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Finding my healthy self after 2 kids

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  • I'm sure this is all in my head, but I had to practically choke down breakfast despite being quite hungry. Fresh prganic spinach, red peppers, 1 organic egg, and part of an orange. Really not much food. I made 6 eggs this morning intending to eat 2-3, but after a couple bites I was hoping my son would have a hungry morning and he ate 4 eggs (he's 2.5)! Stomach is making noises now, maybe I'm getting sick?

    No stamina at soccer last night and felt very slow. What is going on with my body?!


    • Well, my period showed up. It's amazing how torn I feel about this. But now we keep moving forward. Which means from now until 3/21 I'm going to pay close attention to what my body needs and stay away from treats. I'm going to eat as many organic things as possible within our budget. I ordered an organic chicken from our CSA and I'm looking forward to cooking that for dinner on Sunday. Already planned the meals for next week as well. Will definitely be getting in my weight lifting tomorrow and am hoping for a bonus session on Monday since DH has the day off. I also hope to start getting outside with the kids more as the weather warms up.
      I wrote and sent DH a letter today about everything I've been feeling lately. I might regret sending it later, but I really needed to say it all. I can't keep pretending like everything is okay. My MIL asked about us coming over this weekend. She says she "understands" how tough it is when working opposite schedules but then pushes us to spend time with them. If she really got it, she would understand that Sunday is our only day as a family. Even though there is no school Monday, DH still has practice in the morning and the kids have gymnastics. Saturdays are practice in the morning, store in the afternoon. I don't want to spend Sunday at her house right now and I don't want her cooking. Especially now that we are trying to take control over the chemicals. I don't like how she cooks things or the food she chooses. And in case anyone is reading this, she wants us there, having them here just wouldn't be the same. I don't like going over there because I have to watch my kids constantly as well. Not to mention they feel the need to just have the TV on. She had it on while they ate dinner last time she babysat! No wonder the kids were up at the crack of dawn the next day - they don't need any more distractions while eating. Some days I want to just pack up my family and move away from everyone. Go find a small cabin in the woods where we could grow our own food, raise our own animals and not have to deal with other people. She was just here 2 weeks ago to babysit - 2.5 hours with the kids all to herself. So it's not about spending time with the kids. I don't understand the desire to have the kids there, especially since she spends the time cooking and having them watch TV. And then we have to eat what she thinks is good food. Perhaps once the weather is nicer and we can grill. But then I have to worry about the kids in their yard. DS got stung by a bee and FIL didn't even believe him although his hand was all puffy and red. Gah, I have to stop thinking about all of this. I would really like to go lift or go for a long run with some music blasting right now. But the kids are asleep in their bed. I suppose I'll get some work done so I can go to be at a reasonable hour tonight.
      Sorry for the rambling.


      • Weighed in at 173 this morning. One cool thing when I was weighing myself... I can see the scale without leaning one way or the other! I have to look between my boobs, but my belly is finally flat enough. Somewhat amazing since this is the second day of my cycle! Hoping to be down even lower next week with the clean eating I am planning.

        Got in a great workout this afternoon as well. Definitely stuck at some of the weights, but they're solid numbers so it's not so terrible. Will try again next week to see if I can break through when not menstruating. 3x5 of everything but only one set for deadlift

        Squat - 125lbs - fine
        Lat Pull - 77.5 - very tough
        Bench - 100 - could only do 3 reps at 105 so dropped down for the rest
        Deadlift - 155 - couldn't get the bar off the supports to even start at 160. my hands appear too weak to hold the bar past 155 so this will take some time to strengthen my grip. warmer weather so I don't have to wear gloves should help as well.

        While I'm not focusing on weight loss any more, it's very nice to see the scale moving lower. I am hoping to be rid of most of the jiggle around my stomach by the time summer arrives. I will continue to lift on Saturdays and play at the park when it's warm enough and hope that's enough. After this session I'm thinking I will drop back to one soccer league. I'm considering getting back into the New Rules of Lifting for Women once DH is done coaching track.

        Wrote an email to DH last night and he wrote back. We talked a little last night but more today. I think we're in a better place now and ready to move forward. Might need to start renting a move on Saturday nights as something to do together. Too bad everything out is always garbage! Feeling less stressed now though, which hopefully let my body settle down more.


        • Started Wendler's 5/3/1 today. I'm going to see if I can sneak a second day in during the week for 2 day a week schedule. But otherwise it'll just take me 8 weeks to get through the program. I'm not in a hurry to increase my lifts, so that will be okay. I like how it's a very quick workout. I can already feel it in my legs though.

