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Primal Journal - Siobhan

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  • More about the TRX since you all seem interested:

    The instructor was great. He helped me a lot but didn't make me feel weird. He's kind of the perfect fitness instructor, a big happy non-threatening guy, funny and self-deprecating. One of my co-workers knows him well and likes him a lot too.

    The exercises are all familiar movements, triceps (done standing, very clever), biceps, rows, plank, leg press, etc. A practically infinite variety is possible, and I am sure that people do very different workouts for different goals. Everything is both really easy and really hard at the same time. At my Y, a class is $3 and worth every cent and a lot more. With only three people in the class I got a lot of personal attention. Am super pleased that my swimming seems to be keeping me pretty fit although I certainly don't look like a gym rat.
    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

    Comment


    • Rather dull K update:

      As I mentioned, I sent him a bland text, hope you had a nice weekend, hope Cancer Guy is okay, crazy stuff at hospital involving naked patients, etc. I felt it would be less awkward if we have some sort of communication before I see him at work but I was really worried he wouldn't respond because that would be even more awkward. But he texted back with an equally bland message about his daughter's swim banquet, Cancer Guy's son coming around, etc. So I feel better and am more relaxed about how this will play out at work.

      As far as it being over, I have absolutely no freakin' idea what is going on and I don't really even know how I feel about it. But I can't waste much energy worrying about it. I'm horrible at any type of gameplaying or flirting so whatever is going to happen is going to happen without me pursuing him but not running away either.
      My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

      "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

      Comment


      • I think at this point you're "stand" is the right one. You don't want to hold up the "talk to the hand" gesture - nor do you want to be the needy, aggressor. Since he was the one to cancel your date - then he should be the one to instigate the next one. After all he did say "I'll make it up to you" ............ right? Plus - staying neutral is a safe place emotionally for you to be.

        That being said - I think the radio call in was a good idea - just to validate the feelings you do have.

        We should all be so well balanced
        1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
        2. Eat to heal
        3. Move to live
        4. Embrace today
        5. Live with intention
        6. Respect my body
        7. Cultivate joy
        8. Find my passion
        9. Meditate on peace in my soul

        Comment


        • I really like the radio guy. I agree with him, you do need a guy to love.

          Your swimming is really paying off with all of the new exercises. You will have to show us your hot body soon. I remember some pics and choir pics, you were tiny, now there will be muscles

          Comment


          • Originally posted by tomi View Post
            I think at this point you're "stand" is the right one. You don't want to hold up the "talk to the hand" gesture - nor do you want to be the needy, aggressor. Since he was the one to cancel your date - then he should be the one to instigate the next one. After all he did say "I'll make it up to you" ............ right? Plus - staying neutral is a safe place emotionally for you to be.

            That being said - I think the radio call in was a good idea - just to validate the feelings you do have.

            We should all be so well balanced
            Thanks for that, tomi. It helps so much to be able to talk about this stuff here, because I certainly can't do it IRL. I hasten to add that my radio friend did not identify me on the air in any way. He's been doing radio for 40 years and knows how to do these things.

            Feeling a lot more balanced tonight for certain!
            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

            Comment


            • Originally posted by JudyCr View Post
              I really like the radio guy. I agree with him, you do need a guy to love.

              Your swimming is really paying off with all of the new exercises. You will have to show us your hot body soon. I remember some pics and choir pics, you were tiny, now there will be muscles
              He is a GREAT guy, taken of course!

              Oddly I have been thinking I would like to have a picture or two - a good one. The thing is I wish I had more pics of myself throughout my life. Some periods I have quite a few but for most of it I don't have any. Virtually none from the last 10 years. Especially as I am entering either mid-middle age or late middle age I would like some documentary evidence.
              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

              Comment


              • Lol at the dramatic host. True, but funny. I feel that love from a single person is great and all, but love from many is what builds a real community, support, and self... Something. Meh. Words.

                I want a bike again, and I want to bike to work and groceries and stuff. The only problem is too many groceries! And I'm the type of person to think, well, I've got too legs already, what do I need two wheels for? Carrying them home dumby lol. There is a possibility I might not get to go to America on time, and I'm pretty upset about it. ://

                Good to hear about her recovery! I like good news lol!

                Comment


                • Thoughts on growing old:

                  Even though I will turn 55 this year, honestly I feel better than I ever remember feeling, certainly better than I have felt since puberty hit at age 13. When I was a young adult I was always beating myself up with chronic cardio, was always tired and sore. Now I am probably burning as many calories through exercise as I did then but I'm not wearing myself out and I am having a much, much happier time with exercise instead of trying to sweat and burn as many calories as possible. Now I try to be outside, in water, or having fun. When I was in my 20's and 30's and arguably at my most attractive, I constantly worried about not being pretty enough or thin enough, and I attributed all of my failings to those two things. What a frickin' waste. The really sad thing is that I was far from alone in this. I'm only taking 80% of the blame, though as society definitely reinforced this stereotype.

