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Primal Journal - Siobhan

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  • Nothing like having close calls and unusual things going on one after the other to wear you out completely. I hope you get some good sleep and that you can get the car fixed soon! Very nice of your landlord to help out with a ride etc. You are blessed and soooo glad that nothing fell on the house!! Whew! You are in our prayers ... hang in there!
    Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
    Primal low: 186 lbs
    Current weight: 221.4 lbs
    Goal weight: 140 lbs

    "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

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    • After sleeping (sort of) for a couple of hours, I woke up to discover the power is back on. Took a long hot shower. Ate some of the tapioca bread I bought last week. Meh. Am going to take the car in shortly and get a rental car. The car is horrifically expensive. Once again, living on a rural peninsula is biting me in the wallet. Oh well, I have to pay to live in paradise. I need to get this behind me, it is so stressful - not knowing what is wrong with the car, how much it will cost, when it can be fixed. There is no alternative transport here and I am totally dependent on having a car.

      I don't want to post my landlord's name here as that would be an invasion of his privacy, but if anyone is reading this and is so inclined, say a prayer for him - a retired surgeon in Mid-Coast Maine - he has been unbelievably helpful and kind. Without him to help me I would probably be lying in a fetal position under my bed. I was telling a friend (on the phone) how good he is being and how guilty I feel accepting help, indeed asking for help. She told me, very wisely, that my purpose in life at this moment is to graciously accept assistance and in doing so allow others, such the landlord, to provide service which is good for their soul and their own happiness and satisfaction. One cannot always be on the giving side, one must take a turn at receiving.
      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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      • yes - sometimes we must bless others by allowing them to serve us. Its a backwards way of thinking for people who are natural servers. My husband is a perfect example - he would much rather serve me than be served - and I have to constantly remind him that I enjoy doing things for him. You're landlord sounds like a huge blessing to you -- accept it graciously. I'm sure a time will come when you will be able to repay the kindness.

        I hope the car repair is quick and not to terribly painful to the wallet.

        We've been watching the news to see what is happening in your world.......... wow. Its humbling to realize the power of nature! And I do have to wonder why God allows such fierce storms to fall on us and cause such death and destruction. As we watch the news we are reminded of the end times prophecy of crazy weather.........

        don't mean to get all biblical here.......... but I do believe we are seeing these things come to pass.
        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
        2. Eat to heal
        3. Move to live
        4. Embrace today
        5. Live with intention
        6. Respect my body
        7. Cultivate joy
        8. Find my passion
        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

        Comment


        • Okay. So I took my car in and got a rental car. This is the kinda weird part. The woman I rented the car from is running for state representative. Now, the incumbent is a personal friend of mine, goes to my church, and already received my vote. But let me tell you, I wouldn't vote for her if she was running for garbage collector (no offense to those who perform this important job). Totally incompetent on every level. Can't even take a phone call properly. Comes in late. Leaves early. Doesn't know the pricing. Doesn't know how the insurance works. Eff.

          It will all be okay in the end. They have looked at my car, it needs rear struts. $600. Okay, I need new struts. It's all good.
          My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

          "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

          Comment


          • It certainly does sound like a stressful couple of days. And if it is more blessed to give than to receive, we have to let others have a chance to get blessed too. Seriously. It is sometimes a difficult thing for us, to receive graciously, but it is an important thing to do. Just thank God that somebody is there for you.
            5'2", 55 years, Primal since April. Pre-Primal weight loss, from 216.6 to 157.8
            Primal low: 140.2 (Dec. 3) Goal weight: 135?
            Main Primal goal: beating back my CFS enough to function more normally and start writing again

            More and more, our life has been governed by specialists, who know too little of what lies outside their province to be able to know enough about what takes place within it.
            - Lewis Mumford

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            • I am so hoping this is over and I can get back to normal. The road is not only open but completely fixed, including the place where people had worn out the shoulder by driving on it to avoid the barricades. The power is here to stay, hurray! That I should have a car repair at the same time as a natural disaster is just bad luck, but turned out okay. I feel a little guilty about being stressed when others are really, really suffering. However I always counsel my friends that other people's suffering does not negate your own feelings, which need to be validated and felt before they can be gotten past, so I am doing the same myself. I am so fortunate to have people to help me!

              Since it is Halloween I have been listening to scary radio programs - Snap Judgment has some good ones! I've heard so many ghost stories they have lost their effect. After the twentieth one, they stop being scary. But I might see what Radiolab has to offer...just poured a glass of wine.

              I had a mushroom omelet for dinner, very nice it was too.

              I love electricity!
              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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              • Will definitely say a prayer for your landlord! So very glad for you that you had him to help! What a blessing! And may he be blessed in return! My hubby is much quicker to give and has a hard time receiving - I am always telling him to let others bless him too Not easy I know! Yay for electricity and tolerable car repairs. Hope you get some good rest the next few days and maybe a really good workout will help to sort out the remaining jitters - sweat it out and leave it behind!
                Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                Primal low: 186 lbs
                Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                Goal weight: 140 lbs

                "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

                Comment


                • Happy for you that things turned out okay in the end. Your landlord deserves a hug, or perhaps a batch of primal baking.