          Might be related to having sex twice today though too. It seems my sex drive is finally returning!


          • Hi! I just wanted to say that I feel like I can relate to your story... I just turned 30 in January. I have two kids- boys ages 5 and 7, so I started a little earlier Also, my husband and I are both teachers.

            I'm 5'5'' and started this journey at over 180. Now I'm down to 160. You are definitely ahead of me on the fitness side of things, though. I did my first sprint today and only got through 4 out of the 6 I had planned before I decided to take a long walk to cool down. Congratulations on your progress!


            • Originally posted by lockettlodge View Post
              Hi! I just wanted to say that I feel like I can relate to your story... I just turned 30 in January. I have two kids- boys ages 5 and 7, so I started a little earlier Also, my husband and I are both teachers.

              I'm 5'5'' and started this journey at over 180. Now I'm down to 160. You are definitely ahead of me on the fitness side of things, though. I did my first sprint today and only got through 4 out of the 6 I had planned before I decided to take a long walk to cool down. Congratulations on your progress!
              Thanks for stopping by! I played soccer in college so I've always been in decent shape. I love feeling strong and that motivates me to keep going. Make it your goal to add 1 more sprint next time you go out. Adding a little more each time lead to big gains over time.


              • So a little sore today in my lower body. My back is acting up and I can't figure out why. I think I just need to push through and build it stronger though. Looking like I might be able to fit in a second day of lifting tomorrow night. Depends on my tutoring schedule of course. But it would be nice to fit that in. I should be able to get in 2 days next week since DH will have Monday off as well.

                Hoping for a good week with the kids as we head into March!


                • Completed a second day this week, so did deadlift and shoulder press. My lower back is really bothering me, so I'm hoping that by strengthening it I can feel better. No more lifting again until Saturday to give my body time to recover. Will likely only be playing soccer once this week as well since DH has a meet on Thursday and it looks like my game isn't until 9. Supposed to get some snow tomorrow, so should get some exercise in shoveling too.


                  • Got in my lifting yesterday - round 2 of squats and bench. Somehow I'm up about 2lbs this week though. I was bugging DH about him not eating enough last night - he'll skip meals then be super tired and get sick. His response to me? I'm worried about you too... you've been losing a lot of weight lately. I thought he was saying it in jest, since I haven't lost anything except the same 2lbs since the beginning of December. But he continued, saying my stomach was getting small. I agree, I'm getting slimmer as my jeans fitting better and I have a new (old, smaller) pair I fit into now! So I'm thinking of switching to only weighing once a month. I'm getting stronger and feeling better, so I don't really care about the number on the scale. I'm never going to get to a weight that puts me at a "normal" BMI, especially as I continue to lift. That would require a 32lb from yesterday's weigh in. Maybe in 5yrs or something, but I've never been under upper 150's since I can remember.

                    My littlest is using the potty now, so I'm done with diapers except at night. Such a wonderful feeling and I'm so proud of him to get here before he turns 3!

                    And so we soldier on.


                    • Round 2 for the week complete... dead and push. Realized after the first set of push press that I was doing the wrong number of reps! Oops. Should make next week's work out with 3 sets of 1 a bit easier though I suspect. My lower back is still bothering me a bit, I don't know what to make of it. Definitely not as bad as last week though, so perhaps it's working on healing itself. No more lifting until at least Saturday, so a bit of a break. Although will have 2 soccer games this week!


                      • Squeezed in both lifting sessions this weekend. Looks to be a busy week, so didn't want to take the chance of missing. Did well on all the heavy lifts, completing 3 reps on the last set for squat, bench, and dead and 5 reps for press. Everything seems to be progressing pretty well. I also went for a short run before lifting today. The weather was warmer and I wanted to be sure my muscles were warm for dead lifting a heavy weight. While I have nothing to compare it to, being a brand new route as I hadn't gone running since we moved, I was happy to make it around the block without stopping. I just looked at gmaps and it was just under a mile. Either I'm in much better shape or the lack of hills makes that much of a difference. In any case, it was nice to feel strong. I also have been looking at my muscles a bit more lately. It seems to me that the layer of fat is growing smaller and everything is tightening up. Clothes are fitting better/looser.