                  Okay, enough of that waxing philosophical crap. I have been looking at bikes, researching bikes, and getting a little discouraged at how expensive bikes are. I am going to look at used bikes, but from what I see online nice used bikes in my size are few and far between. I am going to explore some local bike shops and also mine my co-workers for info. I'm not going to rush into anything as this is a major purchase.

                  Had two hard boiled eggs for brekkie. Just felt like it. Off to the pool.
                  My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                  "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                  Comment


                  • Since April is National Poetry Month, I had planned to present poetry every day but obviously I am behind schedule! I am a great admirer of Rainer Maria Rilke:

                    The experience of loving, that now disappoints so many, can actually change and be transformed from the ground up into the building of a relationship between two human beings, not just a man and a woman. And this more authentic love will be evident in the utterly considerate, gentle, and clear manner of its binding and releasing. It will resemble what we now struggle to prepare: the love that consists of two solitudes which border, protect, and greet each other.

                    Rome, May 14, 1904
                    Letters to a Young Poet

                    Yes, I know it isn't a poem. It's very poetic, though.
                    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                    Comment


                    • I wasn't able to stop by the forum for a while. I left before the big date, thought about you, hopefully enjoying yourself on Wednesday evening, and was finally able to log in today, only to read about the let-down.

                      I'm sorry you were disappointed like that.

                      It may not start up again, but remember, sometimes it really ISN'T about you. Maybe he is having a horrible time dealing with his friend/something else. Doesn't even feel like talking about it, or maybe doesn't even recognize that he is having a hard time. Just knows that doing the basics that we think of as polite steps in a relationship-calls, texts, whatever- is beyond him right now.

                      I say this as someone who has been overwhelmed these last two weeks. Haven't gotten to the forums I enjoy, haven't paid bills, etc. Sometimes life is just hard for a little while.

                      I'm glad you sent the casual text. Whether you continue as a work-colleague, or something more, to K, it was a good move.

                      And good job throwing yourself into positive activities. No moping for our Siobhan!

                      Comment


                      • Thank you so much, Sabine. I think you are spot-on. It occurred to me sometime over the last day or two that he is not even aware of how disappointed I was, doesn't realize I would appreciate hearing from him, etc. And I know that he IS having a hard time. I haven't worried about anyone but myself (other than my mom) for so long that I don't remember what it is like. And K reminds me of my brother, not in an icky way, but in a general way - my brother is also outgoing, social, and very well-liked at work and has loyal long term friends, but he is utterly clueless about women. I wonder if K doesn't suffer from the clueless part also.

                        Anyway, had a great swim, my stroke is coming along very well and I pleased to be swimming better and longer. I am getting much better at breathing on the left as well as the right, although I still tire more easily breathing on the left. I will persevere.
                        My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                        "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                        Comment


                        • Just to play the other side of the fence for a minute........... if K is having a hard time - with cancer friend (I assume) - maybe he needs a little nurturing? Maybe he needs someone to come along and lift him up - be his support?

                          Just a thought..............
                          1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                          2. Eat to heal
                          3. Move to live
                          4. Embrace today
                          5. Live with intention
                          6. Respect my body
                          7. Cultivate joy
                          8. Find my passion
                          9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                          Comment


                          • He probably does, but I can't drop by on a weekend when he has his daughter, and I've been working the rest of the time.

                            I'm at work, been very busy. Regalling everyone with stories of naked parking lot tackles. I have a rapt audience. The story is probably growing in the telling!

                            My DOMS is all gone from my workout on Friday - the last traces disappeared this afternoon. I am anxious to work on getting some more! I wish I could go tomorrow but it's not possible because of timing.

                            I am wishing I hadn't gone for choir this spring. I love the Faure Requiem but the rest of the program is not to my taste AT ALL. It's all schmaltzy crap. We're doing Getting To Know You from the Sound of Music. Please. It's A Grand Night for Singing. (Marginally better) Some pieces from a comic opera called The Fortune-Teller. Just icky. Some animal songs by Eric Whitacre. (Okay stuff) It's torture for me. I only want to sing classical pieces or a lot closer to classical than these. These make me barf. If I want to sing this crap I can do karaoke on YouTube.
                            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                            Comment


                            • Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky.

                              Rainer Maria Rilke
                              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                              Comment


                              • Well, K should be here in an hour or so and I am filled with dread. I feel like he is going to say something awful to me. That is completely absurd but I can't wait to get this over with. Yes, I know I am stupid. Oh well.

                                Very, very busy night here, I have earned my keep.
                                My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                                "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                                Comment

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