatmeal, cottage cheese with fruit, that kind of thing. But then after lunch or dinner I always want a little something sweet for dessert. Well, not today. I was making a birthday cake for my dad (grain free chocolate cheesecake). When baking or making something sweet, I had always licked all the bowls, spoons etc. clean and even some sugar binges happened. Not today. I melted chocolate (I used to be able to eat 2 kg of chocolate in one sitting!!!) made some nut-based crust (I used to be CRAZY about nuts!) and... I really had to force myself to try the mixture just to know if it turned out edible Didn't eat any of the leftover cream cheese mixture or crust, didn't even touch the bowl covered in melted chocolate (well, I did actually touch it - to toss in in the dishwasher). I'm downright shocked. I'm sure my sweet tooth will come back sometime. I wouldn't even want to dislike all things sweet But I'm really happy that at least sometimes I can be near sweets and not want to polish the whole cake by myself
                Last edited by magda; 07-14-2012, 03:35 AM.