Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Paleobird's Next Big Adventure

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • I had a very sedentary reflective day today. I just read back over this whole journal and re-read the story of me going for a cruise with my father happy and healthy at home, then the realization that his diet needed seeing to by me, then that wonderful span where he was getting off pills, had great BP and was feeling fine. Those are days I will really treasure. I just wish I could have changed his diet sooner, like by several decades. He was a tough healthy man. Without the cardiac damage from high BP and the metabolic damage from diabetes, he could easily have lived past 100.

    This is what I think of every time one of those Peatarian posters or the Barefoot Gentile starts posting about how there is nothing wrong with sugar or bread because they don't see any adverse effects. You don't see the effects YET. That doesn't mean they don't exist. And by the time you figure it out, it will be too late.

    My Dad "figured it out" when he said "I think I'm ready to give that diet of yours a try" while on the way home from seeing an emergency room doctor about the stabbing peripheral neuropathy pains in his feet. That was in May. He was dead by November.

    I think the reality is finally soaking in that he is gone and is not coming back. We are going to have a little memorial service for him here at the house for a few friends and neighbors and bury his ashes in the yard that he loved so much.

    Comment


    • Sounds like a really powerful day, Robyn. Once the business of it all is done, there's often time to look back.

      To be sure, I was quite shocked that he went so quickly as well. I remember when you wrote of the changes in his diet and his health that came after. It's shocking how quickly it all turned -- as if on a dime -- and while I am thankful that he went, as you said, efficiently as he did because I know he would not have wanted to be a burden in any way -- it is also a very sad thing because of his zest for life, the health that he did enjoy pretty much until the end, and how open he was to finding methods to make his golden years that much better. He certainly was making long-term plans.

      It is hard to finally start to experience this process of understanding that he isn't coming back, and I think that a simple service will be helpful for you, friends, and family.

      Comment


      • (((hugs))) So sorry for your loss Robin. I personally am doing everything I can to get my father on board with me. He is headed down a very slippery path right now. Very overweight, prediabetic, taking blood pressure meds, heartburn meds, meds for his seizure disorder.....I'm going to buy The Art and Science of Low Carb Living for him for xmas. I'm half way through it already, I think it's a great book! I'm hoping that reading it will maybe snap him into reality and that he will start taking charge of his health before it's too late.

        Comment


        • Originally posted by zoebird View Post
          Sounds like a really powerful day, Robyn. Once the business of it all is done, there's often time to look back.

          To be sure, I was quite shocked that he went so quickly as well. I remember when you wrote of the changes in his diet and his health that came after. It's shocking how quickly it all turned -- as if on a dime -- and while I am thankful that he went, as you said, efficiently as he did because I know he would not have wanted to be a burden in any way -- it is also a very sad thing because of his zest for life, the health that he did enjoy pretty much until the end, and how open he was to finding methods to make his golden years that much better. He certainly was making long-term plans.

          It is hard to finally start to experience this process of understanding that he isn't coming back, and I think that a simple service will be helpful for you, friends, and family.
          Originally posted by MarissaLinnea View Post
          (((hugs))) So sorry for your loss Robin. I personally am doing everything I can to get my father on board with me. He is headed down a very slippery path right now. Very overweight, prediabetic, taking blood pressure meds, heartburn meds, meds for his seizure disorder.....I'm going to buy The Art and Science of Low Carb Living for him for xmas. I'm half way through it already, I think it's a great book! I'm hoping that reading it will maybe snap him into reality and that he will start taking charge of his health before it's too late.
          It's easy to be open to changes when you are up against a wall and have a choice between change or pain. But by then the damage is already done.

          Marrissa, please google Johns Hopkins+ ketosis for some interesting reading about ketosis and seizure disorders. It might help your dad get off of some of his meds. Also the AtkinsForSeizures.com site is a good resource.

          Comment


          • Well, a lot got accomplished today. The construction crew started the basic renovations needed to bring the house "up to code" and ready for sale. I have been counseled by a realtor, a mortgage broker, and a building contractor who all said not to waste too much money in dolling the place up like putting in all new kitchen cabinets or whatever. Whoever buys it will have their own idea of how they want it to be and will most likely tear it all out and start over anyway. And, you don't get an added value for the house that is high enough to cover the expense.

            So, they are just doing some little stuff like replacing some cracked windows, reconstructing a shed over the water heater out back where the roof was falling in, and finishing off a few projects that my Dad left in process like the new banister railing he made that still needs sanding and varnishing.

            Today they demolished the old falling down shed and hauled away the debris to the dump. They said if I had anything to add to the dump load it was fine by them since they pay a flat fee as a contractor. So that really got me moving, shifting out all the stuff in the closets and cabinets. I also got two packed full carloads of stuff off to the Goodwill.

            The excess baggage load keeps getting lighter.

            Comment


            • PB it sounds like you had healthy reflective day.

              I for one agree that the memorial service is a great idea, those rituals have been used for centuries for a very good reason. The act of gathering together and celebrating your dads precious life allows those who loved him to remember special moments even if some of them are sad or funny or unpleasant.
              Often people are not sure wether to talk about a person who has passed to a loved one . This does not give the bereaved chances to talk about their loss or their memories. Sometimes people get stuck becuse of this. I know this because I have counselled people through lifeline through their grief and loss.
              In reading your journal I don't think this is a worry for you but I thought I would share.

