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Primal Journal - Siobhan

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  • We are definitely on the same page! The steaks are coming to room temp, the mushrooms are simmering, and the wine is uncorked. Maybe it was all too soon anyway. To be fair, I knew about the cancer thing, he has said a couple of times in the past weeks that he is worried about that taking up a lot of his time. But there is not going to be an invite over here for awhile. (Presuming he is not just giving me the old heave ho.)

    Just came back from hot yoga. Probably the worst yoga class I ever attended. I'm an experienced yoga practitioner and I never knew what I was supposed to be doing. Weird combo of drill sergeant and om shanti. Actually wasn't hot either, although the room was plenty warm. Lots of talking but not much useful direction. Also some of that weird stuff about healing people from the bondage of their own traumatic births through yoga, etc. Also weird - she didn't give any modifications and seemed to think we can all do the absolute max immediately. Lots of shouting "Get there! Get there!" Didn't seem to see it as a journey! And as a respiratory therapist I can tell with utter certainty that proper breathing will NOT keep you from hurting your knees or back. That said, I would go back. She can yell at me all day, I'll just do my own thing. Pretty serious bodyweight exercises, I should pursue it.

    Anyway.
    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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    • That yoga class sounds strange indeed. Far from any I have attended. Bummed to hear you are not having that special dinner tonight, well I guess you are in a way. Enjoy the meal and the company of your feline family. If he is a really good guy, he will come up with a good "make it up to you" plan. If it were me, I would be stepping back and bit and letting him put forth the next effort. Most definitely his loss.
      This is my journal page!
      http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread100547.html

      My life's work: www.questtheawakening.com

      "Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right!" The Grateful Dead

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      • Yeah, I never had a class even close to that one! Weird. Been a weird day all around. He's going to have to work a little to get me interested again.

        You guys know you are the best, right? You are! Seriously, all of you are fantastic and you have no idea how much you are helping me. Okay, I will stop being sappy now.
        My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

        "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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        • Originally posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
          I've been thinking (it's been a kinda slow day) about what, realistically, would make me cancel last-minute to a woman saying "I'm going to cook you steak, give you wine, and then ride you like a Tilt-a-Whirl". Maaaaaaybe if I had to get a leg amputated that afternoon.

          Maybe.
          Well, I am a sap, and you deserve a great guy.. This ^ from Mr. A made me nearly spit hot tea on iPad even tho I was miffed at Mr. K.

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          • You have no idea how hard I laughed at that. That is a truly epic post.
            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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            • You won't believe how I've spent my evening. Yes, the science programs. A friend called and asked me to cut pics out of magazines for use in her prison art program. Inmates can't have scissors. So instead of a wild night of romance, I am watching TV and cutting out pictures of dogs, food, cars, etc. from old magazines. I have a huge stack in my car that I am leaving around places that welcome them. This is a better use.

              One thing that has come out of this - I am so thrilled to have my place cleaned up! Oh, I still have plenty to clean. Lots of drawers and four closets. But at least everywhere I look is nice.
              My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

              "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

              Comment


              • Bummer, triple bummer, about your evening I guess we'll all (we're all in this with you like it or not) sit back and wait to see what K does to make this better. Definitely time for him to make the effort - and yet it is tough with the cancer situation. I hope your bruised ego mends overnight and that you have a great sleep! I love the sound of all the cleaning you've been doing - I think I have a move coming up real soon so will soon be packing and cleaning like a mad woman. Enjoy the clean place ... and give those felines a scratch under the chin from me ...
                Start weight: 225.5 lbs Feb 14th 2012. Height: 5'7"
                Primal low: 186 lbs
                Current weight: 221.4 lbs
                Goal weight: 140 lbs

                "You are free to choose, BUT you are not free from the consequences of your choices."

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                • Slept really well and woke up happy despite my rather excruciating roller coaster of a yesterday. In all the drama I didn't mention that I had a really good talk with my boss. I stopped in there because I am rarely around during the day and I never see him. But we talked about some new things we could be doing in patient care and he was very complimentary to me, told me he hears nothing but good about my work and that I am a valuable member of the team etc. (Yes, I realize this and $2 gets me a ride on the MBTA, but I'll take it anyway. Better than him telling me I'm a loser and I need to step it up.) Despite my whining I do enjoy my job - I don't love it, I enjoy it - and I recognize the role my job plays in my life, which is that it provides a day-to-day focus and anchor that I need - which all of us need in some form.

                  And I might as well own the pejorative and take it for myself - I am in fact a crazy cat lady. Human males don't appear to be too interested in spending time in my bed but the feline males had no problem piling in as usual. I was lying in bed with those warm furry beating hearts all around me and I thought "This is why people have pets." I keep thinking about having a dog, although that is not practical right now. I keep thinking about a Brittany. I had two of these terrific dogs years ago, maybe the best pet I ever had. This is a picture of one:



                  Not a small dog, and not a big one. Mine weighed around 35 lbs, a size that is easy to pick up although not to carry very far. (I have a story or two involving that process.) Great companion, great indoor dog yet very energetic outside. Possibly not as horribly overbred as other dogs I have seen. But not now, just not a good idea.

