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Then I did the grocery shopping at two different stores and then sat in Starbucks (they have a franchise inside my local Vons) because I still had a half hour to spare before I had to be back. I found out that they do have heavy cream but they don't put it out, you have to ask for it.
FYI, Starbucks will make you a steamer (heated milk + flavor) with heavy cream if you ask. They charge extra, but it's GOOD.
Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.
I feel helpless - I'd love to come and support you, cook your dinner, put clean sheets on your bed. I know you're strong. I also know this is what you were preparing for when you came home from Kili. But that doesn't help now, and I'm just a stranger, thousands of miles away. All I can do is send love - and I do.
Sending prayers, hugs, and general good happy thoughts your way.
You guys are the best! Thank you all.
I'm going to pick up my sister at the airport then go back to see Dad.
There is bureaucratic crap that goes on all through our lives and apparently someone can't even die without a lot of red tape involved. When the EMT's took him to the hospital, it wasn't one that is in our HMO because a fall dictates the protocol of taking a person to a "trauma center". That, evidently is like and ER but with cooler machines which I guess could come in handy if someone had a spinal injury or a brain bleed and, given that he is on cumadin, bleeding cold be an issue. So we went to the trauma center, which has the upside of being in a hospital that is walking distance from my house.
Once they found out there was nothing broken or bleeding, the ICU wanted to get him out of there and transfer him to to my HMO hospital but they couldn't get an IV to stay in place. His veins kept collapsing and he kept pulling them out. Without an IV, he did not meet the qualifications of "Stable for Transport". So they didn't know what to do with him so they sent him upstairs to that hospital's "Comfort Care" ward which is basically hospice. He has a private room with a big window. There are no wires, tubes, needles, or beeping machines involved. And the people that work there are delightfully sweet and caring.
Then I have been on the phone getting the two organizations, my HMO and this other hospital to work things out and play nice so that we can just leave him where he is. I don't see the point in putting him through the ordeal of a gurney and a bumpy truck ride to another facility or to even bring him home. He is only dimly aware of his surroundings at this point. I doubt he knows where he is. As long as it is comfortable and calm, that's fine.
I finally got the right people who can make such decisions on the line and the HMO/other hospital are working out the details of who pays for what and he will be able to stay there. And it is a ten minute walk from here. I can walk home, have something to eat and go back instead of being relegated to bad cafeteria food.
My sister is scheduled to stay for a week (or as long as it takes I guess) so we will be able to trade off hours and both get some rest.
I think this is all working out well. I had my first really good night's sleep in a long time last night, knowing that he was being cared for well and that I was "off duty". I finally relaxed and really slept.
My sister is taking this really hard. I think she hasn't seen the daily progression like I have. The reality has all caught up with her at once. I've kind of been saying my goodbyes gradually over a matter of weeks. I've been keeping her up to date on the phone but that is not the same as really *seeing* the changes.
Writing about this is also helpful. Thank you all for listening to what I know is not nearly as fun a journal as when I'm climbing mountains. Your support means a lot to me.
Friends are not just for good times (even online friends). They also share, support and encourage in difficult times. Take care and know that your friends are keeping you company on this road, if not physically then with their thoughts and prayers.
PS I don't post often but yours is the only thread I read every day. I'm sure your Dad knows you're there. It is said that children chose the family they are born into. If that is so, then I think your Dad feels blessed that you chose to be part of his.
Original Goal: To lose weight. Achieved in March 2010
Long Term Goals: To continue using Primal guidlines to improve fitness and health. To share the Primal message.
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible - Judith Regan
Thanks for sharing PB, this is tough stuff but real life if we can all be so lucky.. FWIW, I think that just as we rejoice when a new baby is born to us on this side that the angels sing to welcome us back home when we leave and go back from where we came.
As with the others, our thoughts here are with you quite a bit. Even Hawk keeps asking questions about what is going on (he likes to hear repeats of the story, ask questions like "but why is it happening?"), and so you are close to us here, even though we are all far away from each other.
Hi Paleobird, I'm on TDY to Washington DC right now, so haven't been checking for the past few weeks, so sorry to hear the news. Am happy that the hospice center is working out. My thoughts and prayers are with you.