                        I've been having some trouble with my stomach lately and I can't figure it out. I'm going to see if eliminating sugar this week helps. It might just be my body trying to build muscle and burn fat. I've been doing more IFing lately to try and get my stomach more under control. It continues to be amazing to me that I can go for long periods without eating because about a year ago I could rarely go more than 3 hours.

                        We joined Costco last night and bought some of their organic foods. I'm excited to get more organic things into my kids. They loved the raisins today and we had organic broccoli for dinner. We bought some snack foods we hadn't been buying, but I'd been thinking lately that we needed to get more snack foods for the kids. This back fired slightly as DS didn't eat dinner tonight because he was full on almonds and raisins. Definitely will go with a smaller amount tomorrow. His appetite is so hit or miss these days! I really just need to get some weight on these kids... DS is under 30 (3 in May) and DD is under 40 (5 in April). It will be interesting to see what the new doctor says next month!


                        • Winning DH over a little more! We bought organic brocolli and green beans (both frozen) at Costco. DH's response... we need to eat the old stuff and never go back! We can taste the difference. We also bought some beef jerky and he seems to be gravitating towards that as a snack. So once we can afford to make enough food each week to provide him with dinner leftovers for lunch, he'll basically be fully on bard. This will be so nice, and I wonder if he'll gain more energy once we can. Summer should be much easier to fully make this transition as well. Still praying he gets a new job for the fall to make all of this financially easier on us.


                          • I may be just about to break my 173 plateau with a loss next week. 2 out of the last 3 days I've weighed in at 172.8. And I'm due to start my period any day now. So that's pretty exciting. I also think I'm retaining a little extra water right now as I heal from taking a shot to face/arm on Thursday night at soccer. My left arm has a solid bruise and my left eyebrow hurts to be touched.

                            I got in the first half of the 4th round of Wendler's 531 today. Of course the weights felt quite easy, but it also was good to really focus on form at the lower weights. I think my body will appreciate a fairly light week this week as well. I'll get the second half in over the next few days.

                            I looked at myself in the mirror before taking a shower, and for the first time in a long time I liked what I saw. I could only see from my chest up, but that's always been my favorite part of my body. I still had my sports bra on from lifting, but could see my sculpted shoulders and my face is looking thinner as well. Seeing this makes me very excited that warm weather is around the corner. For the first time in many years I'm looking forward again to wearing my tank tops and sleeveless shirts to show off my upper body. And hopefully with more time I can start to lose more fat and get closer to a sculpted look on the bottom third of my body. I've definitely made a lot of progress and I'm looking forward to continuing to watch my transformations.


                            • Definitely don't know what's up with the scale lately, or for that matter my body. Have had a weird appetite lately and been pretty sore. Hadn't lifted today since last Saturday though, so not sure why I was so sore. Maybe my body was wondering why I wasn't lifting? Very strange and not fun.

                              Did get in lifting today... day 1 week 1 of round 2. Plus added most of the PBF body weight stuff. Have to modify for pull-ups since I can't do any and I use a chair for assistance due to mushy ground. So I hung from the tree and tried to pull up as many times as possible. I couldn't finish the planks either, was just drained. Powered through push-ups just fine though, so if I get through them again will go up to the next level. I was doing it wrong before. So now, if I get through the exercise 2 times in a row, I will progress to the next level in PBF. This should help to challenge my body a bit more.

                              My plan for the next week is:
                              Today: Squats, PBF
                              Sun: Bench
                              Mon: Dead, PBF
                              Tu: Push press
                              Wed: Rest
                              Th: Soccer
                              Fri: Rest

                              It's looking like nicer weather is headed in our direction so we should be able to head to the park or at least play in the yard more. This should allow me to space out my workouts to lifting 1 type per day and trying to get in 2 rounds of PBF each week. If things get tight I'll switch to lifting 2x/week and PBF in between days. We'll see how things progress this Spring. I'm so excited for the weather to be in the 40's it's kind of ridiculous.


                              • Fit in day 3 lifting today - deadlift @135, 145, 155 x5,5,6. I skipped doing PBF because I'm still sore from Saturday. So I may wait on that for a bit. I think I might start doing PBF once a week on Thursdays once I go to Wednesday only soccer. Definitely nice to feel stronger.

                                I borrowed my MIL's sewing machine and made DD my first skirt ever. Definitely have some improvements to make in the future. But she loves it and can't wait to wear it tomorrow. I'm looking forward to making her more in the future and consider getting my own sewing machine. We'll see if making my skirt goes as smoothly!