                  Dinner was great last night! Ribeye, roasted potatoes, salad, wine. Chocolate pot. Mmmmmmmm. Probably will have the same tonight.

                  Feet are a little sore from yoga - we did a lot of foot stuff. I was quite conservative as I have a long history of foot problems and don't care to walk down that road again. I stopped well short of everyone else despite the teacher's berating me. Does she not realize that one can't strengthen one's feet in one session? That this is a gradual thing? That people who have had six surgeries on their feet and a long history of plantar fascitis can't push things too hard all at once? Hmmmm.

                  Once again, thanks for all your support, you guys are the best! I ended up laughing really hard instead of feeling sorry for myself.
                  Last edited by Siobhan; 04-03-2014, 07:04 AM.
                  My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                  "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                  Comment


                  • My new bird feeder should arrive today, not a moment too soon. I heard birdsong this morning for the first time in months. Dare I hope the warblers have arrived? The old broken feeder is still out and the birds are still managing to get some nutrition out of it despite the mangling. The goldfinches are all gold now. I am having very uncharitable thoughts towards the squirrel, such as wondering what squirrel stew would taste like. There is actually plenty of stuff for him to eat, lots of stuff on the ground, suet, corn - he doesn't have to destroy the feeder. But that is the nature of a squirrel!
                    My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                    "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                    Comment


                    • well................. I'm bummed that K had to cancel. But you seem to have a good attitude about it. Playing Devil's Advocate - he probably was very much needed by said cancer friend. It was likely a difficult decision for him to cancel your date. I say give the guy the benefit of the doubt ................ but remain a bit cautious. As for the "romance" ........... maybe best to hold back the goods for a while longer until you're sure where the relationship stands and what you're truly wanting from it. However - that advice comes from a woman of VERY limited worldly experience. I've had 2 sexual partners in my life - and I've married both of them. So - you can totally disregard any advice I give in that department.
                      1. Love ME no matter what noises are screaming at me, or who is trying to tear me down.
                      2. Eat to heal
                      3. Move to live
                      4. Embrace today
                      5. Live with intention
                      6. Respect my body
                      7. Cultivate joy
                      8. Find my passion
                      9. Meditate on peace in my soul

                      Comment


                      • You are so right, tomi. This cow ain't giving any free milk anytime soon. The gentleman is going to have to prove himself milkworthy.
                        My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                        "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

                        Comment


                        • I sure remember my Mother's battles with the squirrels and the bird feeders when I was growing up (In MA). We got every kind of "squirrel proof" feeder they came out with. The cleaver creatures always managed to get into them anyway. As a kid, I thought the squirrels were cute, and I didn't see what the problem was. My solution was, just fill up the feeders more often! I didn't get how expensive bird seed was.....

                          I am envious. We had those bird feeders strung up in our back yard right outside the breezeway windows. We ate our meals there, and I would watch the birds while I ate. Sometimes I would sit there a good deal longer and just watch them all doing their thing. So many different kinds too. It was a great meditation before I even knew what that was! I have hummingbird feeders now, and they get quite a few customers, but I don't have the nice view of them from the table like I did as a kid.... You are blessed indeed with your birds!
                          This is my journal page!
                          http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread100547.html

                          My life's work: www.questtheawakening.com

                          "Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right!" The Grateful Dead

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                          • The beautiful birds are one of the nicest things about living here, and of course our awareness of other species has changed a lot in recent years. Until recently I didn't think much about this sort of thing, but all songbird species are on the decline, and backyard feeding is important due to loss of habitat and other factors. Squirrel numbers, OTOH, are not a cause for concern.

                            Although this winter was harsher than I would have liked, I do so enjoy watching the seasons change - for this California kid it is astonishing. Although I have lived in a lot of cold climates (I've lived in just about every climate) I didn't notice so much because I lived in the city. I still have not gotten used to the violence of Northeastern spring. It's like a huge bomb goes off but instead of destroying it creates.

                            The new bird feeder is here, in place, and being discovered by the birds. I have great hopes that even if the little monster does his worst he won't be able to destroy it. It is pretty sturdy, all glass and metal. Very nice device.

                            For anyone wondering, I haven't heard from K and no, I have not and am not going to contact him. Ex called out of the blue this morning and since he knows me pretty well, he sussed out right away that I was bummed about something. I told him the whole sad story. He offered to call up K and tell him he is the world's second biggest idiot after Ex himself. That did make me laugh!
                            My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                            "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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                            • I did wonder if perhaps the poor chap has performance anxieties. 'Milkworthy' - I spat out my coffee.
                              I like badgers, books and booze, more or less in that order.

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                              • Originally posted by badgergirl View Post
                                I did wonder if perhaps the poor chap has performance anxieties. 'Milkworthy' - I spat out my coffee.
                                That thought had occurred to me...

                                And glad I gave you a laugh!
                                My Primal Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread53052.html

                                "Freedom from fear" could be said to sum up the whole philosophy of human rights. - Dag Hammarskjold

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