                  Yeah, sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and accept the help. If it was you doing the giving, you wouldn't expect anything in return, would you? It's just what you do when it needs doing. He's obviously of the same mindset.
                  My musings

                  The old stuff

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                  • Thanks all, for your encouraging comments! You are all right, as a friend of mine said yesterday - a friend who also knows my landlord well. She told me to let him help me, to not hesitate to ask when I need something. He is an old-fashioned gentleman, and also a deeply religious man as well as an ambitious, success-oriented person. He enjoys doing things for others at a very deep spiritual level, and relishes the opportunity to be useful and solve problems. As hard as it is for me to ask for help, I know she is right.

                    (For anyone reading this who doesn't know - my landlord is 85 years ago, gay, and lives with his partner. So there aren't any - you know - expectations.)
                    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                    Comment


                    • On this Day of the Dead, I offer this 'true' story from my own experience -

                      I live in a lovely but impoverished area of mid-coast Maine, a place with a long history for these shores. The hospital where I work 12-hour night shifts has been developed piecemeal over the last 50 years, with parts of the hospital dating back to those days, and virtually all of the building now used for a different purpose than originally designed.

                      During the day, the hospital is a busy place, hundreds of people coming and going, many visitors, day patients, business meetings, etc. At night the population drops dramatically, just the patients and the staff that cares for them as well as the usually busy Emergency Department.

                      One night I had to take some filing into the Outpatient Surgery department. This area is down a hallway that is virtually deserted at night. During the day it is filled with patients having routine, relatively simple procedures. They are prepped in this area, and after the procedure they spend a short time recovering here and then go home. At one time this area was a regular hospital ward, with patients lined up in beds around the wall as used to be common but is unheard of these days.

                      I frequently went there at night to do a bit of filing. It was always dark and deserted, and I easily did the filing just using the emergency lights. But this night when I walked in, I saw a patient in a bed - not sleeping or resting, but thrashing around. I was astounded, not just to find someone there, but apparently alone. I approached the bed, calling for help - I don't remember exactly what I said, but something like, "I need some help here! What is going on?" As I reached the bed I looked away, hoping to see a nurse or aide, and when I looked back...the bed was empty. Empty and made up for the next day, just as it should be.

                      I stood there for some time, my mind just blank. What had I seen? Had I imagined it? Some kind of prank? Eventually I filed the papers and went back to my duties.

                      This being Maine, ghost stories are considered fairly normal. The next morning when my co-workers came in and I when I gave report, I included the incident in the night. They listened with a level of attention that I rarely received while passing on the usual mundane facts. One of my co-workers has worked at that hospital for nearly 30 years. After I finished the story, she said told me that area had been a general ward for some years, and then had been an ICU in the very early days when that department was being developed, before it moved to the new and more modern wing.

                      I'm really not sure what I experienced - a memory, an hallucination, some kind of weird image from the past? Or as Dickens might have said, a bit of undigested potato?
                      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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                      • Hey! I just weighed myself for the first time in a week or so - 136.5! A new low! This is pretty exciting because the scale hasn't moved for awhile.
                        My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                        "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                        Comment


                        • Nice ghost story I believe those things happen - but not sure exactly what kind of spirit is behind it all. I've have things happen out in our shop (circa 1940) that are a bit weird. Was touched on the shoulder once, hard enough to know it was definitely a touch. And had my hair "swished" in the back (I had hair down the middle of back), and swished so hard that I could see it out of the corner of my eye. No windows open so not the wind. I just acknowledged that I was not alone (outloud) and I have never been bothered again. But when I go into the shop I feel like I'm in someone else's space.

                          Yeah for the new low! Your new number is my ultimate goal!
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                          Comment


                          • I've never seen a ghost, to my knowledge. I've felt them, but that's it. I do know my in laws have a benign spectre in their library (what used to be a kitchen in a duplex), but the most you see of her is a reflection in glass or a "you done good" feeling if you acknowledge her presence. She seems fairly harmless. We kinda figure she made a promise to someone or hasn't figured out how to take the next step.
                            Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
                            My Latest Journal

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                            • Mark's post today nearly made me cry. So timely! It takes a village...or a tribe.
                              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                              Comment


                              • Hi, I've been in Minneapolis since Tuesday and only limited access to the internet. I left my iPad at home so SWMBO and Boy could use it until the battery died since we were without power.

                                Sorry to hear about your various trials and glad your Kitty is better. Speaking as a landlord of a single woman, I do my best to help her out any way possible. She's a good tenant and I appreciate her being there, she watches the house for us and feeds fat kitty when we're away. So when she needs help with something, I'm happy to. No Expectations.

                                Well, we got our power on last night, SWMBO texted me. She was cold and exhausted and considering (at my urging) to move into a hotel for a couple of days. But the power came on before she had to make the decision. So I guess its safe for me to return! :-)

                                I sort of envy (in an odd way) your ghost story. I've never had any kind of paranormal experience. Theater has always been a passion of mine, and I love designing and building scenery. I don't do it very much anymore but hope to when I retire. I've been in dozens of theaters all night long working alone and several of them were supposed to be haunted. But I never saw, felt, or sensed anything. If ever there was a good place for a ghost, it would be walking around the fly gallery of an old, Victorian theater at three in the morning.
                                Height: 5' 10"
                                Starting Weight: 292
                                Starting Primal Weight: 275
                                Current weight: 224
                                Goal weight: 172
                                Body Fat 30.5

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