              Good luck with the renovations

              Jackie
              Last edited by jacmac; 11-27-2012, 01:38 AM.
              link to my journal http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread97129.html

              Comment


              • Originally posted by jacmac View Post
                PB it sounds like you had healthy reflective day.

                I for one agree that the memorial service is a great idea, those rituals have been used for centuries for a very good reason. The act of gathering together and celebrating your dads precious life allows those who loved him to remember special moments even if some of them are sad or funny or unpleasant.
                Often people are not sure wether to talk about a person who has passed to a loved one . This does not give the bereaved chances to talk about their loss or their memories. Sometimes people get stuck becuse of this. I know this because I have counselled people through lifeline through their grief and loss.
                In reading your journal I don't think this is a worry for you but I thought I would share.

                Good luck with the renovations

                Jackie
                Thank you, Jackie.
                Yes, I think the memorial service (a week from Saturday) will be a good thing. By then all the construction mess will be gone too. I think letting go of this house and letting go of my father kind of go hand in hand for me. He was so much a part of this place that he built and it was such a huge part of his identity. I think that it is fitting to put his ashes here.

                It somehow feels like losing your parents is the final stage in growing up. That moment when you realize that the elders of the tribe that you have always turned to for advice and counsel are not there anymore and YOU are now one of the elders that people look to. WHAM! That kind of hits you right in the face.

                Well, more Goodwill sorting to do today. I'm going to go through my kitchen stuff. No one person needs 8 spatulas. 2 maybe.
                Then I am going to tackle the closet. That isn't SO bad because, as I have changed sizes, I've gotten rid of stuff but there is still too much.

                Comment


                • Originally posted by Paleobird View Post
                  It's easy to be open to changes when you are up against a wall and have a choice between change or pain. But by then the damage is already done.

                  Marrissa, please google Johns Hopkins+ ketosis for some interesting reading about ketosis and seizure disorders. It might help your dad get off of some of his meds. Also the AtkinsForSeizures.com site is a good resource.
                  I will do that. Thank you for the resources!

                  Comment


                  • Thank you for sharing the story of your father and his journey. I need to think and hear about health being the centerpiece of this journey.
                    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread70684.html

                    Comment


                    • Glad to hear about the memorial service. The one for my Mom was so uplifting. My sons spoke and I sang. Also her friends told stories about her life. It was a very helpful part of the journey.
                      Primal since 9/24/2010
                      "Our greatest foes, and whom we must chiefly combat, are within." Miguel de Cervantes

                      Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Weight Loss Tools
                      MFP username: MDAPebbles67

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by MarissaLinnea View Post
                        I will do that. Thank you for the resources!
                        Tell him I have been able to reduce my Phenoarbitol by 25% while maintaining total seizure control due to ketosis. I plan on reducing further gradually. It works.

                        Originally posted by Kymma View Post
                        Thank you for sharing the story of your father and his journey. I need to think and hear about health being the centerpiece of this journey.
                        Yes, health. Long term health. Living past 100 health.

                        Originally posted by Pebbles67 View Post
                        Glad to hear about the memorial service. The one for my Mom was so uplifting. My sons spoke and I sang. Also her friends told stories about her life. It was a very helpful part of the journey.
                        Yes, I think it is a nice idea. I had been just going to take his ashes out surfing with me but then everyone else wanted a service and I figured that the togetherness of a group of people would help everyone. I was kind of just being selfish wanting to have it be just him and me catching one last wave together.

                        Comment


                        • Y'know, Robin, you could always take just a small portion of his ashes surfing with you, and bury the rest on the property.

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by Goldie View Post
                            Y'know, Robin, you could always take just a small portion of his ashes surfing with you, and bury the rest on the property.
                            True. If I took a ziploc baggie sized scoop out, nobody would ever know the difference.

                            Comment


                            • Originally posted by Goldie View Post
                              Y'know, Robin, you could always take just a small portion of his ashes surfing with you, and bury the rest on the property.
                              I was just going to suggest the same. The place that cremated him may even get you a scoop or two for you if you have any qualms - they are usually quite helpfull.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Mud Flinger View Post
                                I was just going to suggest the same. The place that cremated him may even get you a scoop or two for you if you have any qualms - they are usually quite helpfull.
                                Nah. I don't have any squeemishness about that. I changed his diapers when he was alive. Now that was difficult. Handling his ashes is not a big deal.

                                Well, I seem to have most of the "administrative" stuff wrapped up. (Contacted social security, his pension fund, bank account stuff, getting things that were on autopay like the utilities changed to my name and account, etc.) His HMO is still contacting him to confirm upcoming appointments. (Left hand, meet right hand.) It seems there is paperwork that follows us from the moment we are born until well after our deaths.

                                Tomorrow I have an appointment with a lawyer to get my own living trust re-written to reflect the changes in my life. I know we are all busy and death is not something that is easy to think about, but I really think everyone should "have their affairs in order". You never know when something could happen.

                                The fact that my Dad had already signed his house over and put me on as co-signer on his accounts just made things so much easier. In a time when people are dealing with grief, the last thing they need to hassle with are money matters. Also, if you trust someone well enough to do that as my Dad did with me, there is no inheritance tax involved. Why should the government get a big bite of the family nest egg just because someone passes away?

                                Comment

                                Working...
                                X